The First Cut is the Deepest

When I woke up the next day, I felt something warm wrapped around my body. I slowly opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was Will's chest. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion before I remembered what had happened. He told he loved me yesterday. I smiled at the thought of that. William Harper told me he loved me! Me! I snuggled further into his arms before I felt him stir. I looked up at his sleeping face and I couldn't help but think that I was actually this close to him. I slowly reached up and ran my fingers through his hair, pulling it back to reveal his scar right near his hairline. I bit my lip at the sight of it before I let his hair fall back into place.

I let out a small squeak of surprise as Will's eyes opened. I quickly went to retract my hand, but he was too fast for me and caught it with his hand. He brought my hand up to his face and placed a small kiss on the back of my hand. I blushed at the small gesture. He let go of my hand and pulled me closer to him before he placed a kiss on my forehead.

"Good morning," he murmured when he pulled away. I couldn't stop the grin that made its way onto my face.

"Good morning," I replied. "It's Saturday, right?" I asked and Will laughed. My body shook with his laughter.

"Yes, it's Saturday," he replied. I nodded in understanding. I leaned up and glanced over Will at my alarm clock. "I don't know when my mom is stopping by. It could be any time now," I said. I moved to get up, but his grip on me tightened. There was no way in hell that I could have possibly gotten out of his grip all by myself. "Will!" I whined.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" he whispered in my ear. I shivered at the feeling of his breath on my ear. I leaned back and looked at him.

"What?" I asked stupidly. He rolled his eyes at me before he leaned forward and pressed his lips against my own. I felt myself smile in his kiss. It was weird to think that I was actually kissing Will. When he pulled away, I was left dumbfounded. "Uh..." I started. I didn't even know what I was going to say. He laughed before he leaned forward again and placed a quick peck on my lips. He pulled away from me and stood up from my bed. He stretched his arms over his head and I couldn't help myself as I watched his shirt ride a bit, revealing his bare hip. Well, damn. He was a hot son of a bitch. And I grinned at the thought that he was now mine. Despite all the shit we had been through, he was now mine.

"Stop staring, pervert," Will said as he dropped his arms. My mouth dropped at what he said.

"I am not a pervert!" I exclaimed. I could feel the blood rush up to my cheeks though.

"Yeah, you are," he replied with a smirk as he walked into the bathroom. I glared at the closed door before I rolled over in my bed. Even though we were now considered to actually be dating, it seemed as if Will wasn't really going to change. I had a feeling he was still going to be an ass and tease me every now and then.

I got up from my bed and grabbed my cell phone. There was a text from my mom saying she would be stopping by in a few hours. I had another text and it was from Chris. He was asking if I was alright and if it was okay if he could come up and see me. I smiled at the thoughtfulness of him. I texted him back saying that I would be really happy if came to see me. He texted me again saying he would be here in a few minutes.

I glanced down and noted I was wearing only a tank top and shorts. I grabbed a random sweater from my wardrobe and pulled it over my body. While I waited for Chris, I took my iron pills with a glass of orange juice. By now, Will had left the bathroom and he was now making breakfast.

"Are you making some for me too?" I asked excitedly as I walked into the kitchen. He rolled his eyes at me, but nodded. "Yay!" I cheered as I came up behind him. "Cook a lot. I'm hungry." I pulled myself up and sat on the counter next to Will. Right when I was about to ask if the food was done yet, there was a knock on the door. "I'll get it," I said as I jumped down from the counter. I walked towards the door and opened it. Chris enveloped me in a hug before I could even say anything. I laughed and hugged him back. "Chris, I can't breathe," I said with a small laugh. He pulled away and held me at arm's length.

"How are you?" he asked. I laughed at that.

"I'm doing fine," I said with a smile.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," I said with another laugh. He stared at me for another second or two before he let out a sigh of relief. He let go of me and reached out behind him.

"I brought someone along, if you don't mind," Chris said as he brought the person into my view.

"Hayley!" I said in surprise. "Hi!" I said as I pulled her into a hug. When we pulled away from each other, she spoke up.

"Hi, Nicole. I heard what happened," she started. "and I hope you feel better now," she said with a smile. I smiled back at her.

"I feel a lot better now. Thank you," I said. "Come in," I said as I pulled them into the room. I shut the door behind them and led them to the kitchen where Will was still cooking.

"Hey, Chris," Will said. "Hi, Hayley." They both said hi to Will as Hayley and I sat down on stools. Chris continued to stand and I noted that he stood closer to Hayley than I would have expected. I raised my eyebrow at that, but didn't bother to question it at the moment. "Are you hungry?" Will asked as he started putting the food on plates.

"Nah, Hayley and I already ate," he said as he placed a hand on the small of her back. I watched as Hayley tensed up a bit at the touch, but eventually relaxed. I couldn't stop the grin that made its way onto my face. Well, wasn't that cute? Will nodded and set a plate in front of me along with a fork.

"Thank you!" I said excitedly as I dug into my food. Will nodded, a smile on his face as he continued to stand and started to eat his own food. From my peripheral vision, I could see Chris looking between Will and I.

"Okay, what happened?" he asked. Will and I glanced at each other with smiles on our faces before we looked at Chris. "Are you guys now..." he trailed off. He pointed between the two of us before he spoke up again. "You are! About time!" he exclaimed. He walked towards Will and pulled him into a bear hug, almost causing Will to drop his food. "That's great!" he said as he pulled away. "But if you hurt her again, Will, I'll kill you," he said jokingly as he patted Will on the back. There was an underlying tone of seriousness in it though. Hayley turned towards me before she spoke up.

"Congrats," she said with a smile. I smiled back at her.

"Thanks," I replied.

"Nicole, can we talk?" Chris asked suddenly. I looked at him then back at my food. "It won't take long," he said as he noticed my longing glance at my food. I eventually nodded and followed him to the couch. We both sat down and I waited for him to speak up. "So I want to clear the air," he said quietly. I nodded for him to continue. "While you were away, I accepted the fact that you'd never come to love me. So I'm trying to move on."

"Is that why you brought Hayley?" I asked just as quietly. Chris shook his head.

"It may seem like she's a rebound, but she's not. She's a sweet girl and I don't want her to simply be a rebound. Maybe I'll come to like her back or maybe I won't. I don't know. Right now, we're just friends and from there, we'll see what happens." I nodded in understanding. "Anyways, I'm glad that we can still be friends."

"The best of friends," I said with a grin. Chris grinned back at me before he replied.

"And now that you and Will are together, I just want to say that I was serious about what I said earlier. If he ever hurts you again, just say the word and I won't hesitant to kick Will's arse." I laughed at that. "Like always, you can always come to me if you ever have problems." I nodded at that as I leaned in to hug him.

"Chris, you're amazing. And if you ever do come to like Hayley and you guys end up together, you guys would be perfect for each other." I pulled away from him. "You guys deserve each other."

"I wish I could say the same thing about you and Will. I still don't think he deserves you," he said. I shrugged. "But if he can make you happy, then it's okay." I grinned at that.

"Can I go eat my food now?" I asked with a laugh. Chris chuckled at me and brushed me off with his hand.

"Yes, go," he said. I smiled at him one last time before I went back to my food.

"What was that about?" Will asked once I sat back down.

"Just talking," I said with a shrug. He hummed at me as he stood on the other side of me.

"Well, Hayley and I are going to leave you guys alone," Chris said as he came up behind me. Hayley jumped down from the stool and stood next to Chris. "Don't get too crazy," he said with a wink. I blushed at that. Both Hayley and Chris said their goodbyes as they left the room. I couldn't help but notice how Chris' hand was once again on the small of Hayley's back. Once the door was shut, I turned to Will.

"Did you see that?" I asked loudly. "They are so cute together!" Will rolled his eyes at me as he ate his food.



It had been a few hours and I was just waiting for my mom to stop by. While we waited, Will and I just watched TV. It was strange, because Will and I were cuddling on the couch. Cuddling! It felt so surreal. Finally, there was a knock on the door. Will got up and opened the door. My mom walked into the room, Eric trailing behind her and holding her hand. Eric ran towards me and hugged me.

"Nicole!" he said loudly as he pulled away.

"Hey, buddy!" I replied as he sat down next to me.

"And she speaks!" my mom exclaimed. "Nicole, let's talk now then," she said seriously. The smile on my face dropped as I looked up at her. I glanced at Will then back at Eric.

"Hey, Eric," Will started as he kneeled in front of him. "I'm Will. Do you like video games?" he asked. Eric looked up at our mom before he nodded eagerly at Will. "Alright, let's play a game then," he said as I stood up and he took my seat next to Eric. He turned his game console on and then they started to play. I walked towards my bed where my mom was standing and waiting for me.

"Nicole," my mom started quietly so Eric wouldn't hear us. "I've been thinking a lot about this. I'm not going to pull you out of school." I breathed out a sigh of relief. "But if this happens one more time, that's it. I'm taking you out of here and I'm bringing you right back to California where I can watch you."

"What about the... therapist thing?" I asked hesitantly. She sighed before she replied.

"I don't want to send you to therapy, honey. But with the way things are looking, it looks like I'm going to have to."

"Please, mom, no," I started.

"Do you know who has to clean up your blood when you do this?" she cut in suddenly. I quickly shut my mouth. "Huh, Nicole? Who?"

"I... I don't know..." I replied guiltily as I looked down.

"Me," she said. "Erin. Will. Damn it, Nicole! Do you have any idea what I have to say to your brother when I'm cleaning up your blood?"

"I don't..." I couldn't lift my head up and look her in the eyes.

"I'd say that I spilled something. And then he'd ask where you were and I'd say the hospital. He'd ask why and I'd say you got hurt. He's starting to doubt me. He's catching on. Do you have any idea how I'm supposed to deal with that?" I shook my head. I couldn't find my voice. "You need to stop this, Nicole. You're my daughter and I hate to see you like this. You're gonna kill yourself." I could hear the agony in her voice. Hearing your mom in such pain could do something to you. From my peripheral vision, I could see Will standing up and making his way towards me.

"Nicole..." Will cut in. I looked up at him and I flinched. The look on his face sent my stomach sinking. "Please..." he begged. I looked at my mom and she had a pleading look on her face. "Promise me you won't do this again," he said as he grabbed my hand and held onto it.

"O-okay..." I muttered quietly. I was pulled into a hug by Will.

"Nicole, I'm trusting you," my mom said when I pulled away from Will. "If this happens one more time, I'm sending you straight to therapy. No buts." I nodded at her.

"Mom, I'm so sorry. It'll never happen again," I said as I pulled her into a hug.

"You say that every time," she said in my ear. I held onto her tighter before I replied.

"I really mean it this time," I said. I pulled away from her and I didn't realize I had started crying.

"Hey, are you still playing with me, Will?" Eric chimed in cheerfully. I wiped my eyes before I looked at Will. I lightly pushed him towards Eric.

"Yeah, I'm still playing," he said with a smile as he walked back to the couch and grabbed his controller. He continued playing as I looked back to my mom. Her gaze was set on Eric and Will.

"He's a good guy," she stated. I scoffed at that.

"It only took him months to finally be nice to me," I said sarcastically. My mom turned towards me.

"He's nice to you now though, right?" she said. I nodded slowly as I looked at him.

"Yeah, kind of," I replied. I turned back to my mom when she laughed.

"Well, I trust him," she said. "I trust him to take care of you while I'm back in California."

"I... trust him too," I said as I looked at him.

"Well, Eric and I are going to leave now," my mom said as I turned my attention back to her.

"You're leaving already?" I asked.

"Yeah, we don't want to be late for our flight."

"It's so soon though," I said quietly. My mom held me at arm's length before she replied.

"Don't worry. In a few months' time, you'll be done with your junior year and you'll be right back at home for the summer with us," she said with a smile. I smiled back at her.

"Yeah, you're right." She pulled me into another hug before we pulled away and walked towards Eric and Will.

"Time to go, Eric, honey," my mom started.

"But we're in the middle of a game!" Eric whined. My mom sighed before she spoke up.

"Alright, well, make it quick. We have to leave." Eric and Will finished up their game before they both stood up and walked towards the door where my mom and I were waiting. "It was nice meeting you," my mom said as she shook Will's hand. "Take care of her," she said when she dropped his hand. Will nodded in response.

"Of course," he replied. I hugged my mom before I bent down to Eric's level.

"I'll see you in a few months, buddy," I said with a hug.

"Yup!" Eric said cheerfully as he hugged me back. I pulled away from him and stood back up.

We all quickly said our goodbyes. I told them I loved them and they said they loved me back. Then I told them I would walk them out of the school, but my mom said that that was unnecessary. I watched as they walked down the hall and into the elevator. As soon as the elevator doors were closed, I turned to Will and looked up at him.

"So you're going to take care of me, right?" I asked. He rolled his eyes as he walked back into the room. I followed him and shut the door behind me. "So are you?"

"Well, I said I would, didn't I?" he asked.

"Good," I started. "Because I'm hungry again," I said cheerfully as I latched onto his arm, looking up at him with puppy dog eyes. He rolled his eyes at me again before he headed towards the kitchen.

"Alright, fatty. I'll cook you something," he replied. I cheered happily as I sat in a stool in front of him and watched him cook.

As I watched him, I couldn't help but think over everything that happened between us. The first time we met, he absolutely hated me. Now, here he was, cooking food for me, his girlfriend. That he loved. That he actually loved. It was kind of odd, to be honest. It felt nice though. It was nice knowing that he loved me. And even though I did get that nagging feeling that I was the cause of Will and Annabella's break up, I was happy at the moment. I knew there was going to be tension between all of us because of that, but I hoped that everything would turn out fine in the end. I also did feel terrible about breaking Chris' heart, but I also hoped that he would start to develop feelings for Hayley like she had for him.

I sighed happily as I swung my legs back and forth on the stool. Even though Will was kind of an ass most of the time, he did have his moments. I thought back to when I nearly fell down the stairs and when he caught me. And how now, I was almost certain that he was the one that shouted my name when I passed out. And then I thought of the words he said when he gave me my iron supplements.

"Just... don't scare me like that again."

I grinned as I thought back to it. He even cared enough about me then. Will set down a plate of food in front of me and he sat down in the stool next to me, a plate of his own in front of him.

"Here," he said.

"Thank you," I said as I faced him. He was about to eat a forkful of food before he took a quick glance at me.

"What?" he asked as he lowered his fork. I grabbed the front of his collar and planted a kiss on his lips. When I pulled away, I noticed his cheeks were a slight pink color. Aw, I just made Will blush.

"I love you," I said with a big smile. He coughed nervously as he turned back to his food. He picked up his fork again before he spoke up.

"I only made you food..." he muttered quietly. I giggled and started to eat my own food. Right as I put a forkful of food in my mouth, Will leaned over and kissed my cheek. "I love you too," he said quietly as he pulled away and stuffed food into his mouth with that same blush still on his face. I couldn't stop myself from grinning. It was weird to see this side of him, but I liked it as well. And I had a feeling that I was going to see more sides of him.

I had my fair share of heartbreak and after all that, I finally found someone who I could love. That person was Will. And nothing from my past could tear us apart. Not even the fact that Jason and Tracy were in England could affect what Will and I had. Thinking back on it, it was stupid to worry so much about them. They were from my past. And like I said, I wasn't going to let anything or anyone from my past mess this up. And not even my cutting habit could tear us apart. I wouldn't let it. Because now that I was with Will, I knew that I would never cut myself again. There was no point to it anymore. I was with someone who really loved me. And cutting not only hurt me, but it also hurt the people that I loved and the people who loved me. And even though I was full of problems, Will accepted that. Albeit, it took time, but he accepted me and all my problems and I was never going to take that for granted. And I know we will have problems all our own, because every couple does. I also know that we will work past them though. Because I loved Will and he loved me. Nothing else mattered to me now. And as lame and corny as it sounded, I thought that love conquered all.

And that's my story of how I got to know and love William Harper, the one I was willing to end my life for.