Thank You, Gravity
Who Is She?
“”What? Why?” Nick cries, turning to me. I sigh deeply. I don’t want to hurt him, but I guess that’s inevitable. “Joe, if I did anything…” he mutters. He looks like he’s going to cry. I don’t want him to cry, I hate seeing him like this.
“Nick, Dad hates us. Kevin’s disgusted by us, Frankie would be too if he knew. And Dad will probably never let him come see us. Do you want to lose the family?” I try to explain, slowly. We stop at a red light and Nick looks down at his lap. I pull the car into the neighborhood again and look at him. “Nickie, I’m sorry… please don’t cry…. God, Nickie..” I murmur as he starts crying. I pull the car over to the curb and unbuckle, scooting out of my seat and over to his, sitting next to him. There’s hardly any room. I pull him close. “You know I don’t want to hurt you, there’s just so much at risk.” I murmur.
I kiss his cheek and he doesn’t react. He pushes me aside, getting out of the car and walking towards the house. I call after him, leaning out the window as he opens the front door and strides in, closing it roughly.
I sigh sadly and slump in the chair, looking down at my lap. I’d just ruined everything. I keep wondering whether being with him is really worth it. I don’t want to be in love with another guy, I don’t want to be in love with my brother, I don’t want to be in this fucked up mental state. He’s just so damn… attractive.
I sigh, unbuckling the belt and getting out of the car. We’re right in front of the house, and I run up the sidewalk, walking in the door. I open the door and find myself staring right at my dad, making out. With some woman I don’t know.
I stop and just stare for a moment, too shocked to do anything. I don’t’ realize I’m holding my breath until I let it out when the kiss breaks, and Dad stares at me. I glare between him and the brunette girl.
“Joe,” is all he says, looking surprised. I raise my eyebrows at him, gesturing towards the girl.
“How could you?” I manage to ask. Dad tries to grab my shoulder as I run past him, up the stairs. I should talk to Nick. I hurry up the steps and spin around the banister, finding Nick in one of the rooms. He’s lying on the bed, back facing the door, hugging a pillow. I sigh and walk into the room, sitting down on the bed next to him. He doesn’t react. “Nick? You‘re missing your party.” I run my hand over his ribs. He tries to kick me. “Nickie, please don’t hate me.” I beg. I hear Nick exhale deeply, and he hugs the pillow tighter. I think he’s still crying, because his breathing his hitched even though I can’t see his face.
“I own care.” he mumbles into the pillow. “Go away.”
“Nick, look, I need to talk to you about something else,” I say. I hadn’t forgotten about that kiss and I wasn’t going to not tell him. “Something about Dad.”
I guess that gets his attention because he finally lifts his head, scowling at me. “What?”
I try to think of how to tell him; there’s no real way to spare his feelings. “I just saw Dad kissing someone.”
Nick’s eyes widen, and he raises his head off the pillow and looks at me, teary-eyed. I close my eyes briefly. “I walked in the door and he was making out with some woman. Not just a little kiss, Nick. A kiss like…” I’m about to say, ‘like you and me kiss’, but that wouldn’t be the best thing.
“So that’s why he wanted to be here so bad….” Nick mutters in realization, staring down at the pillow. I nod slowly. “How could he….right after Mom’s gone…” Nick whispers so low I can barely hear him.
“Nick, I’m sorry…”
“Who is she?” Nick demands.
“She’s… brunette. I don’t really know… probably one of your friends’ moms…” I state slowly, looking at Nick. He flopped his head into the pillow and breathed out deeply. I rubbed his back a little for a minute, sitting in silence. “Nick, come on, you’re missing your party,” I say finally. He sits up slowly, rubbing his eyes. I smile and take his hand, resisting the urge to kiss him, and help him off the bed. We both walk downstairs.
Dad’s nowhere to be found. The coward. Nick disappears with some of his friends and I head to the kitchen, taking a slice of pizza out of the box on the table and pouring some Coke. I look up when I hear Dad’s voice, and he’s coming into the kitchen. I walk away from the table and stalk to the fridge. Dad approaches me slowly, smiling. I turn away from him quickly, brushing past him with my soda and hurrying through the kitchen.
“Joe, is something wrong?” he asks. I take a deep breath and turn to face him.
“Is something wrong? Maybe that I just saw you making out with some woman.” I glare, breezing past him again and heading for the door. Dad follows me and I turn to him again. “Are you trying to replace Mom? Because you never can.” I turn away again, stalking towards the hallway. He doesn’t stop me, or try to explain. I was going to leave with Nick tonight, and I wasn’t going to come back here.
“Nick, Dad hates us. Kevin’s disgusted by us, Frankie would be too if he knew. And Dad will probably never let him come see us. Do you want to lose the family?” I try to explain, slowly. We stop at a red light and Nick looks down at his lap. I pull the car into the neighborhood again and look at him. “Nickie, I’m sorry… please don’t cry…. God, Nickie..” I murmur as he starts crying. I pull the car over to the curb and unbuckle, scooting out of my seat and over to his, sitting next to him. There’s hardly any room. I pull him close. “You know I don’t want to hurt you, there’s just so much at risk.” I murmur.
I kiss his cheek and he doesn’t react. He pushes me aside, getting out of the car and walking towards the house. I call after him, leaning out the window as he opens the front door and strides in, closing it roughly.
I sigh sadly and slump in the chair, looking down at my lap. I’d just ruined everything. I keep wondering whether being with him is really worth it. I don’t want to be in love with another guy, I don’t want to be in love with my brother, I don’t want to be in this fucked up mental state. He’s just so damn… attractive.
I sigh, unbuckling the belt and getting out of the car. We’re right in front of the house, and I run up the sidewalk, walking in the door. I open the door and find myself staring right at my dad, making out. With some woman I don’t know.
I stop and just stare for a moment, too shocked to do anything. I don’t’ realize I’m holding my breath until I let it out when the kiss breaks, and Dad stares at me. I glare between him and the brunette girl.
“Joe,” is all he says, looking surprised. I raise my eyebrows at him, gesturing towards the girl.
“How could you?” I manage to ask. Dad tries to grab my shoulder as I run past him, up the stairs. I should talk to Nick. I hurry up the steps and spin around the banister, finding Nick in one of the rooms. He’s lying on the bed, back facing the door, hugging a pillow. I sigh and walk into the room, sitting down on the bed next to him. He doesn’t react. “Nick? You‘re missing your party.” I run my hand over his ribs. He tries to kick me. “Nickie, please don’t hate me.” I beg. I hear Nick exhale deeply, and he hugs the pillow tighter. I think he’s still crying, because his breathing his hitched even though I can’t see his face.
“I own care.” he mumbles into the pillow. “Go away.”
“Nick, look, I need to talk to you about something else,” I say. I hadn’t forgotten about that kiss and I wasn’t going to not tell him. “Something about Dad.”
I guess that gets his attention because he finally lifts his head, scowling at me. “What?”
I try to think of how to tell him; there’s no real way to spare his feelings. “I just saw Dad kissing someone.”
Nick’s eyes widen, and he raises his head off the pillow and looks at me, teary-eyed. I close my eyes briefly. “I walked in the door and he was making out with some woman. Not just a little kiss, Nick. A kiss like…” I’m about to say, ‘like you and me kiss’, but that wouldn’t be the best thing.
“So that’s why he wanted to be here so bad….” Nick mutters in realization, staring down at the pillow. I nod slowly. “How could he….right after Mom’s gone…” Nick whispers so low I can barely hear him.
“Nick, I’m sorry…”
“Who is she?” Nick demands.
“She’s… brunette. I don’t really know… probably one of your friends’ moms…” I state slowly, looking at Nick. He flopped his head into the pillow and breathed out deeply. I rubbed his back a little for a minute, sitting in silence. “Nick, come on, you’re missing your party,” I say finally. He sits up slowly, rubbing his eyes. I smile and take his hand, resisting the urge to kiss him, and help him off the bed. We both walk downstairs.
Dad’s nowhere to be found. The coward. Nick disappears with some of his friends and I head to the kitchen, taking a slice of pizza out of the box on the table and pouring some Coke. I look up when I hear Dad’s voice, and he’s coming into the kitchen. I walk away from the table and stalk to the fridge. Dad approaches me slowly, smiling. I turn away from him quickly, brushing past him with my soda and hurrying through the kitchen.
“Joe, is something wrong?” he asks. I take a deep breath and turn to face him.
“Is something wrong? Maybe that I just saw you making out with some woman.” I glare, breezing past him again and heading for the door. Dad follows me and I turn to him again. “Are you trying to replace Mom? Because you never can.” I turn away again, stalking towards the hallway. He doesn’t stop me, or try to explain. I was going to leave with Nick tonight, and I wasn’t going to come back here.