Someday I will Understand
Chapter 21 Save me from myself
The day had arrived where MCR would be back on stage doing what they loved, all of them were psyched even Gerard, he wasn’t going to let his personal problems get in the way of his performance.
It was mid afternoon and Kate was on set doing a scene with Jared, Keisha was waiting back in her trailer waiting for her to come back. The night before Kate had come back a couple of hours later and was drunk, Keisha had to put her to bed where she stayed till the next morning, this time if Kate was going out Keisha was going to go and try and get everything sorted out and try and straight Kate out, she knew that Kate would hate her at first but she was sure later down the track she would thank her.
Once Kate had finished on set she announced to Keisha she was indeed going out again and this time wanted Keisha to come as well.
The guys on the other hand were doing a warm up at the AT & T centre, before there show tonight.
Kate’s head started to wonder again and she started to think of Gerard, she wondered what he was doing and if he was thinking if her, it was killing her not being able to talk to him, he always listened and was open with her, and in the end she had just pissed him off. She knew that she was getting out of control but at the same time she didnt know how to stop. It was like her inner demons were winning her losing battle.
It drew to night time and once again Kate was getting ready to go out to an Irish bar Waxy O’Conners, Keisha got ready and on the way to meet Jared and Jansen who was coming along as well, Keisha texted Gerard and told him where they were going to be, hoping maybe he would turn up.
Once they got to the bar, MCR’s concert had finished and Gerard received Keisha’s text message.
He walked up to Mikey and asked him if he wanted to go out tonight, Mikey agreed and thought it would be good to be able to relax, the rest of the guys decided to go as well, By now it was nearly midnight and Kate was drinking though in the back of her head she didnt want to get plastered, she really wanted to change but still didnt know if she could.
“Hey Jared, why don’t you an I hit the dance floor, I’m in the mood to dance”
Jared followed Kate, he was an all around good guy and Kate had become his friend through mutual friends, he was indeed attracted to her and at this stage he really liked her and was determined to make a move and hope she accepted, While on the dance floor he grabbed her round the waist as she rubbed into his body
Meanwhile Gerard had arrived with the rest of the guys and couldn’t see Kate nor Keisha, so the boys found a table in the private section and had a drink (Gerard of course stuck to soft drink), Mikey decided to go for a walk to the bar when he bumped in to Keisha at the bar.
“Hey you made it” Keisha tried to yell over the music
“Yeah we are over there” mikey said pointing behind himself
“Is Gee here?”
“Yeah, he’s the one that wanted us to come but didnt tell us why, but now I know”
“Yeah I texted him earlier, telling him we would be here”
“Where’s Kate?”
“She’s on the dance floor”
“Oh ok, did you wanna come over”
“Sure” Keisha said as she followed Mikey to where the rest of the guys were
“Keisha pie, you’re here” Frank said laughing
“Frankie are you mocking my name”
“To you Keisha NEVER”
“That’s alright then” Keisha said as she blew Frank a kiss and smiled
“Hey Gee”
“Hey Keisha, is she here?”
“At the moment she is on the dance floor oblivious to the fact your even here, I think over the last day she has gotten worse, it’s like she is a different person. I really don’t know, I’m so worried I want to call her parents, If anyone can put her in line it is her father and it’s always been like that”
“Really... Wont her parent’s put her in rehab or something?”
“I’m thinking she may need it or just even to be able to speak to a therapist. I really don’t know”
“Do you think she will wanna see me?”
“I’m sure of it, she loves you so much I know it, I can see it in her eyes, just the mention of your name”
“I love her too, seeing her like this is hurting me, I just wanna help her”
“I know we all do, I’ll go and get her and bring her over”
Keisha left to find Kate, Kate was still on the dance floor and jared had picked up the courage to tell Kate he really liked her, Kate just smiled, that was the last thing she wanted but then she thought maybe he would be good for one night
“I like you too jared, can I come to your room”
Jared couldn’t believe his luck, but it was cut short as Keisha had located Kate and told her to come with her, Kate followed leaving Jared on the dance floor by himself
“Girl what you doing”
“Nothing Keish, though I wont be coming back to our room, I’m going back to Jared’s What ya want anyway?”
“Just come with me” Kate followed Keisha to the private section where Kate saw Gerard, she stood there gobsmacked”
“What the fuck Keish, Gerard is there I cant talk to him, I’m sure he hates me”
“Trust me when I say he doesn’t, please talk to him”
Kate walked over to where Gerard and the rest of the guys were sitting, the guys walked over to Keisha so Kate and Gerard could talk privately.
“Hi” Kate mumbled
“Hi” Gerard said
“So did you plan this?”
“Nope it was all Keisha’s idea”
“Oh” Kate couldn’t believe Keisha had done this to her, she loved her but with what Kate thought she was going through the last person she wanted to see was Gerard, especially as she didnt want to hurt him anymore “wow that’s unusual”
“ I saw the photo’s of you kissing that guy”
“I’m so sorry that was never meant to happen, I was drunk and I didnt care”
“Well I do care Kate and for you, this is stupid what your doing”
“I know but I don’t know how to stop, it’s like I cant control it anymore”
“You have to stop please, I hate seeing you like this”
“I’m so sorry” Kate said as she started to cry
“Baby it’s ok, know I love you always” Gerard said as he place his hand on Kate’s cheek and pulled her closer so he could kiss her soft lips
“Gerard we cant do this, I don’t want to hurt you anymore and it seems that’s all I’m doing”
“Sugar your not hurting me, I promise, I just wanna be able to help you and be there for you”
“I wanna go, I wanna show you something back at my room”
“Ok baby”
Gerard and Kate got up and signalled to the rest of the guys they were leaving.
They got back to the hotel room and the MCR boys were astonished to see what the hotel room looked like, Frankie started to jump on the four poster bed which made Kate laugh.
Kate pulled her acoustic guitar out and got Gerard to sit on the sofa which was in the main room, the other guys followed as they were compelled to see what Kate was doing, she knew she had an audience but didnt care she was directing this to Gerard.
Kate pulled a chair out and sat on it with her guitar in her hands and looked towards Gerard “I wrote this because this is how I have been feeling and what you have done for me, I dedicate this to you Gerard, I love you”
Gerard just smiled
Kate started to play her guitar and with soft voice started to sing:
****************************************************************************************************
It's not so easy loving me, It gets so complicated ,All the things you've gotta be, Everything's changin, But you're the truth , I'm amazed by all your patience , Everything I put you through
When I'm about to fall, Somehow you're always waitin with your open arms to catch me, You're gonna save me from myself from myself, yes You're gonna save me from myself
My love is tainted by your touch, Cuz some guys have shown me aces, But you've got that royal flush ,I know it's crazy everyday ,Well tomorrow may be shaky, But you never turn away
Don't ask me why I'm cryin, Cuz when I start to crumble ,You know how to keep me smilin, You always save me from myself from myself, myself You're gonna save me from myself
I know it's hard, it's hard But you've broken all my walls, You've been my strength, so strong
And don't ask me why I love you It's obvious your tenderness, Is what I need to make me a better woman to myself to myself, myself You're gonna save me from myself
****************************************************************************************************
####################This is song is not written by me, I have borrowed it I just really liked the song and thought that it fitted perfectly in with this story######################
Gerard had a huge smile on his face and everyone else was clapping. Kate caught up in emotion ran out on to the balcony, Gerard followed behind her.
“Babe are you ok, that was really beautiful” Gerard said with his arms around Kate
“I’m sorry it just got to me, it made me realise how much of a dick I have been and how these past few days I have treated you like shit, and then I go and kiss someone and everything”
“Don’t worry about it, it’s not worth it”
“I’m so sorry I love you so much and I just in the end pushed you away for no reason, its just been so hard lately and I haven’t been coping”
“I know baby, that’s why I’m here” Gerard said as he moved Kate away from the doors and against the wall and started to kiss her passionately.
“Ooh Gerard” Kate whispered
“FUCK this stupid break!!!”
Gerard knew he wanted her more then ever to be able to feel her again, he lifted her leg around his waist and pulled her panties off from under her skirt, Kate with her free hand unzipped Gerard’s pants and rubbed her hand against him where she felt his erection, moving her closer and still kissing her he entered her with a deep thrust, as he quickly moved in an out of her, Kate could feel that the sensation was getting to her, Gerard could feel her walls around him getting tighter and knew she was ready, with a couple of hard thrusts they came together. Gerard kissed Kate on the lips and whispered “I love you, in which Kate said back as well
Once regaining there composure they both started to laugh realising they had just done it on a balcony
“I hope everyone liked our little peep show” Gerard said laughing
“I’m sure they did” Kate said laughing back
As they both walked back in to the room, the guys were watching TV, Gerard and Kate were still laughing
Frankie butted in on there moment “What ya laughing about”
“Wouldn’t you like to know Frankie my dear” Gerard said with a huge grin on his face
Frankie realised what had happened and started to scream “Aww yuck get them fucking thought’s out of my mind, you guys were just out there, Oh bloody hell” and then proceeded to run around the room like a lunatic
Kate and everyone else decided to crash at Kate’s hotel room as there was heaps of room and for there bus to pick them up the following morning so the boys could leave for Tampa , Florida.
Kate and Gerard spoke most of the night and Kate tried to explain in depth what she had been going through and had also decided that she would still meet the boys in Atlanta and join them for the rest of their tour.
Gerard and Kate snuggled together in Kate’s four poster bed, Gerard was loving the feeling of being close with her and Kate felt happy again just being in Gerard’s arms.
It was mid afternoon and Kate was on set doing a scene with Jared, Keisha was waiting back in her trailer waiting for her to come back. The night before Kate had come back a couple of hours later and was drunk, Keisha had to put her to bed where she stayed till the next morning, this time if Kate was going out Keisha was going to go and try and get everything sorted out and try and straight Kate out, she knew that Kate would hate her at first but she was sure later down the track she would thank her.
Once Kate had finished on set she announced to Keisha she was indeed going out again and this time wanted Keisha to come as well.
The guys on the other hand were doing a warm up at the AT & T centre, before there show tonight.
Kate’s head started to wonder again and she started to think of Gerard, she wondered what he was doing and if he was thinking if her, it was killing her not being able to talk to him, he always listened and was open with her, and in the end she had just pissed him off. She knew that she was getting out of control but at the same time she didnt know how to stop. It was like her inner demons were winning her losing battle.
It drew to night time and once again Kate was getting ready to go out to an Irish bar Waxy O’Conners, Keisha got ready and on the way to meet Jared and Jansen who was coming along as well, Keisha texted Gerard and told him where they were going to be, hoping maybe he would turn up.
Once they got to the bar, MCR’s concert had finished and Gerard received Keisha’s text message.
He walked up to Mikey and asked him if he wanted to go out tonight, Mikey agreed and thought it would be good to be able to relax, the rest of the guys decided to go as well, By now it was nearly midnight and Kate was drinking though in the back of her head she didnt want to get plastered, she really wanted to change but still didnt know if she could.
“Hey Jared, why don’t you an I hit the dance floor, I’m in the mood to dance”
Jared followed Kate, he was an all around good guy and Kate had become his friend through mutual friends, he was indeed attracted to her and at this stage he really liked her and was determined to make a move and hope she accepted, While on the dance floor he grabbed her round the waist as she rubbed into his body
Meanwhile Gerard had arrived with the rest of the guys and couldn’t see Kate nor Keisha, so the boys found a table in the private section and had a drink (Gerard of course stuck to soft drink), Mikey decided to go for a walk to the bar when he bumped in to Keisha at the bar.
“Hey you made it” Keisha tried to yell over the music
“Yeah we are over there” mikey said pointing behind himself
“Is Gee here?”
“Yeah, he’s the one that wanted us to come but didnt tell us why, but now I know”
“Yeah I texted him earlier, telling him we would be here”
“Where’s Kate?”
“She’s on the dance floor”
“Oh ok, did you wanna come over”
“Sure” Keisha said as she followed Mikey to where the rest of the guys were
“Keisha pie, you’re here” Frank said laughing
“Frankie are you mocking my name”
“To you Keisha NEVER”
“That’s alright then” Keisha said as she blew Frank a kiss and smiled
“Hey Gee”
“Hey Keisha, is she here?”
“At the moment she is on the dance floor oblivious to the fact your even here, I think over the last day she has gotten worse, it’s like she is a different person. I really don’t know, I’m so worried I want to call her parents, If anyone can put her in line it is her father and it’s always been like that”
“Really... Wont her parent’s put her in rehab or something?”
“I’m thinking she may need it or just even to be able to speak to a therapist. I really don’t know”
“Do you think she will wanna see me?”
“I’m sure of it, she loves you so much I know it, I can see it in her eyes, just the mention of your name”
“I love her too, seeing her like this is hurting me, I just wanna help her”
“I know we all do, I’ll go and get her and bring her over”
Keisha left to find Kate, Kate was still on the dance floor and jared had picked up the courage to tell Kate he really liked her, Kate just smiled, that was the last thing she wanted but then she thought maybe he would be good for one night
“I like you too jared, can I come to your room”
Jared couldn’t believe his luck, but it was cut short as Keisha had located Kate and told her to come with her, Kate followed leaving Jared on the dance floor by himself
“Girl what you doing”
“Nothing Keish, though I wont be coming back to our room, I’m going back to Jared’s What ya want anyway?”
“Just come with me” Kate followed Keisha to the private section where Kate saw Gerard, she stood there gobsmacked”
“What the fuck Keish, Gerard is there I cant talk to him, I’m sure he hates me”
“Trust me when I say he doesn’t, please talk to him”
Kate walked over to where Gerard and the rest of the guys were sitting, the guys walked over to Keisha so Kate and Gerard could talk privately.
“Hi” Kate mumbled
“Hi” Gerard said
“So did you plan this?”
“Nope it was all Keisha’s idea”
“Oh” Kate couldn’t believe Keisha had done this to her, she loved her but with what Kate thought she was going through the last person she wanted to see was Gerard, especially as she didnt want to hurt him anymore “wow that’s unusual”
“ I saw the photo’s of you kissing that guy”
“I’m so sorry that was never meant to happen, I was drunk and I didnt care”
“Well I do care Kate and for you, this is stupid what your doing”
“I know but I don’t know how to stop, it’s like I cant control it anymore”
“You have to stop please, I hate seeing you like this”
“I’m so sorry” Kate said as she started to cry
“Baby it’s ok, know I love you always” Gerard said as he place his hand on Kate’s cheek and pulled her closer so he could kiss her soft lips
“Gerard we cant do this, I don’t want to hurt you anymore and it seems that’s all I’m doing”
“Sugar your not hurting me, I promise, I just wanna be able to help you and be there for you”
“I wanna go, I wanna show you something back at my room”
“Ok baby”
Gerard and Kate got up and signalled to the rest of the guys they were leaving.
They got back to the hotel room and the MCR boys were astonished to see what the hotel room looked like, Frankie started to jump on the four poster bed which made Kate laugh.
Kate pulled her acoustic guitar out and got Gerard to sit on the sofa which was in the main room, the other guys followed as they were compelled to see what Kate was doing, she knew she had an audience but didnt care she was directing this to Gerard.
Kate pulled a chair out and sat on it with her guitar in her hands and looked towards Gerard “I wrote this because this is how I have been feeling and what you have done for me, I dedicate this to you Gerard, I love you”
Gerard just smiled
Kate started to play her guitar and with soft voice started to sing:
****************************************************************************************************
It's not so easy loving me, It gets so complicated ,All the things you've gotta be, Everything's changin, But you're the truth , I'm amazed by all your patience , Everything I put you through
When I'm about to fall, Somehow you're always waitin with your open arms to catch me, You're gonna save me from myself from myself, yes You're gonna save me from myself
My love is tainted by your touch, Cuz some guys have shown me aces, But you've got that royal flush ,I know it's crazy everyday ,Well tomorrow may be shaky, But you never turn away
Don't ask me why I'm cryin, Cuz when I start to crumble ,You know how to keep me smilin, You always save me from myself from myself, myself You're gonna save me from myself
I know it's hard, it's hard But you've broken all my walls, You've been my strength, so strong
And don't ask me why I love you It's obvious your tenderness, Is what I need to make me a better woman to myself to myself, myself You're gonna save me from myself
****************************************************************************************************
####################This is song is not written by me, I have borrowed it I just really liked the song and thought that it fitted perfectly in with this story######################
Gerard had a huge smile on his face and everyone else was clapping. Kate caught up in emotion ran out on to the balcony, Gerard followed behind her.
“Babe are you ok, that was really beautiful” Gerard said with his arms around Kate
“I’m sorry it just got to me, it made me realise how much of a dick I have been and how these past few days I have treated you like shit, and then I go and kiss someone and everything”
“Don’t worry about it, it’s not worth it”
“I’m so sorry I love you so much and I just in the end pushed you away for no reason, its just been so hard lately and I haven’t been coping”
“I know baby, that’s why I’m here” Gerard said as he moved Kate away from the doors and against the wall and started to kiss her passionately.
“Ooh Gerard” Kate whispered
“FUCK this stupid break!!!”
Gerard knew he wanted her more then ever to be able to feel her again, he lifted her leg around his waist and pulled her panties off from under her skirt, Kate with her free hand unzipped Gerard’s pants and rubbed her hand against him where she felt his erection, moving her closer and still kissing her he entered her with a deep thrust, as he quickly moved in an out of her, Kate could feel that the sensation was getting to her, Gerard could feel her walls around him getting tighter and knew she was ready, with a couple of hard thrusts they came together. Gerard kissed Kate on the lips and whispered “I love you, in which Kate said back as well
Once regaining there composure they both started to laugh realising they had just done it on a balcony
“I hope everyone liked our little peep show” Gerard said laughing
“I’m sure they did” Kate said laughing back
As they both walked back in to the room, the guys were watching TV, Gerard and Kate were still laughing
Frankie butted in on there moment “What ya laughing about”
“Wouldn’t you like to know Frankie my dear” Gerard said with a huge grin on his face
Frankie realised what had happened and started to scream “Aww yuck get them fucking thought’s out of my mind, you guys were just out there, Oh bloody hell” and then proceeded to run around the room like a lunatic
Kate and everyone else decided to crash at Kate’s hotel room as there was heaps of room and for there bus to pick them up the following morning so the boys could leave for Tampa , Florida.
Kate and Gerard spoke most of the night and Kate tried to explain in depth what she had been going through and had also decided that she would still meet the boys in Atlanta and join them for the rest of their tour.
Gerard and Kate snuggled together in Kate’s four poster bed, Gerard was loving the feeling of being close with her and Kate felt happy again just being in Gerard’s arms.