Counting Your Face Among the Living

Mikey's POV

My name is Michael James Way, and as I sit in my front yard letting the rain fall on me I keep thinking about how Frank Iero used to be my best friend. That all changed when I told him I was in love with him. I didn't tell him I was bisexual, all I told him was that I was in love with him. After those words came tumbling out of my mouth his face went pale and he walked out of my door without a word spoken back to me.

Now I'm left alone feeling guilty because he's gone. I try to avoid him, and his new choice in friends. I would skip school so I wouldn't end up having to see him in school, but I can't let my grades drop or get anyone suspicious as to who I was avoiding and why. No one else knows about my misfortune besides us, and hopefully it'll stay that way. He hasn't told anyone, that I know of, and I haven't told anyone either.

Speaking of not telling anyone, I haven't even told the one person who I can trust more than anyone. Gerard. I haven't spoken much to him in the past few weeks. After everything happened I haven't spoken to many people. I stay quiet in school, I talk to my parent's and friends when they directly talk to me. I don't eat at the table with my family, instead I go to my room and spend time with my action figures, comic books, and everything else in my room.

Frankie still comes to our house. Even though he hangs out with another crowd at school he still talks to Ray, Gerard, and Matt. His new choice in friends are no other than the High School jocks. They of course don't like the fact that I'm just...me I guess. I'm the comic book reading, unicorn loving nerd. I guess Frankie doesn't mind if they hurt me anymore. Being as I am stuck with a blue cast wrapped around my left arm, I guess not.

I just can't picture Frank hating me because of how I feel about him. He's never been one to judge. I guess when it's about him, his mood changes. I hate the feeling that I get when I think of him. I hate the feeling of jealousy towards my friends when they get the opportunity to talk to him. And I hate the feeling of being to much of a pansy to get my self together and forget about him, if it's even possible. I could at least try. Couldn't I?

I guess you never forget your first love, and Frankie was that. And I'll always love him. Even if he hates me for it.