The Fueled By Ramen Analysis

“She’s sleeping with us tonight!” argued Michael Guy.

“No, she’s sleeping with us!” disagreed Spencer.

“We knew her the longest, so she gets to stay with us!” Joe fought.

I shook my head as all three bands continued to fight with each other for the right to have me sleep in the same room as them.

“Does my opinion matter in all this?” I asked no one in particular.

“NO!” they all replied save for Jon, Ryan, Adam, Will, and Patrick. They had said yes.

As the boys continued to argue I motioned for the ones that had said yes to stand next to me. They obliged and were soon crowded around me.

“Boys!” I yelled, getting everyone’s attention. “There are three extra rooms and the den and there’s only three bands here. Each band will stay in their respective room or den -in Panic’s case- while these boys right here and I will sleep in the leftover room. I don’t want to hear any complaining; that’s what you get for being insensitive and unwilling to listen to my opinion. Let’s roll boys.”

“Woah, you totally just sounded like a mom right now,” Sisky pointed out as we walked up the stairs to the unclaimed room.

“It’s not my fault you guys act like children,” I said.

“Not us though, right?” asked Ryan.

“Not as much as the other guys,” I answered, jumping onto the king-sized bed. “I call this!”

“I call it too!” beamed Sisky, joining me.

“Us too!” chorused Ryan and Will as they let themselves fall onto the bed.

“You guys, I feel bad. What about Jon and Patty?” I asked, lifting my head from one of the many pillows to see Jon and Patrick fixing a makeshift bed for themselves on the floor.

“Umm we could switch with them?” Adam suggested. “Half the night we sleep on the bed here with you, half the night they stay here. It’s a win/win situation for you. You stay on the bed the whole time.”

“If you guys are down for it then I’m down,” I said, looking over at Patrick and Jon.

“Sounds good,” smiled Jon, fluffing up a pillow.

“Yeah,” Patrick agreed.

“So I bid you adieu for now boys; I must go and change into something sleep friendly, I suggest you do the same,” I said, getting off the bed.

I walked back into the room clad in my hello kitty shorts and white tank top only to find them all still in their tight jeans and various band tees having a pillow fight.

“Why aren’t you guys changed yet?” I asked as they all dropped their pillows.

“Chelsea you silly goose, we can get changed in a flash, just watch. On the count of three boys, one… two… three!” Adam exclaimed. And with that the guys unzipped their pants and stripped down to their boxers and grinned madly at me. “All done!”

“Speak for yourself,” Will said, lifting up his shirt but then bringing it back down again. “Wait, no. Sorry folks, this ain’t skinemax!”

He looked around, seeing if he could get any reaction from someone but everyone just stared at him expressionless.

“Bill, it was funny the first time, but after that it just gets older and older,” Sisky finally said, rolling his eyes.

“You’re just jealous that girls don’t want your bod like they do with mine,” joked Will, trying to lift up his own self-esteem. “But if you really feel that way, I’ll stop saying it.”

“Wait…”I said, feeling amused. “You say that line a lot?”

“Yes!” all the boys answered as Will rubbed his neck nervously.

“Anyways,” his melodic voice said. “Attack!”

And in a matter of seconds all the guys lunged towards me. I quickly sprinted out of the room and down the stairs. I closed Pete’s “humble closet” as I ran, buying me some time to look for another hiding place downstairs. I ran to the den where Spencer and Brendon were arranging their sleeping bags and comforters for optimal comfort.

“Help me hide and I’ll forget about everything you guys did today,” I bargained hurriedly.

They looked at each other and nodded.

“Get in here!” Spencer whispered, zipping up his sleeping bag.

“No, dude. Your’s smells bad! She should hide in mine,” Brendon argued, opening his up.

I quickly jumped into Brendon’s Batman sleeping bag and he zipped it up as they both dragged me to the top of their makeshift comforter bed. I then felt pillows being placed on top of me as Spencer explained his plan.

“Okay, so right now it looks like we’re using Bren’s sleeping bag as an extra long, extra comfy pillow. It doesn’t look suspicious at all but no matter what happens, do not move or laugh, we’ll try to hold them off as much as possible, you got it?”

“Mhm,” I responded, breathing through my nose to create minimal noise.

Both Spencer and Brendon laid their heads on my body as footsteps approached the den.

“Yo, have you guys seen Chelsea May anywhere?” I heard Ryan ask the boys.

“No dude. What happened?” asked Spencer, turning his head.

“The other guys and I planned um something for her but she left when she knew something was up,” Ryan responded.

“Sorry man, she’s not here. We’ll tell you if we hear or see any sign of her,” Brendon said, trying to get Ryan to leave.

“Alright man, goodnight,” Ryan said.

“Night,” Brendon and Ryan said.

After a few moments passed Spence whispered that the coast was clear. As he said that, Brendon dug his head more into my stomach. I didn’t pay it too much attention as I slowly unzipped my hiding place and poked my head out. I looked out and zipped it back up again, hoping that none of them had seen me. I squeezed my eyes shut as my heart beat faster, knowing what was about to come.

Spencer, you fucking whore

“Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea. Why’d you have to run away?” Will asked, his voice getting closer with every word.

Within seconds, the sleeping bag was quickly opened to reveal Will, Adam, Patrick, Ryan, and Jon surrounding me. I immediately stuck out my legs and struck them all down with my death calves from when I used to play volleyball. I then sprinted once again away from them and up the stairs deciding to go to my last resort. I found myself outside of Pete and Ashlee’s room.

“If you guys are doing anything rated R in there or up, I don’t care, I’m coming in!” I shouted, opening the door and quickly running over to their bed and jumping in between them. “Protect me, please!”

I got under the covers as Pete sighed.

“What happened now?”

“Your stupid labelmates plotting against me, that’s what!” I said as footsteps could be heard climbing up the stairs.

“Excuse me Pete, we need to borrow Chelsea May,” Adam said sweetly, coming in through the open door.

“What for?” Ashlee asked, holding onto me.

“Oh… we just wanted to give her a goodnight kiss and tell her we surrender,” Ryan answered a little too nicely.

“I don’t believe you,” Ashlee and I said at the same time as I held onto her tighter.

“Go for it boys,” Pete smirked, getting up from the bed leaving my right side totally open.

At once, all three bands seemed to find their way into Pete’s room and began tickling me.

“You, bastards!” I cried out in between giggles as their large hands tried finding my ticklish spot.

“Ashlee too! Ashlee too!” Pete said, going for his fiancé.

And there it was Ashlee and I screaming for our dear lives as we were getting tickled courtesy of Fall Out Boy, Panic at the Disco, and The Academy Is…

“Not there! Not there!” I pleaded as Joe remembered that my weak spot was at my back. Any unexpected touch could bring me to the floor, laughing.

Someone’s strong arms flipped me over and the tickling commenced on my back.

“Pete, you fucker!” Ashlee screamed from right next to me.

“You guys…” I panted, my stomach hurting from all the laughing. “Can you quit it now? It hurts all over.”

They stopped, realizing that Ashlee and I weren’t having fun anymore.

“We’re sorry,” they apologized. “We took it too far. Forgive us?”

We nodded after having no energy from laughing too much.

“Come on, let’s take you to bed,” Will said, lifting me up from the bed and into his arms.

“Adam! Take your arms off of her right now!” I heard Jon whisper a little too loudly, awakening me from my slumber.

I did indeed feel a pair of arms wrapped around my body but I chose not to make my conscious-self known. I kept my eyes shut and my breathing regular as I strained my ears to hear their conversation.

“I would if I could but we don’t know if she’s a light sleeper. She might wake up if I do that and we all know she’s capable of speaking her mind,” Sisky said with what sounded like a smile in his voice.

“That’s what you said when we had to switch last night,” Jon pointed out.

“Yeah, I know. But it’s true,” he responded.

“You’re just loving this aren’t you?” Will playfully asked.

“We all know the answer to that,” I heard Patrick say. “Come on, let’s go make a breakfast pizza or something for everyone. Adam can stay here and keep May company.”

“Peetz?” Adam asked from right next to me. “You’re going to eat peetz without me?”

“Quit your whining, we’ll save you some peetz,” Ryan said. “Let’s leave them alone. I don’t want Chelsea May knowing I had any part of this. She might threaten to castrate me again.”

“Yeah, we should go,” I heard Patrick say as they walked out the door.

Sisky sighed in contentment and held my middle a little tighter, pulling me closer to his body. It didn’t feel uncomfortable at all and I had no trouble falling back asleep.