The Fueled By Ramen Analysis

“Coffee Bean or parents’ house first?” I asked Pete after we had dropped the guys off.

“Lets get your clothes first. I’m still pretty full and helping you pack might clear some room in my stomach,” he answered, patting his belly.

“That’s good to know I guess,” I laughed like a normal person.

“Hey you asked, I answered,” he defended. “Now start driving!”

I obeyed his order while trying to think of a way to approach the subject of what happened at IHOP. But he beat me to the punch.

“So you said you wanted to talk earlier…?”

“Well yeah. You know what happened today… that’s not the first time it’s happened. And I know you know that,” I said, never taking my eyes off the road. “You always seem to find a way to stop other guys from openly flirting and or checking me out in public places. I didn’t see you stopping Brendon earlier this morning. It’s just… why?”

Pete sighed and looked out his window. He then took a deep breath and began to explain.

“May, you’re more than a best friend to me. You’re like the little sister I never had and when I see someone I don’t know looking at you… something inside me starts exploding and I just get this impulse to stop it. I’ve been trying to control it, but it takes over me and I can’t really do anything about it. Brendon or any of those guys I know wouldn’t hurt you. At least they better not if they had the chance to. I can trust my life with them so I know for sure that any flirting they do with you and vice versa will just be harmless. But to any guys out there… you never know what they can do to you. I can’t always be there to protect you Chelsea May, and if you ever got hurt because of a guy I let you go with… then I wouldn’t stop beating myself up for it. I hope you can at least understand where I’m coming from. I know I might over exaggerate but that’s just me. I’m an over the top guy. When I do something it has to be big. But you know what I’ve just realized? I’ve been trying to protect guys from hurting you but all this time, I’ve hurt you little by little. I saw the look in your eyes today. You were hurt by my actions; to anyone else it would seem that you were just mad. But I know you and that wasn’t really anger. You would have screamed at me at the top of your lungs or thrown something at me, but you looked me in the eyes, told me what I am, and walked away,” Pete said, his voice cracking. “Do you know how much it hurt to hear the truth about myself from someone who I care so much about?”

My vision became blurred with the tears building up at the rims of my eyes. I took the next exit and parked the car on one of the streets in a residential area.

“Pete, I may have meant those words at the time, but I can guarantee you 99.9% of the time you are not a jerk,” I said, choking up. “Don’t ever think that you’ve hurt me cause to be honest you did exactly what you intended on doing, you protected me. I now understand your side of the story and it all makes sense now. You’re my fucking best friend. We’re allowed to have a few bumps in the road and an argument here and there. But I have faith that we’ll never directly hurt each other emotionally. And if we ever do it’s intentionally. Best friend, our friendship is fucking invincible, nothing can stop us. You know all those corny, cheesy clichés out there for friends? We fit all of them.”

“We do, don’t we?” he grinned, breaking out of his depressed mood.

“Hell yes we do!” I laughed.

“So you truly believe in everything that you just said right now?” Pete asked.

“With all my heart,” I smiled foolishly.

“Well Patrick told me something that really got to me while you were taking a shower today…” Pete trailed off.

“He did? What’d he say?” I asked, my smile faltering. I then wondered what Patrick had to say on Pete and mine’s friendship.

“Well he said you were talking in your sleep last night and he said you were crying,” Pete said, looking worried.

“I was?” I asked, confused. I didn’t remember any of this. “Anything else?”

“Umm he said… he said that you kept repeating over and over again that once I get married things between us will never be the same,” Pete said reluctantly. “May May do you really believe that?”

“I… I… I… yes,” I stuttered, looking away. “Marriage changes people and I know this sounds selfish but you might not have any time in your busy schedule for me. You’re already busy as is and once you get married you’ll be at a whole new level of responsibility and well… I’m just scared that I might lose my best friend.”

“Chelsea don’t say that! If I don’t have time for you I’ll fucking make some for you! Ashlee knows how close we are and she’s fine with our friendship. Don’t worry May, we’ll continue to be best friends until the end of time. Like you said we’re fucking invincible!” Pete exclaimed.

“Promise?” I whispered, feeling vulnerable like a child.

“Cross my heart and hope to die,” he responded, doing the hand gesture.

“I love you best friend,” I mumbled into his chest after pulling him in for a hug.

“I love you too,” he said, stroking my hair. “You ready to go get clothes?”

“Yeah,” I said, breaking our hug to turn the engine back on.

“Is it just me or did that whole conversation feel like it came straight from one of those cheesy fanfics your fans love to write about you?” I asked, driving back onto the freeway.

“Nahh, if it came straight from one of those one or both of us would have confessed our undying love for the other,” he laughed. “Unless you have something to tell me… I think we’re in the clear.”

“I don’t love you like Ashlee does, only in my nightmares would I ever do that,” I joked.

“So any other bands you failed to mention that are joining in the chaos in the next few weeks?” I asked, changing the subject.

“Actually, now that you mention it… the boys from The Cab are coming over one of these days and Cobra will be here next week I think,” Pete said, leaning his head to the left in thought. “I think that’s about it. The rest of them are going to stay at a hotel a few nights before… why?”

“Pete!” I exclaimed. “Where are they all going to fit?! Five bands under one roof? Where will I sleep?”

“Simple… my band will sleep in what’s now Patrick’s room. The boys in Panic will sleep in the den. TAI will sleep in one of the available rooms. When the guys from The Cab drive down here they’ll take the last room and since Cobra’s last they’ll be stuck with the living room. As for you, you get to pick who you want to crash with. You can even take turns and have a new experience every night. Wait… that sounded wrong. Well you know what I mean. So yeah…” Pete answered.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I grumbled, taking the exit to my parents’ house.

“I kid you not, “ he grinned. “Aren’t you excited? You’ve been bothering me to introduce you to The Cab since I signed them! In your words they make beautiful music for such young guys.”

“I so did not say that,” I defended. “And yes, I’m excited to meet them and Cobra too but still your house is going to be chaotic.”

“Tell me a time when it wasn’t,” he said seriously.

I nodded sympathetically, parking on my parents’ driveway.

“Let’s get this over and done with, I want my Coffee Bean,” I said, getting out of the car and walking up the pathway to the front door. “Mom, dad, I’m home!”

“The door’s unlocked!” my little sister Lauren hollered from inside.

I opened the door and walked in with Pete at my heels.

“Lauren, where’s mom and dad?” I asked her upon finding her in the kitchen making herself a nutella sandwich.

“Dad’s not here and mom’s in her room I think. Hey Pete!” the twelve year old beamed.

“Hey kiddo!” Pete smiled back, walking up to her and giving her a hug. “How’ve you been?”

“Good, summer vacation’s soon. So I’m not complaining,” she answered, biting into her sandwich.

“I have an idea. Why don’t you come over to Chicago for a week or two during your vacation and we can go to as many shows as possible and visit the Clandestine store? How does that sound?” Pete asked, crouching down to her level.

“Amazing!” she squealed.

“Hey I didn’t agree to this,” I said, wanting to add my input.

“It’s not needed,” Lauren remarked.

Pete high-fived her and I glared at the both of them before going up the stairs to find my mother.

“Mom? Are you in here?” I asked, poking my head into her bedroom.

“Yes I am,” her sweet voice answered. “Come in.”

I obliged and began to tell her of my new temporary living arrangements and how once the wedding was over I’d have a few days before leaving for Chicago. She nodded in understandment and told me how much she would miss me. After saying the only logical response, I told her that I was off to pack some of my clothes.

I walked into the room that had been mine’s for most of my childhood. A lot of memories flooded into my mind but I blocked them from really getting to me. I didn’t want to cry, not yet anyways. I grabbed my old duffel bag from when I was on the volleyball team in high school and began to place underwear, bras, and socks at the bottom. I then grabbed a bunch of tank tops and shirts and stuffed them into the bag. I decided against bringing any hoodies due to the ones that I had already accumulated because of Pete that were already at his house and began packing pairs of shorts and jeans. I then grabbed another huge duffel bag from when I was in dance during elementary and placed about five sundresses in there.

“Formal wear. You need formal wear,” Pete mumbled from behind me.

I looked over at him and saw him munching on a nutella sandwich. He held it out for me and I took a bite before asking him what I would need formal wear for.

“Stuff,” he said. “You never know what might happen.”

I rolled my eyes at his answer and went back to my closet where a bunch of other dresses were located. I picked three and carefully placed them in the bag with the sundresses.

“Anything else I should be packing?” I asked.

“Swimwear, duhh,” he replied.

I sighed before going to one of my drawers and taking out three different swimsuits and a pair of boardshorts. Before he could think of anything else for me to pack I quickly replied, “That’s all I’m packing when I’m coming to clothes. If I need anything else I’ll just come back. Now it’s time for my babies.”

This time I grabbed my rolling suitcase and brought it to the hallway. I then opened up the off-white cabinets to reveal my shoe collection. I wasn’t like other girls who had high heels in every color or chucks or even Van’s. My collection consisted of mostly Nike Dunks and AF1s in every colorway I could get my hands on. I probably owned only three pairs of flats, one pair of thick-strapped Rainbow’s, and two pairs of heels. I grabbed my white flats, Rainbow’s, black heels, and then grabbed the box containing my pair of black and white Air Force 1 Mid’s. After I shut my eyes and grabbed two other boxes at random and saw that my hands had landed on my custom Hello Kitty Dunks and my Dunkle’s.

“Lowkey shoehead,” Pete coughed.

I shoved him lightly and placed my choices carefully into the suitcase.

“Grab my other bags please while I say bye to my mom,” I told him.

He did what was asked of him and I said bye to my mom. We then ventured out and into my car.

“Coffee Bean time!” I grinned.

“Yipeee,” he said unenthusiastically.

I merely just stuck my tongue out at him and proceeded to drive to the nearest Coffee Bean.