The Fueled By Ramen Analysis

“Best..” he started, looking me in the eye. “I think it was a mistake marrying Ashlee. I… I think I love you.”

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My eyebrows scrunched together in confusion as I looked at my best friend. I breathed out heavily and opened my mouth but nothing would come out. His sad brown eyes locked onto mine for what felt like hours until I finally looked away and slowly shook my head. I got up from the bed and made my way to the door, silently praying that he wouldn’t follow.

“Chelsea May,” he croaked as my hand touched the doorknob.

I looked back to see my best friend sobbing lightly. His eyes begged for any kind of response to his confession. I squeezed my eyes shut as warm droplets softly cascaded down my face. “Pete,” I whispered. “I- I can’t. Not right now. This is too much for me. I hope you understand.”

I turned the doorknob and left Pete in my room, tears freely running down my cheeks. I quietly made my way through the apartment and out the door before anyone could see me.

Once outside of the apartment building, I silently cursed at myself for forgetting that I wasn’t in California anymore. As much as I wanted to go back and grab a coat I decided not to and briskly walked away just in case Pete’s shock wore off and he decided to chase after me. I stuffed my hands into my hoodie’s pocket only to remember that this was no ordinary hoodie. It was Pete’s.

“Pete,” I said in a baby voice as we walked side by side along UCLA’s Rose Garden, goosebumps accumulating on my skin with every blow of the wind. The sun had just set and darkness was beginning to surround us save for the few lamp posts here and there, He had wanted to take the “scenic route” to my dorm room since it was his first time visiting the campus.

“Yes, Best?” He said, looking away from all the rose bushes, fountains, and sculptures that surrounded us to look at me.

“As much as I’d love to keep showing you around, I’m getting kind of cold. Is it-”

“Here,” he said, cutting me off as he unzipped the black Clandestine hoodie and took it off only to put it on me. “Better?”

“Much,” I grinned. “Now we can stay here as long as you want.”

“Good,” he smiled, turning his attention back to the garden. “Now tell me more about that hot study partner of yours.”

“You’re too much,” I giggled, shoving him lightly.

“I am Pete Wentz,” he winked, flashing me his infamous smirk.

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“Thank you for today, Best,” I said quietly, making a complete 180 from the conversation we had just had about Andy’s foot fetish as we approached my dorm room. “I really needed it.”

“Well everyone needs a break from real life once in a while. Especially when you’re a college student. Your nose doesn’t have to be in books all the time,” he said, wrapping his arm around me.

“No, I’m serious. Thank you.”

“Best, is there something you haven’t been telling me?” he asked, squeezing me a bit.

“It’s nothing, just do-”

“It is something. I knew something was wrong. Now tell me so I can fix it,” he lightly demanded.

“Okay,” I sighed, giving in. “It’s just that I’ve been feeling lonely lately. I’m the youngest in all my classes and yeah I talk to my classmates but we’re in different places in our lives and those that are my age aren’t faced with the difficult courses I’m taking so our workloads are different and it’s hard to find time to just relax and be a regular college student.”

“You know what the problem really is? You’re so afraid of failure and disappointing your family that you hide behind your books. You may say there’s not enough time to deepen friendships and further connect with others but there really is Chelsea May. We both know you study more than enough and you of all people don’t need it. Get out of your shell more. Dedicate a couple hours a day to meet new people or have lunch with someone interesting. Just get out there. Anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend,” he said, kissing the top of my head lightly.

“You’re right,” I said, hesitating a bit. “Thanks for that too, Best.”

“Anytime,” he replied as we stopped right in front of my dorm. “So I want you to promise me that you’re going to try to make new friends while I’m away on tour. As much as I’d love to keep you company whether it be on the phone, web cam or in person, I can’t always be there and you must experience all of what college has to offer besides academics.”

“I promise, I’ll do my best,” I said, sticking out my pinky. He interlocked his pinky with mine and we stamped it.

“Oh and before I forget, here’s your hoodie back. I know it’s one of your favorites.” I said, unzipping it.

“One of my favorites?” he asked incredulously. “It is my all time favorite. The jacket you hold in your hands is the first Clandestine hoodie ever made. But I don’t want it back, I want you to have it. It‘ll keep you warm and remind you of me when you‘re feeling lonely.”

“Best, I can’t. Plus I wouldn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea,” I said, trying to get him to take his hoodie back.

“What? That we’re boyfriend and girlfriend? For one smart cookie, you sure do think like a middle school student when it comes to these kinds of things,” he joked, pushing the hoodie away. “You already know our relationship is much more than that of a boyfriend and girlfriend. This. What we have going here. It’s never going to end. No one and nothing can ever come between us. I need you in my life and you need me. It’s that simple.”

“Promise?” I asked, the baby voice returning.

“I promise,” he said as our pinkies interlocked one more time.

“I love you, Pete,” I said, wrapping my arms around him and burying my head in his chest.

“I love you too, Chelsea. I love you too.”

I wiped the fresh tears away from my face with the sleeves of the black hoodie and looked around as my pace slowed down. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked all around me. A shiver went down my spine as I saw where my feet had led me, St. Peter’s Church.

“Whenever you are lost and in need of guidance, whenever you are lonely and in need of company, whenever and wherever you are, just pray and God shall not disappoint.”

My mom’s go-to words of wisdom resonated in my brain.

“I have nothing to lose,” I quietly said to myself before taking a deep breath and walking into the church. I dipped my middle and pointer fingers into the baptismal font and crossed myself with the Holy Water before entering the Blessed Sacrament. It was said, that in that room Jesus Christ is physically present, ready to hear you and help in any way possible. I went to the back row and put the kneeler down as softly as possible not wanting to distract the others in the room and began reciting the Our Father.

When the prayer I had grown so accustomed to reciting was done I took another deep breath and began to personally talk to God as I squeezed my eyes shut and believed with everything in me that He really was listening.

“Lord, God, I just wanted to take the opportunity to thank You for all that You have bestowed in my life. My amazing family, my education, all my friends both old and new. Not to mention my dream job… Thank You so much for all these amazing opportunities. I’m sorry that I haven’t taken the time to show my appreciation for all that You’ve given me. I’m also sorry that I’ve strayed away. But after everything that’s happened my subconscious led me to the foot of Your house. My heart and soul knew I needed You and that is why I’m here. Lord, God, I pray for Your guidance during this crossroad in my life. I pray that You give me the strength to persevere in this time where I want to be selfish and just drop everything. I ask that You guide me to choose what is right for me and all those that surround me Lord. Please, Lord… I lost him. I lost my Best. I really need someone right now.”

Somewhere inbetween my prayer I had started to sob quietly to myself and I didn’t think much of it until I felt someone rubbing my back slowly in circles. I opened my eyes and turned my attention to an elderly lady.

“There, there, deary,” she whispered. “Everything will turn out fine in the end. Just be honest, open , and willing to God’s plan. As long as you ask for his help, help will be given.”

I stood there in shock at this woman. Most would have just left me alone but here she was, trying to comfort me. I swallowed the big lump in my throat and blinked away a few more tears before asking, “But what if I don’t know what God’s plan is for me?”

“That’s the beauty of life, sweetie. One has to really live a life full of prayer and spirituality s that they are certain that the path they take is one of God’s liking. He created us with free will and it is up to us if we choose to serve Him in our own special ways. Don’t be discouraged. It will only get tough from here but the end result is sweeter than anything you can imagine. Just remember God works in mysterious ways,” she said smiling slightly at me.

I looked down and bit my lip as I nodded in agreement. “You’re right. You’re absolutely right, thank you so much,” I said, looking back up but she was gone. My gaze darted to the door of the chapel but there was no trace of anyone just leaving.

“Thank You, Lord. I know what I need to do now,” I said aloud. I then crossed myself before leaving the church and making my way back to my new home.