Let Me Break This Awkward Silence

Chapter 11

Alyssa’s Point of View

I walked down stairs blaring “Thoughtless” by Korn, it was loud enough for someone around me to hear the guitars, but quiet enough so I could hear after words. I would have loved to say that I chose the song for some deep emotional reason, a reason which “should be expressed in a non violent way.” Yeah, I had to go see a fucking therapist; all that shit that she said went in one ear and out the other. Well I guess except for that…

So anyway, I started walking slowly downstairs in step with guitars and headed toward the kitchen. I didn’t give Gerard the satisfaction of looking at him or my grandparents; I just kept on walking to the kitchen, my head bobbing with the beat.

I could feel the stares that I was getting, but I ignored it as I got my soda. How sad, no Dr. Pepper…I thought as I grabbed the big 2 liter of Diet Coke and poured it into my ice filled cup.

By the time the song ended, I heard Gerard yelling “ALYSSA!!”

So, what was my reaction, you ask?

Not even turning my head, and doing a wait gesture with my hand, changing the song to “Dead!”, and started singing along with it.

“And if you’re heart stops beating, I’ll be here wondering; did you get what you deserve? The ending of you’re life? And if you get to heaven, I’ll be here waiting, baby, did you get what you deserve? The end and if you’re life won’t wait, then you’re heart can’t take it…

“Have you heard the news that you’re dead?! No one ever had much nice to say, I think they never liked you anyway, ohh take me from the hospital bed…! Wouldn’t it be grand, if it isn’t exactly what you planed, wouldn’t it be grand if we were dead?” I sang softly to Gerard, still not looking at him, while I’m making a sandwich. “Ohh Dead…

“Tongue tied, and oh so squeamish, you never fell in love. Did you get what you deserve? The ending of you’re life – and if you get to heaven, I’ll be here waiting baby; did you get what you deserve? The end and if you’re life can’t wait then you’re heart can’t take it…

“Have you heard the news that you’re dead?! No one ever had much nice to say, I think they never liked you anyway, ohh take me from the hospital be – AHH!!” I screamed mid-word; I was in cupboard looking for bread, and staring right at me was a huge fucking spider.

“EW! EW! EW! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!” I screamed, getting on the opposite counter.

“What is it!?” Gerard yelled running towards me.

“HUGE FUCKING SPIDER!!” I yelled again, scooting back farther away from the spider. I heard someone give a little yelp and shuffle away towards the stairs.

“Damn! That fucker’s huge!” Gerard said as he tried to find a cup to catch it in.

I gave a little scream as it started moving towards me. “GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!” it kept coming at me, that is until Gerard put a cup over it. I sighed in relief.

“So you aren’t so tough are you?” He smirked looking at me, “Now I want you to meet –“
He was cut off by my screaming again as the cup started moving. “IT’S MOVING! IT’S FUCKING MOVING!! KILL IT FOR GODS SAKE!! KILL IT! KILL IT! KILL IT!” I yelled, jumping off the counter and running to the stairs.

Once I got there I stood in shock as I saw sitting on the stairs was non-other than Frank Fucking Iero.

I stood there for a couple minutes just staring, until the cries of triumph from Gerard rang through the house: “Yeah! I killed that mother-fucker!”

“So, I see you met Frank,” Gerard said coming up behind me, picking me up and slinging me over his shoulder (causing my hat to fall by the way), and throwing me on the sofa.

“Damn! What is with you Way boys and throwing girls on the sofa? And, yes, I do realize that that could imply many, WRONG, things. And, NO, I do not want to hear such wrong things.” I said stopping Frank before he could even utter a word.

We sat there in an awkward silence; well actually I think it was more of a gawking silence for me. Yeah I met them before; hell they all signed my pants for God’s sake. But I had never been this close to them. You have no fucking idea how hard it was for me not to go “Fan Girl” on their asses.

I got up to get my hat, which was still sitting on the floor, when I got tackled to the ground by Frank yelling: “OH-MY-FRANKING-BOB! I KNEW YOU WERE REAL!! I JUST KNEW IT!! AND I MEAN YOU EVEN LOOK LIKE GERARD!! AND YOU’RE SCARED OF SPIDERS TOO!!” He said getting up off of me, pulling me up, and stood next to me to see if I was taller than him, sadly (for me anyway,) I wasn’t.

“YES!! FINALLY I’M TALLER THAN SOMEONE!!” He yelled in happiness, plopping down on the sofa.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, Frankie, just remember, I’m not done growing yet.” I said sitting next to him.

“I told you she’d love me!” Frankie said hugging me.

“I never said she wouldn’t, Frankie…” Gerard said rolling his eyes. “Now unhand my daughter please.”

“Aw? Jealous, ‘cause I can get a hug and you can’t?” Frankie said smirking and still hugging me. “Now, Alyssa, in all seriousness, who is a better guitarist: Me or Ray?” Frankie said pulling away with a completely straight face.

“Oh that’s easy, Billie Joe.” I said smiling.

“THAT’S NOT AN ANSWER CHOICE!” Frankie yelled exasperated.

“You asked me who I thought was a better guitarist, and I said Billie Joe.” I repeated.

“No! I said who is a better guitarist: ME OR RAY?!” he shouted.

“Well that’s easy! Ray.” I said smiling.

“What?!” Frankie yelled.

“Well, you said and I quote, ‘who is a better guitarist: me or Ray?’ And well, I can play guitar, but he has more experience, thus making him a better guitar player.” I said smiling. “But Mikey is my favorite, out of all y’all.” I said getting up and hugging, Mikey.

“Aw, you’re my favorite niece, Alyssa.” Mikey said hugging me back.

“I’m you’re only niece, Mikey, I better be you’re favorite.” I said getting up and plopping on the couch next to Ray.

“So, Alyssa, this is –“

“Ray, Bob and Frankie, A.K.A. the rest of you’re band, My Chemical Romance. I’m not stupid, Gerard. Nor am I musically deprived.” I said rolling my eyes, and propping my feet up on the coffee table.

“Alyssa, what are on you’re pants?” Ray asked randomly.

“Oh, they are signatures. From friends and bands,” I said getting up and slowly turning. Frank stopped me and started looking at them.

“Dude, I know some of these people!” He said turning me when he was done with the front. “Look, there’s Adam, Bert, Billie Joe, Trent, Mike, Ray, Bob, Synyster Gates, M. Shadows, Zacky Vengeance, The Rev., Johnny Christ…Hey, Gerard, some guy signed her – Never mind. So, who wants to play Xbox?” Frankie said walking over to the Xbox.

“’Signed’ what, Frankie?” Gerard said eyeing Frankie.

“Nothing…” Frankie said avoiding eye contact.

“Who signed you’re ass?!” Gerard exclaimed, after pulling me towards him.

“Why are you looking at my ass, Gerard?” I smirked, eyebrow raised.

“I-uh-well-Who did you let sign you’re ass?” Gerard asked after a couple minutes of stuttering.

“Frank obviously.” I said rolling my eyes.

“FRANK!” Gerard yelled, “WHY DID YOU SIGN MY DAUGHTERS ASS?!”

“Relax, Gerard; I wasn’t even wearing them when they got signed…” I said rolling my eyes, and then seeing that everyone was staring at me, Frank with a look of shock and questioning, Gerard looking like he is going to kill Frank, I quickly added, “I was wearing a different pair of jeans, I brought those so people could sign wherever with out my mom killing me about a guy signing my ass.” Seeing relief flood everyone’s faces, I laughed.
Everyone just chilled for the next hour. I got a nice 2nd degree from the rest of the band, what I liked and crap.

So far, I like Bob the best. Just because he doesn’t talk much.

I just beat Frank at Guitar Hero 2 when my phone started vibrating, and playing the marching band solo from “Online”.

“Who’s that?” Gerard asked, with a mouth full of PB&J.

“One, chew with you’re mouth closed, you’re not fucking apes. Act like it. Two, no one it’s my reminder on my phone.” I said getting my phone out of my back pocket. And I saw that I needed to take my meds.

Before you say anything, they’re anti-depressants.

Anyway…I got up and headed over to the kitchen to grab my coffee and fumbled around my backpack and found the bag with my meds in it. Yes I have more than one prescription, what can I say? I love doing idiotic things.

“What are you taking?” Gerard asked eyeing the rattling bottle.

“Meds,” I said simply pulling out two.

“What do they do?” He prodded, tying to get more out of me.

“Well, let’s see. The blue ones help me fly and the red ones help me fall.” I said rolling my eyes and popping the pills, and drowning them with the cold coffee. “Bleh! Nasty, forewarning, never, never take pills with cold coffee that’s not iced, had milk put into it, and stirred.” I joked pouring out the old coffee.

“What pills are you taking?” Gerard asked getting up and looking at the prescription bottle.

“None of your business.” I said attempting to grab it from him.

“As you’re Father and legal guardian, I would have to say yes it is my business.” He said holding it out of my reach while he read the bottle. “Anti-depressants? Why are you taking anti-depressants?”

“Why does anyone take anti-depressants?” I said grabbing the bottle and sticking it back in the bag, only to have the entire bag be taken. “Damn it, Gerard!” I yelled, annoyed to hell. “Give it back!”

“What are these?” He asked looking at my pain meds. Oh, good memories right there…

“Pain medication,” I sighed, I gave up trying to get them, and if he wanted to know what medication I’ve taken through the years then go ahead.

“For what?” he pushed; now looking at the prescription date.

“The motorcycle accident I was in.” I said nonchalantly.

I snickered as Gerard dropped the bottle, and looked at me with wide eyes. Hell, everyone by now was looking at me with wide eyes.

“Yeah, ‘bout a year ago, Gavin got his motorcycle and took me on it for a ride. Then in an intersection, while we were going straight on 89th and Beardsley, a drunk driver ran the red light, smacked into us, causing the bike to tip over, crushing our left legs, and the car broke the other.

“So long story short, I got my left leg broken in 3 places, right leg broken in 2 places, right arm broken in 3 places, a fractured wrist, 3 cracked ribs, and 2 fractured ribs. Almost died too. Best month spent in a hospital. And that’s when I discovered that I really hate IV’s with a fucking passion, and that syringe needles scare me shitless.” I said taking the opportunity to grab my bag and medication and head up to my room.

About half way up the stairs I turned around to say: “And no, Gavin was not trying to get in my pants, he is like a brother to me.” I started up the stairs again, only to stop and say: “If it makes you feel better, Mikey, Kaysi bitch slapped him.”