I Never Wanted This Lifestyle for Her

---

Blake's---POV

"Frank won't even talk to me." JJ sighed as my head rested on her stomach.

One ear on her stomach, listening to her insides churn, and the other pointing out, listening to her.

"He's just upset. I probably would be too." I said as she gave me a funny look.
"Who's side are you on here?" She asked me as I sat up.
"What side is there to choose? There are no sides here. It's just simple mistakes." I explained as she crawled out of bed.
"You think I said something horrible, don't you?" She asked me as she shoved a hoodie on.
"Now your accusing me for no reason. I said that I would probably be upset too. Just to imagine my own son or daughter saying that to me." I tried to explain as she ignored me.
"I need to think." She raised her hand to me, to stop me from trying to explain anymore.

She left, with the door slamming behind her.
I sighed to an empty room and collapsed on our bed.
What the hell am I gonna do without her?

"This is shit." I said aloud, and heard my voice come back to me.

This was how it use to feel when I was eight or so.
Talking to myself, all alone, in my own head.
Left to myself, all over again.

Frank's---POV

"Arghhh." Came from my throat, as I paced our room.
"You gonna get gray hairs of you get all stressed out." Gerard said as he followed around, trying to rub my shoulders, but I was moving around too fast for him.
"I don't fucking care, my hair is already fucked from all the dye and haircuts." I threw my hands in the air and took a big step up on the bed, then walked off of it.

He was still following, despite the fact of where I was walking around.

"Your little body is gonna fucking explode then, with all that anger and what not building up inside of you." He tried to reason with me, to calm down, and to stop pacing.
"It's not even close to how flustered I have been before." I shook my head, and kept on pacing around.

I went to on the bed again but my foot got caught on nothing, and I fell face first into a bundle of pillows and blankets.

"Gotcha." He said as he laid on top of me and rubbed my shoulders.
"Asshole." I mumbled into the blankets.
"I need to go think." I said as I shimmied my way out from under him.

I pulled some sweats on over my boxers, and pulled on a hoodie, with some random shoes.
I left with the door slamming behind me, as I turned left into the lobby.
I opened the front door to an over casted day.
It was pretty windy as I noticed everyone's hair whipping in the wind, including my own.
I saw a familiar red hoodie someone was wearing as they sat on a curb.
The person pulled off their hood, to re-adjust their hair, and I noticed it was JJ.

"Hey." I kind of yelled out to get heard by, over the wind.

She waved a little as I sat down next to her,
I felt kind of sour about what she said, still, but I would hear her out if she wanted me to.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked her as she shrugged.
"I needed to think I suppose." She yelled back.

I smiled slightly as I also had to come out here and think.
I watched as she wiped at her eyes with her sleeve.

"I'm sorry. I know it's not good enough, but, I was just so mad." She said once the wind quieted down.
"I guess we all get mad sometimes." I shrugged as the wind howled again.
"I hate being a scared little girl." She murmured.
"I want to be normal, and I want to be with Blake, but I'm just not normal. We're not normal." She confessed as I nodded a little.

She was right about us not being normal.
We lived out of suitcases for long periods of time through our lives.
Gerard and I are married to each other.
JJ is adopted.
We've traveled the world at least twice in under two years.

"Without you guys, I would probably spin out of control within one day." She said as I laughed.
"I think he will be fine without you hun. It might be a long wait to see each other again, but you won't die. Neither will he." I told her as she kind of nodded.
"Do..Do you want to attend a regular school?" I asked her seriously as she shrugged.
"Maybe a home school. Or a charter school. I really want to be..Normalish. I know I'm never going to be quite normal, but I want to at least try to. Ya know?" She said as I agreed.

The band agreed a while ago, when this all started, that we didn't want to do this forever.
That we also wanted some normalcy.

"Okay then. I can see what we can do." I yelled over the wind, yet again.

I watched as she shivered and pulled the hoodie over her knees.
"Let's go back inside." I suggested as I held out my hand to her.

She took it and we went inside.
Should I be scared that she might go to a school with kids like herself?
I don't know, either, but I hope to god she will be okay.
I hope this won't be a disaster.

JJ's---POV

"You don't have to be an asshole about it." I confronted Blake as we stood in LAX.

Both of us in our sun glasses and hoodies.
He went off at me for not being able to go with him.
Then I told him that I honestly didn't want to be stuck in high school.
I wasn't ready for that all too yet.
Big mistake.

"Whatever JJ. I knew it would come down to this. Your just so full of yourself. Because you know that your parents are always gonna be there to pay for whatever you want." He finished as I felt pissed off rather than hurt.
"Stop being a fucking baby. Just because I can't be by your side to hold you hand, doesn't mean I never loved you. I thought you were better then this." I said as I stood my ground.

I'm not running away from this.
His flight was called over head as I still had at least an hour to wait for mine.
He adjusted his glasses and tried to hug me, but I pushed his arms away.

"Just leave." My voice wavered as I tried to hold my tears in.

He did just that, as I watched him walk away with his carry on bag.
Not once did he turn back.

---

As we sat on the plane, Gerard was searching for different home schools/charter schools in New Jersey.

"Look at this." He nudged me as I took out my right ear piece.

I looked at a school webpage that had a little girl, with an apple on her head.
I giggled, and noted that it was a charter school of advanced studies.
Two classes, that were an hour and a half long, with an hour lunch.
Three days a week.
Then you go home with a laptop they give you, and do all the work.
I could survive.

"Hm." I murmued as I really gave thought into it.
"Let's check it out." I agreed.

Why not give it a try?
It won't hurt.
I tried to get rid of any thoughts of my previous conversation with Blake.
Cause right now, he didn't matter.
I just want to go home and get this new year started off good.
At least better then what it has been.

"I want a Shih Tzu." I mumbled, then giggled afterwords as I closed my eyes.

My parents didn't say anything, but I knew they heard me.

Gerard's---POV

"A Shih Tzu?" Frank Giggled beside me, as he nuzzled into my shoulder.
"We could get her one for her birthday in two months." I reasoned as he kissed my cheek
"Hmhm." He laughed into my shoulder.
"You Shih Tzu." He said as he laughed some more.
"Just sleep, you crazy." I mumbled as I closed the laptop and put it in it's case.
"Take a nap for five hours." He mumbled back as his hand slithered into mine.

I rubbed my thumb over his as my eye lids got heavy.

---

"Up where they walk, up where they run, up where they stay all day in the sun." JJ sang along to Ariel the Little Mermaid as she was in the kitchen baking cookies.
"Wandering free, wish I could be, part of that world." Frank sang as I giggled at them.
"I saw that." JJ and Frank murmured at the same time as I stole a warm sugar cookie from a plate.

I laughed at how I was caught red handed, from them both.

"Fuck it." I said with a mouth full of cookie, and grabbed three of them off the plate and sat at the dining table.

JJ's cellphone rang, and she threw her oven mits to get it.
She sighed loudly and answered it.

"What do you want?" She asked as I knew it was Frank and my cue to leave.

We both left her as she sat at the table and we sat on the couch, turning off Ariel the Little Mermaid.

"Well isn't that just dandy." JJ said loudly as Frank grabbed my hand.
"No, because I don't give a shit." She mumbled as she came and sat down on the living room floor.
"Your the one who won't let it go, not me. You call me when you mature into someone I thought you were from the beginning." She ended the call and shook her head.
"Fuck him." She murmured as she turned off her phone and went back into the kitchen.
"That was weird." I mumbled as Frank silently agreed.
"I'm gonna talk to her." He suddenly said as he got up, without me trying to stop him.

Frank's---POV

"He's ignorant, and won't even listen. He isn't worth my time." She explained as I asked about him.
"He's mad at me for nothing dad. He just needs to learn how to suck it up and face the music." She said as she placed some cookies on a plate, for them to cool off.

I then understood how she looked at things now.
Yet, Blake didn't have a clue how to understand any of this.

"I'm so proud of you." I murmured as I grabbed her into a hug.

I felt silly for it, but I was her father, so I could do this whenever I wanted.

"This must have been so hard for you, and I'm sorry that you have to do this. I really am." I kind of broke down.
"Dad..It's alright." She said gently as she nuzzled her face into my shoulder.
"I might be young, but I understand. As much as I don't want to, I understand." She said as I nodded.

As the last batch of cookies dinged, she anounced that she was going to lay down, and assured Gerard and I that she would be alright.

"I'm just excited to go check this school out." She said in a giddy voice as she excused herself and went to her room.
"I don't if Blake and her are going to make it through this Gerard. I mean, they are just an undetermined couple." I told Gerard as JJ was now out of ear shot.
"Well, we've been there before." He pointed out as I nodded.

Not wanting to remember any of that.
My pained face didn't go unnoticed by Gerard, as a lot less was going unnoticed by him now a days.

"It's all behind us though. Without those moments, we wouldn't have made it this far. Those hard times made us stronger, and us closer. I'm glad that we both went through the worst of the worst things." He explained as he wrapped his arms around me.
"I would never change us ever. Because without any of that, we wouldn't be who we are today." He murmured against my ear as I was nearly brought to tears.

He grabbed a sugar cookie behind me and ate it over my shoulder as I giggled at him.