Be All Mine

“How much longer, Mommy?” asked Mikey from the back seat of Matt's truck, that question now permanently burned into my brain. He'd probably asked that question at least ten times and it had only been half an hour since he'd entered the vehicle.

I sighed and smiled as I glanced at him in the rear-view mirror. “Another half an hour, babe. Okay? Can you just wait until I say 'we're here' to ask that again?”

He nodded. “Okay, mommy,” he said, going back to watching the mirage of buildings and ocean flying by.

Matt sat very content in his seat as he rested his elbow on the open window, hand resting gently on the top of the diamond-white Ford F-150. He hummed along to the Black Tide song on the CD player and glanced over at me as I quickly looked away.

“I saw you looking,” he said, still watching the freeway we were speeding through. “Don't try to hide.”

Blushing, I said, “I wasn't looking, I was just resting my eyes on something, and you happened to be that thing. So...” I made a noise and stuck my tongue out at him. “So take that, Mister Shadows, sir!”

“Watch it there, Audrey,” he joked. “Don't make me turn into the claw.”

Puzzled expression worn very obvious across my face, I asked, “The Claw? What's that?”

Matt's right hand quickly shot at my side and started to playfully grip at it and I howled in laughter as Mikey laughed. “Alright! Matt! MATT!!” I shrieked, finally turning into panic as I thought of us going off of the road or something. “Matt! Please! Stop!”

He finally let go and returned his hand to the steering wheel once more. “I told you I would turn into the claw,” he said in a smutty tone. “Don't ever underestimate my power, little girl. I own.”

Rolling my eyes, I teased, “If I'm a little girl, than you're a pedophile.”

“I like 'em young and fresh.”

“You're a pig,” I joked.

“If that's how you like me,” he countered, laughing as I shook my head and leaned away from him to watch the scenery outside my window.

After another silent twenty or so minutes, Matt looked back at Mikey and said, “Hey, kiddo, we're here.”

I snapped out of my space cadet land and found us rolling through the very back gates of the large out-door stadium, buses and trailers of every size and color scattered around aimlessly. People we're walking around in quick movements and music equipment was being pulled and pushed around on carts.

Mikey pointed out of the window at the large Avenged Sevenfold tent and tour bus where I could see Brian ( or who we all knew as Synyster Gates) and Johnny sitting around drinking water or iced tea. As soon as we pulled up, James ( better known as The Rev) and Zacky hopped out of the tour bus.

“Hey, what's up guys?” asked Johnny as I opened Mikey's door and carried him on my hip. Matt gave me a look that I understood meant something along the lines of, “You shouldn't carry him; you're super pregnant.” But I just smiled it off and gave Mikey to the open-armed Brian, who then carried him onto the bus.

“I'm here for the show,” I joked, taking a seat beside Johnny as he handed me an ice-cold water bottle. “What are you guys up to?”

Johnny shrugged as Matt took a seat on the other side of him. “Just waiting for another, what? Five or six hours? Gets kind of dull, so we walk around a lot. Are you, uh, able to walk around in the heat like this?”

I laughed. “Matt told you it was twin trouble, huh?”

He smiled and nodded.

“I'm actually really not that tired, yet,” I informed him. “With Mikey I was down for like half the day by now. I think that was just because he was my first child though.”

“Still,” Johnny said, “It's got to be really hot for you, Miss Chicago.

Rolling my eyes, I said, “Chicago gets hot, too. You people act like it's Alaska or something. Yes, we have snow, but only in the winter. Our summer's get hot as well. Maybe more humid though.”

“You're a trooper, Chicago,” he joked.
“That my name now?” I giggled.

He nodded. “You bet you're ass it is. Now if you excuse me, I must go pee.”

“You sure you're okay out in the heat? We could always go in the tour bus and sit by a fan, or something,” offered Matt.

I got up and off my chair as I took a few steps toward him and leaned over to kiss his sweet, sweet lips. He tried to keep us stuck like that but I teased and pulled away. “I'm Chicago, remember? We Illinoisans know how to rock it long and hard. Now where's my son?”

Matt followed me on to the RV and I found Brian and Zacky sitting on the couch with Mikey as he told them about how he was going to see them play later. I just giggled and watched.

“So you like our band, kiddo?” asked Zacky.

Mikey nodded excitedly. “Yeah. Mommy plays you all of the time. Mommy said that, when, when I was real little, like, a baby, that I used to stomp my foot to the beat, the beat of your drums,” he said hurriedly.

“Really?” asked Brian.

I nodded. “He's always wanted to be a drummer. I said I'd get him a set when he can tie his shoes on his own. Seems only fair. At least to me it does.”

“Damn, you're harsh,” joked Zacky, as I laughed and let Matt walk past me to Mikey.

He picked him up and held him high as he said, “How about you, me, and your mom go walk around? Sound cool with you, my main man?”

Mikey chuckled and said, “Word, homie!”

I slapped Matt's shoulder. “What have you taught my son, Mathew? I had such a good hard rock groove going. Now he's Tupac!”

Matt shrugged and led us outside, Mikey on his hip as I held his left hand and strolled along through the maze of tour buses. I stopped to get a shirt signed by Black Tide, a picture with All That Remains, and even a small chat with Atreyu who also gave me a signed shirt.

“Could you get used to his?” asked Matt, still carrying Mikey who proudly held onto his signed drumstick by all three of the bands we saw.

“Bet your ass I could!” I shrieked, as a man suddenly snapped a photo of the three of us. “Wow! Hold up! What the hell?”

Matt swore at the guy who kept walking and yelled, “Don't ever run across me again! You hear?” He turned back around and grabbed my hand once more. “Damned reporter from some stupid magazine like US Weekly or People. They're always assuming someone's married, or engaged.”

I laughed. “Just give them what they want then.”

Matt paused.

I stopped to look at him as he looked at me oddly. “What? I was kidding. You know, a simple joke? Ha ha? What are you STARING at?”

“Nothing. I just like your style, Chicago,” he said, pulling me along once more as we rounded the stage to the merchandise tables. Matt talked to Mikey as they looked at jewelery and I headed down the isles to look at cute, hand-made messenger bags and sling purses. I glanced away from the four bags I was thinking of buying to see Matt talking to Mikey and then pointing at the glass cases, then talking to the salesperson casually.

I just went back to shopping around and bumped into the same reporter once more as he snapped another picture. I was sure he was going to snap another photo of my kid, so I punched him square in the gut as he made a blast of air noise and crouched over. “Take another picture of my kid, and I'll make sure to go Chicago style on your ass! Got it?”

The man walked away quickly as Matt clapped right behind me. “Wow Audrey,” he laughed. “We've been here forty-five minutes and you've managed to punch a reporter. Good work.”

I glowered at the guy as he walked away and said, “He took a picture of my kid like three times. I have the RIGHT as a mom to take him out if I don't want my kid pictured for some fag magazine.”

Matt smiled and kissed my head as he put his free arm around my waist and pulled me along with him to go back to the bus. I was still pissed that people had the nerve to go up to people's children and snap their photo right in the kid's face. People have become so outrageous. They'd rather read about and look at celebrities' kids rather than their own or their families' kids. When did a new picture of Angelina Jolie's twins become a world phenomenon like Buddha or Jesus?

Synyster and Johnny both were grilling up some hot dogs and burgers when we arrived back to their spot and I stepped onto the bus where The Rev and Zacky were napping. I tossed my purse onto the small table in the middle of the bus and walked back off as Matt picked me up and swung me around in circles.

“You know I love you, right?” he said mischievously.

I stared at him oddly and held onto his shoulders as he still held me in his arms. “What do you want, now, M. Shadows? You obviously want something; I know that voice.”

He blushed and kissed my cheek. “Will you sing two songs with us instead? I want you to also sing SEIZE THE DAY with us. I know you know that one. I heard you sing it in the shower the other day.”

Rolling my eyes, I sighed and kissed his cheek adding, “You owe me big time for this. Mikey has to be on stage with me though. He's like my comfort object. If he isn't there, I might just piss myself.”

Matt laughed and put me back down as I wrapped my arms around his waist, hands resting gently on the lower portion of his strong back. I rested my head against his chest and he pressed his lips against the top of my head. He smelled like a TRUE man; my man. As odd as that sounds.

“Well,” Matt said. “We should take some naps so we're ready for the show. Hey Brian? Can you watch after Mikey for awhile?”

Brian nodded and handed Mikey a ketchup-covered hot dog and a large bag of chips as Mikey hopped into one of the lawn chairs. I followed Matt inside the bus and he headed into the back of the bus where the very large leather sofas were.

Matt rolled onto one and I lied next to him as he pulled me as close as possible. He kissed my lips and I giggled as he kept smooching my face all over and then gave me a raspberry on the shoulder.

“Alright, nap time, Audrey,” he said, yawning and then closing his eyes as he lowered himself to rest his head on my stomach. “Goodnight twins,” he whispered as I smiled and closed my own eyes.

I opened my eyes to the silence of an empty bus, found Matt still asleep on my stomach, and looked at a digital clock on the wall. It read five thirty which meant Matt and I had been asleep for over an hour.

Tickling his neck with the tips of my fingers, I said softly, “Wake up, Matt. Time to shine.”

He shifted, rolled his head to the other side and then tightened his grip on my waist once more. I smoothed my hand over his head and laughed when his head shot straight up as the one of the twins kicked within me. Matt looked super confused and I smiled as he stared straight down at my stomach.

“That's fucked up,” he said, rubbing his hands over my stomach, sitting up as I did. “But kind of cute. In a weird way.”

He pulled me up to my feet by my hands and tugged me into a tight hug, slipping me the tongue as I completely stopped breathing; he took away my air. I was still for a minute even after he pulled away.

“You okay there, mommy?” he chuckled.

“More than you'd think,” I replied, leading us out of the tour bus and into the setting sunlight as Mikey ran away from Brian who pretended to chase after him. He ran straight into me and wrapped his arms around my legs as he shrieked. Brian tickled him and picked him up, holding him above his head with both hands.

A man that I recognized as the guys' engineer, Fred Archambault, headed towards us and smiled at me. “Hello, Audrey,” he began, kissing my cheek as he asked, “How have you been?”

I nodded. “Good, thanks. Yourself?”

He smiled. “Never better. You all ready to go? We need to be over behind stage in ten minutes where we'll wait for our set for about fifteen minutes. I brought Mikey some earplugs that are meant to muffle the sound so it will be like listening to a car radio rather than this gigantic mess of sound.”

Taking the orange plugs from Fred, I thanked him and retrieved Mikey so I could insert them into his ears. “These will make sure none of the bad sounds hurt your ears, buddy. Okay?”

Mikey nodded and asked, “Do I go on stage, too?”

I nodded and inserted the other ear plug as I said, “Matt wanted you to be there, too. You need to thank him when he's done talking, okay?”

He smiled and said, “Okay, mommy.”

I took Mikey's hand and also Matt's as we all headed over to the main stage, their gear and equipment already over there and waiting to be put on stage. People stared at us as we passed, and I think it was mainly because of Mikey and me. I knew rumors were going to fly, and I could bet people would say I was some type of gold digger or celebrity stalker or something.

But I also didn't care. I was with Matt and we were in love, and that was all I ever needed to know.

Atreyu, who was ahead of Avenged Sevenfold was in the middle of one of their songs when we all found our way behind stage, Mikey growing excited as he watched the band from the closest he'd ever probably be. Or so I thought until the singer waved for Mikey to come on stage with him. I nodded and Mikey ran out front to where the front man knelt down and introduced him as a good friend of his. The drummer ran out and said something to him, where he then picked up Mikey and went back to his drum set, sitting Mikey on his lap as they started one of their more famous hits.

Mikey ran back very excited when they were done, and I gave him a very warm hug. The band gave me a hug and I thanked them so much for making Mikey's day.

I watched nervously from behind stage as roadies and stage men moved the band's things off of and on to the stage, Matt joking around with the guys as Mikey swung around on my hands. My heart was going nuts, bouncing around my rib cage like an estranged monkey.

“How are you holding up, kid?” Matt asked Mikey, as he swayed back and forth to the music playing through a sound system, fans shouting loudly as they awaited the band of the night.

Mikey smiled and said, “I'm ready to rock, Matt.”

I looked at Matt and waited for our time to shine...