Dance With Me in This Rain

"Answer me," Clara said sharply, shutting the door behind her and looking at all of us intently.
We all looked pretty frozen in place. If you'd seen us, you'd probably laugh. And if the situation weren't as serious, I'd laugh too.
But I could feel my insides burning.
She totally heard everything.
"Clara, what's wrong?" Tom asked warily, backing away from her as if he were afraid she'd pounce on him like a wild tigress.
She snorted, shifting her weight to her right leg. "I overheard you guys talking. Unless my ears are deceiving me, I heard that you and Bella are together."
I breathed out, and shot a glance towards Tom, who stood perfectly still. He didn't reply.
Bill, who stayed silent, remained on the edge of the bed.
I could tell he didn't want to be there. Why the hell did Tom drag Bill into this?
I waited for Bill to look at me so that I could tell him he could go, but he wouldn't take his eyes off Clara, who looked royally pissed.
“Can someone please answer me?!” She exclaimed, waving her arms.
"Clara, calm down," I managed to say quietly.
She breathed heavily. "You're together?" She asked me; her voice cracking. "You and Tom?"
I swallowed the lump in my throat before nodding.
Her eyes widened and she looked at me thoughtfully.
"Y-you're kidding, aren't you?" She barked a humorless laugh. "Is this some stupid joke?"
I shook my head guiltily. "No."
She laughed another dry laugh. "I know you're screwing with me."
I sighed, rubbing my forehead.
She was clearly refusing to believe the situation. This isn't gonna be easy.
"Clara, they're not kidding. It's for real," Bill unexpectedly spoke up, and Clara's head shot towards him, staring at him disbelievingly. Her eyes looked like saucers.
"No," She neglected, shaking her head furiously. "No. Bella wouldn't do that."
Shit, here comes the guilt trip.
I closed my eyes and opened them again, feeling the infamous guilt rising up from my stomach.
I wanted to disappear from that room. I wished that a spaceship would just literally crash and land in there and hoped the aliens would abduct me and take me away to their home planet.
Clara was scaring me more than any other hideous creature I could think of.
Reality was manifesting itself right in front of me, biting me in the ass. Cruel reality.
It was just simply irrevocable.
Clara looked at me, expecting me to confirm her speculation. But I didn't. All I did was give her the most guiltiest look one could give after committing something drastic.
She breathed out. "It's true, then?" Her voice came out barely audible, but anyone could understand what she had said.
I looked down in silence.
"Look, Clara. We didn't know this would happen. We didn't know we'd end up...together,” Tom began saying, taking Clara's glare away from me. “But it's true.”
She made a face, looking back and forth at me and Tom.
Then she walked up to me, mantaining strict eye contact. "Why?"
My head slowly lifted and I shrugged. "I don't know. It just happened."
"So you were fucking him behind my back this whole time," She concluded dryly, glaring daggers at me.
I stared at her incredulously. "What?! No, it's not like that, Clara!"
She cackled. "You are unbelievable! I swear, I never took you for a liar, Bella."
My mouth trembled and I could feel the liquid forming in my eyes, but I resisted the urge to cry right in front of them. I wasn't one to pour my tears in front of people, especially Tom and Bill. I wasn't gonna break down. I wouldn't let myself break down.
"She's not lying, Clara!" Tom uttered, coming over to stand next to me. He saw how Clara's words had affected me. He was about to put a hand on my shoulder, but I quickly swatted it away, seeing the look on Clara's face.
"And you!" Clara screeched, pointing her finger in Tom's face. "You lied to me, too!"
He sighed.
"So all this time, I actually felt bad because I didn't know the reason you broke up with me. But now I do....it's Bella! She's the reason, isn't she?!" She shouted. Her face was red with anger; her nostrils were flaring.
Everytime her nostrils flared, she was either really pissed or nervous. I guess she was experiencing both emotions at the same time.
"I thought we were best friends," She sneered at me.
I looked at her pleadingly. "We are."
She shook her head. "No, we're not. Best friends don't lie to each other. And they certainly don't screw their best friends over like you screwed me over!"
My stupid tears streaked down my cheeks as I could no longer hold them in. I just let her dump all her anger on me. I guess I pretty much deserved it.
I hid my face behind my hair, noticing Tom and Bill staring at me. They had never seen me cry but I just couldn't hold the tears in. It was like they refused to stay inside my eyes.
"Clara, stop!" Bill shouted, taking her by the shoulders.
She immediately pushed him away, and continued staring at me and Tom; her eyes just radiating anger.
"Were you fucking her when we were together?" She questioned Tom.
"Oh my God," I mumbled, walking away from her and Tom.
How the hell could she ask that?
"What?! Of course not!" Tom argued. "Clara, you have to understand. I liked you but-"
"But it just wasn't enough, was it?" She cut him off, laughing dryly. "Stupid me."
Tom sighed frustratingly. "Clara, you have no idea what Bella and I went through. You have no idea what I feel for her. You were a good friend and you still are," He managed to say calmly.
She stared intently at him, trying to take in each word that bounced off his mouth. She then regained her posture.
She cleared her throat, preparing herself to unload more accusations, which in my case, were true.
"She saw how screwed up I was the day you broke up with me, Tom. She actually advised me to find another guy. Now I know why," She said; her voice cracking again. "She wanted me to forget you just so she could have you all to herself!" Her angry glare caught hold of my eyes once again.
More pathetic tears streamed down my cheeks and I didn't have any strength to argue back. I felt uselessly weak.
"That's not true," Tom stated, still remaining his calm. "I already liked her since before we went out."
Clara froze in place, and the room suddenly fell silent. My heart pounded acceleratedly, and Bill kept throwing me sympathetic looks, which weren't much of a help.
I was ready to make a run for it. I couldn't stand being there.
"You fucking asshole!" Clara then shouted, pushing Tom fiercely, making him stumble back. "Then why the hell did you go out with me?!"
Tom didn't answer.
"Oh, I know. Because you wanted to make her jealous, right? You used me," She hissed. "You fucking used me." Then, all of a sudden, she started throwing punches at his chest.
"I didn't use you, Clara. I just thought that if we went out, I'd forget her!" He started to explain, shielding himself with his arms. But his explanation may as well have fallen on deaf ears. Clara wasn't buying it one bit.
"You son of a bitch!" She spat, giving him another fierce shove.
She then averted her eyes to me. And let me just say that if looks could kill, I'd be dead right there on the floor. I had never seen Clara so angry. Her look seriously frightened me.
"Of all the things I thought you were capable of, Bella, I didn't know lying and cheating were on your list," She sputtered; her hands shaking.
"Clara." My voice came out hoarse. My vision was all blurry, due to the salty liquid pouring from my eyes.
"I'm sorry we kept this from you," I said weakly.
She crossed her arms. "You cheated on me with my best friend," She told Tom, ignoring my apology. "And you had the nerve to lie to me. I felt like shit for days but you still kept lying." She threw me another glare.
"Clara, I fucked up. I know, but-" I began saying, hoping she'd hear me out.
"Don't talk to me anymore," She said, through clenched teeth. "We're done being friends."
I sniffed, as more tears came swimming down my cheeks.
This is exactly what you thought was gonna happen. Just leave, Bella.
I wanted to fight with my conscience, even though I knew it was wrong.
How could I leave?
But I couldn't bear to stay there any longer. And that was why I began grabbing my shoes and my jacket.
Bill and Tom watched me incredulously.
"Bella? Bella, what are you doing?" Bill questioned cautiously, as he jumped off the bed and followed me towards the door.
I turned around to look at him. Tom came over to me, leaving Clara standing alone.
Of course she wasn't gonna stop me from leaving. I bet she wanted that.
I didn't answer Bill, as I opened the door. Unfortunately, I didn't get too far, because I felt Tom grabbing me by the arm and yanking me next to him.
"Let go," I said weakly, not wanting to make any eye contact.
"No!" He said firmly. "Don't leave, Bella. Don't walk away from your problems."
I laughed dryly, wiping my tears away.
"I told you this would happen," I whispered, shrugging into my jacket.
"Belle, please. Where are you going?" Bill asked worridly, coming up to us.
"Just don't follow me. Both of you," Was all I said, before releasing myself from Tom's grip and turning my back on them. Tom started going after me again, but Bill pulled him back forcefully.
"What the fuck are you doing?! Let me go after her!" Tom yelled at his brother.
"She wants to be alone, Tom! Just let her," Bill said, as he struggled to hold a grip on Tom.
"Bella!" Tom kept yelling after me. I ignored him.
I continued walking straight ahead, towards the elevators.
I knew how utterly stupid I was being at that moment. I was -just like Tom had said- walking away from my problems.
I didn't know where I was going. I knew I wouldn't get far, though. It wasn't like I was going to the airport and just simply jump a plane back to New York.
I wanted to be alone. Away from everybody I knew, even if it were for a little while.
I had lost my best friend. Why did I lie? Why did I keep this from her for so long?
Everything Clara had said to me made me think. It made me realize how much of a selfish human being I really was.

____

Tom's Point Of View

"Of all the things I thought you were capable of, Bella, I didn't know lying and cheating were on your list," Clara said; her hands shaking madly at her side.
"Clara," Bella said, in a hoarse voice.
I knew how she felt. I knew how Clara's words affected her. I mean, they were best friends. Bella cared too much about hurting Clara's feelings, that she didn't even realize she was hurting her own.
Clara was a good person and all, but she was so blind sometimes. She had no idea what Bella would do just to make her happy.
I always wondered why Bella was like that. Always worried about what others would think; always cautious about other people's feelings.
"I'm sorry we kept this from you," Bella said weakly; the hurt must've been lodged in her throat. I had never seen her like this. I wish I didn't have to see her like this.
Clara crossed her arms, then she turned to look at me.
"You cheated on me with my best friend," She hissed. "And you had the nerve to lie to me. I felt like shit for days but you still kept lying."
She then glared at Bella again.
"Clara, I fucked up. I know, but-" Bella began saying, but Clara cut her off by putting a hand in front of her.
"Don't talk to me anymore," She said through clenched teeth. "We're done being friends."
My eyes widened. Did she really just say that?
I watched as Bella looked down, crying silently.
I was physically shocked.
Before I could say anything, I saw Bella suddenly walking over to the couch and grabbing her converses along with a jacket. Bill too was watching her in disbelief.
"Bella? Bella, what are you doing?" Bill quickly asked, jumping off the bed and following her towards the door. I too followed, and Bella turned around to look at us.
I couldn't really read her face. She looked angry and sad and probably confused at the same time. It was just one of those expressions you couldn't figure out.
Clara was left standing alone. She didn't do anything.
Bella didn't answer, as she turned back around and opened the door, walking away.
I shook my head and didn't think twice before going after her and grabbing her arm. I pulled her next to me.
“Let go,” She said weakly but firmly, avoiding eye contact with me.
"No!" I exclaimed. "Don't leave, Bella. Don't walk away from your problems."
She laughed humorlessly, wiping some of her tears away.
"I told you this would happen," She whispered, putting on her jacket.
I frowned, still holding onto her.
"Belle, please. Where are you going?" Bill asked worridly, as he reached us.
"Just don't follow me. Both of you," She uttered, pulling away from me and turning her back on us.
Hell no, I'm not just gonna let her leave.
I started going after her again, but I suddenly felt my brother pulling me back.
I glared at him. "What the fuck are you doing?! Let me go after her!"
"She wants to be alone, Tom! Just let her," Bill said calmly, as he struggled to hold a grip on me.
I shook my head furiously.
"Bella!" I kept yelling, but it was no use. She was ignoring me.
Once the elevator had arrived, she went in. Not looking back.
“What the hell is she doing? Why is she leaving?” I sputtered, mostly to myself, as Bill still hung onto me.
Bill sighed. “She'll be back, Tom. You don't have to worry.”
“How can I not be worried? Where the hell is she gonna go?! She doesn't know her way around!” I snapped, feeling the panic.
Bill wheeled me around, so that I was face to face with him; his hands firmly laid on my shoulders.
“She's not stupid, all right? And besides, she won't go too far, trust me. She's probably gonna hang out in the lobby all day and then come back up.”
I breathed in and out loudly a few times, and relaxed a little. “Well if she's in the lobby, I can still catch her.”
Bill sighed again, shaking his head. “I told you, she wants to be alone. I know her,” He stated.
I frowned. “So do I.”
I yanked myself away from him and walked back to Bella and Clara's room, spotting Clara, who was sitting on the edge of her bed.
I turned my hands into balled fists, as I stood in the doorway.
Yeah, I was angry. Who wouldn't be in my situation?
I began walking towards her, slowly. She seemed to have sensed someone was behind her, and turned around, revealing her tear stained cheeks.
“See what you did?” I spat, and her eyes widened for a second.
She looked down, ignoring me without an answer.
“None of this was her fault,” I said.
I heard her snort. “You're right. It was yours, too.”
She got up from the bed, burying her face in her hands as she paced the room.
Soon, Bill walked in and stared at Clara, who hadn't said another word. He threw me a sympathetic glance, which made me roll my eyes.
Screw the sympathy, Bill.
“You knew about this, didn't you?” Clara asked, minutes later, as her eyes laid on Bill.
He just nodded.
“Do Georg and Gustav know?” She asked hesitantly.
“Yeah,” I answered quietly. “They know.”
She bit her lip, pulling her hair back nervously, and became silent.
Bill and I just stood next to each other, not knowing what else to say.
“Where'd she go?” Clara whispered, not looking at us.
I glanced over at Bill then back at Clara. “We don't know.”
She sniffed. She opened her mouth, as if wanting to say something more, but nothing came out. Then she just sighed and looked back down.
I shoved my hands in my pockets and began walking out of the room, motioning for Bill to follow. He did, and once we were out of the room and in the hall, I shut the door, leaving Clara inside. She looked like she needed time to think, and so that's what we gave her.
A lot of time. That way, she'd realize how she screwed things up with Bella.
“What do we do now?” Bill asked quietly.
I shrugged, leaning my back against the wall and crossing my arms.
Bill mimicked my actions.
“What do you think's gonna happen when she comes back?” He questioned.
I sighed. “I don't know.”
He nodded. “What if she decides to leave?”
I frowned and looked at him. “Why? Do you think she's gonna wanna leave? You think she's gonna wanna go back to New York?” I started panicking again, and Bill just raised an eyebrow at me.
“Dude, I didn't say that,” He stated.
“But it's a possibility, isn't it?” I whispered, looking down. “She's gonna leave. She's gonna leave us. She's gonna leave me.”
Bill shook his head. “Don't be so dramatic, Tom. She's not gonna do that.”
“How do you know?!” I snapped.
Bill sighed, biting his lower lip. “I just do.”
I snorted. “My brother, the psychic.”
Bill rolled his eyes at me.
I leaned my head on the wall, exhaling loudly.
I remembered telling Bella she had changed me. Because she really did. I've only had one serious girlfriend in my whole life, and our relationship was confusing as hell. She'd get mad at me for being away from her for so long. She didn't understand that I couldn't be with her 24/7 because of my touring. Then I realized, the chick wasn't worth all the trouble.
After we broke it off, I decided that being in serious relationships just wasn't worth any of the confusion and arguments.
That's when the one night stands became a lifestyle.
To me, it was harmless. I would always get what I want. One night of pleasure and after, I wouldn't have to see the girl's face for the rest of my life.
It was perfect.
That is, until I met Bella.
I didn't really like her at first, but somehow, I found myself thinking about her a lot, even when we were away touring. Bill seemed more connected with her than any of us and that bothered me.
I knew she was different. She wasn't the one night stand type of chick. She was real.
When we started going out, I knew we'd have problems. But what struck me most about being with her was the fact that I didn't care about any of that. I was willing to be confused again, just like in my last relationship. I was willing to be fully committed to that one girl.
She was definitely worth the trouble.
Truth was, she made me happy. She made me angry. She made me sad. She made me confused. She made me everything I never thought I'd be.
Now, for instance, she made me mad and sad at the same time. And I hated when those two emotions mixed.