Slip Into This Tragedy
Let's Compare Scars, I'll Tell You Whose Is Worse
Chapter 2
Frank’s POV
I peeked into my parents, well I guess now my mom’s room on the way downstairs. She wasn’t there. I figured she was out drinking, again. It’s what she always does when she’s stressed, or upset, or bored… The doorbell shattered my thoughts and I ran quickly to the door. I opened it to see Gerard smiling hugely at me. His smiling was contagious as I grasped his hand and pulled him inside my house and upstairs to my room. We sat on my bed for a little while in silence. I looked into Gerard’s sweet and caring eyes as they took in my face. I told him on the phone earlier that my dad had left, but I hadn’t told him the reason why. Even though I found out months ago that my dad was having an affair, I still can’t believe it. That man was my role model for so long. I wanted to grow up and be just like him for the first 13 years of my life. I can’t believe someone would do what he did, but I guess it happens all the time.
“You okay Frankie?” Gerard asked, turning my head gently so my lips were just inches away from his. I looked up at the angelic person in front of me. Gerard has been my best friend for 4 years. I remember the first time I saw him. I was at Mikey’s house and on our way up to Mikey’s room, Gerard had left his room and walked into the hallway. I was too involved in the conversation Mikey and I were having to notice that someone else was in the hallway and I walked straight into Gerard.
Ever since that clumsy encounter, we have been best friends. It wasn’t until a year ago that I realized that the feelings I was feeling towards Gerard were more then friendship. At first I wanted to deny the fact that I was hopelessly in love with a guy, but 5 months ago I finally told him how I felt about him. I knew Gerard way gay too, he had gone out with Bert a year ago, but I never thought that Gerard would have any feelings towards me. Turns out I was wrong about that.
“Of course, Gee. I’m with you,” I smiled up at him, laughing at myself for the cheesy but true line I had just said. In response, he closed the small gap in between us and attacked me with his lips. I soon found myself underneath him, desperately trying to rid both of us of our bothersome clothes with keeping us attached at the lips. He helped take our shirts off, and then he reached for my zipper. Suddenly, he stopped and pulled our lips apart. He bit his lip hard, tears threatening to leak out. “Gee?” I asked, concerned now.
“I’m sorry Frank, I can’t,” He said. It looked like it was paining him as he grab our shirts off the floor and pulled his back on. I did the same, a billion thoughts running through my head. I’m not good enough for him, he thinks that because he’s 2 years older then me that I won’t be as good as Bert was. I spiraled quickly into thoughts of self-hatred. All my life I felt like I was never good enough for anyone, and this just proved my assumptions. We went downstairs and watched TV for a while, both of us deep in our own thoughts.
“Frank?” Gerard asked tentatively. He was biting lip again, and his eyes kept moving around the room. His eyes looked innocent, like the eyes of a young child. I looked at him, waiting for him to say something else. I was half expecting him to tell me that he didn’t want to be my boyfriend anymore.
“I, I’m sorry, about earlier. It’s just, I was in a bad situation with that before, and I’m not ready to do it again.” His eyes studied the carpet as I processed what he had just told me. So for once it seemed like I didn’t fuck things up this time. He just didn’t want to go there, with anyone. But wait, bad situation, with who? As far as I knew, the only guy he has been with before me was Bert. And I thought they just broke up because Bert wanted some other guy. I’ll have to ask Mikey if there was someone else, or if something else happened between Gerard and Bert then what he told me.
“It’s fine Gerard. I shouldn’t have tried to push you,” I replied, trying to hide the hurt of rejection, even if it wasn’t because of something I did.
“I got an idea!” Gerard exclaimed after a little while of us just sitting watching some shitty show on TV. “Nightmare Before Christmas!” he yelled as he jumped up and ran to the cabinet where the movie was. “This is Halloween, this is Halloween,” He sang happily as he put it in a pressed play. He wrapped his arms around me and I cuddled into his side, content. The morning and early afternoon passed as we sat watching movies, enjoy the warmth and comfort of each other. During the movies, I tried to only pay attention to the movies and Gerard sitting next to me, and not think about anything else, but I couldn’t turn my mind off. Thoughts of my dad leaving swirled around and around in my head, joined by questions about Gerard’s past. What happened to Gerard that I didn’t know all these years? I needed to talk to Mikey…
Frank’s POV
I peeked into my parents, well I guess now my mom’s room on the way downstairs. She wasn’t there. I figured she was out drinking, again. It’s what she always does when she’s stressed, or upset, or bored… The doorbell shattered my thoughts and I ran quickly to the door. I opened it to see Gerard smiling hugely at me. His smiling was contagious as I grasped his hand and pulled him inside my house and upstairs to my room. We sat on my bed for a little while in silence. I looked into Gerard’s sweet and caring eyes as they took in my face. I told him on the phone earlier that my dad had left, but I hadn’t told him the reason why. Even though I found out months ago that my dad was having an affair, I still can’t believe it. That man was my role model for so long. I wanted to grow up and be just like him for the first 13 years of my life. I can’t believe someone would do what he did, but I guess it happens all the time.
“You okay Frankie?” Gerard asked, turning my head gently so my lips were just inches away from his. I looked up at the angelic person in front of me. Gerard has been my best friend for 4 years. I remember the first time I saw him. I was at Mikey’s house and on our way up to Mikey’s room, Gerard had left his room and walked into the hallway. I was too involved in the conversation Mikey and I were having to notice that someone else was in the hallway and I walked straight into Gerard.
Ever since that clumsy encounter, we have been best friends. It wasn’t until a year ago that I realized that the feelings I was feeling towards Gerard were more then friendship. At first I wanted to deny the fact that I was hopelessly in love with a guy, but 5 months ago I finally told him how I felt about him. I knew Gerard way gay too, he had gone out with Bert a year ago, but I never thought that Gerard would have any feelings towards me. Turns out I was wrong about that.
“Of course, Gee. I’m with you,” I smiled up at him, laughing at myself for the cheesy but true line I had just said. In response, he closed the small gap in between us and attacked me with his lips. I soon found myself underneath him, desperately trying to rid both of us of our bothersome clothes with keeping us attached at the lips. He helped take our shirts off, and then he reached for my zipper. Suddenly, he stopped and pulled our lips apart. He bit his lip hard, tears threatening to leak out. “Gee?” I asked, concerned now.
“I’m sorry Frank, I can’t,” He said. It looked like it was paining him as he grab our shirts off the floor and pulled his back on. I did the same, a billion thoughts running through my head. I’m not good enough for him, he thinks that because he’s 2 years older then me that I won’t be as good as Bert was. I spiraled quickly into thoughts of self-hatred. All my life I felt like I was never good enough for anyone, and this just proved my assumptions. We went downstairs and watched TV for a while, both of us deep in our own thoughts.
“Frank?” Gerard asked tentatively. He was biting lip again, and his eyes kept moving around the room. His eyes looked innocent, like the eyes of a young child. I looked at him, waiting for him to say something else. I was half expecting him to tell me that he didn’t want to be my boyfriend anymore.
“I, I’m sorry, about earlier. It’s just, I was in a bad situation with that before, and I’m not ready to do it again.” His eyes studied the carpet as I processed what he had just told me. So for once it seemed like I didn’t fuck things up this time. He just didn’t want to go there, with anyone. But wait, bad situation, with who? As far as I knew, the only guy he has been with before me was Bert. And I thought they just broke up because Bert wanted some other guy. I’ll have to ask Mikey if there was someone else, or if something else happened between Gerard and Bert then what he told me.
“It’s fine Gerard. I shouldn’t have tried to push you,” I replied, trying to hide the hurt of rejection, even if it wasn’t because of something I did.
“I got an idea!” Gerard exclaimed after a little while of us just sitting watching some shitty show on TV. “Nightmare Before Christmas!” he yelled as he jumped up and ran to the cabinet where the movie was. “This is Halloween, this is Halloween,” He sang happily as he put it in a pressed play. He wrapped his arms around me and I cuddled into his side, content. The morning and early afternoon passed as we sat watching movies, enjoy the warmth and comfort of each other. During the movies, I tried to only pay attention to the movies and Gerard sitting next to me, and not think about anything else, but I couldn’t turn my mind off. Thoughts of my dad leaving swirled around and around in my head, joined by questions about Gerard’s past. What happened to Gerard that I didn’t know all these years? I needed to talk to Mikey…
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