Bottom of the Blackest Hole

“I wanna hold her now!”

“Hell no. You’ll drop her.”

“But that’s not fair! You got to hold her longer.”

“I think I deserve to hold little Josh slash Bailey since I am the godmother.”

“Oh please. Bailey didn’t even say that yet. Besides, I’m the kid’s uncle.”

“I’m her aunt.”

“If you three don’t shut up, I’ll hold her. You’re gonna wake them both up.”

Silence.

…

“Can I hold her now?”

“David!” Crashing noises.

“Oh great. Good job, you ape. Bailey’s waking up.”

I groggily fluttered my eyes open. Four faces met me, David, Sofia, Courtney, and Josh. They all flashed a smile at me. Then my eyes began to search frantically for her. I saw that she was asleep in Josh’s arms.

It was weird when I watched him. He stared at me too. It was like we had a moment where everyone else in the room just wasn’t there.

“Ahem,” David faked, “I think we should give them a couple of minutes alone.” Grumble of understandings vibrated through the air before it was just us three in the room.

Josh pulled out a chair and sat down, trying his hardest not to shake the tiny person in his arm. A smile broke free from his lips. I weakly returned it.

“How you feeling?” One of his free hands went up to sweep some hair from my face. I closed my eyes at his touch.

“Like crap,” I muttered, “and wonderful at the same time.” I added once I saw her in his arms.

“Here.” He began handing me her but I quickly shook my head.

“I’ll drop her. I’m in no shape to hold a baby.”

He rolled his eyes. “It’s not a baby. It’s yours. I know you want to hold her anyway.” When I didn’t say anything, he gently set her in my arms, “There.”

He began stretching his arms and yawned. “Well, decided a name yet?” He set his chin on the bed and looked at me expectantly.

“Um…” I furrowed my eyebrows in concentration. “She sorta looks like a Leila.”

“Leila,” he repeated, “Leila, I like it.”

Then Leila began to slowly open her eyes. They were in slits for a couple of seconds but soon they were round and staring curiously at us.

Leila was absolutely the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. I might just be saying that because she’s mine but she really was. Already, she had curly dark brown locks. Josh was right; her eyes were like mine, color wise.

She turned her head a little to the right to look at Josh. He smiled down at her and held out his finger to touch her. Except she was faster and soon, his finger was locked in hers and she pulled it to her mouth.

I laughed lightly. “She’s perfect.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled in agreement. A couple of seconds later, Sofia, Courtney, and David, strode in the room.

Sofia was making baby faces at Leila while still in Josh’s arms. “Did you guys decided on her name yet?” she asked just as Leila caught her fingers. Sofia grinned down at her niece.

“Leila,” I announced, “Leila Anderson.” All three of them gave me approving glances. I couldn’t help but let a smug smile overcome my face.

--

“Josh?! Oh my gosh!”

And that, my friend, was Adrianna. She hugged Josh tightly before handing a basket full of baby goodies to him. I’ll be sure to burn the whole stack when we get home.

“Wow,” she cleared her throat uncomfortably, albeit the strain of it, “She looks…nothing like you to be the exact truth.” I wanted to slap the girl. What did she think she was doing?

“I mean, I could totally see Bailey in the kid, er, Leila, but none of you.” She tilted her head in a perplexed expression. I rolled my eyes.

Josh shrugged. “I kinda see me in her.”

Adrianna gave me a disgusted look. “Are you sure this baby’s yours?” she muttered lowly to Josh. I narrowed my eyes at her. He gave her a surprised look.

“Of course the baby’s his! This is exactly what Josh looked like when he was a baby,” Sofia butted in. Adrianna gave her a sharp look.

“And who are you?” she hissed, eying her up and down.

“I’m his sister, stupid,” Sofia said venomously. Josh, who remained completely oblivious by this, was transfixed by every move Leila made.

Adriana left later once she realized that Josh didn’t really care if she was here.

“I don’t think I like that girl very much,” Sofia said after she left.

“Join the club,” I murmured. Instead of nodding like I thought she would, she gave me a smirk.

“You’re so jealous!” she said quietly.

I felt my face burning strangely, “No I’m not…”

“Oh my god, you are! Aw, you’re blushing!” she pointed towards my cheeks but I slapped her hands away.

“Stop it. Where are Courtney and David?” I asked, trying to change the subject. It worked.

She shrugged. “Who knows?”

I sat up straighter when I heard the door open. Mrs and Mr Anderson walked in the room with bright grins. They fell in love right away with Leila.

“She looks like you, honey!” Natasha, Mrs. Anderson, exclaimed to Josh. He gave his mother a proud grin.

“You kids need to give me a grandson now,” Mr. Anderson, Jacob, said, “Dang, I’m kinda old. Grandpa…” he laughed lightly.

I caught Josh’s eyes and it was as if he looked at me hopefully. Another baby? That would mean that Josh and I would have to be more…involved. Just the thought of that freaked and thrilled me at the same time. What are we to each other anyway? Does he like me? Won’t our marriage fail or turn out unhappy since we didn’t love each other? Can we fall for each other? And the big question was: how do I feel about all this?