Let Me Break This Awkward Silence

Chapter 18

I jolted awake and clung to whoever woke me up. This happened to be Gerard….

I just broke down crying, mumbling everything from, “I can’t believe you’re alive.” to “Why didn’t you find me?”

Gerard just murmured that it was just a dream, it wasn’t real.

But it felt so damn real.

“Alyssa? Sugar what happened?” Gerard asked still cradling my sobbed shaken body.

“Just – hic – a – hic – bad – hic – dream!” I hiccupped out, still clinging on to him for dear life.

He got that I didn’t really want to talk about it, so he just shifted so he was sitting against the backboard of my bed, and moved me so I was sitting on his lap. He started rubbing my back, trying to get me to calm down while quietly singing a familiar tune, that shouldn’t have helped, but it did...

“So say now suffer all the children, and walk away a savior, or a mad man in polluted, from gutter institution, don’t you breath for me, undeserving of your sympathy, ‘cause there ain’t know way I’m sorry for what I did…And threw it all, how could you cry, for me, ‘cause I don’t feel bad about it…so shut your eyes kiss me goodnight, and sleep…The hardest part is letting go of, your dreams.

“A drink, for the horror that I’m in; for the good guys and the bad guys, for the monsters that I’ve been! Three cheers for tyranny, unapologetic empathy! ‘Cause there’s no way that I’m coming back again! And threw it all, how could you cry, for me, ‘cause I don’t feel bad about it…so shut your eyes kiss me goodnight, and sleep…Just sleep…The hardest part the awful things I’ve seen…”

The rest of the song, I faded in and out, and he soon started humming “Heaven Help Us”, to which I think I finally fell asleep.

Gerard’s Point Of View

After I finished “Heaven Help Us”, I noticed that she was sleeping and breathing normally, except for the occasional hiccup that escaped past her pierced lips.

It started to eat at me for the fact that I didn’t know what caused her to break down like this.

But I knew deep down that I probably caused it.

But maybe, if anything she really just had a bad dream.

I know I suffered through a lot of them when my Grandma died. Hell, I couldn’t sleep for the next two months because of it.

Or it could be a side effect from her pills. I’ll have to look and see which ones she is taking.
And hope that she will be able to stop soon; it’s not right for a fifteen year old girl to be taking anti-depressants!

I gently laid her back down as I slipped out of her room.

It was about five in the morning, I wasn’t going to be able to go back to sleep.

Still in my pajamas I walked over to the room with my piano, and saw some miscellaneous
paper on top of it.

One of them was a sheet of music with some notes on it with a little Fleur-de-lis in the corner with the initials, A.E.B.

Alyssa Elena Black

Not Way, Black.

Looking at the notes, it seemed that they tied together to what seemed to be an up-beat song.

After playing it for a few times I learned that it was.

Placing that aside, I grabbed the song that I’ve been working on, and have complete and total writers block on.

And pretty much till Alyssa woke up I worked on it.