Brian Haner Jr

Nicole watched the play of emotions across Brian's face and knew he was a goner. Deep inside, she felt the flicker of guilt. Maybe it had been wrong to let him hold his daughter. There was something special about holding a newborn. A friend of hers had once described it as one of life's few incredibly perfect moments. She'd allowed Brian to experience the magic, but what about the reality? Could he handle that?

Nicole told herself that if he hadn't been open to wanting his child, he wouldn't have felt anything while the baby was in his arms, but she wasn't sure she believed that. Was she doing the right thing? Could Brian Haner Jr handle having a baby in his life? Unfortunately, based on his stunned expression, he no longer had a choice in the matter.

He looked at Nicole, his eyes were dark with panic. "I want to keep her. Is that wrong?"

"She's your daughter, Brian. How can you wanting her be wrong?"

"I can give you about three dozen reasons, starting with the fact that I know nothing about babies. Then theres the issue of my long houred days."

"You'll make it work. Millions of single parents do everyday."

He didn't look convinced. "Maybe. So what happens now?"

"Now I notify the hospital that Baby Frase won't be given up for adoption and that her last name be changed to Baby Haner."

Brian smiled that devastating smile again. Fortunately for Nicole's equilibrium, it was focused on his daughter, not at her. "Did you hear that? Your're my little girl, and everyone is going to know it. You're Baby Haner."

"You might want to think about getting her a first name," Nicole said dryly. "She's going to find Baby Haner a little difficult when she gets to school."

He nodded. "You're right. So what happens after you tell the hospital?"

"You're going to have to talk to the adoption agency and tell them you've changed your mind. Legally, its not a problem. If you haven't signed the papers, they can't make you give up your daughter. However, you're still going to need a good lawyer. You'll have to make custody arrangements with Lily. I'm guessing that if she was willing to give the baby up for adoption she won't want visitation rights, but you'll have to check. There's also the issue of support." She frowned. "There might be more, but a good family lawyer can answer those questions better then I can."

"Too much to think about," he said quietly, still looking at his daughter. "I don't want anything from Lily. If she wants to walk away from her daughter, then that's fine with me. I don't need her money."

"You'll have to work that out with her. She's still in the hospital if you want to talk with her."

He glanced up. "She can have visitors?"

"Of course. It was giving birth, not brain surgery. She probably feels like she was run over by a truck, but she's healthy and in great shape. She'll recover quickly. Both she and the baby will be released tomorrow." She hesitated and wondered if Brian had any clue what he was getting into. "I can ask that your daughter be kept here until the afternoon. That should give you time to arrange things."

"What kind of things?"

Nicole drew in a deep breath. It was worse than she thought. "Brian, have you ever been around a newborn before?"

"No, like I said, I avoided my friend's kid until they were past the breakable stage."

"I see." She wasn't sure how to break the news to him. "Your life is abou to change in a big way. You'll need baby furnature, clothes, formula, diapers, not to mention a couple of good books on dealing with an infant. You're going to have to arrange for child care at home for atleast the first couple of weeks. While most day care places will take a newborn at six weeks, you don't want her exposed to alot of children right now. Young kids have requent colds, and that's not good news for an infant."

He rook a step back, then another. She saw his muscles tighten, although his hold on the baby stayed relaxed and supportive. "You're saying that I don't have a prayer of making this work."

She stared at him, at the too handsome face and the worry in his eyes. She could practically hear the thoughts racing through his mind at the speed of light.

"Not at all. I'm not trying to scare you, but I do want to point out that this is a little more complicated then making a home for a puppy.

He swore under his breath, then paced to the glass wall in the alcove of the nursery. Nicole ached for his pain and confusion. He had to be scared to death, but sensed he wasn't going to change his mind about his daughter. Despite her initial dislike of him, she had to respect that. A few years ago, she'd had to make the same choice and in the end, she'd given her daughter away. It had been the hardest thing she'd ever done.

She respected Brian for wanting to try. Unfortunately, he had several strikes against him. The most significant were a couple lack of knowledge and preperation, and his impossible work schedule. If he had an office job, it might not be too hard to schedule at least a couple of weeks off. But Brian was the lead guitarist of a band whom was expecting a new album to be finished in a few weeks. For reason's that had nothing to do with him, the project was already behind schedule. When was he supposed to find the time to take care of his daughter?

"I can help," she blurted out impulsively, then wondered where on earth that thought had come from.

He turned and looked at her. "What do you mean?"

"Just what I said." She glanced at her watch. "Meet me back here at six tonight. It's friday, so the stores are open late. I'll take you to a baby store, then help you set everything up for her. I'm on call this weekend, but assuming no one gives birth, I can even be around to give you pointers those first few terrifying hours when you bring her home."

His thick black hair fell across his forehead in a way designed to make a women desperate to push the lock back in place. Nicole was no exception. She found she had to clutch her hands together to keep from doing just that.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked.

She understood the real question. Why was she going out of her way to help a stranger-someone of whom she didn't much approve. Except by being willing to take his daughter, Brian had forced her to look at him in a new way.

"Because I think you'll be a great dad, and I want her to have that."

Relief settled over him, easing way his tension.

"Thanks, doc. I really appreciate it. I know that shes going to need a ton of stuff, but I don't have a clue where to start."

"Please call me Nicole. And as for the baby-figuring out what to do with her cant be harder then creating a new album."

He grinned. "Want to bed?"

"Why don't we just wait three weeks and you can tell me yourself."Hfaner J.