Bottom of the Blackest Hole

That one sentence that made me flinched and twitch.

“We’re making a guest list.” Was Sofia who said that. I stared blankly at her.

“I already made a list from Josh’s side of the family, now I need yours.” I stared nervously at the wall behind her. It’s not like I didn’t want to keep my abusive dad a secret…I just wanted to keep him a secret. That’s why I moved to New York in the first place; a fresh start.

“Bailey?” I suddenly found my slender hands interesting. Did you that a human has ten fingers? At least, most of them do, including me.

“Bailey!” I looked up sharply.

“Huh?”

“Guest list!” she reminded me desperately, “I need their names and addresses so I could send them the invitation and put on the seating chart!”

“Yeah,” I chuckled nervously, “About that…um…my mom left when I was born and well, my dad and I don’t really get along. He doesn’t exactly like me.” It wasn’t a lie. Just not the exact truth.

“Oh,” she breathed, “I’m sorry. Do you still want to invite him? You are getting married after all.”

“No!” I quickly yelled. I had a feeling that if he came, a big massacre of the wedding was going to happen.

“Just send an invitation to Courtney’s family and um…Jonathon!” I remembered.

“Jonathon?”

“Yeah, he’s my friend from work.”

“Alright, I’ll give him an extra invitation incase he wants to bring a date.” Sofia got up slowly then started towards the door. She looked at me straight in the eye.

I couldn’t help but cringe a little from her intense staring, “Are you sure you don’t want to invite your dad?”

“Definitely,” I pressed on.

“Alright then. I’ll see you tomorrow morning for the day of. See you!” she waved and then skidded happily to the elevator. Weddings made her happy, I guess.

My eyes danced around the empty apartment. Josh had apparently gone to a Bachelor Party, like I care. It was already ten and my eyes felt incredibly tired. I decided to call it a night and hit the hay.

--

“Well, today is the day,” Sofia said excitedly. I looked nervously at myself in the full length mirror.

“Hey, everything is going to be great, okay?” Courtney said reassuringly, patting my shoulder, “You look beautiful,” she added, smiling so wide.

“Are your parents here yet?” I asked her quietly. Sofia left to go check up finishing touches.

“I saw them taking the seats in the front.” I let out a huge sigh.

“How’d they take it when you said I was getting married?” I questioned, sitting down on the nearest chair, not being able to look at myself in the mirror any longer.

“They gave me a lecture. Then mom started saying how great it’s going to be and she’s right, Bay. It’s going to go great.”

Kat, the person that did my makeup, came in the room and shooed Courtney away so she could get my last touches of makeup.

I grimaced at myself in the mirror. I never thought that the image of me in white was going to be this soon. Don’t get me wrong, the dress is beautiful. So beautiful. I take back everything I said about Madame Humphrey. The dress was ivory white. It was strapless with beaded embroidery on the bodice. The bottom was like a waterfall cascading, at the end of the dress were more beaded decorations. The dress fit me snugly, showing my upper curves.

My hair was up in a bun, leaving a couple of strands to surround my face. My makeup was done lightly, naturally. An ivory veil net was placed prettily to go with my hair. It flowed all the way to my calves. A white well decorated pearl necklace was around my neck, it rest on my bare chest.

I looked kind of…beautiful. But I sure don’t feel beautiful.

Sofia came in the room to fix her makeup. The maids wore a strapless aqua blue dress. It was shorter than mine, theirs came at the end of their thighs. All their hair was down and curled at the tips.

Sofia came over and hugged me unexpectedly. “You’re going to do great,” she said softly. I meekly nodded and gave her a weak, shaky smile. She grabbed my hand and led me to the double doors. I just couldn’t believe that just on the other side is where everyone will watch as I seal my fate.

Next to us were Courtney, a girl about seventeen, David, and two other men I didn’t know.

David woof whistled, “You cleaned up pretty good Bay.”

“You better make our friend happy,” one of the men said cheekily. I let out a nervous laugh.

I was handed a blue bouquet and the girls received white ones. The organ started playing. The double doors opened and the unknown girl and the man that talked to me walked out, arms linked.

My breathings started coming out harshly.

“Oh god, I don’t think I could do this,” I whimpered.

Sofia grabbed my face, “You are going to do great,” she repeated sternly. Then she walked arms linked with David out.

I turned to Courtney, “I can’t do this!” I whispered loudly, my throats suddenly tightening, “What happens if I get the sickness while I walk down the aisle? What happens if I trip on my dress? What if I stutter with the ‘I do’s’? What if-”

A loud flesh slapping sound echoed around the room. I stare at Courtney in horror, “Y-you slapped me!”

She rolled her eyes, “Well, you weren’t going to stop anytime soon. I have to go out now so final words,” she took a deep breath, “You won’t get the sickness because I said so. You won't trip because you have these little kiddies to hold your dress at the end. And you definitely might stutter with the ‘I do’s’. And finally, I love you and I want you to be happy. I just feel that if you go through with this, it will be the best decision you have made in your life.” With that, she hugged me tightly and walked out with the other amused man, arms linked.

I looked down, bewildered. I turned to look at two children staring at me angelically. They were seven year old girls. I carefully bent down so I was eye level, “Um, now your two jobs will be to hold the end of the dress alright?” I told them; at least that’s how Sofia told me to tell them. They nodded their heads quickly and excitedly.

A new song on the organ came on and I knew it was my turn to walk down the aisle. I turned to face the door as I felt the crumbling of my dress being held by the girls. I held onto the flower bouquet tightly in front of me and took a deep breath as the double doors opened.

I kept my eyes staring straight. Looking only at the priest. I was not quite sure why. I guess if I looked at anybody, especially the guests, I might start panicking and sweating. I walked to the rhythm of the song and when the song ended I found myself handing the bouquet to Courtney and staring at Josh.

As the priest talked, I couldn’t help but gave Josh a once over. Even in a plain black suit and black bow tie, he still managed to look dazzling. His hair was neatly combed and a few strands fell over his intense orbs. If it weren’t the fact that I was going to marry him and that I’m carrying his baby, I could’ve swoon. I know, I’m weird.

For a minute, as I stare into his eyes, I forgot where I was and why I was here, until the vows came.

“Do you, Josh Owen Anderson, take Bailey Beth to be your lawfully wedded wife? And to cherish her and love her until death do you part?” I didn't even know his middle name.

“I do,” Josh said breezily, not even stuttering or hesitating.

“Do you, Bailey Beth, take Josh Owen Anderson to be your lawfully wedded husband? And to cherish him and love him until death do you part?”

I could feel as if the whole room had all their attention to me. Which…of course they would be.

I started looking around the room panicky. “I-I,” everybody still waited. About the whole room looked at me, wishing that I would just say it and get this over with.

“I do,” I said softly that only me had probably heard it but apparently the whole room did.

“I now wed you man and wife. You may kiss the bride,” I closed my eyes lightly as Josh leaned in. Instead his lips came up close to my ear.

“I know that you might make fun of me later but…you look beautiful,” then he kissed me softly on the cheek then on the lips, which I returned by encircling my arms around his neck making him surprised. I could hear everyone shouting and congratulating.

As we kissed there, with everyone cheering, I could still hear his soft voice close to my ears. And for the first time in my life, I felt beautiful.