True Confessions

"So, um, Luke...?"

"Yeah True?"

"I was wondering... if..."

My camera hung from my neck, my hands were tied up in a knot behind my back. My Vans carved tiny, rough holes in the perfect green grass of the school lawn.

"True, spit it out."

If I were him I'd be impatient too. All I did was beat aroud the bush. "Luke, I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me...?"

"Um, True... I think you're a really awesome person, you're really great to hang out with. You're my best friend, but I just like you as a friend. I hope you understand."

I gave off a shaky laugh as my hands fumbled for my camera and I began taking pictures unsteadily.

He wrapped his long fingers around my trembling wrist and forced my eyes to look into his.

"True? Look at me."

I really didn't want to for more than a second. I knew that if I held the gaze too long I would cry. I knew I would burst into tears.

But I strengthened my voice and after a long breath said, "Maybe you shouldn't come over tonight."

"Why not?"

His grip slackened on my arm and he gave me a hurt expression. "Why not?"

"Because I just don't think you should. Jake is still pretty sick and I..."

"Yeah, no, I understand."

His fingers ran through his hair in a shaky fashion of his own. We exchanged a silent glance and he wrapped his arms around me in a hug. I held my breath, already trying to forget the day. I didn't want his scent in my mind at all.

"Bye True. Make sure Jake gets better... I want to play with him. Baseball. Remind him we have plans for Friday."

"Yeah. Bye, Luke."

We walked away without looking for one another again, and when my back was on my bedroom door, I cried like there was everything wrong in my life. I wanted to kill myself. So I grabbed some scissors, pulled up my pant leg, grabbed a tissue and started digging for my red gold.