I Can't Believe This

“Ha!,” I screamed. “I am totally kicking your ass!”

“You know,” Billie Joe started. “I am really beginning to regret buying Guitar Hero now.”

I laughed and handed him the miniature guitar, then sat down where Billie had just been. “Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it.”

“I don’t know…” He trailed off as the notes began to roll past the screen. “Shit,” he mumbled, as he missed the first note.

I watched as a few more rolled past the screen without him hitting them. “Come on Billie. You’re play the guitar in a world famous band. You should be able to do this.”

“You’d think so, right? But Jesus, this fucking guitar is too small and there are only five damn buttons and…fuck!” He exclaimed, when he failed. “Fuck it. I give up.” He set the guitar down and sat down next to me, pouting. “You know, I should make you pay.”

“Pay for what?” I asked, arching an eyebrow.

“For humiliating me.”

I giggled and kissed him softly. “Babe, you did that all on your own.”

He shook his head and laughed. “Okay, maybe the actual playing was my fault. But, you’re the one who told me and I quote, “Come on Billie Joe, it’ll be a lot of fun.” end quote.”

“Well, it is. And with practice you’ll get better. Well, hopefully.”

“I don’t think it’s going to happen. So, you should pay for, um, for tricking me into buying it.”

“I didn’t trick you.”

“Yes you did. How was I supposed to know you were talking about a video game? I mean, I probably thought you were talking about sex.”

I laughed and laid down on the couch, my head on his lap. “That wouldn’t surprise me, but, you knew what I was talking about. And I know that because I was pointing at it and we were in Best Buy at the time.”

“Doesn’t matter where we are, or what we’re doing. About every five minutes my brain switches from good Billie Joe to sex crazed Billie Joe.” He winked, then leaned down and kissed me. “See,” he whispered against my lips.

“Hmm,” I managed to get out. My finger knotted In his hair, pulling him closer. His lips moved from my mouth to my neck, trailing light kisses from my jaw to my collar bone. I moaned quietly as one of his hands reached under my shirt.

“Hm, I love it when you make sounds like that,” he whispered.

I could feel the smile he had on against my neck. I let my hands fall from his hair to his back, and I slowly began pulling up his shirt…

When the phone rang.

“Damn,” I muttered. “Billie, phone.”

“Let it ring. The machine will get it.”

“But,” I started. His lips found mine again, cutting me off.

“The machine will get it,” he mumbled again, pulling back a little. He smiled, his eyes a bright green.

The sight of his face was enough for me. I nodded, then sat up a little, so my lips could reach his. He laid us back down and I slid his shirt over his head.

“You know, we should take this upstairs,” he mused.

“I agree.”

“Oh!” I squeaked, as Billie Joe lifted me off the couch and into his arms. He began walking, holding me wedding style. I kissed his shoulder and under his jaw. “I love you.”

He smiled. “I love you too.”

We were just to the stairs when the answering machine came on. Truthfully, I’d forgotten that it had been ringing for the past minute.

It was quiet at first, all I could hear was breathing. I turned my attention back to Billie Joe, kissing him again. Then I heard his voice.

“Uh, Lisa, it’s Ethan. I told you I’d call you. Yeah. So, don’t kill Emilie, she wasn’t the one who gave me your number. Okay, well I guess you’re not there. Or you are there, staring at the answering machine, a shocked look on your face. Alright, sorry I missed you. I’ll call again later. Or, you could call me. Say hi to Billie Joe for me. Bye.”

He hung up and the machine told us we had one new message. I glanced up at Billie Joe, afraid of what I would see. I was kind of surprised when he didn’t look mad. In fact, he didn’t look…anything. His expression was blank. And not the carefully controlled blankness that I’d come to know. But just, blank. “Billie Joe?” His eyes shifted to me and he smiled. Okay?

“Where were we?” he asked, kissing me.

I put a hand on his chest to stop him from kissing me again. “You’re not mad?” I made into a question, because I just wasn’t sure. It’s like the calm before a storm. Everything is quiet, relaxed. Then, too late, everyone finally notices that all the animals are gone and it’s just a little too quiet. Then they look out the window and see the twister heading straight for their house.

“No, it’s a free country, he can call if he wants to.”

“But you’re not mad?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“I just told you why.”

“Okay?” My eyes narrowed a bit, speculating.

He smiled again, and it was a real smile. In fact it was his world famous smile that made me melt every time I saw it. “Honestly Lisa. I’m not mad. I know I don’t have to worry about him. I know that we love each other. That’s enough for me.”

This time it was turn to smile. I pressed my lips against his. “I do love you.” I paused, then kissed him again. “So much.”

Billie Joe carried me up the stairs and into the bedroom, kicking the door closed behind him. Then he gently laid me on the bed.

***

I turned off the nice hot water of the shower, and reluctantly stepped out. I went to grab my towel, when I noticed there wasn’t one there. “What the fuck?” I muttered to myself. I sighed, then bent down to open the cupboard where we kept other towels. The entire cupboard was empty. Nothing, not even a hand towel. Billie. It had to be him. Unless some fucking squirrel with an agenda had come in and stole the towels. I groaned, then decided to just pull on my clothes. I turned around to grab my clothes, and only my socks were there. I shook my head and walked over to the door and pulled it open a little.

I looked over at the bed. And there he was. Sitting there, holding all my clothes. “Billie.” I scowled at him, then held out my hand. “Give me a towel.”

“No.” He smiled as he said this, obviously pleased that his scheme had worked, so far anyway. “If you want something to cover up with, then you’ll just have to come out here and get it.”

“You’d just love it if I did. And trust me, normally, I wouldn’t hesitate, but it’s cold out there, and I know that if I go out there, you’ll grab me and kiss me and we’ll end up having sex again. And not that I’m against that, but I just got a shower.”

“I know, and it’s weird that you didn’t hear me come in. I’m not the quietest person on the planet.”

I glared.

“You’re so cute when you’re mad.”

I sighed. “Fine, I’ll come out and get clothes,” I started, when a light bulb flashed in my mind. “In a second,” I finished, closing the door again. I turned to grab the mat that’s usually on the floor. “Fuck! He got that too.”

I opened the door again and Billie was smiling. He reached behind him and produced the shower mat. “Sorry, babe. But, I’ve known you for almost a year now. I know how your mind works.”

I frowned. “Oh, whatever, I’m coming out and if we end up having hot, passionate sex again, well then so be it.”

Billie Joe laughed and straightened up a little. Eager.

I opened the door and walked over to the closet, my back facing him. And in about 5...4...3...2...1...yup. A pair of tattooed arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me against Billie Joe’s chest. “Billie, we just had sex, like twenty minutes ago.”

“Exactly, twenty minutes ago, which is almost a half hour, which, if you double that, becomes an hour. It’s been a long time.”

I laughed at his reasoning and turned around to face him. I kissed him softly, my hands going to his chest. “Sorry, Billie Joe.” I went to pull back, but his arms tightened on my waist. Now, instead of just resting on my hips, his arms were completely around me. I struggled a little. “Damn you for being stronger than me.”

“Life’s a bitch.” He grinned and kissed me again, this time the kiss was deep. He back us up to the bed, and spun us around so that the backs of my knees were touching the bed. He pushed and we collapsed onto the mattress with a soft thud.

I giggled. “Graceful pair are we.”

“Of course.” he leaned back, his eyes searching mine.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, suddenly worried.

“I just wanted to make sure that I wasn’t forcing you.”

I smiled at his consideration. “And that’s one of the reasons why I love you.” I pulled him back down and kissed the tattoo that Billie had gotten about month ago. It was a red outline of a heart that had our names in it. “You’re not forcing me.”

“Good.” he leaned down and kissed my chest, just above my right breast. Then he slowly trailed kisses down to my stomach.

My hands found his shirt. It had been pulled up when he kissed my stomach. I traced the smooth skin their, my fingers creating mindless patterns.

Billie Joe moved back up to my lips pressing a sweet kiss onto them. And I had just gotten his shirt over his head and the button on his jeans undone when the phone rang again. Shit.

Billie Joe’s hand reached over and picked up the receiver. “Hello?” He sighed. “Yeah, hold on, she’s right here.” He handed the phone to me, and mouthed Ethan.

Fuck. “What,” I asked, when I’d put the phone to my ear.

“I told you I was going to call you again.”

“Yeah, well too bad you stuck to your word.”

“Ouch.”

I stifled a moan as Billie Joe’s hands traced my thighs. I looked down at him as he kissed lightly up and down my legs. “Billie, stop.”

He rolled his eyes up to meet mine and smiled. “Fine.”

I laughed. I motioned for him to come lay beside me.

“Is this a bad time?” Ethan asked.

“What? Oh no. Um, I was just answering a question that Billie Joe had.” I suppressed a giggle as I said this.

Billie Joe smiled and began grazing his fingers over my arm.

That when I remembered that I had no clothes on. “Billie, can you get my something to put on?” I whispered, my hand covering the speaker on the phone.

He came back a moment later with one of his shirts. “Thank you,” I mouthed. I don’t why but I really didn’t feel like being naked while I talked to Ethan. I’m funny like that.

“Now, what do you want Ethan?”

“To talk to you.”

“That’s it? To talk?”

“Yep.”

“Well, you’d better talk fast, because this is the only chance you’re going to get.”

He laughed. “Okay, well then I’d better make this short and sweet.”

“How about just short?”

“Are you sure you don’t want the sweet part?” His voice had dropped in tone a little and had become husky.

“I’m hanging up.”

“No! Don’t. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I called to propose an idea to you.”

“Oh really, and what’s that?” I looked over at Billie and rolled my eyes.

He just smiled and hopped off the bed. “I’m going to go get the mail.”

I nodded.

“Okay, here’s what I’ve been thinking,” Ethan said. “I think we should be friends.”

“I know you think that. And I’ve already told you that it’s not going to happen.”

“Why?”

“Because you annoy me.”

“I don’t think that’s it.”

“Huh. Well, okay. Then how about because you’re an asshole? That work better for you?”

“Wow, hostile. No, I think it’s because you know that if you gave me a chance, you’d find out that you like me.”

I snorted. “I highly doubt it.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, really.”

“Sure.”

“It’s true. There is no way that I could ever be friends with you.”

“Okay. You just keep telling yourself that, and maybe you’ll actually start to believe it.”

“I do believe it, because it’s true!” I scowled at the sheets on the bed. What is with this guy? Was he born just to be a pain in my ass?

“Huh, well in my opinion, you’re being way too defensive about this particular subject.”

“I’m not being defensive. I am simply trying to get it through your thick fucking skull that I could never be friends with you!”

“Can’t be friends or don’t want to be friends?”

“Don’t’ want to.”

“The only reason why you’re saying that is because Billie Joe is in the same room.”

“Actually, he’s not anymore. He went to get the mail.”

“Ah.”

“Yeah, so I have no reason to lie about anything. Not that I would anyway.”

“Come on, at least let me try to be friends with you.”

“No.”

“Why? Is there some rule that says that if you have a boyfriend you can’t have other friends who are men?”

“No, I have friends who are men.”

“Besides Mike and Tré?”

“Yes! Besides Mike and Tré. See, this is what I mean. You make it impossible for anyone to be nice to you. Or to even want to be nice to you.”

“Alright, I’m sorry. I’m sure you have other friends who are men. And I’m sure that Billie Joe wouldn’t try to stop you from having guy friends.”

“No, he wouldn’t.” I sighed again. “Asshole,” I muttered under my breath.

“I heard that.”

I blushed. Can you believe it? I fucking blushed! “Good,” I hissed. “And you know what? I’m hanging up now.”

“If you do, I’ll just have to come by your house and talk to you.”

“You wouldn’t fucking dare.”

“Actually, I would. I like you. And I want to get to know you better.”

“Fuck off.” I hung up and tossed the phone to the other side of the bed.

He wouldn’t actually come here, would he? I chewed on my lip, trying to figure out the answer. Oh, who the hell am I kidding? Of course he would. He’s just that kind of guy. I stood up and pulled on my clothes, then headed downstairs to find Billie Joe. I walked into the kitchen and there he was, sitting on one of the stools, drinking coffee. “Hey.”

“Hey. How did the phone call go?”

“I’m irritated.”

He smiled and stood up to hug me. “Good. If you weren’t, I might have a reason to worry.”

I scoffed at his joke. “You will never have a reason to worry about something like that. I promise.”