The True Horror Began On Friday 13th

“I can’t do this Mikey,” I cried, pushing my face towards my knees, “I don’t want one,” I said, feeling him pat my back comfortingly. Gerard was still twittering to himself, he was laying flat out in the bath tub only his knees visible, “How did he work it out?”

“I dunno, I started getting these weird cards. Sayings from different famous people, he’d leave them on my pillow and I knew it was him. When I came back from a jog today, with that Nigel guy, he started spinning off this riddle, I worked it out instantly. He said to me about six months back, how much he wanted to start a family.”

”Gerard!” Mikey yelled, cursing silently as boiling hot coffee splattered onto his bare foot, “Gerard come on! Take the coffee,” he laughed as his brother ran down the hall looking like he had just rolled out of bed.

Gerard smiled softly at his brother before he padded over to the couch, settling himself down and tucking his legs up so he was pushed into the corner. Mikey sighed, knowing that forlorn look spread across his brother’s face like butter.

“What’s wrong? And don’t say nothing because I know that look,” Mikey sighed, taking a gulp of coffee and rolling his tongue in his mouth because it was too hot.

“I want a baby,” his brother sighed.

“Tough shit you’re a man. We don’t get pregnant,” Mikey chuckled cautiously, trying to lighten the mood, knowing that if he didn’t make a joke out of it, Gerard would get easily upset.

“Mm…” Gerard chuckled falsely, “I don’t think I’m made for that though. I don’t think it’s fair, females can just get pregnant and get full custody. I want some one I can take care of. Like a family.”

“He can’t take care of people,” I murmured angrily, “He just sets out to hurt them.”

When Mikey didn’t answer I looked up, suddenly feeling terrible when I saw Gerard standing there looking broken, his eyes filling with unwanted tears. I didn’t have the guts to take it back, it was true after all. I still felt like shit though, I felt like I’d shot him in the stomach. Mikey stood up, brushing down his knees and looking at the floor awkwardly.

“You really think that?” Gerard whispered, staring at the wall ahead of him. I had to nod, I wasn’t going to lie. I still felt horrible though, once I had nodded he nodded too, like he was confirming it.

“You say you going to take care of me and you end up hurting me more. Like now,” I spoke the truth, it needed to be said. He needed to shot, to be wounded and to be injured. To know what it felt like to be suddenly trampled.

“Oh,” Gerard whispered quietly, pursing his lips.

It was strange how quick the mood could change, how Gerard could go from being fuming and shoving us around, threatening people with knives and trying to do anything to gain power. To how I could suddenly be the one he was on the verge of apologising to.

“Gerard, I think we should leave Ren to herself for now. We’ll go and have a coffee now,” Mikey said, hooking his arm neatly around Gerard’s waist as I glared him down. Gerard took a few steps forward, opening his arms clumsily for a hug. I looked at the floor and pulled my tights up, seeing Gerard clench his fists with his arms still open, “Come on,” Mikey murmured, once again slinking his arm around Gerard’s hips.

Gerard shuffled out with Mikey and I heard him start to sob once they were in the kitchen. Mikey closed the door to give me some privacy, silently pleading with me to stay in the house. I glanced at my watch, realising that mum and dad would be back some time tonight, probably wanting to chat to me about how my goddamn week had gone.

I had no idea what I was supposed to tell them, the whole dilemma was this huge horrible mess. I noticed Gerard’s kitchen knife lying forgotten in the sink, I glared at it.

I could hear Gerard sobbing in the kitchen. I could remember when I first heard his laugh, how I thought it was goofy. I hadn’t heard him laugh in ages. I hated thinking about things like that, it was possibly the most clichéd, mushy, annoying thing to think of, but I still thought of it. It was barely there, that memory of him laughing. I could remember him when he was nice as well. When he’d act nervous if he had to kiss me, or if he just had to hold my hand. When he’d talk about Lara croft and X- men, not about sex and killing people.

Mikey loftily strode into the bathroom an hour later, closing the door with a slight click. He ran a hand over his gelled hair and took his glasses off, looking stressed and hating everything.

“Gerard won’t talk to me anymore. He’s in my room, crying. He said he’s not mad, he’s just upset with himself and he wants to go to sleep. That’s what he said to me. He seems to be getting that kick in the nuts. And that kick in the nuts seems to be you not liking him right now, I don’t think he can stand it. Which is a good thing, so leave him be.”

“Okay,” I muttered, “What’d else he say?”

“He said, and I quote. ‘All through this, I’ve just wanted to be able to protect, love and care for her. But she never needed it. So I made her need me.’”