I Only Want You for One Night

What am I doing, what am I doing, what am I doing?

You’re doing what you should have done the second your feelings surfaced, dickweed!

No, these feelings aren’t real, I just told Bill that to make him happy!

Why did you try to make him happy that way? You love him, of course!

As a brother! My brother! Nothing else

Goddamn moron, shut up! You don’t know what you’re talking about, I am the one who realizes emotions, you feel what you want to feel!

At that comment, my heart took a sledgehammer to my brain and shut it down for the night. I was controlled by emotions, doing everything I felt was right and nothing I didn’t.

Bill kissed the hollow of my throat gently as I tugged down his shorts, mildly shocked to find that my little brother was going commando.

Sick fucking tease…

I felt him smile behind his kiss as his tongue came out of its home and ran up along the length of my neck, “Thought genetics was only kind to you?”

Strangely enough, I had.

His slender fingers hooked into the waistband of my jeans. He pulled them down sharply. They fell off easily, and I felt him smile. I doubt there was ever a time in his life when he loved my baggy clothes more. I kicked out of them as best I could, hearing them fall off the bed.

He then went to work on my shirt while I ran my hand lazily over his hip and up his ribs. I felt goosebumps rise up all over his arms and chest as he pulled my shirt off entirely. I had heard the rumors; I knew what Bill liked, and vice versa, I’m sure.

He pulled my underwear off, having a bit of trouble keeping his hands steady. I got off of him for a moment to take them off fully, taking my place on top of his body the second they were off.

I felt his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallowed hard when I kissed his neck. I stopped and looked into his eyes, seeing a splash of fear.

“Bill, I know you already said yes, but if you don’t want-” my sentence was cut very short as he pressed his lips hungrily to mine, his hand gripping onto my shoulder hard.

“I’m more than a little nervous I’ll admit, but this is what I want, Tom, more than anything. Do what comes naturally to you.”

I nodded, but that was the problem. Nothing about gay sex came naturally to me. I was winging it, making it all up as I went along. I mean, I knew how to kiss someone, whether they were male or female, which is a perfect example of the word ‘duh,’ but girls and how to pleasure them was my alley and I knew that.

I let my hand wander down his body, tracing random figure eight’s and circles, my index finger travelling up his already hard dick, hearing Bill moan, seeing him arch his back. I swallowed and urged him to spread his legs apart, hoping I knew what I was doing.

When I started having my dreams, I went onto the internet, secretly, and looked up a ton of random gay porn videos and stories, hoping to terrify myself out of having the thoughts and feelings I was having.

I had scared myself into nothing except never being a taker.

I had learned, however. For one thing, the giver did not have to have the taker on his stomach. If arched up properly, the entrance (I wouldn’t say hole to save my life) was clearly reachable and therefore gay sex can be possible while the taker is on his back.

I looked that one up because I couldn’t figure out how the fuck they could kiss while screwing. I just thought all gay guys had owl anatomies and could turn their head around.

I tried to talk Bill through it a bit. “You are going to have to lift your ass up a bit.”

“I don’t have to flip over?”

I sighed. “Just trust me on this, okay? I’m doing what comes naturally.”

He nodded and did as he was told. I crossed my fingers and positioned myself. I made a worried face and did what came naturally: straight on in.

Bad idea, such a bad idea.

Bill immediately cried out in pain, tears pouring out of his eyes. I pulled out urgently, pulling him up to me in a hug.

“Oh mein gott, oh mein gott, I am so, so sorry Bill, I never meant to hurt you, I am so sorry!”

He shook his head. “Don’t be sorry, you didn’t know. It just… it hurt so bad, Tomi.” He started crying again.

I held onto him tighter. “Bill, I… I don’t know how not to hurt you.”

“Lube?” he suggested, wiping his tears away.

“Got any? I haven’t had to use it in a while.”

He shook his head. “Why not just use lotion?”

“Huh?”

“You know, like Mom’s body lotion or whatever. Would that work?”

I couldn’t help but wonder if Mom had any lotion that didn’t smell fruity or like flowers. I knew that she shopped at Victoria’s Secret for lotion but there had to be plain old lotion somewhere…

“I’ll go find some,” I whispered to him placing a quick kiss on his lips. I jumped up and went into Mom and Gordon’s room, going into their bathroom.

I pulled open the medicine cabinet, my search coming to a very short end.

“I don’t even what to know why they have this,” I muttered to myself, grabbing the bottle of lube and walking back to our room.

I walked back into the room, Bill immediately coming up to place a kiss on my lips. “You weren’t gone long, what did you find?”

“I found that Mom and Gordon still do the nasty,” I said, holding up the bottle.

Bill stared at it. “I need a mind block or something for what you have just told me.”

I laughed and kissed him, pushing him over to the bed. He wrapped his arms around me spoke. “Tom, I was wondering… what are we? Are we like, gay, or straight, or bisexual?”

I pondered this. “Well, currently, we’re both ass virgins, at least I am anyway.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m being serious.”

“Hey,” I said, kissing his nose. “There’s plenty of time later to figure out what this is. Right now, however, I want you.”

He nodded again, his eyes displaying what he felt. He was scared of the pain.

Oh come on, there had to be something in my mind on how to not make it hurt as bad…

Think, Tom! Think!

Oh, duh.

“Bill, I’m gonna prepare you a bit, okay? So it won’t hurt as bad. You can just tell me when you feel comfortable and not a second before, all right? I don’t you to feel like I’m rushing you.”

He nodded.

I spread his legs apart again and inserted two fingers into him. He gasped out sharply. I felt his muscles tense up. I bit down on my lip and continued on, scissoring him so he’d feel more comfortable. I felt so horrible for inflicting this pain on him, I almost stopped and told him I couldn’t. I soon added in a third finger, feeling horrible as I did so. Each new movement made Bill tense, and I knew he was hurting.

After about twenty minutes of preparation, I found the lube being shoved in my face.

“I’m ready,” he said, sitting up a bit to look at me. I looked in his eyes and didn’t see any inhibitions. He was ready, but was I?

It didn’t matter if I wasn’t ready or not. This is what he wanted, and I would do anything for him.

I popped open the bottle and added liberal amounts to my dick. It wasn’t for aesthetics, it was so Bill wouldn’t be in pain.

I positioned myself above him one more time and pressed my lips to his. “I love you,” I murmured, my lips still touching his.

“I love you too.”

I eased into him gently, feeling his muscles contract around me. It felt amazing around my dick, that pressure.

I began to pump into him gently, trying to get him used to it. I kissed his throat as I did so, feeling his arms wrap around my shoulders, his nails gently raking down my back.

I started to go a little faster, repositioning myself a few times before I hit something and heard Bill gasp loudly.

Now’s the part where my vocal abilities come into play.

“Mm, did you like that, baby?” I said, licking his cheek playfully.

“Oh gott, do it again, Tom, please!” he begged, his back arched up.

“What, here?” I said, purposefully missing it.

“Tomi, please…”

“You have to beg a little more, baby. Come on, beg…” I said, pumping his dick slightly.

“Please, Tom, please, I’m begging! I’m begging for you, please!”

I ran my finger along his cheek. “All right, but only because you asked so nicely.” I thrust into him, slamming into that spot inside of him.

He moaned. “Oh, god, yes, there, don’t stop!”

“Come on, baby, scream for me, I know you can,” I said seductively, simultaneously biting down on his neck, pumping his dick and thrusting into him, hitting that spot as hard as I could.

True to my orders, Bill screamed out, sweat pouring off of his skin. He grabbed my hips and shoved me further into him, his nails digging into my skin painfully. I slammed my mouth onto his, shoving my tongue into his mouth as forcefully as I could.

Screw sensitivity right now, I wanted him hard and rough and that’s the way it was going to be.

He sucked on my lip as I pulled my mouth away from him, pulling my back towards him. Just like in all my dreams, Bill’s mouth became hot and needy, dominating me.

I thrust into him a bit harder. His hands went up to the bedposts, gripping them tightly in his fists. “Oh, god, Tom!” he said in a raspy scream, his knuckles turning white form gripping the posts. He yelled my name over and over, panting hard. He was literally pulling the posts off the headboard.

I smiled and slowed it down just to torture him. He gave me an unfathomable look, brought his hands to my shoulder, and proceeded to roll me over. I was confused as to what he was doing, so I asked. “What’s going on, Bill?”

He smiled and ran his tongue along the shell of my ear. “Just returning the favor, love.”

I smiled but was still unsure as to what he was doing. I had gotten pulled out of him when he flipped us over, was he planning to give me a blowjob? I mean, I had intended to pleasure him as well, and I wanted to do it simultaneously with my pleasure, so we would come together…

It’s romantic to me, so leave me alone.

He kissed me passionately, his tongue massaging mine, his tongue ring running along the roof of my mouth. I kissed back greedily, hating that he pulled back.

He smirked at me and went right to my hips. My eyes widened.

He was not…

He bit his lip sexually and dropped down completely on my waist. He…

He was riding me.

I let my eyes roll back into my head. “Oh, god, Bill, that feels so good. Don’t stop baby, don’t stop.”

His hands trailed down my chest, coming to where our bodies met, his right hand going up his body to his dick, where he started to stroke himself. “Mm, I’m imagining you doing this to me, I’m imagining you taking me in you mouth, because you’re the only one for me, the only one special enough to do that…”

Where the hell did this come from? And why had I not found it sooner? “I’m imagining the same thing. You’re luscious and up for anything,” I said throatily, arching my back up a bit as he rode me harder. I moaned out.

“Your tongue is so warm and wet, it knows just what to do, but you’re Tomi Kaulitz, you always know what to do,” he said, bringing his hand up to his mouth. He licked his hand from the heel of his palm to his fingertips, covering it with his saliva, and brought it back to his dick. “Oh yeah, that feels more real now,” he said, running his tongue over his lips.

The combination of him riding me, his sex talk, and him touching himself was more than I could take. “Bill, I’m gonna-”

Before I could even get the sentence out he pulled off of me, sitting on my thighs just below my waist. “Come on, baby, please, don’t tease me,” I pleaded, my dick throbbing.

“Is that what this is called? Oh, I’m sorry.”

Bill’s playful dominance shocked me. He seemed so submissive when we started, and now he was like my dominatrix. I was putty in his hands, bending to his will like a wire. Bill had me one hundred percent.

He crawled up to face me, planting a sweet kiss on my lips. “It’s just you and me, and I don’t want to move, even if neither of us came.”

“That’s your fault, not mine. It may not be for you, but my hard-on is painfully throbbing.”

“Poor baby,” he said, kissing my forehead. “Want me to fix it for you?”

“Can I fix yours too?”

He raised his pierced eyebrow at me. “I refuse to sixty-nine. I want to see your face.”

“Ew, I wouldn’t want to either. And the same goes for me, your face is too beautiful to look away from. But I know what we can do, babe.” I let my hand sneak down his chest, over his discreetly toned stomach and down to his dick.

He smiled and did the same. “I love you, Tom, I always have. I could never be with anyone but you, ever. You make me whole.”

“That’s so cliché, but cute. I feel the same, Bill,” I said, kissing him.

A few minutes of stroking and kissing later, we both came into each other’s hands with some very loud groans and moans.

It is no coincidence that those words rhyme.

I had never felt like this in my life, like this was the most right thing in the world to do, like nothing anyone was going to say would change my mind.

Bill and I fit together like puzzle pieces.

He nuzzled into neck and brought his clean hand up to my chest. “We need to get washed up or we are going to have a lot of explaining to do.”

I nodded, but didn’t want to move. The way Bill melted into me, the way his body curved perfectly to mine, was just amazing.

“We should go take a shower,” Bill suggested, pulling me in closer to him.

I smiled. I liked that idea.

Once in the shower, Bill grabbed the soap and started to scrub my body, smiling. I smiled back. He made smiley faces in the soap on my chest, writing the word ‘Mine’ with an arrow pointing down on my stomach, drawing a huge heart on the left side of my chest. He was such a dork when he wanted to be, but he was a sweet dork who cared about other people’s feelings.

We kissed under the warm spray of the showerhead, Bill’s smooth, wet skin absolutely amazing against mine. I turned off the water and pulled the shower curtain back, Bill not letting me go to save his life. I grabbed one of the huge towels off the rack and wrapped it around both of us. Bill smiled as we walked back into our room.

Not one word had been spoken in fifteen minutes. Still silent, we dried off and dressed in just some boxers, unsure as to how Bill’s bed was spotless, as that’s where all the action went down. Still, we decided not to risk it and slept on my bed. I pulled the covers over us and wrapped an arm around Bill, who fell asleep easily, his head on my shoulder.

I had already come up with the best excuse if Mom or Gordon came into our room in the morning or even tonight, because even if he was cuddling with me, they knew he could cuddle with a wolverine if it were in his bed with him. It was the in bed with me part I had come up with an excuse for.

This, right here, was where I belonged.

Right in Bill’s arms, for all of eternity.