Breathe in Breathe Out

When I got to Gabe’s apartment I lost all of my courage to tell him.

“Hey, you know I’m sorry for getting mad at you last night. I had no right to. Me and you were broken up I love you.” It broke my heart to hear those words.

“Gabe, I’m sorry, but I can’t marry you. I don’t know if we can be together anymore. I’m going to stay at the hotel again” I said quietly then handed him the ring.

“But why?” He asked confused and defenseless.

“Gabe, it’s just not right between us. I’m sorry.” I said in barely a whisper, with one last look at his broken state I left the apartment. I got about 100 texts before I got to the hotel, all of them from Gabe. For some reason he felt bad for the breakup even though it should be me. The thing is I didn’t feel bad but I felt bad for not feeling bad.

When I got back to the hotel I went straight up to William’s room. Right when he opened the door I blurted “Me and Gabe aren’t together anymore.”

“And you’re bragging about it?” He asked “You should be extremely upset and crying; that’s how you usually are after a break up.”

“Yeah; but I know it’s for the better.” I couldn’t help but smile. “Anyways I have to tell Andy. Thanks for being a friend.” I said then gave him a hug. I basically skipped to Andy’s room. I was just that happy.

“Hey beau.” I smiled as he opened the door.

“Since when do you call me beau?”

“Since I’m allowed to cause I don’t have a boyfriend, let alone a fiancé.” I walked passed him, into the spacious room.

“What? You broke up with Gabe after you got engaged, but you couldn’t do it sooner?”

My brow furrowed “I don’t get what you’re saying.”

“I’m saying you didn’t want to break up with him in the beginning because you just got together, but you can break up with him after you got engaged? Electra, I’m pretty sure you hurt him worse now than it would have before.”

“But… I was doing it for us to be together.” My happy high was slowly dwindling.

“Yeah, well why would I want a girl that would do that?” Tears welled up in my eyes. How could he be doing this?

“Well why would you want a girl that’s engaged?” I challenged

“I don’t- but I don’t know, Electra, I just- don’t. Can you just leave?”

“Yeah, sure why not? I mean I just broke off an engagement for you, no biggie.” I said sarcastically. Walking out I went down to the lobby and booked the biggest room I could get.

I went by William’s room and asked him to stay with me because I hated being alone. He agreed, but had plans for lunch and dinner. I would be alone until at least nine. I tried to make plans but I didn’t really know anyone in New York.

I called up my sister for dinner, she agreed immediately but I still had nothing to do until six. The next best thing? Shopping. You may think shopping in New York would be fun, but it’s actually annoying; there are too many tourists that have no clue what they’re doing squished into every little space there is left. Finally I found the perfect little black dress to wear on dates, too bad I probably wouldn’t be going on many dates anytime soon.

I then went into a shoe store and saw Gabe trying on a pair of Nikes I was about to leave when he noticed me.

“Electra, did you come here to find me?” he asked

“No, sorry I wish I could say that. Are you okay?” he always bought Nikes when he was upset.

“Well I was, but my fiancé isn’t my fiancé anymore and uh it kind of crushed me.”

“Gabe I’m sorry. I love you and all it’s just we’re not right together. I mean we love each other to a point but it doesn’t count.” What was I even saying? It made no sense. Hopefully he’d buy it.

“Isn’t love the reason people stay together?”

“Yes, but the love I have for you is more of a friend type and I mean I loved you before the break up but I just don’t know what to say.”

“Ok so you’re pretty much saying you don’t love me?”

“Kind of,”

“Then why would you say yes to the engagement in the first place?”

“Gabe, you know why, I’ve always wanted to get married. And for a moment I thought you were right” I looked up and realized that the employees of the store were watching us. “Let’s have lunch together okay. We need to talk.” I said helping him up and then dragging him to the food court.

We talked for hours and resolved our problems settling on being just friends. Realizing the time, I rushed home and got ready for dinner with my sister.

When I got back to my hotel room, William was in there with Andy. I tried to back out of the room but William saw me.

“Do you really need to make my day worse?” I whined as he leaped up and grabbed a hold of my arm.

“This isn’t about you it’s about Andy.”

“William let me go!”

“No, you guys were best friends now Andy comes to me, hating you.” Hate?

“He has no reason to so I don’t get it.”

“Well you need to make up with each other because in a few days were starting tour and I don’t want any crap between you two.”

“Fine just leave us alone okay?” I said angrily. He nodded then left the room silently. “So William is worried for our friendship?” I asked walking further into the room. “You know you didn’t have to go to my best friend and complain about me. Why do you hate me?”

“I don’t hate you, in fact I don’t think I can hate you, but how could you just hurt someone so easily and be okay with it?”

“I wasn’t okay with it, Andy but I did it for us.”

“Yeah, but if I got with you and you started liking someone else you would break up with me and get with them.”

“Andy that would never happen, why are you being so pessimistic?” I mean, me and Gabe are already friends again.” I sat down on the chair at the desk in the corner not wanting to be on the bed with him.

“I just don’t know I’ll see you on tour. Andy said then got off the bed and walked out of the room.

Tour didn’t start for three days does that mean he’s just going to avoid me?

William walked back in. “I’m guessing it didn’t go too well.”

“No but thank you, me and Andy needed to talk thank you for being a best friend and understanding everything.”

“No problem Electra.” Dinner was too hard to deal with I called my sister and asked for a rain check I just needed a good cry.