Run like you do, I'm chasing you

The whole way back to the house, my head was like hanging out of the window, and I was astonished as we pulled up to a newly built home. It was enormous, definitely nothing like I’d ever seen. We didn’t have homes like this back where I lived, the small middle-class community, in Pennsylvania. Oh yes, I could definitely get used to this. Once again Joe, Kevin, and Nick carried my bags in while I carried the ‘Bonus Jonas’. Denise showed the way into the house and we headed towards the kitchen, I was in awe the whole time. I gawked at the beautiful architecture of the home. Kevin Sr. gestured for the boys to take my things upstairs as he sat at the small round table in the breakfast nook. By this time Frankie had jumped out of my arms and made his way towards the TV. I heard the theme song to ‘Spongebob Squarepants’ come on as Denise opened her mouth to speak.

“So how have you been, sweetheart? We’ve missed you so much. The boys just aren’t the same without you around.” The corners of her mouth drooped a bit as she said this. I heard the thud of steps then someone came up behind me and wrapped their arms around my waist. Joe. A tingle went up my spine and I could feel the redness enter my cheeks.

“We are going to have the BEST summer ever!” He added emphases on the word ‘best’ and I knew he truly meant it.

“Fine, but you HAVE to take me to the beach as soon as possible.” This time I added emphases onto ‘have’. We went to the beach every summer, but I had never seen the West Coast. Only Ocean City or Myrtle Beach. Once or twice we’d been to Dewey Beach, down in Delaware.

“We’ll go tonight. How does that sound? We can go when the sun starts to go down. Less people on the beach means less publicity.” I just smiled at Joe then to Kevin and Nick who were looking at me with hopeful eyes.

“Okay!” Soon we were talking about my schooling and the boys touring. Luckily, they were on a break from touring until late August. I would be going along for the beginning. I was happy I’d get to see them perform again. It’d been such a long time. They had a show in Hershey, PA the week before I had to go back to school, so this would be the last of my journey. They would drop me off and keep going. Eventually the conversation turned to the subject of the boys.

“So Kate, any boyfriends we should know about?” I looked up at Denise who was smiling at me. She gave me a little wink and I looked over at Nick to see his expression. He was staring down at the counter, as if he was feeling bad about something.

“Nope. No boyfriends…” I trailed off only to realize I had zoned out.

“Kate, Katelyn? Hello? Anybody in there?” My eyes snapped back into focus to see Joe’s hand waving in from of my face.

“There you are!” Everybody was laughing at me. I could feel my face heat up and I knew I was turning red.

“Sorry guys. I spaced out”

“You still do that?” Kevin looked at me as if this was something I should have grown out of by now. I guess you could say it was a bit of a safety hazard. I have the tendency to loose focus from the entire world. I could be about to jump off a cliff and not realize it. I tune everything out. I can’t hear, I can’t see. Definitely a safety hazard. Once I got lost because I wasn’t paying attention. I was walking down the street with some friends and I spaced out, like I do. When I finally awoke from my trance, I looked around and there was nobody to be found. My friends had walked off without me noticing.

“Yeah, I guess so. Sorry, what were you saying?” Nick perked up, but not in a good way. I could tell he didn’t want to repeat what he had just said, hoping the subject would pass.

“We were just talking about Nick's little girlfriend, here.” Joe threw his arm around Nick’s shoulder and I gaped in shock. A girlfriend? Why hadn’t I heard about this? My face became flushed and I could feel the tears welling up, but I kept my composure. I had come here to tell Nick how I felt and now he had a girlfriend! Well, isn't this just perfect..

“A girlfriend? Thanks for telling me, Nick. So much for being my best friend.” I tried to play this off as being a joke but it truly stung to know that he wouldn’t even tell me.

“What’s her name?”

“Uhm, her name is Miley. You know, Miley Cyrus.” I was astounded. I had thought this was just a rumor, for the press. Little did I know that he was actually with her. My jaw dropped to the floor. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream. Miley fucking Cyrus. How was I suppose to compete with her?

I quickly excused myself from the discussion saying I should go upstairs to get changed into my bathing suit. We were still going to the beach regardless of how I felt. I didn’t think I could enjoy with this new information clawing at my heart. Kevin Sr. pointed the way to the guest room I would be staying in and I made a quick dash for the steps. When I finally reached my room, I began to sob. Shrinking into the off white carpet. I pulled myself together enough to change into the cute bikini I had brought and a sundress to go over top, knowing full well that I wouldn’t be getting in the water tonight. I knew that if I spent too much time upstairs someone would come looking, so I dragged my feet out the door and put on a fake smile. I didn’t want to let anybody know they way I was feeling, even though my eyes hurt, and I knew they were red.

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I was feeling a bit better now that I was on the beach. Walking in the soft sand, bare feet, the wind blowing in my face, with the guys I loved most. Kevin to my right, Joe on my left, and Nick trailing behind us. I was glad that I didn’t have to look Nick in the eyes. I had just gotten my heart broken and he didn’t even know it. Kevin looked back at Nick and ushered him to the side. Joe and I stopped but Kevin just gestured us to go on, so we did. Walking along the crashing waves, I felt the cool water splashing against my feet. It was silent for a while, except for the hum of the ocean, and the squishing sound of our footsteps. I was startled when Joe spoke up.

“You look really beautiful tonight, Katie.” We had stopped and he was looking into my eyes. I didn’t know what to do or what to say. Kevin and Nick had already started to walk back to the house and we were alone. I said the first thing that came to mind.

“Thanks, I guess. You look pretty good yourself.” He was dressed in a loosely fitted white button up shirt and a pair of baggy shorts. He looked down at the ground and smiled. Then looked back up at me. I wasn’t sure what he was planning until our faces were mere inches apart. Soon his lips were on mine, his hands grasping the back of my neck. I grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled him into me. It hadn’t lasted more than a few seconds, when Joe pulled back. I let go of his shirt and instinctively pressed my fingers to my lips, realizing what had just happened. I turned and started the walk back to the house. I wasn’t sure if I was going in the right direction but I needed to get out of this situation. He started to call my name, obviously hurt with my reaction. I picked up the pace of my walking, and I felt tears stinging my eyes. Over the next few days, I tried to avoid Joe, as well as Nick as much as possible, so I mostly hung out with Kevin and Frankie. I wasn't too sure, what to say to either of them. I told Kevin about everything, and he just told me to tell Nick the way I felt, and to just let Joe explain why he kissed me. I wasn't sure if I could. I was never good at showing my feelings, or talking about them, except with Kevy of course. I knew that if I didn't do this though, this summer will have been ruined all because of me. I just sighed, and fell back on my bed trying to rid my mind of all these thoughts.