‹ Prequel: The Pros and Cons of Loving
The Pros and Cons of Growing Up
Part Twenty-Eight
Three Hours Later…
Aiden’s POV
I was sitting alone with Dad, next to his bed in a hard plastic blue chair, looking at my shoes. I really needed new ones, but I never wanted to leave the house to get any. I kicked a piece of dirt on the floor.
“Aiden, baby, look at me.” Dad sighed.
I looked up at him. “What?”
Dad pushed himself to a sitting position and said, “I’m fine. You don’t have to act awkward and… not talk to me.”
Frank’s POV
“How can you say that after you just… had a seizure?” he said awkwardly, shuffling his feet and looking down. “You aren’t fine. You haven’t been for a while. And I feel as if it’s my fault.”
“Your fault?” I gasped, turning more to face him. “Aiden, sweetie… this is not your fault.”
“It is!” Aiden snapped. “I go off t-to college and you have to get m-me because I couldn’t handle it and I’m anorexic. I can’t even fucking eat. Let alone that, but I keep throwing all of my marriage problems onto you and Daddy’s wanting to start My Chem up and you feel guilty for staying with me. Bella’s not around anymore, so you’ve got no clue what your daughter is up to. You don’t talk to your friends anymore because you’re so busy worrying about me!”
“That… some of it is true, but it’s not why I’m sick.” I said slowly. “Yes, I’m worried about you, Eric, and Bella. Yeah, I’ll admit I feel guilty for saying I wouldn’t join My Chem. Honey… we all knew that something was going to happen. When you go into a coma for a year at 17… that’s murder on your brain because it hasn’t fully developed. Gerard knew as well as I did that something was going to happen. That’s why we’re here, fixing it, before it does happen.”
“If it weren’t for me you wouldn’t be stressed. You’d be on tour, having a life!”
“You think being on tour gets me away from stress?” I threw my head back, laughing. “There is nothing more stressful than performing in front of thousands of teenagers… some of them are insane, honey. Look… don’t you feel guilty about this. Not even for a second.”
“You just don’t want me to feel bad.” he sighed and bit his lip, looking down.
“I don’t, but this isn’t your fault. I want you to realize that, sweetie.” I said gently, not wanting Aiden to feel guilty for this. If anyone should it’s me for trying to kill myself when I was 17. That was why I was here now, not because of Aiden.
He just shrugged and picked at his finger nails, obviously still feeling guilty.
“But, Aiden… I want you to do me a favor.” I said after coughing a bit.
Hr looked up and into my eyes.
“I want you to… forget about Eric’s problems for now and focus on yours. I want you to eat right. I don’t want you to be my age and constantly seeing doctors because of mistakes you made as a teen.”
“It’s like you think I’m not trying.” he muttered in a distant and bitter sounding voice.
“Promise me you’ll start eating healthy. Promise me you’ll start going out... I don’t know, hang out with Asher. He doesn’t do drugs.”
He laughed to himself. I didn’t know why, but he and Asher hadn’t hung out in ages. Since Gerard and I went on tour, actually. That was a while back but he’d never told me of a fight and from what I knew, Eric still kept in touch with Asher.
“Did something happen between you two?” I asked, arching my eyebrow at Aiden and looking at him.
He looked down, let out a low breath, and shrugged. “It doesn’t even matter, Dad. Don’t worry abut it. Just get better, okay?” He met my gaze and forced a smile.
I sighed and nodded. “You too…”
We both fell into an uncomfortable silence…
A Few Hours Later…
Aiden’s POV
He won’t wake up.
He isn’t waking up.
I don’t know why this is happening. They said he was alright, so why did he have another seizure?
We’d just been sitting there. Daddy had left again to go talk to Grandma about something, and Dad just went still. He stared off into space, and then he started convulsing, sort of falling over.
I didn’t know what to do, I screamed, pushed the “nurse call” button, and rushed to Dad’s side.
“Dad?” I asked loudly, grasping his arm in an attempt to hold him still. My attempt went unnoticed, though. He continued to shake uncontrollably, and some spit gathered in the corners of his mouth.
It only took about a minute before a nurse and a doctor rushed in, followed soon after by Daddy. I stepped back, stumbling into the chair I had been sitting in.
I just stared, in shock, as Dad’s body slowly returned to normal. Then, he just drifted to sleep. The doctor and nurse gave me and Daddy a reassuring smile and then left from the room, like it was no big deal that my dad had just had a fucking seizure.
I was angry, shaking. I was hurt that they weren’t seeing to my dad. What was wrong with him? Why the fuck did this keep on happening? I sat back down in my chair, and didn’t move.
It was hard to breath and I stared at Dad, my eyes never leaving him. Daddy didn’t seem to perplexed either. It was almost as if he had expected this to happen, but I didn’t get it. Why had he had another seizure? Did that make the third or fourth one? It was bad to have one seizure, wasn’t it really bad to have more than one?
I took a deep breath, tears filling my eyes. This was serious, my dad having three seizures in three days. This wasn’t normal. He was sick, bad sick. He shouldn’t be going home tomorrow. Why are they still letting him go home?
“Dad, I’m so sorry.” I whispered hoarsely, a few of my tears falling. “I-I’m going to get better.”
He didn’t move or anything.
“Dad, please… w-wake up.” I began to cry now, my shoulders shaking. I was cold, but I didn’t care. All I could think about now was my dad and how he wasn’t waking up. I was hurting him, I needed him. Why wasn’t he waking up? Where had his paternal instinct gone? I was his damn kid, he was supposed to protect me from things like this! “Dad, please…” I sobbed. “Please, just wake up now. I promise I’ll eat, Dad. I’ll eat four meals a day and snacks if you just wake up. I’ll clean the entire house. You’ll never have to do a thing again i-if you just wake up and h-hug me. You always hated doing the dishes and the bathrooms… I’ll do them, Dad. Please, just wake up.”
I hated what I’d been reduced to, lying my body over my dad’s. I cried into his stomach desperately, balling some of his blankets in my hand for any kind of support.
I don’t know how long I laid there, but before I sat up my tears had completely subsided. I wearily sat up, shaking. I wiped my face off, sniffled, and bit my lip looking at the door. I saw Daddy standing in the doorway, looking sad.
“Daddy.” I whimpered, more tears filling my eyes.
He walked slowly towards me, like he wasn’t sure I was real. When he reached me he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer to him. I leaned onto his chest, several tears falling down my cheeks. “Is he okay?”
“Yes, honey. The doctors expected it… I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you would worry. I was hoping you’d be gone by chance, so he could sleep it off and be awake when you came. It didn’t work, did it?”
I sniffled and shook my head. “Is he still coming home tomorrow?”
“Yeah. They say the worst is over and if he has anything else it’ll be minor, but we can come if we need to.”
I nodded into his chest, taking a look at dad. He looked weak. I took several more deep breaths and stood up right. “I’m going to take a walk. I’ll be back soon.”
“Alright, babe.” Daddy hugged me quickly and then took my previous seat by my dad’s bedside.
I left the room as quickly as I could, pulling my large hoodie closet to me, hugging myself. I walked aimlessly through the halls of this place, not really caring about anything. Trying not to, at least.
“Watch it.” I heard someone yell.
“Anna, it is time to get back in your room.”
“GET OFF OF ME! I WON’T EAT! I WON’T!” It was a girl. She was pale, had stringy blonde hair, and she looked mad. Not angry mad, this girl looked insane.
“If you don’t eat you’ll never get to go home. Now let’s come in and eat the food. It’s just a bowl of grapes.”
“I WON’T!” she screeched, and took off running down the hall. As she got closer towards me I noticed how thin the girl was. It was terrifying, how I could see every bone in her body. Every vein showed too, from the paleness of her skin. She was knocking carts of random medical tools down as she ran behind her, keeping the nurse and three new men—security, I assumed— from getting to her quickly. Once she reached me she shoved me down, and turned the corner.
I scooted out of the men’s way and the nurse kneeled down by me. “I am so sorry, sir. Are you alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I said, quickly standing up. I was shaking. “That girl… w…. what does she have?”
“She’s got anorexia nervosa… she’s been in our facility for three years.” The woman explained to me in a quiet voice. I wasn’t sure if she was even allowed, then again I had no idea who this Anna girl was anyway. “She’s 17.”
I felt the breath leave my body and wanted to collapse.
She was one, maybe two, years younger than me. Yet she’d been like me since she was thirteen or fourteen? Had she gotten away? Why was she anorexic? And did she really think she was fat? That girl was nothing but skin and bones…
“I have to go now.” I said shakily, pushed past the woman, and headed to the nearest men’s bathroom. I immediately locked the bathroom door, went to the mirror, took my shirt off, and looked at myself. I saw the fat, but as I reached down I felt each of my ribs poking out.
I pulled at the fat I saw on my sides, but it didn’t pull. There was none there.
I looked in the mirror once more and saw, for a brief moment, myself looking like the girl. Not so skinny, but I had definitely lost weight. My face was skinny, I had dark circles under them. My face was pale, as well.
“I’m not going to end up like her.” I said, looking at myself in the mirror. “I’m not going to be in a hospital and I’m not going to be sick for three years, or even one.”
I looked around the bathroom, feeling stupid for talking to myself in a mirror. I pulled my shirt back on, buttoned it, and unlocked the door. When I opened it, I walked into the bright hallway and could hear a loud commotion. There were several men trying to hold that girl down, and she was still shrieking.
“Aiden, my God. I’ve been looking everywhere. Are you alright? Some girl just lashed out and stabbed one of the security guys and this nurse told me she’d pushed someone who looked like you down and oh My God.” Eric threw his arms around me, pulling me to him and squeezing me tightly while pressing his nose into my neck.
I rubbed his back. “I was in the bathroom, I’m sorry.” I whispered into his ear.
“I was so scared she’d stabbed you and someone hadn’t found you, but that’s stupid. It’s a hospital, right?” Eric forced a laugh and pulled away from me, looking at me. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” I brushed some hair out of my face and grasped my husband’s hand tightly. “I love you.”
“I love you.” He squeezed my hand and began walking back towards Dad’s room.