Brian Haner Jr
Brian Haner Jr.
"Your going to tell me I'm crazy." Brian Haner Jr. said as he paced the legnth of his best friend's living room. "Maybe I am. Maybe I've been working too hard, or maybe its because I'm going to be 30 in four years. I odn't know why I have to do this, I just know that I have to."
He paused in the center of the living room and stared at his best friend, Matt, who sat quietly on his fluffy couch. "Your not saying anything," Brian told him. "Don't you want to talk me out of this?"
Matt gave an easy, familiar smile. "I've got one kid already, and another one on the way. Who am I to advise anyone against fatherhood? Who knows, you could find that you like it."
Brian nodded once, then collapsed into the leather chair opposite of Matt's couch. "Fatherhood," he muttered under his breath. "I am crazy. What do I know about being a father?"
"Your great with kids, if that helps. My kid adores you. Women seem to find you irresistable. I'll be that puppies and kittens follow you around too."
Brian didn't have to glance at his friend's face to know that Matt was kidding him. "This is just serious" he said "I'll have to make a decision."
"I know you do, and I'll give you whatever information you want, its just..." Matt shrugged. "I can't help it, Brian. For months you made fun of my boring married life, all the while being a carefree bachelor. You've gone through girlfriends like most guys go through a six pack of beer during Super Bowl weekend. You gave it a good race, but someone finally caught you."
"So what your saying is I'm due." Brian didn't like the sound of that but he wasn't sure his friend was wrong. He'd avoided paying for his life style for a long time. but in the next 24 hours, that was all going to change.
"I'm pointing out that its taken you a long time to come to this place where you'd have to make some difficult choices," Matt said. "Some guys have already gone through this by your age."
Brian leaned back in his chair. He know Matt was right-about alot of things. What his friend wasn't saying was that Brian had occasionally needed to fall on his ass before life circumstances or whatever got his attention. Well, he was paying attention now, the problem was what to do.
"I don't know how to be a good father," Brian said as the knot in his stomach went from the size of a baseball to that of a basketball. He felt as if he'd taken a tumble from the high-rises and while fall hadn't killed him, it had sure shaken him up.
"No one knows anything at the begining," Matt said. "You learn by doing"
"What if I mess him up? I don't want my son suffering because his old man couldn't get the hang of parenting."
He or she needs you to love them and be there. Everything else is negotiable."
Matt continued talking, but Brian wasn't listening. His brain had frozen at the sound of a single word. She. Dear God, the baby could be a girl! That would be worse. Based on his messed up personal life, the amount he knew about women wouldn't fill a teaspoon.
"She can't have a girl," Brian said interrupting Matt. "I can't have a daughter."
Matt chuckled. "Theres logic. I hate to remind you about his, Brian, but that decision was made a long time ago. About nine months to be exact, and that decision was made by you."
Brian swore under his breath. He glanced at the clock. Lily had called him two hours before to say she was on her way to the hospital. The mother of his unborn child had long since signed the papers giving the baby up for adoption. Lily expected him to the do the same. It was what they'd agreed to do. It was the smart thing to do. It was what nearly everyone had told him to do. But he hadn't been able to do it. All the logic in the world couldn't make Brian sign away a life that was part of him.
He pushed to his feet and headed for the door.
"Where are you going?" Matt asked
"To the hospital."
"What are you going to do?"
Brian gripped the door handle and glanced back at one of the best people hes ever known. His best friend has always been there for him. This time, Brian was on his own.
"Hell if I know," He said and slammed the door shut behind him.
He paused in the center of the living room and stared at his best friend, Matt, who sat quietly on his fluffy couch. "Your not saying anything," Brian told him. "Don't you want to talk me out of this?"
Matt gave an easy, familiar smile. "I've got one kid already, and another one on the way. Who am I to advise anyone against fatherhood? Who knows, you could find that you like it."
Brian nodded once, then collapsed into the leather chair opposite of Matt's couch. "Fatherhood," he muttered under his breath. "I am crazy. What do I know about being a father?"
"Your great with kids, if that helps. My kid adores you. Women seem to find you irresistable. I'll be that puppies and kittens follow you around too."
Brian didn't have to glance at his friend's face to know that Matt was kidding him. "This is just serious" he said "I'll have to make a decision."
"I know you do, and I'll give you whatever information you want, its just..." Matt shrugged. "I can't help it, Brian. For months you made fun of my boring married life, all the while being a carefree bachelor. You've gone through girlfriends like most guys go through a six pack of beer during Super Bowl weekend. You gave it a good race, but someone finally caught you."
"So what your saying is I'm due." Brian didn't like the sound of that but he wasn't sure his friend was wrong. He'd avoided paying for his life style for a long time. but in the next 24 hours, that was all going to change.
"I'm pointing out that its taken you a long time to come to this place where you'd have to make some difficult choices," Matt said. "Some guys have already gone through this by your age."
Brian leaned back in his chair. He know Matt was right-about alot of things. What his friend wasn't saying was that Brian had occasionally needed to fall on his ass before life circumstances or whatever got his attention. Well, he was paying attention now, the problem was what to do.
"I don't know how to be a good father," Brian said as the knot in his stomach went from the size of a baseball to that of a basketball. He felt as if he'd taken a tumble from the high-rises and while fall hadn't killed him, it had sure shaken him up.
"No one knows anything at the begining," Matt said. "You learn by doing"
"What if I mess him up? I don't want my son suffering because his old man couldn't get the hang of parenting."
He or she needs you to love them and be there. Everything else is negotiable."
Matt continued talking, but Brian wasn't listening. His brain had frozen at the sound of a single word. She. Dear God, the baby could be a girl! That would be worse. Based on his messed up personal life, the amount he knew about women wouldn't fill a teaspoon.
"She can't have a girl," Brian said interrupting Matt. "I can't have a daughter."
Matt chuckled. "Theres logic. I hate to remind you about his, Brian, but that decision was made a long time ago. About nine months to be exact, and that decision was made by you."
Brian swore under his breath. He glanced at the clock. Lily had called him two hours before to say she was on her way to the hospital. The mother of his unborn child had long since signed the papers giving the baby up for adoption. Lily expected him to the do the same. It was what they'd agreed to do. It was the smart thing to do. It was what nearly everyone had told him to do. But he hadn't been able to do it. All the logic in the world couldn't make Brian sign away a life that was part of him.
He pushed to his feet and headed for the door.
"Where are you going?" Matt asked
"To the hospital."
"What are you going to do?"
Brian gripped the door handle and glanced back at one of the best people hes ever known. His best friend has always been there for him. This time, Brian was on his own.
"Hell if I know," He said and slammed the door shut behind him.