And Then We Will Destroy Our Bodies

Frank and Gerard sat on the brick wall of a flowerbed outside an ice cream parlor downtown. Gerard had picked Frank up at his house a little while ago, still early enough for Mrs. Iero not to have made it home from her new job yet, that meant Frank didn’t have much explaining to do, as a matter of fact he had only left a note…

Mom,
Out with friends, be home by 12:30.
Love you, Frank.

(Frank knew he didn’t really need to sign his name, considering he was her only child so no one else would leave her notes addressing her as mom, but it didn’t seem right not to.)

He decided that it was just nice enough for his mom not to be totally suspicious, but then the last few days he had mainly been avoiding her anyways. But that was mostly because Gerard was showing up in his dreams more frequently and he blushed furiously every time his mother mentioned him, which she had a habit of doing.

She knew she wasn’t the ‘best friend’ kind of mother, but she tried to be and that was starting to get embarrassing since she was his mom for crying out loud.

The other reason of avoidance being school, the less asked and said about it the better.

Mrs. Kent was still displeased with him, his assignment was late, and he’d been constantly elbowed in the halls and shoved against lockers for the past few days.

The jocks didn’t bother doing much more then that since Mr. Simmons had been ghosting the halls for the last week, compliments of Frank. His mother had enough to worry about, and the last think Frank needed right now was another lecture, not to mention one that turned into another ‘boy talk’. No way.

Frank had spent nearly an hour getting his outfit right...He finally settled on a thin black Charade! T-shirt where the word was being eaten by a scribbley looking dinosaur, and a pair of tight dark jeans with his red high tops that he wore whenever possible. And on his way out he grabbed his own hoodie this time, his favorite black one.

Gerard was running a good 20 minutes late and even though Frank insisted it was alright he said he still felt bad, so their first stop was ice cream…which was completely fine by Frank.

++

“So, how was the dinner party” Frank asked as he licked his skittle sprinkled vanilla ice cream cone Gerard had so graciously bought for him, it had taken Frank a little while to get over his full body awareness that Gerard was right next to him in tight, tight, black pants and a black hoodie with white bones printed on it. Personally the coolest thing Frank had ever seen.

Gerard pulled a face, holding his own chocolate cherry cone, “As well as expected,” he answered, then laughed.

“It sucked.” Gerard licked his melting cone before continuing, “Mikey got out of it somehow, made up some bogus story about his teacher assigning him a classmate to tutor. The last thing Mikey would ever in his life be caught doing.”

Frank swung his legs a little as he listened, Gerard’s voice was so melodic.

“Which left me there to suffer Father Clint by myself, who really creeps me out some, I always feel like he’s leering at me, and he’s always asking why he doesn’t see me in church.”

Gerard shrugged before concluding “I just can’t trust a guy who doesn’t have sex, I mean seriously, at least by one persuasion or the other. I could kill Mikey sometimes. I swear.”

Frank giggled “Oh I bet he’s got a great sex life, there’s all those gorgeous alter boys…So you’re catholic then?”

Gerard laughed at Frank’s first remark, then addressed the second one

“No, my parents are, I was raised Catholic but I’m not anymore. I don’t go to church anyways…Mikey still does though, and I’m convinced it’s only because of those ‘gorgeous alter boys’. He’s a heathen at heart. Even Catholic school can’t drag it from him.”

Frank ignored his ice cream for a moment and looked at Gerard in a new light

“Mikey goes to Saint Mary’s?!?”

The elitist Catholic prep school on the other side of downtown, the boys there were…well, elitist Catholic prep school boys, but emphasis on Catholic and elitist, not to mention expensive and you had to be brilliant to get in. Franks astonishment made Gerard smile.

“Yep, wears a little uniform and everything. He acts like he hates it but really I think it’s perfect for him. He’s a bad kid but somehow the teachers all love him, so he gets away with shit.”

“Sorry…I just, I can’t see Mikey as the prep school type.” Frank said a little surprised, “He seemed like a such a badass.”

Gerard laughed “He’s about as much of the prep school type as I am. But he’s pretty brilliant in all the right subjects so he got a scholarship in, kicked and screamed the whole time but once he got in he made it his own little ground zero.”

“He seriously cannot be your parents favorite…” Frank said in disbelief, absently looking at his sadly neglected ice cream.

“Oh yes, he is,” Gerard smiled, “He’s their perfect son, and… I’m their not so perfect son.” He shrugged

“What’s not perfect about you?” Frank asked before he had a second to run that question through his head to see how it sounded,

“I mean,” Frank stumbled over the words, “Mikey doesn’t seem perfect. AT ALL.”

“He’s not. At ALL.” Gerard agreed “But around my parents he is perfect, he goes out with girls and everything!”

Frank laughed at Gerard exaggerated tone. “So you don’t then?”

There was a pause,

“No.” Gerard looked a little confused, “I don’t. That much is obvious. I’m out with you right now, aren’t I?”

Frank’s heart sped up “Yeah, you are, aren’t you?”

“I very much so am.” Gerard said with a matter of fact smile.

“So you have a step dad?” Frank dared to ask once he had licked around his ice cream enough to secure it for another few minutes.

Gerard nodded “Yeah, my parents got divorced when I was little, and my mom re-married when Mikey was four.” He paused “He’s more like a dad then a step dad to Mikey, but he’s a step dad to me, in they way that he doesn’t try to be my dad, so it’s nice.”

Frank nodded, a fear in the back of his head suddenly seeming realistic that his mother would re-marry and he’d have a step-dad…the thought really only being scary when he thought about having Mr. Simmons for a step-dad… But wait, his parents weren’t even divorced…they just weren’t together right now. That was a reassuring thought to Frank.

“Do you ever see your dad?” Frank asked

“No.” Gerard answered simply, pushing his hair out of his face and looking over at Frank, “What about your family? Your parents I mean, since you said you’re an only child.”

Frank shrugged…he hadn’t been able to talk to anyone about his dad yet…this would be an ironic time to do so since they had gone out for ice cream and sat in this exact spot not many months before when Frank had run into all those shopping carts…

“You met my mom.” Frank stated, then paused, licking his ice cream before it dripped, Gerard seemed to be waiting so Frank continued

“And my dad isn’t around.” Frank finished, as if that was the end of the story, he looked at Gerard who seemed to feel sorry but Frank wasn’t sure, and suddenly he wanted to cry.

“That sucks, did you know him?” Gerard asked, curiosity but also sympathy in his voice

“He’s not dead.” Frank laughed a little, “He moved out last week actually. So yeah. I knew him, until he just packed up and left.”

“Oh.” Gerard said quietly, seeming to somehow understand, “You’ve had a rough week then, huh? I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I don’t care.” Frank said mostly to himself, then took a breath seeming to shake it off. “So, where are we going next?”

Gerard just smiled.

+
After putting a few coins in the parking meter Gerard and Frank set out down the sidewalk, the both them talking here and there, for a second Gerard thought about taking Frank’s hand. He wanted to, it was hard to get over Frank in those pants with his hair all sexy…

Of course Frank didn’t think it was a date…Gerard didn’t even know if it was a date, but if it was, he wasn’t exactly sure how to let Frank know that.

Still Frank was only 16, Mikey’s age for crying-out loud, but god was he cute…and not cute in the kid sort of way, cute as in he giggled and swung his legs when he was sitting on railing, cute as in he knew exactly how to dress, cute as in he didn’t know just how sexy he really was…he was cute and coy but not too immature. Just so fucking cute, and sometimes so cutely serious Gerard wanted to grab his face and tell him to stop thinking so much.
Can you calmly grab someone’s face while telling them to calm down as you calmly kiss them? Or was that too intense?...
Who knew, but god he was cute…

They stopped in front of a small comic book store that was just past an Art Gallery and a Painter’s supply store down a side street. It was called Death’s Hand Comic’s…

“C’mon,” Gerard motioned inside as he held open the door for Frank, who seemed a little hesitant.

Stepping into the store Gerard threw out his arms “This is where I work.” He said grandly.

Frank looked around, it was a little store, the front desk was empty and there were racks and racks of comics set around so you had to weave your way through them to get to the black bookshelves that lined the black and red walls.

“Nice,” Frank looked at Gerard “Who came up with the name?”

Gerard grinned “That wasn’t me.”

Frank followed Gerard over to the far wall where scripty skulls decorated the book case, Frank was stuck on a particularly large grim reaper drawn in gray near a faded tree down the side of the comic shelf…

“This one’s cool,” Gerard pulled out a comic with what, to Frank, looked like an exploding planet on the cover, even from just the short time Gerard had been in the shop Frank could tell he had a sort of reverence for the surroundings…

Frank nodded, “I actually like the annihilation series…”

“I love those!” Gerard exclaimed, “Have you read the pilot issue?”

“Where Dr. Von is a kid? No! I can’t find it anywhere!”

“Dude. It’s the greatest. C’mere.” Gerard led Frank over to the unattended front desk that was decorated with stickers and all sorts of sharpie drawings. Leaning over it to look around behind the counter Gerard sighed and smacked his hand down hard on the laminated plywood.

“Matthew Rubano!” there was a thump from under it and an “Ow!”

Frank took a step back as a head poked over the counter, it belonged to a kid of maybe 18 with thick dark hair and a nose ring.

“What the fuck...” He rubbed his eyes and kind of staggered to stand, plopping himself down on a stool behind the counter, Frank noticed that when sitting on the stool this boy’s feet didn’t touch the ground…

“Hi Matt,” Gerard said absently as he went around behind the counter, looking through a drawer and opening a box or two “You’re doing an excellent job of watching the store.”

Frank just watched as the kid on the stool mouthed the words back mockingly before yawning…

“No one ever comes in here…” the kid half whined, “I gotta catch up on my 9 hours!”

“You know, you wouldn’t be so tired if you weren’t up all fucking night with your crazy boyfriend.” Gerard voice came from under the counter as he shifted through what sounded like papers.

“Yeah, but I like fucking all night with my crazy boyfriend,” Matt yawned again “You just caught me during my nap time.”

Matt seemed to just now notice Frank standing by the counter.

“Yeah, you gotta rest up, you know.” Even from under the counter Frank could hear the sarcasm in Gerard’s voice.

Matt merely murmured in agreement because he was busy looking Frank over, from his tight dark pants to the slight eyeliner under his eyes…

“Yeah, I have to rest,” Matt spoke while looking at Frank, “because Adam is mind blowing in bed, hey this one time he-”

“I’ve heard this before.” Gerard interrupted from under the counter “don’t need to again.” Which stopped short the story telling for the time being. Matt only shrugging with a smile.

“Who’s this? ” He asked as Gerard popped back into view with a comic in hand and a triumphant “Found it!”

Gerard stood looking slightly disheveled “That’s Frank.” He answered simply as he went back around to the front of the desk, “and don’t even think about it, he’s waaay too tall for you.”

“Oh, har har.” Matt scoffed, still looking Frank over with a suggestive look in his dark eyes.

It was then that Gerard ushered Frank towards the door, one hand on the small of his back the other holding his comic…

“You have a good night Matt, give my regards to the missus, won’t you?” Gerard said on the way out the door.

“Fuck you!” Matt called after them both as the door jangled closed.

“That was Matt,” Gerard explained once they got out on the street, “He’s basically harmless but he’s got a big mouth. Some consider it sexual harassment, but really he’s just obnoxious.”

“Seems like it.” Frank agreed, half wondering if gay people were only friends with other gay people, if so, He felt a little behind on the times…Walking down the street Frank stuck his hands in the pockets of his hoodie.

It was starting to get dark now, and shop signs were lighting up as they walked, in the silence Gerard seemed to remember the comic he was holding

“Oh this is for you…” He held the comic out to Frank, on the cover was another something exploding but in front of it was a teenage boy looking geeky and cute in glasses and striking a ‘I will save the world!’ pose.

“It’s the pilot issue for the Annihilation Series…” Gerard explained.

Frank’s mouth had dropped open a little as Gerard was still holding the comic out to him…

“You can take it,” Gerard reassured with a laugh as Frank did so with a sheepish smile…

“Thank you, I couldn’t find this anywhere last year! Are you sure you don’t want to keep it?”

Gerard shook his head “No, I have my own at home, this one is for you.”

“That’s awesome, thanks so much.” Frank felt something like happiness radiate from him for the first time since his dad left, this whole situation was just too cool. Frank felt like he must look like that little MSN smilie that looks so cute and pleased…the one like this ^_^

Yes, that was him as he held onto the comic and continued to walk down the street in comfortable silence with Gerard, though it was Gerard who broke the silence with a question…

“So what does your pocket say?” Gerard asked curiously

Frank paused a second, “What?”

Gerard motioned to Frank’s hoodie and he suddenly knew that Gerard was asking about the patch over the left pocket of his jacket…

The hoodie was his birthday present from Jimmy last year…it was black and soft and plain expect for the patch Jimmy had sewn over the left pocket. He had written ”Have The Courage.” in small silver sharpie and had signed it with a simple JR…

“Oh…” Frank paused, thinking about how to explain it. “It’s a quote…sort of, by Nureyev, the dancer?”

Gerard looked completely surprised “You like Nureyev?!”

“You are in total amazement that I even know who he is, aren’t you?” Frank smiled a little and shook his head.

Gerard laughed a little embarrassed, “I’m sorry, it’s just, usually only theater people who know of him. Did I sounds shocked?”

“Only a little.” Frank laughed, “But he’s only the greatest gay icon there is. My best friend, Jimmy, was enamored with him when he was a kid, he wanted to be him and everything, I guess that’s how I got dragged into it…” Frank was a little surprised that Gerard was actually interested, since he was still listening.

“Anyway, for my birthday he gave me this hoodie and put our quote on the pocket. It says “Have The Courage” from part of what Nureyev said ’My problem is I don’t have the courage to be as wicked as I’d like’. Jimmy thought it was appropriate since he was moving away.”

“Out of Jersey?” Gerard asked and Frank nodded

“Waaay out of Jersey.” Frank laughed a little, “All the way to fucking Oklahoma.”

“Ouch, what’s all the way out there?” Gerard asked, too curious for his own good

“Non-homophobic fathers.” Frank answered simply

Gerard nodded “Well, I don’t think I can think of a more awesome birthday present.”

“Yeah, you are so wanting a Nureyev jacket now aren’t you??” Frank accused good naturedly as they reached the corner of 3rd.

“Ohmigod, I’d be, like, the envy of the whole theater class!” Gerard giggled a little making Frank giggle himself.

This wasn't turing out so bad...