Loving You From The Past

Just sleeping.
Out on the streets.
Just drinking.
Out on the streets.
Just wasting.
Out on the streets.

I want to live!

Three months passed.
Since I last saw her face.
Where the impact scarred her face.

I just want to see her.
I just want to feel her.
I just want to be with her.

Crying.
Howling.
Dying.

I never did take up cigarettes.
I hated them with a passion.

But I now know why people like them so much.
Just this nauseous calming sensation overwhelming over you.
And all the white smoking rising in your lungs, and out you blow.

I smoke them.
Fast as I can.
Just sucking on it.
Coughing on it.
Dying on it.

To die.
Faster.
Just fast as I can.

And the Jack Daniel.
Clenched in my left hand.

Chugging.
Cringing.
Ow, the bitter taste.

But it seems to numb.
Seems to forget.
I just drink and drink and drink.

I have a couple of pills.
Some sleeping pills.
I saved up for.

So swallowing.
Drinking.

I feel alive.
So fucking alive.

Screaming at the top of my lungs.
I just run to the horizon.

My vision blurs.
I can't stay focus.
My body is weak.
I'm going
d
o
w
n
smiling.
As hard as I can.

Dear Elena,
I'll be with you sweetie.
Soon.