Denial

Cold air coated the room, the faint smell of smoke lingering in it. Frank came home from another one. Another one of his trips, another one of his attempts on staying straight. Every once in a while, he’ll find a way to get laid, in every way possible.

Not that he had much of a problem getting that. He had the looks, the money, and the cock. Gerard didn’t agree with this, of course. But he had to go with it. It was part of the plan.

He stood up from his seat and walked to the couch where his friend was, eyes fighting to be open. Gerard sighed and shook his head. “Frank?”

“Hmm?” His eyes snapped wide open when he answered. His voice was high, and he turned to him with a smile. His golden eyes surrounded by his red addiction, they weren’t as beautiful as it was supposed to be. Gerard propped his hands on his knees and leaned closed to him. He sniffed and sneered.

Frank laughed, reached up to his face and slapped him. Gerard controlled his anger, he was good at that. After all the years he’s had with Frank, he had to be good at that. “You don’t look so pretty anymore, Frank.” Gerard glared and slapped him too. He grabbed the glass of tap water on the table and emptied it on the other boy.

He just laughed again, that cynical laugh. He brought his hand up and Gerard quickly grabbed hold on it and pulled him out of his misery. He jumped up, brought his arms around Gerard’s neck and said, “Wee!” Gerard could feel Frank’s heartbeat vibrate against his chest. After a beat or two, he finally enveloped Frank’s small body with his arms.

It was just the two of them, alone, bundled up in each other’s arms. Nobody was watching. The silence wasn’t as comforting as Gerard thought it would be, but Frank started humming. Gerard sighed, hugged Frank closer and kissed the nape of his neck before placing his forehead against it. He knew this wasn’t going to last very long, but he took his chances whenever he could.

“Frank?” he said, tears burning his eyes. He breathed in and out before letting go of Frank. The boy still had the same wide grin on his face; his eyes stared at Gerard’s dreamily. He pushed towards him, but Gerard’s hands stopped him on his shoulders, gripping them.

“Do you love me?” his voice was weak, just like how he felt.

Frank let his head drop. “Mm . . .” he hummed. Maybe you could’ve mistaken this action as thinking. But no. Frank Iero wasn’t thinking.

Slowly, he brought his head up again and then let it drop before Gerard could meet his eyes. He did it another time before he said, “Yep.”

Gerard’s heart broke.

“Go to sleep, Frank.” Then he left.