The Pain I've Grown to Know

[Flashback]

She leaned over to him and after loosing herself in his gaze, she carefully pressed her lips against his, all tension that had built up during the past few hours falling off her shoulders and mind in an instant.
At first he didn't return the kiss...he was stunned that she kissed him and too confused to take immediate action. But as soon as he heard her gasp for air, he put his hand behind her head and pulled her closer to him, parting his lips and let his tongue slip into her mouth, making her his. He gently pushed her back into the arm rest and his torso lay on top of hers. Tasting her again like this after years, he was somewhere in clouds high up in the sky. Her hands were now firmly holding on to the edges of his shoulder blades, not wanting him to break the kiss.
She couldn't describe the way she felt, even if she would have tried to. His tight body pressed onto her breasts, the warmth that was radiating from him, the way his lip ring was grazing against her lower lip...it was driving her crazy.
The truth?
She hadn't had any sexual contact with a man since leaving Vegas that night. Of course, she did have guys after her, but as soon as her baby bump had started showing, she got a well deserved break. She wasn't interested in a relationship. She was well able of taking care of her son by herself, with a little help from Sonny and other friends. She just didn't have the interest in letting any man close at this stage, she had been burnt deeply in the past.
But Matt had always been a weak point. She had never stopped being attracted to him. And although she had hardly ever seemed to listen to what advice he was giving to her, she had always listened to every single word. Knowing that he loved her and that he had her best interest in mind.

His kisses started getting more heated, as she wrapped one of her legs around his waist, feeling her warmth from between her legs waver around his crotch. She started kissing down his jaw line and then let her tongue draw soft circles around the side of his neck. His reaction was instant, as an almost silent moan escaped his mouth.

"Lea, if we don't stop, I'll be all over you in a second! I am serious!"

He whispered, making the space between them a little bigger, so that he could look down at her face. She gave him a kinky smile and bit her lower lip in a teasing manner. She knew damn well that he was easy to turn on. But so was she, and having heard his voice at the tattoo shop in the morning...her heart had missed a few beats. It had remained at its normal rate when Zack had spoken.

"You remember that night at Johnny's? When you said:
"What if I do still have the same feeling for you that I had on the very first day I met you?"
I think I have come to realize that I had feelings for you all the time I was with Zack, but I was too afraid to admit to it. I had shaken up your band enough by getting together with him, I didn't want to start the whole thing over again, so I tried to hold on to Zack, and I did love him."

She gazed up into his hazel eyes, surprised at her own confession. She had never told anyone, and had hardly ever given herself the space to admit it to herself. She could see the love in his eyes, the smile that was playing in them, even though his lips remained the same, slightly opened. Without warning, he pulled her up to him, cupping her cheeks not breaking eye contact with her.

"You are not just saying this to get me into bed Lea Hernandez, are you?"

She giggled and got up slightly, sitting spread legged on his lap. She breathed soft kisses onto his forehead, and his nose and cheeks, before looking back into his eyes.

"Why would I be lying to you Matt? There has been so much time between everything, I had a lot of time to think about every little detail. I know I loved Zack, but I think I was trying to convince myself too hard that I was loving him after everything that he had put me through, time and time again. And in between all of that, yo have always been the one that I was able to find comfort in your words, even if I have never done what you told me. I have not been with a man since that night in Vegas Matt...why would I just spring this on you now with no truth behind my words?"

He encircled her waist with his strong arms, pulling her closer to him. She had just confessed that she had loved him all through the relationship with Zack, even though she had not given him a 2nd chance, not told him every time he had brought up his love for her.

He pulled her into a kiss again and his hands started slipping under her top, running over her smooth skin. She was just about to fiddle around with his belt buckle, when they heard keys playing in the lock.

"Fuck! That's Sonny! If he sees us like this...!"

Matt pressed another kiss on her full lips and stood up, quickly walking into the kitchen with both their empty glasses. He had a hard on! He was confused. He longed for her so bad, although he couldn't get his head around what they would do from now on. He broke some ice cubes as he heard the front door being opened. He poured some of the vodka into both glasses, filling them up with cranberry juice before he closed his eyes for a moment, wishing his hard on away, before he re- entered the front room, a smile on his face. Sonny smiled at him, as he sat down next to Lea, patting her thigh.

"I assume Lea got you into the terrible vodka and cranberry mixers when she lived with you guys in Cali?"

Lea swung her head around, staring over to Matt. She started laughing and slapped her thighs in amusement. She must have gotten Matt completely worked up, so worked up that he had not noticed what he was pouring into the glasses.

"Yeah, I sure did, didn't I Sanders?"

He gave her a 'I'll get you back for this later' look and put both glasses down on the table.

"I wanna go and get her to meet up with Zack and the others. Is there anyway you could take care of her baby for a few hours? I think that she needs to talk to Zack before things get out of hand."

Sonny just nodded and smiled: he instantly liked this guy, and he was trying hard not to look at the boner that Matt was sporting, or Lea's wound lips.
Matt grabbed Lea's cell of the counter and dialed Zacky's number, as he swallowed hard on some of the vodka & cranberry drink, shuddering at the taste, while waiting for Zack to pick up his call.

"Yo Zack, where are yous all at? I think Lea and me want to go on the piss with you so that you two have some time to sit and talk. Her friend Sonny just came around and offered to take care of Zion."