Adventures in Babysitting
Chapter Twenty: Lullaby
Chapter Twenty: Lullaby
When I could finally remove my eyes from the body, I picked up Adele and carried her back to the van. She was still crying as far as I could tell. My shoulders were soaked through to the bone, but I didn’t care. I was just happy Adele was safe.
The bus was lit when we got back, which was strange in its own ways. I opened the door and put Adele down. She ran off to the bunk area. I looked at her as she ran off, not even noticing Gerard coming out of the other room.
“What the hell happened? I heard gunshots!” he said. I remained silent. “Frank, what happened? When we heard the shots we were worried sick!” I started to walk away. I didn’t want to talk about this now. “Frank! What the fuck happened-”
“Marc’s dead,” I interrupted. Gerard’s face fell and went a paler shade of white. His eyes went blank for a minute.
Only two words managed to escape his mouth, “Oh God.”
“I know,” I said.
“Does Adele-”
“Yes,” I told him, “She...she was there when it happened.”
“Oh my God,” he mumbled. He fell to the couch and stared wide eyed at the window. Silence fell over the bus. I swear the world had stood still for moments on end. Nothing happened. Just silence.
Gee broke the spell, “What’s gonna...happen?” he asked in a hushed voice. I could tell he was holding back the sobs. He swallowed hard.
“I don’t know,” I told him, “I think she has to be put in some foster home or something.”
“I thought you wanted to adopt her,” he said. I looked at him. He remembered that?
“They’re not gonna let me take her in. I can’t get a ‘real’ job, and we don’t have stable living conditions. They won’t let me or any of us, take her,” I admitted not only to Gerard, but to myself. Silence fell.
“What’s gonna happen now?” Gee asked.
“I’ll sing Adele to sleep like always,” I replied. I stood up, “And take her to the place tomorrow.”
“What song?” Gerard asked me. I smiled a little.
“A new one,” I replied.
With that, I went into the back and grabbed Bela, who was tuned for the song. I opened the door to the bunk area. Ray, Mikey, and Bob all saw me, realized what I was doing and what was going on, and left the room. Silence fell. It broke with one single sob from the main room. Ray’s. I’ll never forget that.
I pulled back the plaid curtain on my bunk to reveal Adele’s tear strained face, hidden slightly under the covers. I gazed down at her and smiled softly. Her swollen eyes looked up at me. “Frankie,” she said. I stroked her hair. She said nothing more. I began to sing.
“Watch the little lambs
Dance across the midnight sky
Falling with the stars
That are streaming from your eyes.”
I looked into Adele’s eyes. She was on the verge of tear so far. So it’s a sad song. Most lullabies are.
“Come here darling and cry all you want
It’s okay to let go and let the emotion flow.”
Her grip on the blankets I think got tighter. She was holding back the sobs. She realized what was going on, I know it. She didn’t want to cry. She wanted to be brave. She didn’t have to do that.
“Lie on my shoulder and silently cry
And listen to my lullaby
Sweetie, it’ll be okay
Just hold your head and walk today.”
The tears started flowing then. Wow. My song made someone cry after the first verse? That’s pretty damn amazing. Maybe I’m getting good at this.
“Remember when there was a monster
You thought was in your closet
I came in and held you close
Walked to the door and locked it.”
The last reference was more toward me letting go of my childhood fears, but it played in part with Adele, which made her cry more. It described tonight two weeks ago. Wow.
“The monster’s not a monster
As you once thought it was
Unlock the door, and you will see
What’s in the mirror’s shiny gleam.”
Adele started crying a little harder. She couldn’t seem to stop. She grabbed my hand as it slid up and down the head of the guitar. I continued to play.
“Lie on my shoulder and silently cry
Just listen to my lullaby
Tell me what you need to say
Don’t worry. It’ll be okay.”
Adele understood. She gave me an ‘I’m scared. Please help me’ look. I gazed at her compassionately. She continued to listen.
“Ooohhhh-
Little Angel silently sobbing
Ooohhhh-
My little angel’s heart throbbing
Ooohhhh-
Three words won’t make it better
Ooohhhh-
Open the lid!”
Adele started crying even harder. But her eyes had happiness in them. She loved the song. I knew she would. That’s why I wrote it.
“Wipe away the tears from all the cries
And remember our sweet lullaby
Cry when you want, I’m always here
Just remember the lullaby forever dear.”
I finished the final verse and riff. I pulled my hand from Bela’s head to Adele’s. My fingertips wiped her tears away. I pulled Bela off and climbed into the bunk. I wrapped my arms around her shivering body and held her close to me. She said something, but I couldn’t hear it. “What?”
“I love you daddy,” she said, half asleep.
“I love you too sweetheart,” I replied. I held her tighter in my embrace.
I don’t want her to leave. She means too much to me. But I don’t have a choice. I could hear Gerard on the phone with Officer Martin in the other room. We can’t have her. I leaned my chin onto Adele’s head and kissed her forehead. I whispered in her ear,
“I’ll miss you...”
When I could finally remove my eyes from the body, I picked up Adele and carried her back to the van. She was still crying as far as I could tell. My shoulders were soaked through to the bone, but I didn’t care. I was just happy Adele was safe.
The bus was lit when we got back, which was strange in its own ways. I opened the door and put Adele down. She ran off to the bunk area. I looked at her as she ran off, not even noticing Gerard coming out of the other room.
“What the hell happened? I heard gunshots!” he said. I remained silent. “Frank, what happened? When we heard the shots we were worried sick!” I started to walk away. I didn’t want to talk about this now. “Frank! What the fuck happened-”
“Marc’s dead,” I interrupted. Gerard’s face fell and went a paler shade of white. His eyes went blank for a minute.
Only two words managed to escape his mouth, “Oh God.”
“I know,” I said.
“Does Adele-”
“Yes,” I told him, “She...she was there when it happened.”
“Oh my God,” he mumbled. He fell to the couch and stared wide eyed at the window. Silence fell over the bus. I swear the world had stood still for moments on end. Nothing happened. Just silence.
Gee broke the spell, “What’s gonna...happen?” he asked in a hushed voice. I could tell he was holding back the sobs. He swallowed hard.
“I don’t know,” I told him, “I think she has to be put in some foster home or something.”
“I thought you wanted to adopt her,” he said. I looked at him. He remembered that?
“They’re not gonna let me take her in. I can’t get a ‘real’ job, and we don’t have stable living conditions. They won’t let me or any of us, take her,” I admitted not only to Gerard, but to myself. Silence fell.
“What’s gonna happen now?” Gee asked.
“I’ll sing Adele to sleep like always,” I replied. I stood up, “And take her to the place tomorrow.”
“What song?” Gerard asked me. I smiled a little.
“A new one,” I replied.
With that, I went into the back and grabbed Bela, who was tuned for the song. I opened the door to the bunk area. Ray, Mikey, and Bob all saw me, realized what I was doing and what was going on, and left the room. Silence fell. It broke with one single sob from the main room. Ray’s. I’ll never forget that.
I pulled back the plaid curtain on my bunk to reveal Adele’s tear strained face, hidden slightly under the covers. I gazed down at her and smiled softly. Her swollen eyes looked up at me. “Frankie,” she said. I stroked her hair. She said nothing more. I began to sing.
“Watch the little lambs
Dance across the midnight sky
Falling with the stars
That are streaming from your eyes.”
I looked into Adele’s eyes. She was on the verge of tear so far. So it’s a sad song. Most lullabies are.
“Come here darling and cry all you want
It’s okay to let go and let the emotion flow.”
Her grip on the blankets I think got tighter. She was holding back the sobs. She realized what was going on, I know it. She didn’t want to cry. She wanted to be brave. She didn’t have to do that.
“Lie on my shoulder and silently cry
And listen to my lullaby
Sweetie, it’ll be okay
Just hold your head and walk today.”
The tears started flowing then. Wow. My song made someone cry after the first verse? That’s pretty damn amazing. Maybe I’m getting good at this.
“Remember when there was a monster
You thought was in your closet
I came in and held you close
Walked to the door and locked it.”
The last reference was more toward me letting go of my childhood fears, but it played in part with Adele, which made her cry more. It described tonight two weeks ago. Wow.
“The monster’s not a monster
As you once thought it was
Unlock the door, and you will see
What’s in the mirror’s shiny gleam.”
Adele started crying a little harder. She couldn’t seem to stop. She grabbed my hand as it slid up and down the head of the guitar. I continued to play.
“Lie on my shoulder and silently cry
Just listen to my lullaby
Tell me what you need to say
Don’t worry. It’ll be okay.”
Adele understood. She gave me an ‘I’m scared. Please help me’ look. I gazed at her compassionately. She continued to listen.
“Ooohhhh-
Little Angel silently sobbing
Ooohhhh-
My little angel’s heart throbbing
Ooohhhh-
Three words won’t make it better
Ooohhhh-
Open the lid!”
Adele started crying even harder. But her eyes had happiness in them. She loved the song. I knew she would. That’s why I wrote it.
“Wipe away the tears from all the cries
And remember our sweet lullaby
Cry when you want, I’m always here
Just remember the lullaby forever dear.”
I finished the final verse and riff. I pulled my hand from Bela’s head to Adele’s. My fingertips wiped her tears away. I pulled Bela off and climbed into the bunk. I wrapped my arms around her shivering body and held her close to me. She said something, but I couldn’t hear it. “What?”
“I love you daddy,” she said, half asleep.
“I love you too sweetheart,” I replied. I held her tighter in my embrace.
I don’t want her to leave. She means too much to me. But I don’t have a choice. I could hear Gerard on the phone with Officer Martin in the other room. We can’t have her. I leaned my chin onto Adele’s head and kissed her forehead. I whispered in her ear,
“I’ll miss you...”