It's Not a Fashion Statement...It's a ***ing Death Wish!

I inhaled the sweet minty smell of his breath and wrapped my arms around his neck. His jacket was coming off, along with my hoodie. It was all happening within a matter of seconds. He lowered his lips to my neck as he flicked one of my straps off my shoulder. Top. Misfits. Frank. No. "No," I shouted, opening my door and springing from the car. I ran around the side of the building and leaned up against the back wall, lighting a cigarette. Slowly, I stopped shaking and the passion and lust I'd been feeling ebbed away.

"Bobbi?" I turned to Gerard. His jacket was back on and he held my hoodie, which he handed to me. I took it and zippered it up all the way to my chin and put the hood up.

I took another drag of my cigarette and shoved my other hand in my pocket. Gee was smoking too, but he made no move to lean up against the building with me. In fact, he wouldn't even look at me.

"You better get us back. It's getting late." I stole a glance at Gee. He looked so good in the moonlight. His black jeans hugged his muscled legs and thighs and his long-sleeved shirt and jacket hid the pale flesh that beckoned to me beneath. His face was white in the glow of the moon. I wanted to - No. Frank. He would look just as good. Suddenly, Gee faced me. "Look. I'm really sorry. I like you. A lot. But you're with Frank. I should've known better."

"I did it too, Gee. I'm just as much at fault."

"I still should've known better." I didn't respond. How was I going to tell Frank? Uh-oh. I needed to talk to Hazi, and I knew she'd kill me for kissing two guys in one day. I nodded and flicked my cig into the dewy grass and walked past Gee, not looking at him. I walked to the car and got in, turning the music down to a whisper.

Gee got into the passenger seat and I silently drove home. I got out of the car at the house and grabbed some of the bags in the back seat, stuffing my cigs, matches, and gum into my pants pocket. I wasn't ready at all for what I saw when I opened the front door. Hazi, beneath Dan, on the couch.I heard giggling from the kitchen and picked up the bags I'd dropped, carrying them to the kitchen, running past the make-outers on the couch. There was an image I'd love to get outta my head.

'You can't say a thing. You were just doing the same thing with Gee,' one part of my mind argued. 'Shut the fuck up,' the other half retorted. 'Mkay.' I laughed and carried the bags around the fridge and sat them on the table.

"Betcha 20 they have sex on the couch." I slapped Bob in the back of the head.

"They better not! We hafta sit there!"

"Bobbers! You're back!"

I laughed and returned Bob's bear hug. "At least someone missed me."

"Hey. Where's Gee?" I glanced behind me. The bags were sitting on the table, but Gee wasn't. Hmmm. I peeked into the living room and giggled when I saw Gee leaning on the back of the couch, looking down at Dan and Hazi, his hand fisted beneath his chin and a sly smile on his face.

Dan's hand disappeared into the folds of Hazi's shirt and I heard Mikey whisper," Where'd his hand-oh. Never mind. I got it." He smiled and flashed Dan a thumbs up. I laughed and shoved Mikey's hat down further onto his head.

Gee cleared his throat and asked sweetly, "Having fun?" Dan whipped his head up, knocking Gee in the bottom jaw. Everyone immediately began laughing as Gee fell backward.

"Shit," Gee yelled as he fell.

"Wha-," was Dan's response. He looked around and blushed when he saw people watching them. Frank picked that moment to roll over and rise to his hands and knees, his eyes level with Hazi's body. Dan's hand was still submerged, and Frank looked at where his arm stopped and Hazi's shirt begun and gave Dan a thumbs up, smiling. I laughed and shook my head as the two stood up and I walked over and sat on Frank's back, laughing when he immediately collapsed. I kissed the back of his head and got up. Hearing a groan from around the couch, I went to inspect. Gee lay on the floor, bleeding.

I sighed and pulled him up, leading him to the bathroom and sitting him on the edge of the bathtub. "Say 'ah' Gee," I said as I knelt before him. He did so, and I looked at his mouth. He had bitten his tongue and lip. Luckily, not all the way through, although hard enough to make both bleed. I dampened a towel and held it to Gee's lip. "Hold this," I instructed, reaching to fill a cup with anti-septic mouthwash that I still had from when I had my tongue pierced and lip pierced. "Here. Swish this around in your mouth, but DO NOT gargle or swallow," I said, handing him the cup. He took it, swished it, and almost immediately spit it out into the bathtub.

"That shit tastes like...shit!" I laughed at his bunny face.

"Yeah, but it'll keep your tongue from getting infected. Keep it," I said as he started to hand the mouthwash back. "Use it every morning and every night and every time you eat, whether it's a snack or not."

"Yes, ma'am," Gee said, saluting. I laughed and knelt in front of him again.

"Let me see." He did so and I touched his lips with my fingers, trying to get the bleeding to stop. I hastened a glance up at him. He was looking at me with the same eyes he had in the car.

He wouldn't keep his head still, so I cupped the sides of his face with both hands and touched his lip again with my thumbs, trying to decide whether to take him to the doctors or not. He looked down at my thumb and kissed it. "Gee," I cautioned. I couldn't say anymore, because he kissed me again. I felt myself giving in to his insisting lips and hands, but I shot up, fire blazing in my eyes. "No," I said softly. Gee blushed and looked down at his hands.

"I'm sorry."

"So am I Gee. What happened in the car shouldn't have. I'm weak when it comes to you and Frank. Weak because you two could have any God-forsaken woman in the whole damn world you want, yet you both picked me. I have to tell Frank. I know I do. But we're so happy, if there even is a we, and I don't wanna screw that up. I'll tell Frank. Just not right now."

"Not tell me what right now?"

I spun. Frank leaned up against the doorframe, his hair still a mess from sleeping on the floor.

"Ummmm...Err..." Hazi saved me.

"I think I need to have a chat with my sister. Excuse us, Frank. Gee." She pulled me into my room and pushed me onto the bed, closing the door behind us. Sitting on the bed, she looked at me and said, "Spill it." I sighed, taking off my beanie, and started into the story, beginning where Gee and I left and ending with our last kiss in the bathroom.

"Then Frank walked in and asked what I didn't wanna tell him and that's when you walked in." Hazi crossed her arms and shook her head.

"You slut."

"I know. Help! Please!" Hazi sighed.

"Okay. You know how long me and Dan've been together right? Seven fucking years! So listen to me, cuz I know how to make this you and Frank thing last. You gotta tell Frank. I mean, sure he'll be pissed at you, but give him some time. And make sure he knows you didn't want it to happen. And don't even try to blame me and Dan being together all this time because of 'good sex', cuz we haven't even gotten that far yet." We sat silently for a moment before she stood, saying, "I'll leave you to your thoughts."

She closed the door and I leaned back on my bed, sighing. I reached up and turned my stereo to one of my old faves, 'Mama I'm Coming Home', by Ozzy. It always cleared my head and helped me focus.

Tonight, though, it wasn't helping. I got out of bed and climbed out my window, walking to the park. It was a starlit night, close to the full moon; tomorrow or the night after would be it. I sat on a park bench, chain smoking three cigs and thinking before getting up and popping a piece of gum into my mouth. I slowly trudged home, Hazi's words ringing in my ears.

"And make sure he knows you didn't want it to happen."

I spit out my gum before climbing back in my window and throwing my cigs, matches, and gum under the bed. Make sure he knows I didn't want it to happen? Hah. I was having a hard time convincing myself.