The First Cut is the Deepest

At the pub crawl was when I finally told everyone.

"Hey, guys," I said as I got everyone's attention. Everyone looked at me in expectation. "So the reason why I wanted to do a pub crawl tonight is, well, it's my birthday today," I finally said. It was quiet for a few seconds before they all burst into cheers.

"Happy birthday, Nicole!" Chris said loudly, followed by birthday cheers by James and Sara. "Why didn't you tell us?" he asked as he wrapped his arms around me and gave me a big hug.

"Yeah, why didn't you tell us?" James asked. I shrugged as Chris pulled away from me.

"I don't know. I felt kind of embarrassed..." I said. And it was kind of true.

"If you had told us earlier, we could have gotten you gifts," Sara said.

"Nah, it's okay. You guys don't have to do that," I said.

"Too bad. We're all getting you gifts," Chris said with a laugh.

"Do I have to give her a gift?" Will asked and Chris punched his arm.

"Of course you do," he said. Will sighed.

"Fine. If I must. Only because it's your birthday, so... happy birthday," Will said. And what he did next completely shocked me. He smiled at me. Will smiled! At me! Albeit, it was a small smile, but it was smile nonetheless. I couldn't hide my shock as I pointed at his face.

"He smiled at me..." I murmured as I pointed to his face. His smile instantly dropped and was replaced with a scowl. He took a sip from his beer and I turned to Chris. "He smiled at me!" I repeated louder. Chris laughed as he patted Will's back.

"Well, I guess he did." We all laughed as Will just sulked.

"Okay, that's it. That was your birthday present then," Will finally said.

"What? That's my birthday present? No fair! I want something you have to pay for!" I said loudly. Oops... I didn't mean to say that last part out loud. I quickly covered my mouth as Will glared at me. Chris, James, and Sara tried to stifle their laughter. "I mean, your smile is a wonderful gift. Thank you," I said quietly. Will scoffed and took another sip of his beer.

"That's what I thought..." he muttered.

We spent the next few hours at a few pubs. Since it was Friday, we were free to stay out later and not have to care about a hangover in the morning for school. Also since Annabella wasn't with us tonight, I realized how Will was really like around his friends. He looked like he was having fun with everyone and he was just joking around. Not that I was saying that he didn't have fun when Annabella was around. It was just whenever she was around, his focus was always on her. I understand they've been together for years, but still. I just found it interesting to see the difference.

As I thought about Will and Annabella, I realized that I liked spending time more with Will instead of Annabella. Despite our usual fighting and such, spending time with him sounded much more appealing than hanging out with Annabella. And recently, since Will and I have been getting along quite well, I would definitely pick him over her.

As we entered the last pub for the night, I watched as Will checked his cell phone. I noticed a faint smile starting to form on his face. I assumed it was Annabella. I looked away from him and offered to pay for the first round for everyone. I was starting to get this weird feeling in my stomach. I had no idea what it was, but I wanted it to stop.

When we got back to the dorms that night, I couldn't stop myself from looking at Will. I mean, of course, he was attractive. Never did I think though that I would enjoy looking at him this much. And not only was he gorgeous, but tonight really helped me realize how he was actually kind of a pretty decent guy. He's cute, he's funny, and he's nice. Well, he's nice when he wants to be. When he does want to be though, he was pretty cool. I tried to stop those thoughts and those weird feelings in my stomach, but it was just too hard to resist.

I finally shook my head of all those thoughts and got ready for bed.



By Thursday the following week, everyone had dropped by my room to drop off my birthday presents. Annabella also dropped off a gift even though she wasn't there when I told them it was my birthday. I got a penguin pillow pet from Chris, a few body sprays from Annabella, Sara got me a cute dress, and James got me a few books that I mentioned that I wanted. All of which were great presents, I might add.

During those days though, I tried to think everything over. No matter how much I didn't want to, I had to think over the situation with Jason. And not only Jason, I had to think over the situation with Chris. Of course Chris liking me would make everything complicated. And to add to my anxiety, I had to think over those stupid weird feelings in my stomach. I didn't know if it was from something that I was eating or something, but I would always get a weird feeling in my stomach. I would usually get that feeling when I was with Will or something like that. I figured it was disgust or something, but I was all too familiar with that feeling with Jason, so I assumed that it wasn't that. I honestly had no idea what these feelings were though and I wasn't sure if I wanted to find out.

The only thing that really helped me to distract myself from all these confusing thoughts and feelings was school. So for as long as I could, I tried to stay in the school buildings, the school library, and the PJY room as long as possible. I would wake up early and then come back to the room late, anything to avoid Chris and Will. By spending so much time in the library, I finally got to meet Annabella's roommate, Travis. He was quiet, reserved, and he seemed really shy. If I was Annabella, I would have been bored out of my mind if he was my roommate. Since I wasn't her though and I was me, plain old Nicole, he was pretty cool. Quiet, like I said, but once you start to get him to talk, he was okay to be around with.

So like I've been doing for the past few days, I woke up early and got ready for school. And since I've been spending a lot of my time at the library and such, I've been doing really good in my school work. I left the room and made my way to the school building. Right as I got to my locker, the bell rang. I grabbed my book and entered my first period class. I sat down in my seat and waited for everyone. After class started, the teacher gave back our English test from last week on my birthday.

"Cool. I passed with flying colors," I said as I held up my paper in happiness.

"You got a B-," Will stated as he glanced over at my paper. I glared at him as I moved my paper down from his view.

"Close enough," I replied. He rolled his eyes as he received his own paper back. "What'd you get?" I asked. He showed me his test.

"An A, of course," he stated matter-of-factly.

"Smart-ass," I muttered as I put my test away into my bag.

"It's not my fault you're stupid," Will said as he put his own test away.

"Ha-ha," I said dryly. "It's not my fault. It was my birthday, so I didn't have to try that day," I said sarcastically. He rolled his eyes at me again and we both faced forward to pay attention in class.



The day went by with not much happening. Well, minus the constant appearance of Jason and his little bitch, Tracy. Other than that though, the day had been going fairly okay so far. Right after school ended, I made my way to the PJY room. Like I said earlier, I was trying to avoid spending too much time with Chris and Will for a while. When I got there, I was greeted to see Marissa typing away on the computer. She stopped what she was doing when she saw it was me who entered the room.

"Just who I wanted to see!" she exclaimed while she stood up from her seat.

"O-kay..." I said slowly as I cautiously entered the room. "What's up?" I asked.

"So those pictures you took for the tryouts..."

"What about them?"

"They're great!" she said with a smile. I smiled back at her.

"Thanks," I said.

"Which is why I'm putting you in charge of the pictures for the rugby team." I looked at her in question.

"Why?" I asked curiously.

"For the yearbook, of course!"

"Oh. Right," I said. Of course it was for the yearbook. "But just the rugby team?"

"Yeah, we have other people covering the other clubs," she explained. I nodded.

"Do you want me to start now?" I asked. She nodded eagerly. "Oh okay. Well, I guess I'll get to it then," I said as I left the room.

As I made my way to the field, I realized at that moment that I would be spending a lot more time around Will and Chris then I expected. I grunted to myself as I made it to the field. And, of course, they took off their shirts. Why did they have to take off their shirts? They should know I can't hide my drool when they do that! I sighed and sat down on the bleachers. A few minutes into taking pictures of them, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I jumped and turned to the person who tapped me.

"Oh, it's just you," I said to Chris.

"Why? Were you expecting someone else?" he asked with a smile.

"I'd rather it be you than Jason. Or Tracy for that matter," I said. He laughed.

"More pictures for PJY?" Chris asked. I nodded.

"Yup. Apparently, I'm assigned to take pictures of the rugby team for the yearbook."

"Sounds like fun. So that means you get to spend more time around me," Chris said with a wink.

"Oh, yeah, huh?" I asked awkwardly. I held my camera up to my face and took more pictures. I also needed it to cover up the blush that was slowly creeping up my face.

"Well, I gotta head out there," Chris said as he pointed his thumb over his shoulder at the field.

"Yeah, aren't you late?" I asked.

"I'm always late," he said with a laugh.

"How the hell are you co-captain then?"

"Because I'm good at rugby," he said with a cheeky smile.

"And how about Will? Why is he the captain?"

"Because he's even better," he said right before he jogged out to the field. I watched as he jogged to the team and I saw Will smack his head, scolding him. I could see a smile on Chris' face. I laughed to myself. I assumed Chris was telling Will why he late once again, because he started pointing in my direction. Will turned his head to me and he had a confused look on his face. I awkwardly waved at him and he quickly turned his head away. I shrugged and continued taking pictures.



"Did you enjoy the show?" Will asked me when we got back to the room after their rugby practice had ended.

"Very much. Did you enjoy the attention?" I asked back with a wink.

"From the likes of you? No," Will said. I scoffed at him.

"Sure..." I said sarcastically. "You guys all love the attention from a pretty girl." This time, Will scoffed at me.

"Pretty? Whatever makes you sleep at night." I glared at him and set my camera down on my bedside table. "If anything, Chris was the only one who wanted attention from you," he said. I looked at him in question.

"What are you talking about?" I asked him as I sat on my bed.

"Oh, come on. Don't tell me you didn't notice it," Will said as he set his gym bag near his bed.

"Notice what?"

"Chris! He was showing off the whole time, trying to get your attention!"

"Yeah, right!" I said, trying to brush it off as nothing.

"I'm serious! He was trying so much to get your attention that he was barely paying attention to practice." I shrugged.

"That's not my fault," I said.

"He likes you. So therefore, it is your fault." It still felt weird knowing that Will knew that Chris liked me.

"That's stupid logic."

"So?" Will asked back with a shrug. I think a bit of me was rubbing off on him, because that sounded like what I would say. I rolled my eyes at him as I grabbed a shirt and a pair of gym shorts. I changed in the bathroom and then flopped onto my bed when I was done. I grabbed my laptop and went online. "What happened to you studying all the time?" Will asked me. I shrugged.

"I don't know. Maybe it passed," I said with a laugh. Will laughed along with me. Yeah, I know, weird. I was still trying to get used to that. I snuck a glance up at Will from my laptop. I know I've probably said this before, but the way he laughed, it was quite attractive. Not that I mean to say it in a weird creepy observant way though. His laugh was deep and, well, warm. I quickly looked back at my laptop when he almost caught me staring at him. That would have been awkward. Right as Will went to the bathroom to shower, I started typing up an email to Erin.





After I got out of the shower, I pulled on a pair of boxers and sweatpants. I draped my towel around my neck as I towel dried my hair. I left the bathroom and found the yankee still on her laptop, typing away. She had her tongue stuck out in concentration. I smiled to myself, but instantly stopped when I realized what I was doing. I sat on my bed, facing her, and observed her.

"What are you doing?" she asked without looking up.

"What are you talking about?" I asked back.

"You're staring at me. I can feel your eyes poking into my side. It hurts," she said before she finally looked up. When she did, she instantly held her hands up to shield her face. "Gah! Put on a shirt, Will! Your abs are too much for me! I might take advantage of you in your sleep!" she exclaimed. I covered myself with my towel.

"Perv..." I muttered. The yankee had been making a lot of jokes like that lately. I don't know if it was all just in my head, but almost every time after she made a joke like that, she would wink at me. I couldn't help, but feel weird when she did that. I always felt that rush of embarrassment on my face when it happened. She has got to stop doing that. I sighed before getting up and putting a white tank top on. "What's with all the jokes?" I finally asked her.

"What jokes?" she asked.

"All the dirty jokes you've been saying about my body and such."

"Ohh... Those jokes... Yeah, jokes..." she said with an awkward laugh. I looked at her funny. "It's just that I've gotten used to you. So I feel comfortable making, uh, jokes like that," she said.

"Uh-huh..." I replied in disbelief.





I glanced up at Will and it looked like he didn't believe me with what I said about those 'jokes'. He didn't say anything about it though and instead went and put his towel away. I sighed in relief as I went back to typing up my email to Erin. I would not tell Will that I wasn't joking and that I was somewhat serious about those... 'jokes'. Nor would I tell him that I seriously thought he was incredibly attractive. Because that would just make things even more weird, especially since Chris liked me and all. Which reminded me, I had to fix that problem. Okay, well, I wouldn't go as far to call it a problem, but more like a sticky situation. Yeah, that. No matter what though, I had to fix it soon.



I woke up the next day and I checked the alarm clock that I plugged in last week. I gasped as soon as I saw the time. I woke up half an hour before school started. I quickly threw my covers off me and looked over at Will's bed. He was still in bed as well. My alarm clock was supposed to wake him up also.

"Will!" I hissed. "Wake up! We're gonna be late for class!" I said as I got up from my bed.

"Mhm..." he moaned as he rolled over onto his back.

"Wake up! Look at the time!" I said while I held up my clock to show him. He lazily looked over at the clock. It took him a whole five seconds before his eyes bulged open. He jumped out of his bed.

"What the bloody hell?! Why didn't your alarm go off?!" he asked.

"I don't know!" I exclaimed, putting the alarm clock back on my bedside table. "Anyways, we have to hurry up and get ready." I quickly grabbed my clothes and rushed towards the bathroom.

"Wait!" Will said. "You take too long in the loo! Let me go first!" I slammed the door shut on his face as soon as the last word left his mouth. I quickly did my morning routine and then changed into my uniform. As I was buttoning the buttons on my shirt, Will banged on the bathroom door loudly. "Come on, hurry up! You take forever! I have to use the loo also!"

"Alright, alright. Shut your mouth," I said as I did the last button. I opened the door quickly and was surprised to come face to face with Will with only about three inches between us. Well, technically face to chest, but you get my point. "Oh!" I said in surprise. It wouldn't have been so bad if Will was wearing a shirt. You see though, he wasn't wearing a shirt. I blushed as I moved past him and he went into the bathroom. "Sorry..." I mumbled in embarrassment. He responded with closing the bathroom door behind him. Well, that was embarrassing. Good view, but still embarrassing. I shook my head and continued to rush to get ready. I glanced at the clock. We had about ten minutes until class started. "Will, hurry up! We gotta go or we're gonna be late!" I said as I grabbed something to eat. I grabbed two muffins, one for me and one for Will, and wrapped them both in saran wrap. When I grabbed my bag, Will had left the bathroom, the first two buttons of his shirt unbuttoned and his tie undone. "Hurry up before I leave you," I said as I put the muffins in my bag. He didn't bother to reply as he rushed to get his things together. I stood near the door, all ready to go, waiting for him. "You know, I'll just wait at the elevator," I said as I left the room. I heard a grunt from him as I closed the door. I made my way to the elevator and pressed the down button. I checked my phone for the time and we had seven minutes before class started. I tapped my foot impatiently on the carpet flooring. The elevator dinged and I entered it, holding the door open for Will. After what seemed like forever, he finally emerged from our room and quickly made his way down the hall towards me. "About time," I said as he entered and the doors closed behind him.

"Shut up," he said. "It's your fault we're late."

"It's not my fault. It's the alarm clock's fault."

"But it's your alarm clock, therefore, it's your fault," he said, fixing his tie. I rolled my eyes.

"Like I said yesterday, that's stupid logic," I said. He shrugged.

"We still might be late though," he said.

Right as we passed the third floor, I heard a rumbling noise come from the right of me. I looked up at Will. He looked away sheepishly. I laughed and grabbed one of the muffins from my bag. "Here," I said, handing it over to him. He hesitantly took it from my hand. "Since we both didn't have breakfast."

"Thanks," Will said. I nodded.

"No problem," I replied. The elevator dinged again and the doors opened. As soon as those doors opened, we both bolted to the school building. We parted ways when we had to go to our lockers first. "See you in class!" I said, going in the direction of my locker.

"Right back at you!" he replied as he went in the other direction.

I quickly grabbed my book from my locker and rushed to first period. I got there just in time for the second bell to ring. I sighed in relief and quickly took my seat next to Will. He already had his book turned to the right page. I could tell he didn't arrive that much earlier than me though, because I could hear a slight panting come from him. I opened my own book and the teacher started class.

After a good fifteen minutes, I heard another growling sound. This time, it wasn't from Will though. This growl was from me. I don't know what was more embarrassing. The fact that my stomach growled during class and all of the people in a three-foot radius heard it loud and clear or that it was even louder than Will's stomach growl in the elevator. I grabbed my stomach in embarrassment. "Be quiet!" I hissed to my stomach. I felt a nudge to the left of me. I looked up and Will had his muffin his hand.

"I won't tell if you won't," he whispered with a small smile. I slowly smiled back at him and grabbed my own muffin from my bag. And so, we both discreetly ate our muffins quietly as Mr. Matthews went over yesterday's English homework.