‹ Prequel: Come Back to Me - It's Almost Easy
The Pain I've Grown to Know
Chapter 14
[3 months later]
"So, when are you leaving for Huntington Beach Lea? Do you need any help packing?"
Sonny asked while tracing the outlines of some tattoo design on blue paper, designated for the next of his clients. Zion was sitting on the couch, pressing around on the keys of his mother's cell phone. Thank God for key guards, otherwise he might have as well made a long distance call to China!
Lea turned to her friend, his question had taken her by surprise.
"What the hell are you talking about? I am not going anywhere!"
She tried to bring some sort of order into the various tattoo magazine and example folders that were spread all over the glass counter.
"Don't play stupid Lea! I hear the way you're talking to Matt on the phone every day. You say you want to take things slow with him, but I can see that you are already in way over your head. You should see your face light up every time you talk to him...I only knew that look on your face whenever you were talking about Zion. You're in love with that guy and I like that look on your face. So I simply assume that you are going to move back to Cali to be with him."
She should have known that she should have taken more care of who was around when she was talking to Matt.
The last 3 months had been sweet pandemonium.
She was deeply moved by the way Zacky made an effort to catch up on everything that was going on in Zion's life. He called every day, usually just before shows, around Zion's bed time, asking her to hold the phone up to Zion's ear so that he could be talking to him a minute or two before Lea put him to sleep. She had so far refused to take any money from him, even though he offered it every day. She insisted, that she had been able to take care of Zion by herself for the past 18 months and that she would gladly accept if she ever came in need of some extra cash. She had taken a lot of photos of Zion. Him on the beach, at the park, at her work and even some, when he had been asleep. All sent to Zack's e-mail address. He passed a lot of them on to his parents. They had been rather surprised about the news that they had a 18 months old grandson in Florida, but once they had seen the first few pictures of the little boy who look so similar to their son, they had been just as excited as he was.
The crushing moments came, when Matt and her were on the phone to each other, both of them craving the other person's warmth near. He was hundreds of miles away and she died a little death every time they finished their calls. She couldn't confess to him how much she loved, missed and needed him, it wouldn't help their current situation as it would only increase their pain. The Warped Tour was about to end in a week's time, and none of them had spoken up about the next time they would meet.
Zacky had already announced weeks ago, that he would fly down to Florida for a few days before heading back home to Huntington Beach.
She heard her cell phone ring from somewhere, as she started her reply to Sonny, her voice's volume to strong to sound comfortable and convincing.
"That's bullshit! Matt and me are just old friends that haven't seen each other in years and we are catching up...that's all! I am not moving to HB!"
The ring tone stopped before she was able to locate her cell anywhere.
"I have heard you cooing to him that you love him on the phone multiple times Lea! Why don't you just admit, that you'd move in with him with the snap of a fucking finger! Just because you're too scared of what Zack will think of your relationship with him? Hell, if that guy still hasn't realized yet what is going on between Matt and you, he's either dumb, or Matt is hiding away like a champ when you two are on the phone with each other. A blind man can see that the two of you are completely crazy for each other!"
Sonny had raised his voice as well, pissed off that lea was trying to talk herself out of what was happening. He hadn't lied: he loved the way she lit up whenever she was on the phone with Matt, but he had helped her through hard times, she should be able to tell him instead of lying to him about her new found love.
"I am sorry Sonny. I'm just...confused I guess. Zacky was my one and everything to the point I left him, and even beyond that day. Especially after I had Zion, I missed Zack like hell, once again, but I was too proud to admit to that fact, I didn't want to come crawling back to him, he would have thought I am trying to pin a kid on him, asking for money. And I was afraid that if I would get in touch with him I'd fall for him again straight away and that our bad history would repeat itself. But when I heard Matt's voice that day in the shop and we talked that evening...I realized that I might have made a mistake by not giving him a second chance and rushing into things with Zack, and I told him that. Old feelings just resurfaced , I couldn't help it! I know that Zack and me have a kid together, but he burnt me one too many times, and I just didn't feel the love in me anymore at all the times we had seen. I love him, but as a friend, as Zion's father! Does it make me a bad mother , that I am in ,love with the best friend of my son's father? Again?"
Sonny walked over and hugged her tightly, pressing a kiss on her forehead.
"Don't be silly! You can't help who you're in love with, and with all the respect to Zack being Zion's father: I would have smacked you if you would have gotten back together with him. As much as I like him as a person, he treated you like shit 3 times...you can't teach an old dog new tricks! And from what I heard, he has been fucking so many different girls in the past year, he's most likely carrying some STD. I liked Matt, he seemed level- headed and he cares about you as it seems. And even though I know you are not willing to admit it to yourself yet, I know that you'll move to Cali sooner or later, and that you'll be missed around here like hell, as will Zion. Just know, that if things don't work out, you'll always have a job here!"
Zion giggled and walked over to his mom, holding the phone up to her. It didn't click, and she just took it from his little hands, somehow glad she had finally found it. She was about to slide it into her messenger bag, as her eyes flew over the screen.
Incoming call duration 5 minutes
Of course, when the cell had rung earlier, he had pressed a button, delighted with the flashing display! And even the key guard was on, a call was accepted with the push of any button. She looked at the display again, unknown number, she placed it near her face.
"Hello?"
She as much as whispered into the mouthpiece, but all she heard was the click of someone disconnecting the phone on the other end.
If it had been someone she'd known, the caller's name would have been displayed. She shrugged her shoulders, pushing the phone into the back pocket of her denim skirt, assuming it must have been someone dialing the wrong number, intrigued by the conversation he or she was being part of.
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Zack put down the receiver of the hotel phone as soon as he heard Lea's 'hello'. He sat on the queen size bed and stared blankly at the TV screen in front of him.
They were in New York. He had wanted to tell her how much he was thinking about her, being in her hometown, especially since they had met up with Sandra and Dave at Duff's the previous night. Dave had relocated to NYC again over a year ago, to take care of the label's business at the East Coast, and because he felt he needed to be there for his sister, she had been in a low ever since Lea had disappeared.
Both of them had thought the guys were having a great joke, telling them that they had sort of bumped into Lea down in Florida, and that Zack was proud father of an 18 months old baby boy, but the pictures he had with him convinced the quickly.
"Hey Z., what's on TV? Can I flip over to the Sports Channel?"
Matt voiced, as him and Johnny walked into the room. Zack looked up to Matt slowly, passing on the remote control without another word, still gazing into open space, not the actual person. Matt took the remote of him, threw himself on the bed and switched to the channel he wanted to watch.
In his mind, Zack was going over everything he had just heard, a conversation that had been private. Emotional. And certainly not for his ears! Lea was deeply in love with Matt. Matt was in love with her. She loved Zack as a friend and her son's father. She wanted to move to Cali. He would be able to see him all the time when he was off tour. He had burnt her too many times for her to feel the love they once had shared.
He wasn't sure if to be mad, happy, sad or thankful. There were so many things and feelings in his body, the only thing he was able to do was turn his body towards Matt, staring at him with empty eyes.
"When were you planning on telling me that you and Lea are in a relationship again and that she wants to move to HB again to be with you?"
"So, when are you leaving for Huntington Beach Lea? Do you need any help packing?"
Sonny asked while tracing the outlines of some tattoo design on blue paper, designated for the next of his clients. Zion was sitting on the couch, pressing around on the keys of his mother's cell phone. Thank God for key guards, otherwise he might have as well made a long distance call to China!
Lea turned to her friend, his question had taken her by surprise.
"What the hell are you talking about? I am not going anywhere!"
She tried to bring some sort of order into the various tattoo magazine and example folders that were spread all over the glass counter.
"Don't play stupid Lea! I hear the way you're talking to Matt on the phone every day. You say you want to take things slow with him, but I can see that you are already in way over your head. You should see your face light up every time you talk to him...I only knew that look on your face whenever you were talking about Zion. You're in love with that guy and I like that look on your face. So I simply assume that you are going to move back to Cali to be with him."
She should have known that she should have taken more care of who was around when she was talking to Matt.
The last 3 months had been sweet pandemonium.
She was deeply moved by the way Zacky made an effort to catch up on everything that was going on in Zion's life. He called every day, usually just before shows, around Zion's bed time, asking her to hold the phone up to Zion's ear so that he could be talking to him a minute or two before Lea put him to sleep. She had so far refused to take any money from him, even though he offered it every day. She insisted, that she had been able to take care of Zion by herself for the past 18 months and that she would gladly accept if she ever came in need of some extra cash. She had taken a lot of photos of Zion. Him on the beach, at the park, at her work and even some, when he had been asleep. All sent to Zack's e-mail address. He passed a lot of them on to his parents. They had been rather surprised about the news that they had a 18 months old grandson in Florida, but once they had seen the first few pictures of the little boy who look so similar to their son, they had been just as excited as he was.
The crushing moments came, when Matt and her were on the phone to each other, both of them craving the other person's warmth near. He was hundreds of miles away and she died a little death every time they finished their calls. She couldn't confess to him how much she loved, missed and needed him, it wouldn't help their current situation as it would only increase their pain. The Warped Tour was about to end in a week's time, and none of them had spoken up about the next time they would meet.
Zacky had already announced weeks ago, that he would fly down to Florida for a few days before heading back home to Huntington Beach.
She heard her cell phone ring from somewhere, as she started her reply to Sonny, her voice's volume to strong to sound comfortable and convincing.
"That's bullshit! Matt and me are just old friends that haven't seen each other in years and we are catching up...that's all! I am not moving to HB!"
The ring tone stopped before she was able to locate her cell anywhere.
"I have heard you cooing to him that you love him on the phone multiple times Lea! Why don't you just admit, that you'd move in with him with the snap of a fucking finger! Just because you're too scared of what Zack will think of your relationship with him? Hell, if that guy still hasn't realized yet what is going on between Matt and you, he's either dumb, or Matt is hiding away like a champ when you two are on the phone with each other. A blind man can see that the two of you are completely crazy for each other!"
Sonny had raised his voice as well, pissed off that lea was trying to talk herself out of what was happening. He hadn't lied: he loved the way she lit up whenever she was on the phone with Matt, but he had helped her through hard times, she should be able to tell him instead of lying to him about her new found love.
"I am sorry Sonny. I'm just...confused I guess. Zacky was my one and everything to the point I left him, and even beyond that day. Especially after I had Zion, I missed Zack like hell, once again, but I was too proud to admit to that fact, I didn't want to come crawling back to him, he would have thought I am trying to pin a kid on him, asking for money. And I was afraid that if I would get in touch with him I'd fall for him again straight away and that our bad history would repeat itself. But when I heard Matt's voice that day in the shop and we talked that evening...I realized that I might have made a mistake by not giving him a second chance and rushing into things with Zack, and I told him that. Old feelings just resurfaced , I couldn't help it! I know that Zack and me have a kid together, but he burnt me one too many times, and I just didn't feel the love in me anymore at all the times we had seen. I love him, but as a friend, as Zion's father! Does it make me a bad mother , that I am in ,love with the best friend of my son's father? Again?"
Sonny walked over and hugged her tightly, pressing a kiss on her forehead.
"Don't be silly! You can't help who you're in love with, and with all the respect to Zack being Zion's father: I would have smacked you if you would have gotten back together with him. As much as I like him as a person, he treated you like shit 3 times...you can't teach an old dog new tricks! And from what I heard, he has been fucking so many different girls in the past year, he's most likely carrying some STD. I liked Matt, he seemed level- headed and he cares about you as it seems. And even though I know you are not willing to admit it to yourself yet, I know that you'll move to Cali sooner or later, and that you'll be missed around here like hell, as will Zion. Just know, that if things don't work out, you'll always have a job here!"
Zion giggled and walked over to his mom, holding the phone up to her. It didn't click, and she just took it from his little hands, somehow glad she had finally found it. She was about to slide it into her messenger bag, as her eyes flew over the screen.
Incoming call duration 5 minutes
Of course, when the cell had rung earlier, he had pressed a button, delighted with the flashing display! And even the key guard was on, a call was accepted with the push of any button. She looked at the display again, unknown number, she placed it near her face.
"Hello?"
She as much as whispered into the mouthpiece, but all she heard was the click of someone disconnecting the phone on the other end.
If it had been someone she'd known, the caller's name would have been displayed. She shrugged her shoulders, pushing the phone into the back pocket of her denim skirt, assuming it must have been someone dialing the wrong number, intrigued by the conversation he or she was being part of.
------------------------------------
Zack put down the receiver of the hotel phone as soon as he heard Lea's 'hello'. He sat on the queen size bed and stared blankly at the TV screen in front of him.
They were in New York. He had wanted to tell her how much he was thinking about her, being in her hometown, especially since they had met up with Sandra and Dave at Duff's the previous night. Dave had relocated to NYC again over a year ago, to take care of the label's business at the East Coast, and because he felt he needed to be there for his sister, she had been in a low ever since Lea had disappeared.
Both of them had thought the guys were having a great joke, telling them that they had sort of bumped into Lea down in Florida, and that Zack was proud father of an 18 months old baby boy, but the pictures he had with him convinced the quickly.
"Hey Z., what's on TV? Can I flip over to the Sports Channel?"
Matt voiced, as him and Johnny walked into the room. Zack looked up to Matt slowly, passing on the remote control without another word, still gazing into open space, not the actual person. Matt took the remote of him, threw himself on the bed and switched to the channel he wanted to watch.
In his mind, Zack was going over everything he had just heard, a conversation that had been private. Emotional. And certainly not for his ears! Lea was deeply in love with Matt. Matt was in love with her. She loved Zack as a friend and her son's father. She wanted to move to Cali. He would be able to see him all the time when he was off tour. He had burnt her too many times for her to feel the love they once had shared.
He wasn't sure if to be mad, happy, sad or thankful. There were so many things and feelings in his body, the only thing he was able to do was turn his body towards Matt, staring at him with empty eyes.
"When were you planning on telling me that you and Lea are in a relationship again and that she wants to move to HB again to be with you?"