‹ Prequel: The Pros and Cons of Loving
The Pros and Cons of Growing Up
Part Twenty-Six
Eric’s POV
Watching Gerard and Frank’s interaction almost made me jealous. They still seemed so close, yet Aiden and I seemed to be so… not close. Which really says something, because Frank and Gerard aren’t even technically married anymore. Maybe its marriage. It curses everything.
I sighed softly and left the room, almost not able to take it. I quietly told Aiden I was going to go clean some, and headed downstairs.
It wasn’t until one in the morning that Aiden came and got into bed. I was half asleep when I felt his arms go around me.
I turned in his arms to face him and tiredly looked up at him. “I’m sorry I was mean to you earlier, honey… I-I need to stop and think before I talk.”
“I wasn’t exactly nice to you either.” he pointed out, sighing. “I’m scared… for us, for dad, for me… I’m just scared.”
“Everyone will be just fine, Aiden.” I assured him, hugging him.
“We aren’t the same.” He whispered quietly, like he was afraid saying it out loud made it true.
“Look…” I looked him in the eyes. “We will be fine…. We will get through this. Because we don’t give up on ourselves… or on each other.”
“I’m still scared.” He whispered. “I don’t mean to be but I am… and I can’t help that.”
I rubbed his back gently, sighing. At least I wasn’t the only one who thought he and I were slipping apart. Or in his words, ‘not the same.’
“I don’t want us to fall apart.” He sighed as well. “I need you, Eric… I need you.”
“We won’t fall apart. Don’t say shit like that.” I snapped suddenly.
“You know its true, Eric! You know we aren’t the same…” Aiden closed his eyes and I watched him drift off to sleep, wishing I wasn’t thinking the same thing too…
Three Days Later
Aiden’s POV
“Aiden, it’s time to get up.”
My eyes opened and I looked around, until my eyes landed on my dad. “What?”
“You need to get up. It’s noon.” Dad said, turning my light on.
I rolled onto my stomach, pulling my covers over my head to block out the light.
“Aiden, come on. Get up. Now.” He said, and then I heard my door close.
I sat up angrily, wondering why Dad was even out of bed. The medicine he has been on the last few days have made him feel better, but he’s still supposed to be on bed rest. Bed rest does not include waking your son up and forcing him out of bed.
I fell back onto the bed and sighed, staring at my ceiling.
“AIDEN!” Dad yelled from somewhere else in the house. “NOW!”
“Just because you’re fucking bored.” I growled to myself, pushing myself up and out of bed. I tugged on some jeans and a shirt and headed downstairs, patting my hair down. “Why are you even up, Dad?”
“Because Gerard left and I’m not sitting in bed all day when I feel fine.” Dad said in a very teenager-like tone.
“And why did you wake me up?” I groaned, sliding into a chair at the table.
“I already told you. It’s noon. Don’t argue with me.” He snapped, walking towards the refrigerator and pulling out a can of soda. He popped it open and began chugging it before I could even open my mouth.
“Fine.” I stood back up. “I’m going to go back to my room.”
“No, you aren’t. You’ll just go back to sleep. You’re going to stay out here with me.” He threw the half drank can into the garbage and I looked at him curiously, wondering why he was acting so strangely. “Do you want to watch a movie?”
“Uhm… sure.” I shrugged, sighing. Dad led me into the living room and plopped down onto the couch as I bent down to look through the movies. I eventually settled for The Nightmare Before Christmas and sat down by Dad on the couch.
“Sorry I was a little snappy earlier… I’m just annoyed at this lack of life.” He sighed, biting his lip as the movie began.
“It’s alright.” I shrugged. “Are you still feeling better?”
He nodded energetically, grinning, and said, “I think the doctor was right. All I needed was sleep and food. Gerard still doesn’t want me to do anything though.”
“Just be careful… he probably said you needed to be in bed for a reason.” I said, resting against him.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
“I’m alright.” I shrugged. To be honest, I wasn’t aright. I still felt as if everything was crashing down in front of me. This was the calm before the storm. I just knew it.
“Now how about the truth?”
“You’re under enough stress already, Dad. Please don’t make me tell you.” I bit my lip so hard I could taste a small bit of coppery blood. I cringed and immediately quit biting down.
“I’m your father; I want you to come to me when you have a problem.” Dad said softly.
“You’re my father and I don’t want to lose you.” I challenged, crossing my arms over my chest. “When you feel completely better, I’ll spill everything in my little black heart… until then, let’s just watch the movie.”
Dad made a huff, crossing his arms over his chest and muttering that he wasn’t an invalid as This Is Halloween came on. We fell into an uneasy silence, both of us watching the movie but neither of us really seeing it.
A Little While Later…
Gerard’s POV
“Frankie, I still don’t think you should be cooking. Let me make it and go sit down.” I said hastily, jogging towards Frank who was at the stove making pasta.
“Would you please stop acting like I can’t do anything? I’ve been ‘resting’ and ‘in bed’ for a fucking week. I’m tired of resting, Gee. Let me make the fucking food!” Frank snapped, throwing his hands into the air.
I put a hand on his arm. “I just don’t want you to get sick, hon.”
He stalked to the table and sat down. “You can’t treat me like this forever!”
I started stirring his pasta, ignoring his continued insults and grumblings. He fell silent after a few minutes and I turned to look back at him. His head was buried in his hands, messing his hair up, and he was wincing.
“Frank?” I asked urgently, rushing over to his side. I kneeled down next to him, putting a hand on his knee.
“I…” he gasped out. He looked as if he couldn’t speak and his green eyes were wide. The color drained from his face as well and he stared at me in fear.
“AIDEN GET IN HERE!” I shouted, dread coursing through me. “TURN THE OVEN OFF!” I grasped Frank’s sweaty hand, squeezing it. “Honey?”
His hand jerked inside of mine several times and his breathing was ragged.
“Frankie?” I asked, more loudly this time. He wasn’t focusing on me, and I wanted him to. It didn’t work, though. I repeated his name louder several more times, still not earning even the slightest hint he knew I was speaking, or near him at all. His hand continued to twitch in mine and I laid his palm flat on the table, but the twitch did not stop.
Aiden came into the room, looking slightly annoyed at being shouted at, and said, “What’s going o—oh, shit.” He turned the oven off and ran to us. “What’s wrong with him?”
“I-I don’t know. Frank?” I said, shaking Frankie a little bit.
To my shock, he collapsed against me, knocking me down onto the floor, taking in deep gasps for breaths. He then began to cry, his hand that I was holding down quit jerking and he pulled it from my grasp and used it to ball my shirt in his fist. I rolled so that I was next to him and he was sitting up on the floor.
“Baby?” I whispered, sighing in relief and pulling him closer to me. His body went stiff and his head and arms began jerking against me. I pulled away from him instantly, laying him very carefully on the floor and putting his head onto my lap. His eyes rolled into the back of his head, so I could only see the whites of them. In the calmest voice I could muster, I told Aiden, “I think Frank is having a seizure. I need you to get the phone, call 911, and ask them what to do. Come in here, so I can give you any information you need.”
Aiden rushed towards the living room where the phone lay on the coffee table, his eyes wide.
Frank’s entire body was rigid; his arms and lags convulsing like they had minds of their own. His head jerked into my thigh and I thought better than to try to hold his head still, so I just watched in horror as he shook on top of me.
It seemed like years, but eventually his body relaxed. I looked down at him. His pants were stained and he had drool coming down from his mouth. His eyes closed and his breathing slowly began to steady itself out, and his heart did as well. He seemed as if he was sleeping. I brushed back his bangs, looking down at my lap and staring at his pale face.
Aiden came into the room, looking very anxious. He stretched the phone out towards me, his hand shaking slightly. His eyes were on Frankie’s still form.
“Hello, sir?” the man at the other end of the phone asked.
“Hi. My husband just… had a seizure.” I said, looking at Frankie, and then added, “I think.”
“How long did it last?” he asked, and I heard shuffling papers.
The reality of the situation hit me and I suddenly felt like crying. I felt tears prickling at the corners of my eyes and felt a sob rise in my throat. “Erm… well, I think there were two… but one wasn’t as bad as the other.”
“I have tracked your address and an ambulance will be there within two minutes. Tell me what exactly happened.”
“First he couldn’t talk and his hand kept… jumping, I guess. He couldn’t breathe… and then he went still,” I took a deep breath, watching Frank, “and he started crying then he went rigid and his entire b-body was jerking and his eyes were rolled into his head… now he’s… sleeping.” I stared down at him, suddenly more scared than I had been before. All I wanted was for someone to come and tell me he would be okay. No. I wanted Frank to sit up himself and tell me he was okay. That I had imagined it. Or that I was dreaming.
My Frank had just had a fucking seizure. I couldn’t get my head around this. How long had it been? How long until the paramedics would be here? Was Frank sleeping?
“Okay, sir. It sounds like he had a Grand Mal seizure. Your son mentioned something about a coma?”
“When he was 16 or 17 he was in a coma for about a year.” I whispered into the phone. Red lights filled the room through the windows and I heard a knock at our front door. “The paramedics are here.”
“Alright, they’ll see to you. Have a good night.”
“Yeah…” I hung up as Aiden let the paramedics into the house… “He’s back here!”
Several Hours Later…
I had no clue what had happened.
We had given Frank his medicine and he had been completely fine. No head aches, no nothing. For two days.
Three hours ago, though, he had to be checked into the hospital because he’d had two seizures. One at home, and one on his way to the hospital. Due to regulations, they would not let me into the room with Frank until he was deemed “Okay.” It was ‘policy’ for families. They didn’t want me to get in the way if he started to get worse, in other words.
Aiden was sitting by the door, an absolute wreck. He had witnessed Frank’s seizure—part of it, at least— and had been very jumpy and anxious ever since. I couldn’t blame him. Aiden was the baby; he had always been much more sheltered than Bella. Plus he and Frankie had lived alone 5 years, they were like best friends. It was no wonder he was so scared now.
I stood and sat down by my son. Eric was in the bathroom.
I draped an arm around Aiden, sighing and wishing I knew what to say to make him feel better.
“What if he doesn’t wake up?” Aiden whispered quietly.
“Baby, he’s going to wake up.”
“I put so much stress on him.” Tears filled Aiden’s eyes. “I… I should have tried harder…”
“Don’t blame yourself.” I whispered, rubbing his back gently. “This isn’t your fault, honey… this was no one’s fault.”
“Why is everything so hard?” Aiden began to cry softly. “Why can’t it ever be normal?”
“Because God hates me.” I sighed. “It’s going to get better… everyone will be healthy, you’ll go back to school… everything will be fine, baby.”
“I hate living… I wanna see Dad… I wanna see him, Daddy.” Aiden cried.
“You can see him soon… shh, you can see him soon.” I said, rocking my baby.
“I don’t want him to die.” Aiden sobbed. “I can’t live without him, Daddy…”
“Don’t think like that. It won’t happen.”
“You don’t know that it won’t…”
Eric stepped into the room and slowly made his way over, extending two soda cans out towards Aiden and I. I smiled at him, accepting one. Aiden took the other and Eric opened his own, sitting down on my other side.
I coaxed Aiden into taking his soda and he did, sipping it slowly and wiping his eyes with his free hand. I rubbed Aiden’s back comfortingly, sighing softly.
Aiden muttered “Fuck this.” and stormed from the waiting room.
Eric stood up, immediately running after him. I saw them through the windows. They were outside. Aiden was sobbing, throwing his hands into the air and screaming at Eric, who was trying—and failing— to calm him down.
“Oh my.”
I looked up. Linda was here. When Frank had seemed to get better we had told her to not come into town, but I had called her the second Frank was into the room and Brian had arranged a plane to fly her over. Being in My Chem still had its advantages.
“What on Earth has… happened?” Linda asked, looking at Aiden and Eric screaming at one another.
“… Life.” I whispered.
“Bob told me where you all would be… is Frankie okay?” Linda sat by me, running a hand through her gray hair.
“He’s… he had a seizure this morning.” I explained quietly, eyes not leaving Aiden and Eric who were still screaming. “We’re waiting on news now.”
“And… Aiden? What…?”
“Well he’s not getting any better with his anorexia and… they’ve had constant problems since Aiden came home in December.” I tore my eyes away from my son and looked at Linda. “It’s a mad house… Bella and Nikki are with Jack in the cafeteria now, waiting. Aiden made Jack cry and… Bella wasn’t going to put up with that. Aiden’s in a really tough place right now… he and Eric.”
“Oh my.” Linda repeated. That was all she could say.
“Yeah… oh my.” I echoed, sighing. “Thank you for coming, Linda.”
“Don’t thank me, honey.” She smiled.
We fell into silence. I watched out the window as Eric tried to hug Aiden, only to be roughly shoved away.
“They won’t make it through this.” I whispered, shaking my head. “It’s too much, they’re too young. No one could ask them to put up with each other, it’s almost cruel… they got married too young. Their marriage is the only thing keeping them together now.”
Linda sighed softly, looking outside as well. “You never know what will happen. They could over come all of this and still be together twenty years from now. There were times when I thought you and Frank would never stay together.”
“Yeah and we got divorced.” I scoffed.
“But the important thing is you’re back together now.” She pointed out as a doctor came up. “When it’s meant to be, you always come back to one another.”
“Mr. Way?” he asked.
“Yes.” I stood up.
“Your husband has suffered from what is called a Grand Mal seizure… he will be fine, but we do believe it was linked to his coma when he was younger.” The man said calmly.
I had figured as much from the 911 operation so I just asked, “Is he… okay?”
“Yes. We gave him some medicine to sedate him while we did a cat scan, so he is unconscious… the good thing is though, there is normal brain activity. No paralysis… he is under great stress though.”
Aiden and Eric walked in at that moment, and rushed over. Linda shushed them while the doctor continued to speak to me.
“He has been having severe anxiety attacks over the past few days and that is what he’s been experiencing this last bit. If… If this stress continues, he could die. He could go into a coma, he could very well lose brain activity if his condition worsens.”
Aiden was watching, eyes wide in horror. Eric put an arm around him and this time he did not push Eric away. He seemed to shrink into his arms, like he could disappear from everything with just one more step back.
“It’s just good we caught this before something worse happened… he will be here a few days, to rest. It is… mandatory that he not be under this stress. I would advise… I would advise your band not touring… It could kill him.”
“We aren’t touring now.” I said, hardly recognizing my own voice. “We… the house has been very… c-crazy lately.” I ran a hand through my hair. “I… What can I do?”
“It’s simple. Keep him relaxed. Once he’s not stressed, he will be able to eat and sleep properly and he will be fine. He is a bit malnourished and dehydrated, but that was expected…”
I nodded and asked hesitantly, “Can we see him?”
“He’s unconscious, but yes. One at a time, though.” The doctor smiled. “He’s in room 34B…Down that hall and to the right. You can all wait outside the room.”
I nodded and the doctor walked away. Aiden was very evidently trying his hardest not to cry. Eric hugged him and we made our way to the room.
I went in to see Frankie, quietly closing the door behind me. I hated this, seeing him on a hospital bed. I had been in hospitals with Frankie too often.
I sat down by him, grasping his cold hand. The room was dark and cold, the only sound the beeps from the heart monitor. I looked at the IV in his hand, cringing. Frankie had never been afraid of needles, all of his tattoos were proof. I, however, had never been able to tolerate them.
“You’re going to be okay, Frankie.” I whispered, stroking his bangs from his eyes. I kissed his cheek. “You’ll be home in a few days and everything is gonna be so easy… you’ll see.”
He continued to lay on the hospital bed, eyes closed and breathing softly. He was beautiful.
I kissed his forehead, and then his lips. “I’m going to let the others see you and then I’ll be back in for the night.” I whispered, as if he could hear me. Maybe he could. I squeezed his hand, kissed each of his fingers, and slowly began to step away after gently resting his hand at his side.
I went out into the hallway. It was so bright that I winced, taken aback by all of the white and cheap fluorescent lighting. “Everyone needs rest so you can all have five minutes and then, Linda… would you mind taking Eric and Aiden home?” I asked, looking at Linda.
“No, Daddy! I’m staying!” Aiden snapped.
“Only one of us is allowed in the room, Aiden. You need sleep. You need a shower. Look, you can come first thing in the morning. He won’t even be awake until noon tomorrow, so there is no point in you killing yourself over this. Just go home.” I said impatiently, with finality in my voice.
“Of course I don’t mind.” Linda said. “I’ll go see Frankie.” She then went into the room, the door closing behind her and hiding her from view.
“Eric, I want you and Aiden to go in together… to make sure he’s okay.” I said quietly.
“Daddy, can’t I stay? I’ll sleep in the waiting room, I—.” Aiden began.
“Frank would kill me if I let you do that. You need to go home, get rest… bring Frankie a book or two when you come in the morning. I’ll give you some money.” I said, touching Aiden’s cheek. “Everything will be fine. You can’t freak out.”
Eric’s POV
Linda wasn’t in there very long before Aiden and I went in. It was very awkward, watching Aiden obviously so distraught.
He just looked down at his father, a look on his face I had never before seen. I wanted to grasp his hand, but I knew better than to do that. He bit his lip, brushing Frank’s bangs out of his eyes.
I got a good look at Frank, watching Aiden. Frank was pale, his lips were chapped and his chest gently rose and fell in a rhythmic pattern. His dark hair stood out against the white sheets. There was a machine beeping, showing his heart rate.
“Let’s go.” Aiden said, clearing his throat.
I looked up at him. “You can stay longer if you want.”
“No… let’s go home.” He shook his head forcefully; the same finality in his voice that had been in Gerard’s earlier. I smirked to myself on the inside. Aiden and Gerard thought they were nothing alike… Aiden was turning into Gerard more every time he turned a corner.
I grasped Aiden’s hand. “It’s okay, honey… everything is okay.”
“I know. I just wanna go home now.” Aiden sighed and walked out.
I looked at Frank one last time before leaving with Aiden.
Gerard’s POV
Later That Night…
I sat with Frankie, wishing he would wake up but knowing he wouldn’t. The doctors said it would be mid day tomorrow. If that.
I sighed, stroking the palm of his hand. He was so fragile looking on this bed.
“Frankie… Goddamnit, why do you have to get sick? I mean… why can’t you get a cold like a normal person? You just go straight for the hospital…” I whispered.
I sat there, almost worried sick. I had known that doctor was wrong, why hadn’t I taken him somewhere else?
Made him stay down more?
He’d said he felt fine, but I should have made him stay in bed more.
The door opened and light filled the dark room. A young nurse came in. “Hello, Mr. Way.”
“Hi.” I said as she walked over to Frankie’s bed.
“If you would like a blanket and pillow, there are some in the closet.” She said, checking Frank’s monitors. I nodded, glancing at the closet as she looked over Frankie.
“Is he going to be okay?” I heard myself almost whimper. I looked at him, hooked up to a million machines. The only two I recognized was the Oxygen one and the one monitoring his heart beat, which beeped every few seconds loudly, always startling me from my thoughts.
“I’m sure he’ll be just fine in time.” She smiled at me. “His breathing is normal, heart rate normal. He’s just in a deep sleep.”
I nodded, looking at my small Frankie. I knew it wasn’t my fault, but I couldn’t seem to believe that.
The nurse left, closing the door quietly behind her. I could still make Frankie out from what little light was coming from the hallway. I took his clammy cold hand in mine again, watching his face and hoping for a response. I didn’t get one and sighed.
I hated hospitals because all you could do was sit. Sit and sit and sit. It was dreadful.
I turned on the television, turning it to some Lifetime Movie. I always made fun of Aiden and Frank for watching Lifetime, when I was sitting here doing it myself. It was about this woman dying of cancer.
A doctor came in and informed me that they were taking Frank for another cat scan.
“Uh… okay.” I nodded, looking worriedly at Frankie. “Why? Is… I mean… he had one…”
“It’s routine. We want to keep an eye on him and make sure he’s alright.” He assured me.
“He looks okay. Are you saying he can look okay and be… brain dead or something?” I asked, horror evident in my voice. I felt the color drain from my face at just the thought.
“Oh, no! I just want to make sure everything is normal. Frank won’t go brain dead.” The doctor said quickly, eyes widening in shock.
“…Oh.” I said, and nodded.
He pushed down something on the bed, and wheeled it from the room without another word.
I sat back against the chair, staring at the empty place where Frank’s bed had been moments before. The room seemed even colder and darker without Frankie’s presence. It was depressing as hell.
Thirty minutes later, thirty very long minutes later, Frank was wheeled back into the room by the same doctor.
“Is—?” I began.
“Everything is still normal.” The young man wheeling him back in cut me off. “He needs to be propped up, though, because he did vomit. We want to make sure he doesn’t choke on his vomit in his sleep.”
“O-Okay.” I nodded.
“He’s good to go, though. Doctors will be in every once in a while to check up on him. I’ll re-hook up these machines and will be out until morning.” I watched the man re-putting in IVs and plugging machines in, heard the various beeps and watched as Frank was put back on oxygen, seeing his mask over his mouth cloud over with his breath, clear, and cloud over once again. “Have a nice night, sir.”
I couldn’t really pay attention to the movie anymore. I stared back and fourth at the screen and Frankie. He looked like he was sleeping and honestly, he hadn’t had a good nights sleep in a long time. I scooted my chair towards him, grasping his hand in mine again. “What can I do, sugar? What… what do you need from me to help you stay healthy?” I asked his sleeping form.
His mouth gave a little twitch and I felt his hand squeezing mine softly.
I smiled and ran my fingers through his hair. “I’m gonna make sure you’re okay, babe… Don’t worry. I’m gonna take care of everything.”
I looked back at the screen. A new movie had started and it was about some girl with Cancer, which automatically made me think of ‘Cancer.’
That’s not exactly the song you want to listen to while in the hospital, holding your unconscious lovers hand. Any relief I felt from Frank squeezing my hand left in an instant and I went back to staring back at forth at Frank and the movie until it was about halfway done when I felt myself dozing off. I went to the closet, got out a pillow and blanket, and turned the TV off. I then sat in my hard chair and watched Frank sleeping until I too fell asleep…
Watching Gerard and Frank’s interaction almost made me jealous. They still seemed so close, yet Aiden and I seemed to be so… not close. Which really says something, because Frank and Gerard aren’t even technically married anymore. Maybe its marriage. It curses everything.
I sighed softly and left the room, almost not able to take it. I quietly told Aiden I was going to go clean some, and headed downstairs.
It wasn’t until one in the morning that Aiden came and got into bed. I was half asleep when I felt his arms go around me.
I turned in his arms to face him and tiredly looked up at him. “I’m sorry I was mean to you earlier, honey… I-I need to stop and think before I talk.”
“I wasn’t exactly nice to you either.” he pointed out, sighing. “I’m scared… for us, for dad, for me… I’m just scared.”
“Everyone will be just fine, Aiden.” I assured him, hugging him.
“We aren’t the same.” He whispered quietly, like he was afraid saying it out loud made it true.
“Look…” I looked him in the eyes. “We will be fine…. We will get through this. Because we don’t give up on ourselves… or on each other.”
“I’m still scared.” He whispered. “I don’t mean to be but I am… and I can’t help that.”
I rubbed his back gently, sighing. At least I wasn’t the only one who thought he and I were slipping apart. Or in his words, ‘not the same.’
“I don’t want us to fall apart.” He sighed as well. “I need you, Eric… I need you.”
“We won’t fall apart. Don’t say shit like that.” I snapped suddenly.
“You know its true, Eric! You know we aren’t the same…” Aiden closed his eyes and I watched him drift off to sleep, wishing I wasn’t thinking the same thing too…
Three Days Later
Aiden’s POV
“Aiden, it’s time to get up.”
My eyes opened and I looked around, until my eyes landed on my dad. “What?”
“You need to get up. It’s noon.” Dad said, turning my light on.
I rolled onto my stomach, pulling my covers over my head to block out the light.
“Aiden, come on. Get up. Now.” He said, and then I heard my door close.
I sat up angrily, wondering why Dad was even out of bed. The medicine he has been on the last few days have made him feel better, but he’s still supposed to be on bed rest. Bed rest does not include waking your son up and forcing him out of bed.
I fell back onto the bed and sighed, staring at my ceiling.
“AIDEN!” Dad yelled from somewhere else in the house. “NOW!”
“Just because you’re fucking bored.” I growled to myself, pushing myself up and out of bed. I tugged on some jeans and a shirt and headed downstairs, patting my hair down. “Why are you even up, Dad?”
“Because Gerard left and I’m not sitting in bed all day when I feel fine.” Dad said in a very teenager-like tone.
“And why did you wake me up?” I groaned, sliding into a chair at the table.
“I already told you. It’s noon. Don’t argue with me.” He snapped, walking towards the refrigerator and pulling out a can of soda. He popped it open and began chugging it before I could even open my mouth.
“Fine.” I stood back up. “I’m going to go back to my room.”
“No, you aren’t. You’ll just go back to sleep. You’re going to stay out here with me.” He threw the half drank can into the garbage and I looked at him curiously, wondering why he was acting so strangely. “Do you want to watch a movie?”
“Uhm… sure.” I shrugged, sighing. Dad led me into the living room and plopped down onto the couch as I bent down to look through the movies. I eventually settled for The Nightmare Before Christmas and sat down by Dad on the couch.
“Sorry I was a little snappy earlier… I’m just annoyed at this lack of life.” He sighed, biting his lip as the movie began.
“It’s alright.” I shrugged. “Are you still feeling better?”
He nodded energetically, grinning, and said, “I think the doctor was right. All I needed was sleep and food. Gerard still doesn’t want me to do anything though.”
“Just be careful… he probably said you needed to be in bed for a reason.” I said, resting against him.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
“I’m alright.” I shrugged. To be honest, I wasn’t aright. I still felt as if everything was crashing down in front of me. This was the calm before the storm. I just knew it.
“Now how about the truth?”
“You’re under enough stress already, Dad. Please don’t make me tell you.” I bit my lip so hard I could taste a small bit of coppery blood. I cringed and immediately quit biting down.
“I’m your father; I want you to come to me when you have a problem.” Dad said softly.
“You’re my father and I don’t want to lose you.” I challenged, crossing my arms over my chest. “When you feel completely better, I’ll spill everything in my little black heart… until then, let’s just watch the movie.”
Dad made a huff, crossing his arms over his chest and muttering that he wasn’t an invalid as This Is Halloween came on. We fell into an uneasy silence, both of us watching the movie but neither of us really seeing it.
A Little While Later…
Gerard’s POV
“Frankie, I still don’t think you should be cooking. Let me make it and go sit down.” I said hastily, jogging towards Frank who was at the stove making pasta.
“Would you please stop acting like I can’t do anything? I’ve been ‘resting’ and ‘in bed’ for a fucking week. I’m tired of resting, Gee. Let me make the fucking food!” Frank snapped, throwing his hands into the air.
I put a hand on his arm. “I just don’t want you to get sick, hon.”
He stalked to the table and sat down. “You can’t treat me like this forever!”
I started stirring his pasta, ignoring his continued insults and grumblings. He fell silent after a few minutes and I turned to look back at him. His head was buried in his hands, messing his hair up, and he was wincing.
“Frank?” I asked urgently, rushing over to his side. I kneeled down next to him, putting a hand on his knee.
“I…” he gasped out. He looked as if he couldn’t speak and his green eyes were wide. The color drained from his face as well and he stared at me in fear.
“AIDEN GET IN HERE!” I shouted, dread coursing through me. “TURN THE OVEN OFF!” I grasped Frank’s sweaty hand, squeezing it. “Honey?”
His hand jerked inside of mine several times and his breathing was ragged.
“Frankie?” I asked, more loudly this time. He wasn’t focusing on me, and I wanted him to. It didn’t work, though. I repeated his name louder several more times, still not earning even the slightest hint he knew I was speaking, or near him at all. His hand continued to twitch in mine and I laid his palm flat on the table, but the twitch did not stop.
Aiden came into the room, looking slightly annoyed at being shouted at, and said, “What’s going o—oh, shit.” He turned the oven off and ran to us. “What’s wrong with him?”
“I-I don’t know. Frank?” I said, shaking Frankie a little bit.
To my shock, he collapsed against me, knocking me down onto the floor, taking in deep gasps for breaths. He then began to cry, his hand that I was holding down quit jerking and he pulled it from my grasp and used it to ball my shirt in his fist. I rolled so that I was next to him and he was sitting up on the floor.
“Baby?” I whispered, sighing in relief and pulling him closer to me. His body went stiff and his head and arms began jerking against me. I pulled away from him instantly, laying him very carefully on the floor and putting his head onto my lap. His eyes rolled into the back of his head, so I could only see the whites of them. In the calmest voice I could muster, I told Aiden, “I think Frank is having a seizure. I need you to get the phone, call 911, and ask them what to do. Come in here, so I can give you any information you need.”
Aiden rushed towards the living room where the phone lay on the coffee table, his eyes wide.
Frank’s entire body was rigid; his arms and lags convulsing like they had minds of their own. His head jerked into my thigh and I thought better than to try to hold his head still, so I just watched in horror as he shook on top of me.
It seemed like years, but eventually his body relaxed. I looked down at him. His pants were stained and he had drool coming down from his mouth. His eyes closed and his breathing slowly began to steady itself out, and his heart did as well. He seemed as if he was sleeping. I brushed back his bangs, looking down at my lap and staring at his pale face.
Aiden came into the room, looking very anxious. He stretched the phone out towards me, his hand shaking slightly. His eyes were on Frankie’s still form.
“Hello, sir?” the man at the other end of the phone asked.
“Hi. My husband just… had a seizure.” I said, looking at Frankie, and then added, “I think.”
“How long did it last?” he asked, and I heard shuffling papers.
The reality of the situation hit me and I suddenly felt like crying. I felt tears prickling at the corners of my eyes and felt a sob rise in my throat. “Erm… well, I think there were two… but one wasn’t as bad as the other.”
“I have tracked your address and an ambulance will be there within two minutes. Tell me what exactly happened.”
“First he couldn’t talk and his hand kept… jumping, I guess. He couldn’t breathe… and then he went still,” I took a deep breath, watching Frank, “and he started crying then he went rigid and his entire b-body was jerking and his eyes were rolled into his head… now he’s… sleeping.” I stared down at him, suddenly more scared than I had been before. All I wanted was for someone to come and tell me he would be okay. No. I wanted Frank to sit up himself and tell me he was okay. That I had imagined it. Or that I was dreaming.
My Frank had just had a fucking seizure. I couldn’t get my head around this. How long had it been? How long until the paramedics would be here? Was Frank sleeping?
“Okay, sir. It sounds like he had a Grand Mal seizure. Your son mentioned something about a coma?”
“When he was 16 or 17 he was in a coma for about a year.” I whispered into the phone. Red lights filled the room through the windows and I heard a knock at our front door. “The paramedics are here.”
“Alright, they’ll see to you. Have a good night.”
“Yeah…” I hung up as Aiden let the paramedics into the house… “He’s back here!”
Several Hours Later…
I had no clue what had happened.
We had given Frank his medicine and he had been completely fine. No head aches, no nothing. For two days.
Three hours ago, though, he had to be checked into the hospital because he’d had two seizures. One at home, and one on his way to the hospital. Due to regulations, they would not let me into the room with Frank until he was deemed “Okay.” It was ‘policy’ for families. They didn’t want me to get in the way if he started to get worse, in other words.
Aiden was sitting by the door, an absolute wreck. He had witnessed Frank’s seizure—part of it, at least— and had been very jumpy and anxious ever since. I couldn’t blame him. Aiden was the baby; he had always been much more sheltered than Bella. Plus he and Frankie had lived alone 5 years, they were like best friends. It was no wonder he was so scared now.
I stood and sat down by my son. Eric was in the bathroom.
I draped an arm around Aiden, sighing and wishing I knew what to say to make him feel better.
“What if he doesn’t wake up?” Aiden whispered quietly.
“Baby, he’s going to wake up.”
“I put so much stress on him.” Tears filled Aiden’s eyes. “I… I should have tried harder…”
“Don’t blame yourself.” I whispered, rubbing his back gently. “This isn’t your fault, honey… this was no one’s fault.”
“Why is everything so hard?” Aiden began to cry softly. “Why can’t it ever be normal?”
“Because God hates me.” I sighed. “It’s going to get better… everyone will be healthy, you’ll go back to school… everything will be fine, baby.”
“I hate living… I wanna see Dad… I wanna see him, Daddy.” Aiden cried.
“You can see him soon… shh, you can see him soon.” I said, rocking my baby.
“I don’t want him to die.” Aiden sobbed. “I can’t live without him, Daddy…”
“Don’t think like that. It won’t happen.”
“You don’t know that it won’t…”
Eric stepped into the room and slowly made his way over, extending two soda cans out towards Aiden and I. I smiled at him, accepting one. Aiden took the other and Eric opened his own, sitting down on my other side.
I coaxed Aiden into taking his soda and he did, sipping it slowly and wiping his eyes with his free hand. I rubbed Aiden’s back comfortingly, sighing softly.
Aiden muttered “Fuck this.” and stormed from the waiting room.
Eric stood up, immediately running after him. I saw them through the windows. They were outside. Aiden was sobbing, throwing his hands into the air and screaming at Eric, who was trying—and failing— to calm him down.
“Oh my.”
I looked up. Linda was here. When Frank had seemed to get better we had told her to not come into town, but I had called her the second Frank was into the room and Brian had arranged a plane to fly her over. Being in My Chem still had its advantages.
“What on Earth has… happened?” Linda asked, looking at Aiden and Eric screaming at one another.
“… Life.” I whispered.
“Bob told me where you all would be… is Frankie okay?” Linda sat by me, running a hand through her gray hair.
“He’s… he had a seizure this morning.” I explained quietly, eyes not leaving Aiden and Eric who were still screaming. “We’re waiting on news now.”
“And… Aiden? What…?”
“Well he’s not getting any better with his anorexia and… they’ve had constant problems since Aiden came home in December.” I tore my eyes away from my son and looked at Linda. “It’s a mad house… Bella and Nikki are with Jack in the cafeteria now, waiting. Aiden made Jack cry and… Bella wasn’t going to put up with that. Aiden’s in a really tough place right now… he and Eric.”
“Oh my.” Linda repeated. That was all she could say.
“Yeah… oh my.” I echoed, sighing. “Thank you for coming, Linda.”
“Don’t thank me, honey.” She smiled.
We fell into silence. I watched out the window as Eric tried to hug Aiden, only to be roughly shoved away.
“They won’t make it through this.” I whispered, shaking my head. “It’s too much, they’re too young. No one could ask them to put up with each other, it’s almost cruel… they got married too young. Their marriage is the only thing keeping them together now.”
Linda sighed softly, looking outside as well. “You never know what will happen. They could over come all of this and still be together twenty years from now. There were times when I thought you and Frank would never stay together.”
“Yeah and we got divorced.” I scoffed.
“But the important thing is you’re back together now.” She pointed out as a doctor came up. “When it’s meant to be, you always come back to one another.”
“Mr. Way?” he asked.
“Yes.” I stood up.
“Your husband has suffered from what is called a Grand Mal seizure… he will be fine, but we do believe it was linked to his coma when he was younger.” The man said calmly.
I had figured as much from the 911 operation so I just asked, “Is he… okay?”
“Yes. We gave him some medicine to sedate him while we did a cat scan, so he is unconscious… the good thing is though, there is normal brain activity. No paralysis… he is under great stress though.”
Aiden and Eric walked in at that moment, and rushed over. Linda shushed them while the doctor continued to speak to me.
“He has been having severe anxiety attacks over the past few days and that is what he’s been experiencing this last bit. If… If this stress continues, he could die. He could go into a coma, he could very well lose brain activity if his condition worsens.”
Aiden was watching, eyes wide in horror. Eric put an arm around him and this time he did not push Eric away. He seemed to shrink into his arms, like he could disappear from everything with just one more step back.
“It’s just good we caught this before something worse happened… he will be here a few days, to rest. It is… mandatory that he not be under this stress. I would advise… I would advise your band not touring… It could kill him.”
“We aren’t touring now.” I said, hardly recognizing my own voice. “We… the house has been very… c-crazy lately.” I ran a hand through my hair. “I… What can I do?”
“It’s simple. Keep him relaxed. Once he’s not stressed, he will be able to eat and sleep properly and he will be fine. He is a bit malnourished and dehydrated, but that was expected…”
I nodded and asked hesitantly, “Can we see him?”
“He’s unconscious, but yes. One at a time, though.” The doctor smiled. “He’s in room 34B…Down that hall and to the right. You can all wait outside the room.”
I nodded and the doctor walked away. Aiden was very evidently trying his hardest not to cry. Eric hugged him and we made our way to the room.
I went in to see Frankie, quietly closing the door behind me. I hated this, seeing him on a hospital bed. I had been in hospitals with Frankie too often.
I sat down by him, grasping his cold hand. The room was dark and cold, the only sound the beeps from the heart monitor. I looked at the IV in his hand, cringing. Frankie had never been afraid of needles, all of his tattoos were proof. I, however, had never been able to tolerate them.
“You’re going to be okay, Frankie.” I whispered, stroking his bangs from his eyes. I kissed his cheek. “You’ll be home in a few days and everything is gonna be so easy… you’ll see.”
He continued to lay on the hospital bed, eyes closed and breathing softly. He was beautiful.
I kissed his forehead, and then his lips. “I’m going to let the others see you and then I’ll be back in for the night.” I whispered, as if he could hear me. Maybe he could. I squeezed his hand, kissed each of his fingers, and slowly began to step away after gently resting his hand at his side.
I went out into the hallway. It was so bright that I winced, taken aback by all of the white and cheap fluorescent lighting. “Everyone needs rest so you can all have five minutes and then, Linda… would you mind taking Eric and Aiden home?” I asked, looking at Linda.
“No, Daddy! I’m staying!” Aiden snapped.
“Only one of us is allowed in the room, Aiden. You need sleep. You need a shower. Look, you can come first thing in the morning. He won’t even be awake until noon tomorrow, so there is no point in you killing yourself over this. Just go home.” I said impatiently, with finality in my voice.
“Of course I don’t mind.” Linda said. “I’ll go see Frankie.” She then went into the room, the door closing behind her and hiding her from view.
“Eric, I want you and Aiden to go in together… to make sure he’s okay.” I said quietly.
“Daddy, can’t I stay? I’ll sleep in the waiting room, I—.” Aiden began.
“Frank would kill me if I let you do that. You need to go home, get rest… bring Frankie a book or two when you come in the morning. I’ll give you some money.” I said, touching Aiden’s cheek. “Everything will be fine. You can’t freak out.”
Eric’s POV
Linda wasn’t in there very long before Aiden and I went in. It was very awkward, watching Aiden obviously so distraught.
He just looked down at his father, a look on his face I had never before seen. I wanted to grasp his hand, but I knew better than to do that. He bit his lip, brushing Frank’s bangs out of his eyes.
I got a good look at Frank, watching Aiden. Frank was pale, his lips were chapped and his chest gently rose and fell in a rhythmic pattern. His dark hair stood out against the white sheets. There was a machine beeping, showing his heart rate.
“Let’s go.” Aiden said, clearing his throat.
I looked up at him. “You can stay longer if you want.”
“No… let’s go home.” He shook his head forcefully; the same finality in his voice that had been in Gerard’s earlier. I smirked to myself on the inside. Aiden and Gerard thought they were nothing alike… Aiden was turning into Gerard more every time he turned a corner.
I grasped Aiden’s hand. “It’s okay, honey… everything is okay.”
“I know. I just wanna go home now.” Aiden sighed and walked out.
I looked at Frank one last time before leaving with Aiden.
Gerard’s POV
Later That Night…
I sat with Frankie, wishing he would wake up but knowing he wouldn’t. The doctors said it would be mid day tomorrow. If that.
I sighed, stroking the palm of his hand. He was so fragile looking on this bed.
“Frankie… Goddamnit, why do you have to get sick? I mean… why can’t you get a cold like a normal person? You just go straight for the hospital…” I whispered.
I sat there, almost worried sick. I had known that doctor was wrong, why hadn’t I taken him somewhere else?
Made him stay down more?
He’d said he felt fine, but I should have made him stay in bed more.
The door opened and light filled the dark room. A young nurse came in. “Hello, Mr. Way.”
“Hi.” I said as she walked over to Frankie’s bed.
“If you would like a blanket and pillow, there are some in the closet.” She said, checking Frank’s monitors. I nodded, glancing at the closet as she looked over Frankie.
“Is he going to be okay?” I heard myself almost whimper. I looked at him, hooked up to a million machines. The only two I recognized was the Oxygen one and the one monitoring his heart beat, which beeped every few seconds loudly, always startling me from my thoughts.
“I’m sure he’ll be just fine in time.” She smiled at me. “His breathing is normal, heart rate normal. He’s just in a deep sleep.”
I nodded, looking at my small Frankie. I knew it wasn’t my fault, but I couldn’t seem to believe that.
The nurse left, closing the door quietly behind her. I could still make Frankie out from what little light was coming from the hallway. I took his clammy cold hand in mine again, watching his face and hoping for a response. I didn’t get one and sighed.
I hated hospitals because all you could do was sit. Sit and sit and sit. It was dreadful.
I turned on the television, turning it to some Lifetime Movie. I always made fun of Aiden and Frank for watching Lifetime, when I was sitting here doing it myself. It was about this woman dying of cancer.
A doctor came in and informed me that they were taking Frank for another cat scan.
“Uh… okay.” I nodded, looking worriedly at Frankie. “Why? Is… I mean… he had one…”
“It’s routine. We want to keep an eye on him and make sure he’s alright.” He assured me.
“He looks okay. Are you saying he can look okay and be… brain dead or something?” I asked, horror evident in my voice. I felt the color drain from my face at just the thought.
“Oh, no! I just want to make sure everything is normal. Frank won’t go brain dead.” The doctor said quickly, eyes widening in shock.
“…Oh.” I said, and nodded.
He pushed down something on the bed, and wheeled it from the room without another word.
I sat back against the chair, staring at the empty place where Frank’s bed had been moments before. The room seemed even colder and darker without Frankie’s presence. It was depressing as hell.
Thirty minutes later, thirty very long minutes later, Frank was wheeled back into the room by the same doctor.
“Is—?” I began.
“Everything is still normal.” The young man wheeling him back in cut me off. “He needs to be propped up, though, because he did vomit. We want to make sure he doesn’t choke on his vomit in his sleep.”
“O-Okay.” I nodded.
“He’s good to go, though. Doctors will be in every once in a while to check up on him. I’ll re-hook up these machines and will be out until morning.” I watched the man re-putting in IVs and plugging machines in, heard the various beeps and watched as Frank was put back on oxygen, seeing his mask over his mouth cloud over with his breath, clear, and cloud over once again. “Have a nice night, sir.”
I couldn’t really pay attention to the movie anymore. I stared back and fourth at the screen and Frankie. He looked like he was sleeping and honestly, he hadn’t had a good nights sleep in a long time. I scooted my chair towards him, grasping his hand in mine again. “What can I do, sugar? What… what do you need from me to help you stay healthy?” I asked his sleeping form.
His mouth gave a little twitch and I felt his hand squeezing mine softly.
I smiled and ran my fingers through his hair. “I’m gonna make sure you’re okay, babe… Don’t worry. I’m gonna take care of everything.”
I looked back at the screen. A new movie had started and it was about some girl with Cancer, which automatically made me think of ‘Cancer.’
That’s not exactly the song you want to listen to while in the hospital, holding your unconscious lovers hand. Any relief I felt from Frank squeezing my hand left in an instant and I went back to staring back at forth at Frank and the movie until it was about halfway done when I felt myself dozing off. I went to the closet, got out a pillow and blanket, and turned the TV off. I then sat in my hard chair and watched Frank sleeping until I too fell asleep…