Passion in My Eyes, Ice in My Veins

“Leslie, come on. Come out, please.” Cassandra sighed and she jiggled the doorknob.

She was standing outside the door with Matt. They’ve been there for at least an hour, trying to get me to come out. Of course I wouldn’t.

One. I was completely embarrassed. I thought Matt was going to propose. He didn’t.

Two. I could barely move. My feet hurt so bad, and the baby was weighing me down.

“Leslie, seriously,” Matt said as he knocked on the door. “Open the door.”

“No,” I mumbled into my pillow as I looked up at the ceiling from my bed.

It got quiet. Too quiet. It was slightly eerie. I didn’t hear Cassandra groaning or twisting the knob, or Matt banging on the door. I looked around my room, not liking the silence. It just made thoughts even louder.

All of a sudden, my window opened, rather violently. I almost fell out of my bed since I was taken by surprise. I sat up, or at least tried to, and saw Matt climb through my window. No. No. No. Go away!

I instantly looked down at my lap. I couldn’t stand to look at him. Every time I did, I was just reminded of him NOT proposing. Ouch.

“Leslie. Why wouldn’t you unlock your door?” He asked standing in front of me.

I heard a muffled, ’Guys, let me in!’ come from the other side of the door. Apparently Matt wasn’t going to let Cassandra in until him and I talked.

“Just go, Matt.” I sighed, hugging my pillow.

“Tell me what is wrong. Cassandra won’t tell me. Do you not want me to leave or something? Since I asked if you would be mad, you’ve been ignoring me.” He was confused.

I stared at the ground. How do I tell him I thought he was going to propose? He would just get mad at himself, and feel guilty. I didn’t want to see him upset. Handling me being upset was already hard enough. I don’t know what I’d do if Matt frowned.

“Leslie!” Matt walked over and made me look at him. “Say something!”

I gasped a little at how aggravated he looked. My eyes began to tear up instantly, and his face slowly softened. He couldn’t stand to see me upset either.

He sighed and dropped my chin then walked away to the other side of the room with his hands on his hips, in deep thought.

I hiccupped a little from the growing lump in my throat. I had to tell him. But how am I supposed to say it nicely?

Oh, just thought you were going to ask me if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. No biggie.

Hah. Yeah right.

I gulped as I looked up at Matt’s backside. I had to tell him. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.

Matt was frustrated. He had no idea what was going on. He walked back to the window. “Fine, I’ll leave.” He started to open it, but my insides jumped.

“I thought you were going to propose,” I blurted out quietly.

Matt froze and slowly looked over at me. His expression was pained. I knew it hurt him to hear me so upset, and to see me like this. But I knew it hurt him a great deal more since it was his fault.

He sighed and looked down. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. “Leslie,” he sighed, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have made it seem like I was going to.”

“Don’t worry about it.” My voice broke as I spoke. I couldn’t believe I just told Matt not to worry about it. It’s not like he’d listen to me anyways.

“Don’t say that.” he sighed heavily then sat next to me on the bed. “Leslie, I feel awful.” He placed his hand gently on my knee as I stared at the ground.

“I shouldn’t have expected it.” I shrugged. “I just noticed you were acting super sweet and stuff since you got home. I thought you were going to propose sooner or later. I figured now would have been a good time.”

Matt sighed and pulled me into his arms. “I still feel like shit.”

“Don’t.” I shook my head. “it’s okay.”

“No it’s not.” He shook his head. “You’re upset and I’m the reason.” Another sigh escaped his lips.

“Matt,” I looked up at him, straight in the eye, “I’m just glad you’re mine. I don’t need a fancy ring to prove it. I know it. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I do. I’m just happy that I have you. I don’t care about anything else.”

Matt couldn’t hold back his smile. He leaned down and pressed his lips to my forehead. “I’m glad you’re mine, too. I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

I snuggled up to his chest. “Me either.” I shook my head. “Me either.”

“DID YOU TWO MAKE UP YET?!” Cassandra banged on the door.

Matt and I both jumped then laughed when we remembered she was still outside of the room. “Yeah,” Matt called out to her.

“About time! Now come out, Leslie. We need to go shopping.” She banged on the door then walked away.

Matt looked at me with a confused expression. “You’re going shopping?”

“My shirts don’t fit.” I pointed to my bump and he laughed, seeing my shirt was riding up my belly.

“Can I come?” He asked quietly as I tried to get up. He got up and helped me.

“Yeah.” I nodded. “If you want. I know you hate shopping.”

“I do.” He shrugged. “But I want to be with you.”

“Cut the crap and lets go.” I joked with him and waddled to the door.

Matt grabbed me by my wrist and pulled me to him and kissed me softly. After a while he pulled away. “I love you.”

I melted. “I love you too.”