They say love is blind, or is it just me?

Part four:

~Bam’s POV~
"She hasn’t changed, has she" Ville said laughing. I smiled. "Nope, none what so ever.. but I like how she is. She doesn’t need to change. " I answered. We went downstairs to see if Ape had made breakfast. I was starving.

~Your POV~
As usual, I could use my shower to think about my life. I was washing my hair while I thought about the guys reaction to my song. I didn’t tell them that I had a job as a songwriter. It was one of the things I could do. I only had the job for about a month, but it felt really good. I just had to make sure I sent four songs a month to my boss. I sent almost everything I made to them. Except the one I had sang to the guys yesterday. It was more important to me. That was mine, not anyone else’s. I didn’t want to tell the guys, because then Bam would find out. And I think he liked the idea of taking care of me. I had to pay for hardly anything. But as you may know by now, I really don’t like to depend on people. I just wanted to have some money of my own. And not hurt Bam at the same time. So I kept it a secret..

I tried to find my clothes.. but as usual, they where everywhere but in my closet. So I called in the only help I would accept at times. "Ape!? " Feet came up the stairs. "Yes sweety? " She said. But I heard more feet behind her. "Wooooww! Cassie! To what do we owe this pleasure!? " I heard Novak whistle. I quickly shut my door. Seeing as I was just in a short…short ..towel.. "Ape!? " I asked trough the door. I heard her laughing. "Open the door Cassie, it’s just me now.. " I quickly opened the door. "Uh.. I can’t uh ..seem to find my clothes.. " I said with a stupid grin on my face. She smiled. Hold on, I’ll get some out for you. HIM T-shirt okay? " I shrugged. "Yeah, might as well give the man an ego boost while he’s here.. " She laughed. "Ah, it’s a nice shirt.. I like the butterfly more than the HIM logo" Now I laughed. "Hah! Don’t let him hear that! He’ll feel bad.. " I pouted a little. She laughed and trough the shirt at me. "You just get dressed, I doubt that towel will get you trough the day.. " "Yeah it will!! " I heard Novak shout outside the door. "Shut up Novak! " Ape and I yelled at the same time. "

~Bam’s POV~
I was thinking the exact same thing, she looked freaking good in that towel. But I still slapped Novak upside the head. "Dude, that’s just wrong.. " He rubbed the back of his head. "No, hitting your friend is! And also any other form of torture.." He mumbled. I laughed. "Come on, Jake expects us to film some shit today.. we need to go to the Go kart place. " (I am making the name of his manager up, so Jake, meet the reader, reader, meet Jake, manager. Hi. Good, now we can continue..) We went out to the hummer to go to the kart place. The idea was to "Steal" those cars and ride them all trough West-Chester. You didn’t hear me complaining. That was going to be fucking funny! It sucked that Chase couldn’t be in our stunts. She loved to hear about them. I wished that just once, one time she could join us.. I felt guilty sometimes. "Okay, have you been listening to ANYTHING I’ve said in the past ten minutes?! " Dunn’s voice got me out of my thoughts. "Yeah yeah, dangerous, you want a helmet, insurance. quit whining asshole.. " I mumbled. I couldn’t help but think of Chase again, I hope she wouldn’t be bored all day alone in the castle. Halloween is in two days.. I wonder what she is going to be..

~Your POV~
Ape had to leave after she helped me, so I was on my own. Not something I wasn’t used to by now. I never could do any stunts with the guys. I went with them in the beginning, but I just felt like I was being an obstacle, so I stayed home. I loved it when the guys told me what they had done that day. That way I could imagine myself doing the exact same stunts. They all were great storytellers, especially Bam. He didn’t miss a detail. Never. He was on my mind a lot lately. He seemed so .. yeah.. how to describe that.. Troubled, I guess. Like always wearing a mask. The whole breaking up with Missy thing had reduced it a little, but it still was there.. I decided to just go and write some lyrics until the guys came back.

~Raab’s POV~
"FUCK YOU!! " Dunn screamed at me. I rammed his kart from the side so he drove into the dent besides the road. I laughed. First, he’s whining about a concussion, next, he is the most driven of all of us! Bam still was in the lead. But not for long if I had something to do with it. We had decided Duffers was the finish, still a mile to go. I pressed the gas some more, but my kart made a weird noise and I saw smoke coming from it.. "Oh..damn! " I tried to stop but nothing worked anymore. I went flying off the road and I heard the guys yelling. There was a little hill beside the road so I rolled down. Finally coming to a halt, under the hill I looked up to the sky and started laughing uncontrollably. "That was so fucking rad! Please tell me you got that on tape! " I yelled up the hill. All the guys stood grinning. Bam came running down the hill. "We got it, your sick in the head you know that? " He laughed. "But it was damn cool! " We looked up at Dunn, he had the camera. He held up his thumb. "Yes!! " I started doing my happy dance. All the guys joined us at the bottom of the hill. We all laughed and decided to call it a day. We had enough footage and were hungry. We got back to the hummer and drove home. I wonder if Cassie hasn’t been too bored.

~Your POV~
I sat indianstyle on the couch with my laptop in front of me. I quietly sang to myself.

And it takes acquired minds
To taste, to taste, to taste this wine
You can't down it with your eyes
So we don't need the headlines
We don't need the headlines, we just want
We want the airwaves back, we want the airwaves back

Everybody sing
Like it's the last song you will ever sing
Tell me, tell me do you feel the pressure now?
Everybody live
Like it's the last day you will ever see
Tell me, tell me do you feel the pressure now?

Right now, you're the only reason
I'm not letting go, oh.. .. .. .. ..
(Lyrics: Paramore)

I shook my head and sighed. "Damn.. " I whispered to myself. "What Chase? " That sounded good to me! " Came Bam’s voice from behind me. I didn’t hear the guys come in and he scared me. That and that together, I fell off the couch..hard.. "FUCK! " I yelled. The guys snickered. I felt two hands around my waist and help me up again. "Thanks Bam" I smiled. "How’d you.. " He started. I laughed. "Get used to it.. you know such things after a while.. I just feel or smell who it is.. " He laughed. "Smelling if it’s Novak probably.. " I couldn’t help but stifle a laugh. "HEY! " Novak yelled from the kitchen. "Sorry Babe, but it is true sometimes! " He huffed. "What are you doing writing lyrics so often lately..? " Bam asked me while helping me to the couch and flopping down beside me. "John wanted two extra this month. "I said without thinking. I slapped my hand in front of my mouth. Shit.. "Whooooosee John.. " Bam said suspiciously. I sighed. "Fine.. get the guys so I don’t have to explain it over and over again. He walked away and got back with the guys. "Fine, spill.. " He said a little angry. At least, that is what it sounded like.. "Well.. as you know.. I don’t like to depend on you guys. I don’t want to be a burden.. And I just recently found a lot of my old writing. That inspired me to write again. And that got me thinking. If I need money, I always have to go to you guys. And I hate that. I already have to ask your help with about every other thing in my life. And I just wanted to have something that was mine. I contacted some record companies. I explained the situation and sent them one of my songs. I didn’t tell them I was blind though. I just asked if it was possible to work from home and still get payed and stuff. One of the 6 companies I applied to actually wrote me back. They liked my song and were wondering if I could send them another one. They were debating on whether to hire me or not. After I send that second song, they were really enthusiastic. John called me and told me I got the job. That was when I told him the whole situation. It scared him a little.. but he understood. We got to an agreement. I send in four songs a month. They pay me for it. It just goes to my bank account so I never even have to see my boss or clock in anywhere. It is not a big job.. but it is something from my own. That I can do without help. I don’t like keeping secrets from you guys. But it just seemed the only option. I didn’t want to hurt anyone of you. It’s just.. I lost all my independence together with my sight.. It hurts so fucking much to not be able to do anything on my own.. " I held back tears. The guys stood up and all gave me a hug. "It’s cool chica.. do what makes you happy, we’re behind you all the way.. " Glomb whispered in my ear. They left. Bam still was beside me on the couch. "You know I don’t mean to hurt you right..? " I said softly. I felt him shrug. "I just thought you would tell me if you were feeling bad about something like that.. " He replied. I let my head fall in his lap and as almost a reflex his hands went trough my hair. " I know.. but I got the impression you liked the way it went.. "Taking care of me" now and then.. It may sound stupid I know..- " "No it doesn’t.. I do like it.. It makes me feel that I’m worth something.. " He said softly. "Don’t say that! Jesus Bam, your worth so fucking much.. you’re my best friend in the entire world. You jump I jump. A lot of people have you in their heart. Don’t ever say that you’re not worth anything. That’s the biggest load of shit I’ve ever heard.. " I said to him. His hands still went absentmindedly trough my hair. He sighed. "I guess.. " I turned and slid my hands around his waist. I hugged him in a laying down position.. so to say.. I spoke into his tummy. "Bam.. I love you, I’m sorry if I hurt you by keeping this from you.. but at the time it seemed the best option I had. Don’t think you’re worth nothing.. You are worth so much more than diamonds.. " He bend over and kissed my head. "I love you too Chase, but stop talking to my tummy, that tickles.. " I turned and looked up again. "Oh.. " I said. He laughed. Silently, I just heard the sound trough his nose again. "What’s with you lately Bammle..? You seem out of it. Sometimes, I get the feeling your not here when we talk to you.. " He sighed again. This was so not him. He wasn’t always the jackass from TV, but he didn’t have this much worries. "It’s nothing Chase.. just a little out of it. I guess the whole Missy shit got me more than I thought.. " I sat up again and kissed his cheek. What turned out to be his neck. "Fine, tell me when you’re ready.. And that was supposed to be your cheek, not your neck. " I said with a slight grin. He laughed. "Sure Chase, you know you want this.. " He said standing up. I slapped his leg. "Yeah Casanova, for sure.. Now get! " He laughed and walked up the stairs. Probably going to Villes room.

~Bam’s POV~
I was a little sad that Chase kept that secret from me. But she wasn’t wrong about the whole taking care of her thing.. it came a bit natural now. Maybe it was good for her to have her own thing. Not that I was jumping for joy or anything.. but at least she didn’t have to go out all the time or something. I like having her around. I like.. her.. I stopped mid-walking. Shit, was this really happening? I went with my hand trough my hair.. She’s my best friend. I wasn’t sad about missy, I just said that to her.. Technically also keeping something from her. But she didn’t freak about it like I did. "Just tell me when you’re ready.. " Her words went trough my head. Shit, I really did like her. But what if she doesn’t like me? I don’t want her out of my life. Even if that means not to be with her.. The longer I thought about her. The more clear it became.
"What are you smiling about..? " Ville’s voice got me out of my trance. I didn’t notice it. I was smiling. Oh god.. This isn’t going to be easy, that’s for fucking sure..