I Must Be Crazy

Once at Walmart I got a months worth of food, toiletries, body wash, shampoo, deodorant, body spray, more makeup, nail polish. I even went to the nail salon in Walmart to get my nails done. I got them an inch long and they were all a matte black. Like there was no shine like charcoal and the middle fingers were like a charcoal grey. I tipped the lady an extra 20 and left with all my stuff. As I was putting everything in the Jeep I heard a whistle. I looked and saw DP walking up
“Are you stalking me?” I asked smirking as he began to help me load things in the Jeep
“Maaayyybeee. So...Where’d you get this bad boy?” He asked but gasped seeing the Ironman sticker on the back of the Jeep
“Are you seeing Tony Stark?!” He asked in shock. I laughed
“No I just have better connections than you. You have the xMen but I’ve got the avengers and thanks to the boy I babysat that we know today as Spider-Man, he called up Tony and told him what I’ve been through so he gave me a Jeep, slapped this little device on me Incase that angel bitch comes back to try and take me back to Ajax and he gave me a black card!” I said showing him excitedly
“Oh I see so you’ve got a sugar daddy now” Wade said crossing his arms
“Not really he just wanted to help me out. He left to go to dinner with his fiancé after he helped me out. Tried to hook me up with captain America but I declined that offer” I said as I put the last bag in the Jeep and closed the back door.
“Well how nice” wade said sounding annoyed
“DP don’t tell me you’re jealous! You have a hot ass girl that I bet you still haven’t gone to see!” I said poking his chest
“I am absolutely not jealous at all! I just.. I just think that’s a lot to take from someone. You don’t think it’s weird he gave you a black card?” Wade asked but I rolled my eyes
“He said I deserved it after everything I went though... I mean tony is known to be very generous..that’s thanks to Pepper after all. I heard before her he was quite the rich playboy cocky asshole” I said smirking.
“Hey So was I before I became a cauliflower” wade said making me sigh and roll my eyes
“Did you need a ride or something? I’m going to unpack and eat something solid before I go to the club” I asked as I pulled out my keys
“Can we get chimichangas?! I know where the food truck is!” Wade said hopping in. I rolled my eyes laughing
“Sure DP” I sigh smiling at him.
~*screw Vanessa then screw him!!~*
“You need to shut the fuck up or I’ll blow my brains out! At least it would quiet for a while!” I said angrily
“Oooo you’ve got voices in your head too?!You’re like Marvel’s Harley Quinn! But you’re not as dark!” Wade said excitedly
“Who???? And Yes she’s an annoying cunt!” I said angrily
“Doesn’t matter! What did she say?” Wade asked making my eyes widen
“Trust me you don’t want to know” I said groaning
“She’s talking about me isn’t she?” He said turning his masked head to look at me
“Yes and trust me what she wants is something I can’t and won’t do” I said gripping the steering wheel as I pulled out of the parking spot and drove off
“What is it? Come on tell me tell me tell meeee!!” wade said in the most annoying way. As I was driving I pulled the wheel hard to the left and made Wades head hit the window
“Whoops sorry there was a possum in the road!” I said smirking
“Ouch!!! Oh come on what ever it is it’s obvious it not like you feel that way!” Wade said
I groaned...oh how wrong you were...
“She said screw V and screw you myself! Are you happy now?! Is that what you wanted to fucking hear??! Because you’re right I’d NEVER do that!” I said angrily. Wade was silent for a while then looked at me again
“She’s a dirty birdy !” Wade said finally making me blush madly.
“No like I said she’s a cunt” I said as I stopped at a red light. I turned on the radio and Control by Halsey was on.
I sighed enjoying the music as I drove
“STOP!” Wade yelled, scaring the shit out of me and making me slam on the breaks. Wade hit the dashboard and groaned
“Break check! Remember kids always wear your seatbelt!”I said laughing as I parked and got out. Wade soon regained his composure and got out with me. We walked to the food truck and this man ordered 20 fucking chimichangas!!!
“And for you miss?” The man asked
“Um just a crunch wrap please with NO tomatoes and I swear if there’s tomatoes on it OR onions we’re gonna have a problem because I’m allergic!” I said and he nodded and began to cook
“Are you really allergic to tomatoes and onions?” Wade asked but I smirked
“No but if I say allergic they’ll remember because they don’t want to get sued” I whispered as I handed the guy some money. After about 5 minutes we received our food and we sat down by a near by bench and ate. Wade only pulled his mask up to reveal his mouth and began to chow down. I smiled at him seeing the excitement over some chimichangas. He was so cute and funny in his own way... soon enough I realized I was blushing
~Stop it!~
~*just admit you love him~*
~no!~
~*denile~*
Once we finished eating we got back in the Jeep
“You going home?” I asked
“Yeah I’ve got some Francis killing to plan” he said making me smirk.
“Alright no problem” I said and drove to his apartment.
“Be safe DP! Oh and DeadPool!” I called and he turned to look at me
“Just for the record I’d sleep with V before you. If you don’t tell her tonight I just might steal her from you instead of my sick alter egos plan” I said smirking evilly. Wade gasped
“Don’t you dare that is MY vagina! Wait are you actually a lesbian?!” He yelled pointing at me. I laughed
“I’m bi you idiot! But if you don’t want me to steal her you better do something about it tonight! Cya later ya cock muncher!” I said laughing and closed my door as he yelled as I drove off. I had no idea what he said but I drove to my apartment and before getting out I looked all around. I opened my jacket seeing the circle on my chest still glowing. I smiled and began to bring in my groceries.
After I finished unpacking everything I texted Pete

< leaving for the club in 30, good luck on your date and DONT BLOW IT! >;D >

After I applied makeup and did my hair in a high pony tail I got a text back

< Don’t say that because I’m already so nervous i feel like I’m gonna throw up and she’s in a beautiful dress so I really don’t want to blow this! No pun intended! :( >

I laughed at that and texted back

< Just breathe and be yourself. You’re a good guy and you’re Spider-Man! You’re a total badass! Embrace it! But don’t let it go to your head kid! By the way thank you SO much for introducing me to TONY STARK!!!! :DDD > I sent him a picture of my chest piece

I put on a jacket with inside pockets and put a gun in one pocket and a box of bullets in the other. One gun and my powers should do it. My phone vibrates and I took a look as I grabbed my purse and my keys

< oh that’s so cool he gave you a little protection! And you’re welcome! I figured he was the wisest and richest of the avengers to help you out! >

I smiled at that

< yeah he tried to set me up with the captain but that man is just too ‘for the greater good’ for me. I have a bad habit of being attracted to a tortured soul >

I texted back and put my phone in my pocket. I looked out my peephole to make sure nobody was there and when I stepped out I looked around. Sighing relieved I raced to the elevator and as the doors closed, angel was there and she grabbed the door and forced it open

“Oh fuck me!” I groaned and as she went to punch me I dived under her legs and ran to the nearest window throwing myself out of it and landing on the ground on my feet. Thank god I had my combat boots on and my heels in my purse. I quickly made it to my Jeep and as I saw her jump out of the window in the rear view mirror, I hit the gas and sped off. She tried to run to keep up but I was doing 80 and eventually she stopped and watched me go. I peeled wheeled as I turned the corner and sped to the club, KARMA!!
I looked back to make sure I lost her and when I didn’t see her I quickly switched from my boots to my stiletto heels and applying lipgloss I walked to the front of the line.