The First Cut is the Deepest

By the time I knew it, it was already Friday. It was around noon and I was in the bathroom, changing into some casual clothes. I changed into a pair of black skinny jeans and a dark blue long sleeved V neck shirt. And, of course, I had a black wristband to cover up my left wrist. I looked myself over in the mirror and smiled in satisfaction. I left the bathroom to see Will, Annabella, Sara, and James in the room.

"Hey," I said as I walked towards my bed.

"Oh, Nicole!" Annabella said when she saw me. I sent her a small smile. "We're going out tonight. Do you want to tag along?" she asked. I shook my head.

"Sorry, but I'm hanging out with Chris tonight. He's going to show me around here," I said.

"Ohh..." Annabella said in understanding. I think she misunderstood what I was saying though. "So you and Chris, huh?" she asked, a smirk making its way across her face. So yes, she did misunderstand what I was saying.

"No. It's not like that. We're just friends," I explained.

"Uh-huh..." Annabella said sarcastically. I rolled my eyes at her, but didn't bother to reply to her.

I glanced over towards at James and Sara who were both sitting on the couch. As I watched them, I noticed they were eyeing each other up. I glanced at Will and Annabella and they were in the kitchen, talking and laughing. Of course, they snuck a few kisses with each other. I rolled my eyes at them. It seemed they didn't even notice what was going on with James and Sara. I walked towards the couch and stood in front of James and Sara.

"So are you guys dating or something?" I asked bluntly. It looked like they both needed a little push. Both of their eyes widened in shock at the suddenness of the question. Sara was the first one to speak.

"What? No," she quickly said, waving her hands in front of her.

"Why not?" I pushed. "I mean, it looks like you both like each other," I said. James and Sara glanced at each other before looking up at me with a blush clearly evident on both of their faces.

"I..." James started, but it looked like he didn't know how to finish that sentence.

"I'll leave you two alone to ask each other out," I said with a small laugh as I walked back over to my bed. From the corner of my eye, I saw them both break out into small laughter. Then I saw James' lips move and he was probably mumbling. The blush on Sara's cheeks deepened as they entwined fingers with each other. I smiled to myself. I just matched a perfect pair. My work here was done.

I grabbed a black jacket from the wardrobe and tossed it onto my bed before I walked into the kitchen. I grabbed a Pop-tart from the cupboard and started eating it. From the corner of my eye, I could see Will giving me that same look again like he was judging me.

"You eat so much," Will commented. I ignored him and continued eating the Pop-tart.

"Will!" Annabella gasped out. "Never say that to a girl!" she scolded as she smacked his arm.

"It's true..." he muttered. I shrugged it off.

"I have to eat every so often or else I'll pass out," I said, taking a bite of the Pop-tart.

"Why's that?" Annabella asked.

"My body's pretty fragile. If I don't eat anything, I get weak. My body somehow loses its nutrients, so I have to eat every so often," I explained.

Since I cut, it was just like after giving or donating blood, you get light-headed or pass out if you don't eat anything or something or if you move around too much. I lose blood, so I have to eat a lot more and not move around that much, or else I would pass out.

"Oh..." Annabella said, slightly taken aback at my explanation. Will didn't say anything, but just nodded in understanding. I finished up my Pop-tart and grabbed a few granola bars from the cupboard to put in my bag. I grabbed my point and shoot camera that I brought along and put that in my bag as well.

Right as I put on my jacket, I heard a knock on the door.

"I got it," Will said as he made his way over to the door. He opened the door to reveal Chris. "Hey, mate," Will greeted him, doing the manly handshake/hug thing that guys usually did.

"Hey," Chris replied as he stepped into the room. He looked all around the room before he finally looked at me. I smiled and waved at him. He smiled back and made his way over to me, brushing past Will. "Ready to go?" he asked me. I nodded as I took a quick glance into my bag to check if I had everything.

"Yup, I think so," I replied. "I'll see you guy later," I said to no one in particular as we left the room. Chris and I didn't wait for any replies and made our way to the elevator.

"So..." Chris started as we waited patiently for the elevator. "You excited?" he asked me. I nodded my head energetically.

"I've always wanted to come here ever since I was a kid," I said.

"Well, now, it's like a dream come true for you," Chris said with a chuckle. I let out a laugh as we entered the elevator.

"You could say that," I replied. We arrived in the lobby and we both made our way out to the front of the school and off the school campus. "So where to first?" I asked Chris. He shrugged before replying.

"Where do you want to go?" he asked me. I shrugged as well.

"I don't know. That's why you're my guide. You are supposed to guide me. You pick where we go," I said. He nodded.

"Right. First things first then, we got to get a cab," he said and I nodded. As we stood on the street, I watched as cars passed us. From the corner of my eye, I saw Chris was just looking at me. "Don't just stand there! Show some more leg!" he said. My mouth dropped at what he said before I quickly shut it and shook my head.

"Oh, hell no," I said.

"Eh... It was worth a shot," he said with a goofy smile on his face. I couldn't help myself as a faint smile made its way onto my own face. Chris waved his arm around and we got a cab a few seconds later. We got into the cab and soon, we were on our way.


Throughout the day, Chris showed me lots of things. He was the perfect guide and I was the perfect tourist, because I took pictures of practically everything. During the tour, I got to know Chris a little better. He was actually a really cool guy to be around. I found out we shared a few interests here and there and his sense of humor was similar to mine. I had a feeling we were going to be great friends.

By sunset, we were already at the nearest pub. I sighed happily as Chris set a mug of beer in front of me.

"I love pubs..." I sighed again as I took a sip of my beer. Chris chuckled.

"You've barely been in here for ten minutes and you already love it? That's a true drinker," he said as he rose his beer up. I laughed.

"Yeah!" I exclaimed loudly, tapping my glass mug against his. He laughed before I spoke up again. "So..." I started. "What did the letter say?" I asked casually. I was actually curious. I saw his eyebrows scrunch up in confusion.

"Letter? What letter?" he asked. I rolled my eyes at his question. He got the letter only a few days ago. He couldn't have possibly forgotten about it already.

"Hayley's confession?" I reminded him. I saw a look of realization flash across his face before he spoke up.

"Oh right!" he exclaimed before he shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't read it," he said simply. I gaped at him.

"Are you serious? Why not?"

"Well, I haven't had time to read it," he said as he sipped his beer.

"Where is it now?" I asked him. Chris had to think about it for a few seconds before he pulled out his wallet. He opened his wallet and pulled out the envelope which was now folded into a smaller piece with visible wrinkles all over it. "Well, since you have it here, read it," I ordered him.

He rolled his eyes and unfolded the envelope from the many folds. He opened the envelope and pulled out the paper. I could tell it was handwritten from the lined paper she used. From the lighting on my side, through the paper, I could see a few paragraphs; maybe about three short paragraphs. I could see Chris' eyes quickly scanning over the paper. I continued to watch his face for any hints as to what she wrote. After a minute or two, he set the paper down on the table and looked up at me, his eyes wide with shock.

"S-she..." Chris tried to say.

"What? She what?" I urged him on.

"She's fancied me for... five years..." he trailed off, staring at me. I stared back at him, my eyes almost as wide as his. I quickly snapped out of it before I spoke up.

"Whoa," I started.

"Whoa is right," he said. It was quiet for a little bit before I spoke again.

"So," I started. "how do you feel about that?" I asked him.

"Whoa..." Chris replied. I rolled my eyes at him. I had a feeling it was going to take a while for him to get over his shock.

"Yes, we've already established that," I told him. He stared blankly at me before looking back down at the letter. "Listen," I started. Chris looked up at me before I continued. "Tonight, you are going to drink with me. You are going to put that letter back into the envelope and put it back into your wallet. After you've done that, we'll just pretend that you didn't read it yet. Then when we get back to school, you can be shocked as long as you want, just not now. And you'll tell Hayley about how you feel about the letter the next time you see her, alright?" I asked. He nodded as he put the letter away. He took a deep breath before he looked back up at me.

"Alright, let's drink," he said with a wide smile. I smiled back at him.

"Let's drink," I repeated, tapping our mugs together.



After the yankee left the room, I leaned closer to Ann. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer to me. Her back was turned to me, so she leaned back a bit.

"I miss having you as my roommate..." I muttered into her hair.

"I know," she replied and I could tell there was a small smirk on her face even without looking at her. I let out a small chuckle before I kissed the top of her head.

After about an hour of bumming it out in my room, we all decided to leave now. Everyone else was already changed out of their uniform, but I still hadn't changed yet. I got dressed quickly and soon we were all in the lift. As we waited for the lift to take us to the ground level, I noticed that James and Sara were holding hands. I looked at them in confusion. When in the hell did they get together? I nudged Ann softly and she looked up at me in confusion. I motioned my head towards James and Sara. Her eyes trailed over to them and she gasped softly.

"Aw..." she said as she looked up at me. "How cute," she said quiet enough for only me to hear. I couldn't help, but chuckle.

The lift finally brought us to ground to level and we all made our way to the multi-storey to get my car. We all decided to just watch a film at a cinema. After the film, we went to bum it out at a local pub. When we got to the pub, it was slightly crowded. Luckily, we got a booth in the back. I paid for the first round of beer. Sara wasn't drinking, because she was the designated driver for tonight. While I took a sip of my lager, Ann grabbed my arm and pointed in some other direction.

"Look," she said. I looked over where she was pointing and scowled. I looked just in time to see Chris put something in his back pocket and then smile brightly at the yankee.

"Ugh..." I said, turning my head away. Ann smacked my arm lightly.

"Oh, come on! Don't be like that. It's cute," she said. I looked at her incredulously.

"You're kidding me, right?" I asked, my words dripping with disbelief.

"What? Maybe Chris can finally settle with one girl. And she just might be that girl," she said. I looked back towards Chris and the yankee who were laughing for reasons I didn't know.

"Eh..." I said, shrugging and looking away. Ann rolled her eyes at me. "I don't feel like drinking here anymore. Let's go to another pub," I said, standing up.

"What? Why?" James asked before Ann or Sara could.

"I don't feel like drinking in the same pub as her," I said with distaste. I thumbed towards the yankee. Ann sighed heavily before speaking up.

"Can we finish this pint at least?" Ann asked. I sighed before I answered.

"Okay, fine," I said. "But we're leaving once we're all done."

After we finished our lagers, we all made our way out of the pub. I tossed my car keys towards Sara and she easily caught it. We all got in and Sara drove off to a different pub.



Needless to say, by the end of the night, Chris and I were a bit tipsy. By a bit tipsy, I mean, we were both drunk. After we left the pub, we grabbed a cab and made our way back to school. Luckily, we got to our dorm building without getting into trouble. We both got into the elevator and pressed the buttons for our floor. We departed at my floor while he stayed in the elevator to take him to his room, which was on the floor above mine.

I slowly stumbled out of the elevator and walked towards my room. I tripped over my own feet a few times, but I quickly caught myself. I reached my room and just stood there for a bit. As I searched my bag for my key, I couldn't help, but giggle.

After a few minutes of giggling and swaying slightly, I finally found my key card. I tried to slide my key card through, but in my drunken state, I couldn't do it properly. I leaned against the door for support as I struggled with my key card. I let out a small squeal as the door suddenly opened. I almost dropped to the ground if it wasn't for Will catching me in his arms.



After leaving the pub where Chris and the yankee were at, we went to another pub. We spent a few hours there before Sara drove us back to school. When we got back to the dorm and onto Ann and Sara's floor, Sara handed me back my keys before she went to her room for the night. I said goodnight to her before she said the same and closed the door.

I faced Ann when we got to her room door and pressed my lips against hers. "Goodnight..." I said against her lips. She smiled as she leaned up further on her toes.

"I love you," she murmured.

"I love you too," I kissed her one more time before I pulled away.

"Goodnight..." she said as bit her bottom lip before she closed the door. I nodded to her. With a smile plastered on my face, I walked towards the lift, where James patiently waited for me.

"Thanks, mate," I said as I entered the lift. James nodded as the metal doors soon closed and we were on our way to our floor. Ann, Sara, and Chris' rooms were on this floor, the sixth floor. While James, the yankee, and I were on the fifth floor.

The lift dinged quietly and the metal doors opened. James and I parted ways as he walked to his room on the right side and I walked to my room on the left side. We said goodnight to each other and entered our own rooms. As I closed the door behind me, I flipped the switch to the lights. The lights illuminated the whole room and I noticed it was empty. The yankee was probably still out with Chris.

I shrugged it off and went to the loo. After I brushed my teeth and changed into loose pajama bottoms, I settled into my bed. I didn't bother with a shirt and turned off the light and fell asleep.


I didn't know how long exactly after I drifted off to sleep, but I was suddenly woken up to hear a slight banging against the room door. I glanced over at the yankee's bed and saw it was still empty. I grunted as I got out of my bed. I glanced at the clock and it was nearly three in the morning. I was honestly angry that she had woken me up.

I walked towards the door and flung it open. My eyes widened suddenly when I realized she was leaning against the door for support. I quickly caught her in my arms before she hit the floor. She was giggling uncontrollably and her breath reeked of alcohol. I reeled back from the intense smell.

"Damn it, you stupid girl..." I muttered, dragging her up into a standing position.

"Oh my gosh! Will! How great it is to see you! Thank you for opening the door!" she babbled as I picked her up easily. She was as light a feather. I shut the door behind her after noticing faint scratches made from her key card on the door.

"Tsk, tsk..." I said as I shook my head. As soon as I laid her on her bed, she was out like a light. I noticed she had her key card still clutched in her hand. I tried to take the key card from the yankee's hand, but her grip on it was hard. I struggled with her for a few seconds until I finally got it out of her hand. I placed her key card on the bedside table next to her bed.

I stared down at the yankee with my eyes narrowed. I heard a light snoring noise start to come from her and I narrowed my eyes at her even more. After a few more seconds of glaring at her, she stirred. The yankee snorted loudly and then went back to lightly snoring. I looked at her in disgust as I kneeled next to her bed. I slowly brought my hand up and softly moved away her fringe from her face. And then I flicked her in the forehead, hard. Yeah, that's right, I flicked her.

The yankee's brown eyes opened wide. She looked around in slight confusion before a horrified expression made its way onto her face. I looked at her in confusion, but soon understood why she was horrified as she covered her mouth and shoved me out of the way. She stumbled over her bed and ran to the loo. She barely made it to the toilet before she honked up whatever was in her stomach. I could hear her in the room.

I got up slowly and walked towards the loo. Honestly, I was quite scared of what I might find. The door wasn't fully closed as the gap between the door and door frame let the light from loo enter the room. I pushed open the door with my foot and the door slowly opened all the way.

"Ugh..." I muttered in disgust. The yankee was hunched over the toilet, heaving up whatever she could. She continued to honk up a bit longer before I slowly walked towards her and bent down. I patted her back awkwardly. I didn't bother trying to hold her hair back as she held it back herself. She looked into the toilet and grunted.

"Eww..." she muttered more to herself.

She flushed the toilet and placed the toilet seat back down. She sat there for a bit, trying to catch her breath. I stood up and grabbed a glass from the kitchen. I filled it up with cold water and walked back to the loo. When I got back there, she quickly lifted back up the toilet seat and was honking again.

I set the glass of water on the counter, near the door. She finished up and flushed the toilet again. She set the toilet seat back down again as she sat down there a bit longer. When she was positive that she was done, she slowly stood up and walked to one of the sinks. She quickly washed out her mouth of, I assumed, the rancid taste. I picked up the glass of water and handed it to her.

"Here," I said as I looked away from her. From the corner of my eye, I saw her shocked expression. She quickly composed herself though and took the glass from my hand.

"Thanks..." she muttered with a raspy voice before she took a sip of water.

"Hm," I hummed in response. "You should take some aspirin in the morning for the pain you're going to have," I said.

"I can handle pain," she said as she looked down at the sink. I looked at her in confusion, but before I could ask, she spoke again. "But yeah. I'll be sure to do that," she said. She turned to her own medicine cabinet and opened it. She grabbed a small bottle and tried to open it. She was too weak and too tired to open it though. I grabbed the bottle from her small hands and popped off the cap for her. I handed the bottle back to her. "Thanks," she said as she tapped the bottle against her palm. I nodded in reply. Two pills fell out and she closed the bottle and put it back in the medicine cabinet. She brushed past me with the pills and the glass of water. I noticed she stumbled a bit as she walked. She set them on her bedside table before crawling into her bed. I turned off the bathroom light before walking towards my own bed.

"Get some sleep," I said simply, getting into my bed.

"Yeah, sure," the yankee said in a slightly slurred voice. About a minute passed before she spoke up. "Um, Will?" she asked.

"What?" I replied. It didn't sound as harsh as I intended it to be.

"Thanks," she muttered. I was a bit surprised, but then I quickly composed myself.

"S-sure..." I replied. I mentally kicked myself for the stutter.

She didn't say anything after that. She must have fallen back asleep. That left me with my thoughts. I thought about how fast she sobered up. I stared at her back for a while. Then I realized what I was doing and shut my eyes. I forced myself to fall back asleep.



As I laid in my bed, I realized that Will was being nice. He could have let me fall to the ground when he opened the door, but he didn't. He actually caught me. And not only did he get me water, he patted my back while I threw up to comfort me. Albeit, it was an uncomfortable pat on the back, but it was still a pat on the back nonetheless. He was actually being nice. Except when he woke me up a few minutes ago with a hard flick to the forehead. That wasn't very nice. It actually hurt. I reached up and felt my forehead. I mouthed an 'ow' to myself.

I felt that I sobered up quickly, but I was still a little out of it. I was sober enough though to feel completely embarrassed at what I said to Will when he opened the door and that I threw up in front of him twice. I cringed at the thought.

I thought back to my thanks to him and I smiled to myself as I heard him stutter. I never expected William Harper to stutter. I rolled over in my bed and noticed Will was facing me, his eyes closed shut. I couldn't help myself as I let my eyes rake over his topless body. To be honest, he had a really nice body and I was sure many guys were jealous of that and many girls wanted to see that. Then I realized that he must have carried me to my bed without a shirt on. And that thought alone made my cheeks flush with embarrassment.

Control yourself, Nicole!

I scolded myself as I forced myself to try to go to sleep.