Can’t Look Away

“Is the party crasher asleep again?”

Sasha rolled her eyes as she wandered back into the living room, shooting a playful glare at Cassie who was curled up on the couch, grinning around a glass of wine. It’d been a while since they had hung out. Sasha had been busy, preparing for Arlo to come along, and Cassie had been spending more and more time with the new man she had started to see, but with Lionel due to stay away overnight ahead of an early kick-off the next day, Sasha had asked Cassie to drop by. The house still got quiet. Even with Arlo around, whenever Lionel went away, the house felt empty, and Sasha tried to fill it. She had never liked how quiet the place seemed when Lionel wasn’t around.

“You can’t call my baby a party crasher” Sasha quipped, her voice warm and playful.

Cassie flashed her an impish smile, offering her a nonchalant shrug.

Sasha rolled her eyes again before she settled back onto the sofa, picking up her glass of lemonade.

“Is he OK?” Cassie prodded.

Sasha nodded, swallowing a sip of her drink as a gentle smile brightened her features. “He just needed his nappy changed” she replied “And it took a little while to get him back to sleep again. He’s still not sleeping a lot at night” she added.

“It’s still so weird that you’ve got a baby” Cassie quipped, shaking her head softly.

“It’s a good weird, though” Sasha agreed “I mean, he’s cute, isn’t he?” she added with a grin.

Cassie scoffed. “You know full well that he’s adorable” she quipped “But, for the record, I think that that has got more to do with his papa than anything else” she added.

“His papa is very cute” Sasha agreed “But we already knew that. I want to see a picture of your boyfriend” she added, clapping her hands excitedly.

She was excited for Cassie. After Nolan, it had taken her a long time to get back out there, and even longer to find someone that she actually liked, and now that she had, Sasha wanted to make a fuss, more so since it gave her the chance to shift the conversation away from Lionel. Things still felt a little off. In the couple of days that had passed since their engagement, the mood between them had been slightly strange, and Sasha didn’t quite know how to put it right again.

Cassie’s cheeks flushed a soft shade of pink before she leant forwards, collecting her phone from the coffee table. Tapping at the screen a couple of times, she located a picture before she turned the phone around, allowing Sasha to see the screen. “His name is Aiden” she said quietly “We’ve been official for a couple of weeks” she added.

Sasha gently pried the phone out of her hand before looked up, offering Cassie a grin. “Official?” she prodded.

Cassie rolled her eyes. “Are you going to be this annoying all night?” she quipped.

Sasha offered her a non-committal shrug. “Probably” she mused.

Cassie groaned, something which made Sasha giggle before she shook her head, gently passing the phone back to her friend. “Are you happy?” she asked “I mean, I know it’s really early, but things are going well between you, aren’t they?” she clarified.

“I’m happy” Cassie confirmed “We talked about Nolan the other day” she added.

Sasha’s eyebrows climbed up her forehead as she sipped on her drink. “You did?” she asked, putting the glass back down.

Cassie nodded, gently pushing her hair behind her ear. “I wanted him to know about it” she noted “I’m going to want to move things along slowly, and I wanted him to know why instead of just freaking out on him further down the line. You know I don’t love talking about him, but talking to Aiden about it was...it was surprisingly easily, and surprisingly cathartic” she added.

“Really?” Sasha asked.

“He listened really well” Cassie mused with a little shrug “And he made me laugh about some stuff, too. He was just really comforting, and reassuring, and it was a pretty huge deal for me. I really like him, Sasha” she added, a gentle smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

Sasha stared at her for a moment, a soft smile on her face, before she leant over, squeezing her hands gently. “I’m happy for you” she enthused.

“I’m happy for me, too” Cassie quipped “Now, all we’ve got to do is set up a date to introduce Leo and Aiden. When are you two...” she trailed off as she spotted the slightly pained expression that had passed over Sasha’s face.

Sasha frowned. “Why’d you stop talking?” she asked.

“What did you do?” Cassie pressed.

“What?” Sasha retorted.

“You’re making the face” Cassie mused “The one you make when something is up between you and Leo. So, what did you do?” she asked.

Sasha opened her mouth, preparing a quip about how it might not have been her, but she stopped herself. Instead, she let out a soft sigh. “I need to tell you a couple of things” she said gently.

Cassie frowned, but nodded. “Anything” she mused.

Sasha fidgeted for a moment before she shook her head. “Leo asked me to marry him a few months ago” she admitted.

“Months?!” Cassie exclaimed.

“I didn’t say yes then” Sasha replied, holding her hands up in a gesture which told her friend to quieten down to avoid disturbing Arlo “I didn’t say yes to him until a couple of days ago” she added.

“OK” Cassie said “We’re going to circle back around to you hiding his proposal from me, your lifelong best friend, for months. Right now, we’re going to focus on the fact that, for a woman who just got engaged, you don’t look so excited. Is everything alright?” she asked, her voice softening slightly.

Sasha was quiet for a moment before she shook her head, a gentle sigh falling out of her mouth. “I know I want to marry him” she said gently “Honestly, I have probably known it for a while, but I wanted to think on it for a little while. Things were coming at us quickly, I was pregnant when he asked, and so I just...I wanted things to calm down a little before we really talked about it. We were talking the other night, and it just...it felt right, Cass. He asked, I said yes, and I thought that that would be that” she added.

“But?” Cassie prodded.

“He asked me if it was keeping me up” Sasha replied “He meant with excitement, but I just...I assumed that he meant doubt. He thinks I doubt him” she added.

Cassie’s expression softened. “You do have a habit of jumping to the worst conclusion” she noted.

“I do?” Sasha asked.

Cassie’s nod was slight, trying to soften the blow a little. “You’re also pretty great at talking yourself out of your own happiness” she said “You got hurt, badly, by Alex, and the whole thing with Olivier and your sister, it just piled on the back of it, but he’s not them, and honestly? He’s done nothing to warrant the comparisons. Can I give you my opinion?” she asked.

Sasha’s lips quirked up slightly. “Can I stop you?” she quipped.

“No” Cassie mused “Because even if you don’t want to hear it, I think you need to. I think you know that he’s it. I think you knew it really early on. I think you probably had an inkling about him the first time you met him. That’s why you asked him to dinner. It didn’t have anything to do with shared experiences, I think you just used that to justify to yourself that you liked the guy. For the first time in a very long time, you’d met someone you just liked, and you didn’t want to let him go, so you didn’t. He’s been patient, and he’s so crazy about you it’s frankly disgusting” she added, flashing Sasha a small teasing smile.

Sasha’s cheeks flushed pink. “Cassie...”

“I’m not finished” Cassie interjected “You love him, too. Anyone can see it, and you keep trying to protect yourself from something we both know isn’t coming, but, if you keep those walls up, it will happen. He just wants you to trust in what you’ve got, in him, and if you can’t, then...” she trailed off, offering a small shrug in place of the end of her sentence.

“I want to” Sasha whispered.

“Then do it” Cassie mused “I’m doing it with Aiden. Things with Nolan ended badly, and it hurt, but that doesn’t mean things with Aiden will be the same. For you, Alex and Olivier were shitty, but Leo isn’t. He just wants you to be as in it as he is” she added.

Sasha nodded her head slowly, something which caused Cassie to clasp her shoulder reassuringly. “You’ve got to keep what makes you happy around” she mused “No one else will do it for you” she added.

Sasha quirked a slight grin. “Have I told you lately that you’re my favourite person?” she quipped.

“I’m at least third, now” Cassie retorted “But, you can make it up to me by making me maid of honour when you marry him” she added.

“Done” Sasha quipped.