Masterpiece Theater

At the studio, I eagerly watched the band inside the booth as they laid down instrumentals for a song they called “Scream”. The concentration on Brian’s face was intense. He didn’t look up once, keeping his whole focus on his hands while he played.

I still hadn’t decided if I was mad at him or not. I’d gone to his house with the full intent of talking with him over coffee. For the second time, my emotions and my hormones got the better of me. Seeing him, hearing him call my name, unraveled me. I wanted him in a way I hadn’t wanted anyone in a long time.

I only found out his secret because I’d been moping, listening to City of Evil on repeat, watching music videos. I thought it was just my eyes playing a trick on me because I missed him, but when I searched the web for Synyster Gates, Brian’s picture was all over my screen.

I should have realized it before, because there was something oddly familiar about his eyes and his voice. I’d spent weeks trying to place it and when I finally put two and two together, I felt completely stupid.

Ever since I helped Jason plan his romantic getaway, all I could think about was how I didn’t want to spend Valentine’s Day alone. I didn't want to spend it with Danny because we had a strict sex only policy. No dates, no feelings. No long conversations about our day.

All I could think about was Brian, wondering why he would lie to me about who he was. So, I made the decision to confront him about it. I got a hell of a lot more than I bargained for.

The answer he gave me when I asked was honest, but vague. Him being famous didn’t change anything for me. These feelings hit me as soon as I met him; they weren’t going to go away. I did my best to ignore them but you couldn't ignore lightning when it struck.

I needed to figure out how I was going to be with him and still take care of Jason.

It was what I wanted and I was tired of fighting it and ending up miserable and alone.

Either they would accept it or they wouldn’t and if Brian didn’t accept it, he wasn’t the man he led me to believe.

If Jason didn’t accept it, well, that was Jason, and he was going to have to get over it because I didn’t have enough energy in me to stay mad at him for keeping me from being happy and I wasn't going to be miserable just to keep him pleased.

My phone buzzed. It was Ali. I hadn't heard from her since Saturday, so I slipped out of the room into the hallway and answered it.

"Where the hell have you been?"

"You mean where the hell am I, and I am in the penthouse suite of the Four Seasons eating strawberries and cream and drinking champagne. What are you doing?"

"Who'd you bag?"

"Christian Tate."

"The model?"

"Yup. I met him at some big executive party a couple weeks ago-"

"That you snuck into," I added. Ali had a fame fetish. She didn't care to be famous, and she didn't like the spotlight of actually being connected to anyone famous, but she loved playing the mistress of a lot of big names. It was some kind of power trip that came with being an only child whose parents were never around.

It also helped her give insider tips to all the tabloids.

"So not the point. Anyway, he told me he wanted to spend Valentine's Day with me. Isn't that great?"

"You know he's got a girlfriend in New York, right?"

"So?"

I rolled my eyes. That was Ali.

"How about you? You talk to Famous McLiar Pants yet?"

"In a manner of speaking."

"Dirty. Tell me everything." She said gleefully.

"Later and off the record. I'm with him at the studio."

"Ooh. Lucky you."

"Yeah." I mumbled, suddenly melancholy. I got quiet.

"You've got Bambi face."

"Do not."

"Something's got you worked up." She pointed out. Sometimes I hated that she could read me so well “You haven’t talked to him, have you?”

“No,” I mumbled, picking at the frayed hem of my shirt.

“Why not?”

“We haven’t had a chance.”

“Bullshit.”

“It hasn’t come up.

“Try again.”

“Fine. I’m a coward. Happy?”

“No. Now get your ass in there and put on your big girl pants.”

I hung up and after a couple steadying breaths, I walked back into the room. The guys were just coming out of the sound booth. Brian walked over me and kissed my cheek.

"Everything okay?" He looked panicked, scared that I would run away again. I put my hand on his cheek and pecked his lips in assurance.

"Yeah. Ali was just checking in. She's been kinda AWOL the last few days. I was worried."

The breath he released filled me with guilt. He'd been counting on my having to bail on him. Again. I couldn't imagine the relief he felt now that I was staying.

"You're a good friend."

"I try to be." We smiled at each other.

"If you're done being gross, we're all starving." Matt growled.

He kept his arm around me as we exited the studio, stepping out into the bright afternoon. I held onto him tightly, grateful that my brother was still holed up in the mountains with Ian. What was supposed to have been a weekend getaway had turned into a week-long spiritual retreat.

Whatever that meant.

"Pizza?" Brian suggested.

“Munchies!” Jimmy called out, walking backwards to face us while he talked.

Everyone muttered in agreement, except Matt, who lit a cigarette and hightailed it to his Escalade.

“So, are you two like, a thing now?” Jimmy teased.

“Who’s askin’?” I quipped. I put a cigarette in my mouth and Brian lit it for me. I thanked him with a smile before blowing smoke in Jimmy’s face.

“Inquiring minds want to know. We’re tired of seeing him mope.”

“You were moping?”

“No!” He defended, irritated. “I wasn’t moping.”

“The hell you weren’t!” Zack piped in.

“You’re a shitty liar, Gates. You’ve been so strung out on her, I can’t believe she’s actually real.”

He took the teasing like a champ. I gripped his hand tight in mine and leaned into him while we walked.

“Shotgun!” Jimmy yelled, racing to the passenger door.

“Uh uh. To the back seat with you.” Brian pushed him out of the way and held the door open for me. Before I could slide in, Johnny dove around me, landing sideways in the seat.

“Out!”

“It’s fine. I’ll sit in the back.”

“You sure?”

I nodded and kissed him. He put his hands on my hips and kissed me again. Smiling, I leaned into him, deepening it. When he turned me and pushed me against the side of the car, the rest of the guys started hollering.

After another minute, he pulled away and popped open the door for me. Jimmy got in on the other side. When I looked out the window, Matt was glaring at me, ignoring whatever it was that Zack was saying to him.

Guilty without knowing why, I looked away and buckled my seat belt. Jimmy decided to stretch out and lay his head in my lap.

“Why, hello there.” I chuckled. Brian shook his head, but I could tell he was laughing too.

“You’re soft.” He took a minute to get comfortable, rolling on his side and slipping one arm behind my back, resting the other on my thigh, under his head. “Very comfy.”

“Thank you?”

“You’re welcome.”

I didn’t question it. I let him be and rolled my window down so I could smoke another cigarette, content to be riding with them.