Heart-Shaped Box
Shenanigans
"How would you describe kissing Kemmy Shadows?" the reporter asked, shoving a mike into Billie Joe's face. A picture of the blue-haired, bright green eyed girl showed up in the bottom corner.
"Fuck!" Kemmy threw a drumstick at the screen, which wasn't a good idea because it shattered the screen and caused the TV to explode.
But on another TV, in another celebrity household, the interview continued.
"Well, it was pretty intense, that's all I'm gonna say," the Green Day singer answered with a fiendish smile.
Mike Dirnt winced. He'd expected Billie Joe to pull something like this, but he was disappointed in Kemmy. Shouldn't she know better?
"Yeah, I knew better," admitted Kemmy on the phone. "But we were both drunk, well, I was drunk anyway. I think he must have been at least a little but... He's way older than me, I wouldn't, you know, have that kind of a relationship with him--"
"Did you have sex with him?" Mike asked bluntly.
"No - well - I don't know," Kemmy stammered. "Like I said, I was drunk, I don't remem--"
"You really screwed up!" yelled Mike.
"I know," she muttered. "I know."
"I'm going to talk to Billie Joe about this and if I find out you two had sex --"
"You'll kill me. Yeah. And him. But it's not the end of the world, Mike, it was just a kiss, as far as I know---"
"It might just be the end of the world," growled Mike. "I'll talk to you later."
The line went dead.
"Ohhhh shit..." Mike swore with a sigh.
*~*~*
"It was worth it," Billie Joe replied to the 'what the hell were you thinking' Mike greeted him with. "Seriously, it's not that big of a deal--"
"Uh, Billie? She's way too young for you. She's eighteen, and you're twenty-eight. That's a ten year difference."
"Fuck, it's not like we're getting married or anything," Billie Joe snapped.
"Let's just hope this doesn't screw things up for us."
*~*~*
-AT TRE'S HOUSE-
Kemmy twirled one of Tre's drumsticks. "How's Billie Joe?"
Tre snickered. "He's not even worried. Mike is the only one who freaked out about it. So, anyway--"
"Tre!" Billie Joe yelled, flinging open the front door. He ran into the living room and stopped when he saw Kemmy. "Hey Kemmy," he greeted nonchalantly. Then he turned to Tre. "Firstly, your front door is unlocked. Secondly, your car is on fire. Thirdly, I'm bored and Mike is too pissed off to hang out."
"You mean the car's still on fire?" Tre asked, curiously. "I didn't think it would burn that long..."
Both Billie Joe and Kemmy just stared. Then they shrugged it off thinking, 'oh well, it's Tre..'
"So Kemmy, have you been watching TV lately?" Billie Joe asked casually.
Kemmy rolled her eyes. "Actually, ever since it exploded, I haven't really been able to get a good picture..."
"Don't ask," Tre advised.
The drum stick Kemmy had been spinning flew out of her hand.
"That's kinda it," Tre said with a laugh.
"Oh." Billie Joe still looked confused, and looked as if he were about to say something, then decided against it.
"I taped the interview though! Never fear!" yelled Tre, putting in a tape.
"Um, that's ok, Tre, I'll watch it later," Kemmy said hastily, turning off the TV. "Hey, Tre, can you get me a Coke? I'm parched."
"Yeaaaah!" Tre jumped over the couch and skipped into the kitchen.
"We need to talk." Kemmy's arms were folded.
"Sure - how about tonight?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean," Billie Joe said with a smile, "that I'm going to take you out to dinner, and we can discuss it then."
"Are you sure --"
"That's not a good idea," called Tre from the kitchen. "I'll have to come along too." Billie Joe scowled.
"It's okay, Tre, you can trust us. We're both sober!" Kemmy tried to reassure him.
Tre just shrugged and smiled knowingly. "Just remember that Mike's really gonna be pissed if you two screw up again. But if you don't want me to come along, I understand." He mocked a sob.
"This is just something we need to work out."
*~*~*
They parked, and went in. Billie Joe took off his sunglasses. He trusted this bar because it was obscure and usually safe from paparazzi.
Kemmy squirmed around in her seat. When Billie Joe tried to order alcohol, she interrrupted with "maybe that's not a good idea."
Billie Joe just shrugged. "I'm not going to get drunk, I just need to loosen up."
She wasn't reassured, but didn't argue. "I guess I'll have what he's having too." Billie Joe raised his eyebrows, but Kemmy didn't seem to notice.
"You have a lower tolerance than I do," Billie Joe reminded her. "Are you sure that's --"
"I'm not going to get drunk," Kemmy mimicked.
"Sometimes you worry me," muttered Billie Joe.
- 2 hours later -
"Ahahaha!" Kemmy laughed, finishing her drink. "Oh wow, I don't even know how many I've had now!" she remarked, looking at the empty glass.
Billie Joe started laughing too. "You're really drunk."
"No I'm not," Kemmy protested and promptly fell out of her chair.
"Hahaha, let me help you..." Billie Joe tried to help her up, but he was also drunk, so when he finally got her on her feet, he was almost falling over as well.
"Thanks for saving me," Kemmy said gratefully. She suddenly looked confused. "Weren't we supposed to be talking about something?"
"Yeah, how I'm not supposed to do this," Billie Joe answered before kissing her roughly. Kemmy giggled.
"Well, if you're not supposed to do that why'd you do it?"
"Cuz I like it and I think you like it too." He started kissing her on the neck.
"Haha, Mike would be really mad if he could see this," Kemmy said, still laughing.
"Screw Mike," Billie Joe growled, and got out his keys.
"Where're we going?" Kemmy asked dizzily.
"Someplace where we can do whatever we want," Billie Joe answered vaguely.
*~*~*
-AT THE HOTEL-
"So this is it?" Kemmy asked, sitting down on the bed. "The place where we can do whatever we want?"
"Mm-hm," Billie Joe replied, sitting next to her and kissing her on the cheek.
"Oh, good," Kemmy murmured. "And when we wake up tomorrow none of it will be real?"
"None of it," he told her, between kisses and taking off his signature red tie.
-NEXT MORNING-
Kemmy opened her eyes. Billie Joe had his arms around her, the sun was spilling into the room, and the bed sheets were all messed up. Oh, and she didn't have any clothes on...
"Oh...fuck..."
"Fuck!" Kemmy threw a drumstick at the screen, which wasn't a good idea because it shattered the screen and caused the TV to explode.
But on another TV, in another celebrity household, the interview continued.
"Well, it was pretty intense, that's all I'm gonna say," the Green Day singer answered with a fiendish smile.
Mike Dirnt winced. He'd expected Billie Joe to pull something like this, but he was disappointed in Kemmy. Shouldn't she know better?
"Yeah, I knew better," admitted Kemmy on the phone. "But we were both drunk, well, I was drunk anyway. I think he must have been at least a little but... He's way older than me, I wouldn't, you know, have that kind of a relationship with him--"
"Did you have sex with him?" Mike asked bluntly.
"No - well - I don't know," Kemmy stammered. "Like I said, I was drunk, I don't remem--"
"You really screwed up!" yelled Mike.
"I know," she muttered. "I know."
"I'm going to talk to Billie Joe about this and if I find out you two had sex --"
"You'll kill me. Yeah. And him. But it's not the end of the world, Mike, it was just a kiss, as far as I know---"
"It might just be the end of the world," growled Mike. "I'll talk to you later."
The line went dead.
"Ohhhh shit..." Mike swore with a sigh.
*~*~*
"It was worth it," Billie Joe replied to the 'what the hell were you thinking' Mike greeted him with. "Seriously, it's not that big of a deal--"
"Uh, Billie? She's way too young for you. She's eighteen, and you're twenty-eight. That's a ten year difference."
"Fuck, it's not like we're getting married or anything," Billie Joe snapped.
"Let's just hope this doesn't screw things up for us."
*~*~*
-AT TRE'S HOUSE-
Kemmy twirled one of Tre's drumsticks. "How's Billie Joe?"
Tre snickered. "He's not even worried. Mike is the only one who freaked out about it. So, anyway--"
"Tre!" Billie Joe yelled, flinging open the front door. He ran into the living room and stopped when he saw Kemmy. "Hey Kemmy," he greeted nonchalantly. Then he turned to Tre. "Firstly, your front door is unlocked. Secondly, your car is on fire. Thirdly, I'm bored and Mike is too pissed off to hang out."
"You mean the car's still on fire?" Tre asked, curiously. "I didn't think it would burn that long..."
Both Billie Joe and Kemmy just stared. Then they shrugged it off thinking, 'oh well, it's Tre..'
"So Kemmy, have you been watching TV lately?" Billie Joe asked casually.
Kemmy rolled her eyes. "Actually, ever since it exploded, I haven't really been able to get a good picture..."
"Don't ask," Tre advised.
The drum stick Kemmy had been spinning flew out of her hand.
"That's kinda it," Tre said with a laugh.
"Oh." Billie Joe still looked confused, and looked as if he were about to say something, then decided against it.
"I taped the interview though! Never fear!" yelled Tre, putting in a tape.
"Um, that's ok, Tre, I'll watch it later," Kemmy said hastily, turning off the TV. "Hey, Tre, can you get me a Coke? I'm parched."
"Yeaaaah!" Tre jumped over the couch and skipped into the kitchen.
"We need to talk." Kemmy's arms were folded.
"Sure - how about tonight?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean," Billie Joe said with a smile, "that I'm going to take you out to dinner, and we can discuss it then."
"Are you sure --"
"That's not a good idea," called Tre from the kitchen. "I'll have to come along too." Billie Joe scowled.
"It's okay, Tre, you can trust us. We're both sober!" Kemmy tried to reassure him.
Tre just shrugged and smiled knowingly. "Just remember that Mike's really gonna be pissed if you two screw up again. But if you don't want me to come along, I understand." He mocked a sob.
"This is just something we need to work out."
*~*~*
They parked, and went in. Billie Joe took off his sunglasses. He trusted this bar because it was obscure and usually safe from paparazzi.
Kemmy squirmed around in her seat. When Billie Joe tried to order alcohol, she interrrupted with "maybe that's not a good idea."
Billie Joe just shrugged. "I'm not going to get drunk, I just need to loosen up."
She wasn't reassured, but didn't argue. "I guess I'll have what he's having too." Billie Joe raised his eyebrows, but Kemmy didn't seem to notice.
"You have a lower tolerance than I do," Billie Joe reminded her. "Are you sure that's --"
"I'm not going to get drunk," Kemmy mimicked.
"Sometimes you worry me," muttered Billie Joe.
- 2 hours later -
"Ahahaha!" Kemmy laughed, finishing her drink. "Oh wow, I don't even know how many I've had now!" she remarked, looking at the empty glass.
Billie Joe started laughing too. "You're really drunk."
"No I'm not," Kemmy protested and promptly fell out of her chair.
"Hahaha, let me help you..." Billie Joe tried to help her up, but he was also drunk, so when he finally got her on her feet, he was almost falling over as well.
"Thanks for saving me," Kemmy said gratefully. She suddenly looked confused. "Weren't we supposed to be talking about something?"
"Yeah, how I'm not supposed to do this," Billie Joe answered before kissing her roughly. Kemmy giggled.
"Well, if you're not supposed to do that why'd you do it?"
"Cuz I like it and I think you like it too." He started kissing her on the neck.
"Haha, Mike would be really mad if he could see this," Kemmy said, still laughing.
"Screw Mike," Billie Joe growled, and got out his keys.
"Where're we going?" Kemmy asked dizzily.
"Someplace where we can do whatever we want," Billie Joe answered vaguely.
*~*~*
-AT THE HOTEL-
"So this is it?" Kemmy asked, sitting down on the bed. "The place where we can do whatever we want?"
"Mm-hm," Billie Joe replied, sitting next to her and kissing her on the cheek.
"Oh, good," Kemmy murmured. "And when we wake up tomorrow none of it will be real?"
"None of it," he told her, between kisses and taking off his signature red tie.
-NEXT MORNING-
Kemmy opened her eyes. Billie Joe had his arms around her, the sun was spilling into the room, and the bed sheets were all messed up. Oh, and she didn't have any clothes on...
"Oh...fuck..."
♠ ♠ ♠
=] and so it begins.