The Fueled By Ramen Analysis

My duffel bag bumped into my hip over and over again as I walked across the lobby of the hotel and towards the rest of the group. While walking I took in the whole place and could only describe it in one word, magnificent. The high-ceilinged lobby was brightly lit by three chandeliers of various sizes and the Victorian style tiled floor was so shiny I felt as if I was close enough, I could see my reflection. Freshly cut flowers were arranged everywhere in a sophisticated manner and the place just screamed high end without making anyone in the hotel seem snobby. I was glad I chose to wear one of the brightly colored sundresses that Pete’s shiny plastic bought for me, seeing as this place was definitely not one for jeans, unless you were extremely important. After admiring some of the frescos that decorated the walls Sisky had caught my glance and was beckoning for me to hurry up. I quickened my pace and finally found myself right next to them.

“Sorry about the hold up you guys,” I apologized. “That valet attendant was a frkn bi-“

“Language Buttercup,” warned Will. “We don’t want this lovely establishment to think we’re like your average rock stars with a groupie containing a mouth worthy of a sailor.”

“I am not your f-“ I stopped myself and took a deep breath all the while glaring at him. “I am not your groupie.”

“Don’t let him get to you love,” Vicky-T smiled sweetly at me, grabbing my arm lightly. “Come, let’s go. We seem to be sharing a room and I want to freshen up and get settled before we start on tonight’s festivities.”

“Oh yes, I can’t wait for that either,” I said, following her and some of the others towards the elevators. “I wonder what Jessica has planned for the bachelorette party.”

“Who knows… but when I asked Ash about it she said that Jessica had told her to ‘expect the unexpected’. So I’m guessing it’ll be as wild as parties like that can get,” informed Vicky-T.

Many of us got out on the 11th level and walked down the hallways, looking for the room that contained the number that matched our room keys.

“Seven hundred eleven,” Vicky-T said as she slid the key card into the slot. It’s red light changed to green and we were soon in the room. My jaw instantly dropped and I was amazed beyond belief. Victoria lightly pushed me ahead so that she could close the door and I stood frozen just looking at the room or shall I say rooms. There was a beautiful sitting room fully furnished with a comfy looking leather couch, an elaborate wooden desk, a coffee table, and a chaise. Soft cream tones were seen throughout the room and I was definitely impressed. I finally regained my composure and walked to Victoria and I’s room to be amazed once again. Two double beds were spaciously placed on separate sides of the room and just seemed so inviting. I jumped onto the bed closest to the window since Vicky had chosen the one next to the bathroom and sighed contentedly.

“I love this place,” I said airily, sending a huge smile her way.

“Yeah, it’s pretty gorgeous,” she agreed, looking around as she unpacked a few things.

“Do you always stay in places like these?” I asked as I repositioned myself on the bed for optimal comfort.

“I wish I could answer yes to that but we’re always on the tour bus and the few hotel days we do get… we usually end up staying at a Marriott or a Holiday Inn,” she explained.

I nodded in understandment and began to unpack a few things myself. I gently lifted the dress I intended on wearing and hung it in the walk-in closet and ensured its safety. I then went on to place all my hair care and hygiene products into the bathroom.

“Hey T,” I said as I unzipped my duffel bag once again. “What should I wear to the party?”

“Hmm what you’re wearing is fine. It’s not too risqué but not too conservative,” she said, referring to the white satin tube dress that fell just above my knees that I had on with a wide yellow belt placed on my waist.

“Oh alright, you know what T? I’m glad me and you are getting along well,” I said, standing up and stretching. “I think I would have gone crazy in that house full of boys without another available girl in the house.”

“Aww, I’m glad we’re getting along well too love. Try being on tour with everyone surrounding you being male save for some of the merch girls. But even then it’s not the same. Maybe on one of our next tours I can sneak you in my suitcase,” she said half seriously half jokingly.

“I’d be down for that,” I laughed. “Or I can just hid in your bunk and yell ‘Surprise!’ when one of the boys’ open it.”

“Genius,” she giggled. “Oh shit. We better get going now. While you were getting the car parked, I met Jessica and she told us to be at their suite at about oh let’s say five minutes ago.”

After getting lost in the vast hotel and walking by the same portrait for the seventh time, Vicky finally remembered that we were on the wrong floor. We walked back to the elevator and hummed along with the music during the ride up the 9 floors.

“Here we are Chelsea,” she said, smiling at me as we walked right up to Jessica and Ashlee’s suite. “There’s no turning back now.”

I was just about to say something when the white door swung open to reveal Ashlee’s maid of honor, Jessica. “Hey you guys! Come in, come in. We were just about to start. You must be Chelsea May, I’m Jessica.”

“Nice to meet you,” I said, sending her a small smile as we walked into the living room of the suite. A wave of unfamiliar heads turned to look at us and I began to feel uncomfortable. Vicky-T must have sensed my uneasiness because she then began to introduce me to the two girls nearest to us. Turns out they were Spencer and Jon’s girlfriends, Haley and Cassie. They scooted over on the couch to make way for Vicky-T and I and we instantly hit it off. My uneasiness was lifted and I wasn’t as tense.

“Here have a drink,” Jessica said, appearing out of nowhere and handing me a martini glass full of a pink concoction.

“No thank you,” I said, shaking my head and trying to hand it back to her. “I don’t drink.”

“Oh come on,” she pouted. “Don’t be such a party pooper.”

“Fine, I guess one won’t hurt,” I said. Her pout faded and she nodded before walking off to mingle with the other guests. When the coast was clear I poured the drink behind me and into a potted plant before setting it down on the side table next to me.

“Oh, bad girl,” taunted Cassie jokingly as Haley reached over her and gave me a high five. “Haley did the exact same thing.”

“So what did you do with yours?” Vicky-T asked, sipping her mixed drink.

“It’s right there,” she said, pointing at an abandoned pink drink on the coffee table. “Me and Hales were trying to make a game of which one of Ashlee and Jessica’s cousins would go for it first. No offense but they sure love their alcohol.”

“That girl over there,” Haley said, subtly pointing at a tipsy looking blonde wearing the shortest dress in the room. “She’s been eyeing it for a whole twenty minutes.” Just as the words slipped out of her mouth, the girl previously mentioned, wobbled over to it and drunkenly chugged the drink in ten seconds flat before going back to her previous place at an armchair. All four of us exchanged a look before erupting into a fit of giggles.

“What did I miss that was so funny?” Ashlee asked from right behind us with hands on her hips.

“Hello there miss bride to be,” I grinned at her. “I was wondering where you were. Well the answer to your question is your cousin over there -in that tight shirt turned dress- just came over here and gulped down Cassie’s drink like it was no big deal and wobbled back to her chair.”

“Oh no, no, no. Lacy is definitely not my cousin. She’s just an old family friend that can’t exactly control herself when alcohol is involved,” Ashlee explained.

“Sis, there you are!” Jessica squealed from across the room. “Where were you this whole time? It’s time to open presents!”

“Oh joy,” Ash said unenthusiastically, rolling her eyes.

“Go sit on your special chair!” commanded Jessica excitedly, pointing at this pink looking throne.

“Woah baby!” I gasped quietly as my eyes widened. “I didn’t notice that monster before.”

“Really?” Haley asked. “That was the first thing I noticed.”

“Jessica do I really have to?” Ashlee whined as she crossed her arms and sat herself on the “special chair”.

“Yes!” she said, stamping her foot on the floor. Ashlee instantly uncrossed her arms and nodded her head. “Now let’s begin.” Ashlee was then handed a gift by one of the partygoers. It was wrapped oddly and wasn’t exactly appealing to look at. She nervously opened it to reveal a blow up doll and a kama sutra book. My eyes widened as Ashlee turned a deep shade of red and the guests that I didn’t know personally giggled like little school girls.

“And it starts,” Cassie muttered to herself. We watched Ashlee’s face grow even redder with each present unwrapped. Before I gave my present to her she had already received several books to spicen up what she did with Pete in bed, many sets of lingerie, edible underwear, and even some “pleasure” toys. Cassie, Haley, and Vicky-T had all opted to get her gift cards at various stores like Victoria’s Secret and Bath and Body Works. I got up and shakily handed her the lavender box containing my present to her. She slowly pulled off the ribbon and opened the top and gasped at what she saw inside. Her eyes sparkled as she looked up at me and I sent her a small smile. Ashlee then lifted the scrapbook I had made filled with memorabilia of the year and a half her and Pete had spent being a couple.

“Just something different from the usual bridal shower / bachelorette party gifts,” I said as she went through the pages of the scrapbook.

“How boring,” Lacy said obnoxiously. “What’s she going to do with a book like that?”

“Lacy, shut up!” Ashlee snapped, glaring at her. “I love it. She actually put time and effort in this which is more than I can say for that set of edible underwear you picked out for me.”

Lacy opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted by a pounding on the door. Jessica quickly made her way to the door and opened it as everyone in the sitting room craned their necks to see what all the commotion was about. A petite dirty blonde haired girl in a short purple babydoll dress stood awkwardly with about five hotel attendants dressed in the usual green uniforms.

“You girls must have been very hungry,” she said walking into the room and pointing her thumb back at the five men still standing in the doorway.

“Jamie?” Cassie said from right next to me.

:”Cassie?” the girl in the dress replied quickly walking towards our couch. “What are you doing here?”

“I can say the same for you!” Cassie said but then turned her attention back to the door, “Wait, we can continue this later. Something tells me something’s about to go down.”

The five tanned tall guys walked into the living room with the last one pushing a room service cart in front of him. He looked up and smiled at Ashlee. “Did you girls order room service?”

“Umm n-“ Ashlee began to say before she was cut off with Jessica squealing yes.

“Let’s go boys,” the guy with the cart said taking off the lid off of a silver platter only to reveal a big black boombox. He turned the volume up and they all began to pelvic thrust their way through the music. The girls began to squeal as they one by one went up to Ashlee and took off an article of clothing. Whether it be their cap, jacket, belt, shoes even. If it was possible her face turned into an even deeper red when the last guy which just so happened to be the hottest one began to give her a lap dance. From there the other guys dispersed and began to take their clothes off for otherladies females in the room. The less classy of the party brought out their wallets and began to stick dollar bills in whatever article of clothing was still left on, on their stripper. I covered my face and looked down to the arm rest of the couch when one of the males made their way to our couch and began to give us our own personal show.

“Come on, have some fun,” he whispered into my ear. I inhaled sharply and dug my head even deeper into the sofa in hopes that he’ll leave. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“You guys, help!” I squealed into the couch. I could just picture him pelvic thrusting the air around me and as much as others would have enjoyed it, I wasn’t exactly feeling it.

“She’s all yours,” I heard Vicky-T say before he lifted me up and onto his shoulder before placing me on an armchair.

“Before you do anything,” I said, stopping him mid pelvic thrust. “I might as well be under the influence.” So for the first time since my 21st birthday, I decided to take a sip of alcohol. I looked to my side and found that the small table next to me had a bottle half full of Skyy Vodka. I grabbed it, took off the cap, and took a swig. After the initial burn down my throat I took another swig before telling him to continue. He gladly did and began to dance while taking article after article of clothing. I looked behind him to see Cassie, Haley, Vicky-T, and even Jamie snickering inbetween catcalls and wolf-whistles. They quickly shut up when their own male stripper began to do his job for them.

I would be lying if I said the rest was all just a drunken haze because I remember clearly what happened after. Since Jessica had ordered the strippers for the whole night, they were allowed a break in the middle. When she told them it was okay for them to take it, they left the room and everyone began to get more piss-faced than ever. I had rejoined the girls for what seemed about only a minute when Ashlee came over to us with a proposition. “I’m out. I’m already sick and tired of this. All of it. I think at times like this you can only have fun if you’re drunk off your mind. You can either come with or stay in this circus. It’s all up to you.”

“Wouldn’t they notice the bachelorette gone?” I asked.

“Are you kidding me?” she laughed. “They’re too drunk to notice and when the exotic dancers come back they’ll be having their own fun. So are you guys down or not?”

“Let’s do it!” Jamie and I said at the same time. We both looked at each other and sent a simple smile down the other’s way before Cassie, Vicky-T, and Haley agreed. The six of us glanced around the room making sure no one was paying any attention to us before quickly getting up and making a run for the door.

We ran all the way to the elevator and didn’t rest until we were safely inside where noone could see/find us. “So…” Jamie said, breaking the silence and looking at Haley, Vicky-T, and I. “I’m Evans, Jamie Evans.”

“Well I guess that makes me Cabado, Chelsea May Cabado. Man! That doesn’t sound as good,” I whined, stamping my foot.

“Here let me try,” Vicky-T said. “Asher, Victoria Asher.”

“Oh my gosh you guys are so stupid,” Haley said, rolling her eyes. “I’m Haley.”

“Anyways,” Cassie said, cutting the introductions short. “What are you doing here Jamie?! How do you know Ashlee?”

“You don’t know?” Ashlee said, replying for Jamie. “She’s Pete’s mom’s sister’s daughter.”

“Don’t you mean cousin?” I asked bluntly.

“Oh yeah! Cousin! But it sounds better when you say it the complicated way. I met Jamie through Pete once in Chicago and we hit it off instantly,” Ashlee said as the doors opened and we walked into the lobby. She then stopped under one of the chandeliers and looked towards us. “Umm you guys what are we going to do?”

The six of us looked at each other and stayed silent as we thought of a plan to occupy us for the rest of the night. Lots of ‘umm’s were said before Jamie quickly perked up her head as her face glowed with a mischievous smile. “I’ve got the perfect plan.” We all looked at her and waited for her to continue but it never came.

“And?!” I said impatiently.

“Well we’re going to surprise the boys. I talked to Pete earlier and it sounds like they’re doing nothing like what Jess had planned for you,” she said, referring to Ashlee. “You know what they’re doing? Guitar Hero I II & III tournament, a Rockband ‘concert’, followed by, and this was in his words too, a rambunctious game of Twister,” she said, shaking her head. “Oh and something about a huge pot of man soup? I have no idea what my stupid cousin meant by that.”

“What the fuck?” I said, rolling my eyes. “How can a game of Twister be rambunctious?”

“That was Pete’s word of the day,” Ashlee mumbled quietly.

Jamie began to choke on her own laughter after she finally comprehended what Ash had said. “He has a word of the day?”

“Anyways,” Haley said, saving Ashlee from any more embarrassment. “How are we going to ‘surprise’ them?”

“Easy,” she grinned. “We’re going to pose as strippers. They’ll be too shocked to wonder where we came from and what not.” My eyes widened and I involuntarily began to cough. As all the others stayed silent, waiting for her to say ‘just kidding!’

“Strippers?” I squeaked.

“Yeah,” she said bluntly, nodding her head. “Come on, it’ll be fun. We’ll be gypsies and our faces will be covered by veils of various colors. They’ll never know it’s us. We’ll disguise our voices and everything. This is like a once in a lifetime opportunity. Come on you guys, live a little!”

“I’m in,” Cassie said, grinning a little. “But only if I get Jon. It’d be fun to mess around with his head a little.”

“Well since Cassie put it in a new light… I guess I’m in too. I’ma get a kick out of what Spencer will do when I put the ‘moves’ on him,” Haley said.

“I guess it would be fun to be Pete’s stripper,” Ashlee giggled. “And I‘d rather it be me than some cheap hussie.”

“How about you Vicky-T are you in?” Jamie asked.

“Yes, but if we get caught I took no part in planning this,” she said. “Got it?” Jamie nodded and then everyone’s eyes were on me. “May are you in or not?”

“I… I… I…” I said, looking to each one of them. “Uhh sure?”

“Yes!” she exclaimed, bouncing up and down a little. “Cassie gets Jon, Haley gets Spence, Ashlee obviously gets Pete, so that means we,” she then wrapped her arms around Vicky-T and I, “get the rest of them.”

“Oh the boys will surely love Chelsea May,” Ashlee giggled, winking at me.

“I resent that,” I glared playfully at her.

“Oh, I’m interested now, you guys need to tell me the story about that later. But now we need to get into costume,” she said, leading us back to the elevator. We quickly made our way to her room and dressed into the gypsy-like clothing before cloaking our regular scents with this heavy yet fragrant perfume. Us girls jingled our way out of the room and back to the elevator where we were given looks by guests and employees of all shapes and sizes. We couldn’t help but giggle when that happened but went back to serious mode once we reached Pete’s floor.

“So please tell me why you had gypsy costumes packed with you?” I whispered as we tiptoed our way to the door.

“Gahd this thing is so heavy,” Jamie said, practically dragging the boombox. “Let’s just say I had a feeling they’d be needed. Oh look we’re here. Just follow my lead.”