Second Chances For Failed Romances

I could smell him from a mile away. Saying my apartment now smelled like complete shit is an understatement. Shit, that’s one of the main reasons I’ve come to hate pets. Maybe the brunette version of me liked a dog or two, but the new platonic blonde hates them all; all animals, dogs, cats, birds, snakes, frogs, men, and sometimes even fish.

As soon as I opened the door, the smell struck me. As I said, I could’ve smelt it a mile away.

“What the fuck did you eat, Oreo?” I walked up to the caged black and white cat. Another thing, I’ve grown the knack to name everything. Even if I’m going to get rid of it in 24 hours or less, it’s my first instinct. See it, name it.

The cat looked at me and let go of a pathetic ‘meow’, possibly trying to tell me he was hungry since now all of whatever was in his stomach happened to be all over the cage – if you know what I mean.

“I don’t know if I want to feed you, you shat yourself,” I shrugged at it and walked up to the bathroom in search for some Febreeze, “when Elyse gets here, she’ll clean your cage, and meanwhile, I’ll have to deal with the odor.” I finished as I sprayed the artificial scent all over the living room. I walked to the couch and placed the Febreeze in the table before me, knowing that as soon as the scent that had just been sprayed in the air wore off I’d need it again, sat on the couch and turned on the TV. “Don’t worry Oreo,” I spoke to the pathetic feline, “Elyse gets here in like 20 minutes, we wont have to deal with each other for too long.”

And, as if set in stone, Elyse walked through the apartment door in twenty minutes.

“I was about to throw it out the window,” I spoke to her as she kneeled before the cat, small talking it.

“Why would you do that? He’s so gorgeous!” she smiled at it and stood up, flashing me a smile.

“He smells like shit, I’ve had to spray Febreeze like ten times,” I gave her a killer look.

“You exaggerate,” she plopped on the couch next to me. “I’ll bathe it tonight, and tomorrow morning we can take him to the shelter- you don’t work tomorrow morning right?”

“Nope, I don’t,” I smiled happily, “it’s a Saturday.” Sure, I was in L.A. trying to make my dreams come true, but making it in Hollywood isn’t as easy as it seemed a couple of years ago. In fact, it takes more hard work, effort, and time than to be any sort of engineer – or whatever you might consider a real job.

“Great, so you can go down to the pet shelter with me!” she looked happy and giddy. Under all her tree-huggingness and animal-lovingness and all that other annoying love shit; I loved her, and she’s possibly the best – and only – friend I have here in L.A.

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“Why did I agree to come here?” I asked as we walked through the aisles in the animal shelter.

“Why not?” she peeked inside one of the cages to find some lonesome, broken, and sad dog. “Aww, we should really adopt one day, look, they need a family,” she had moved on to a cage that held a handful of kitties.

“Sure they do,” I shrugged ignoring her. “It smells like shit here. This is how our apartment would smell in case we do get one.”

“So, you’re thinking about it?” she shot up at me with a bright smile.

“No way,” I raised my eyebrows, “that’s not what I meant.”

“It so is,” she smiled at me knowingly and then peeked to another cage, “you want a pet.”

I took a deep breath, “no. Either way, you already turned in the little lion, let’s go,” I began to walk out of the place, hearing her catch up behind me.

“You really need to lighten up Audrey,” she nudged me, “I think you need a boyfriend. Or a pet. Or both. Or a boyfriend as a pet-”

“I don’t,” I stopped and faced her, making my words clear, “I’m perfectly fine how I am. I am independent, I don’t need anyone.” I reassured her and turned on my heel, heading to the car.

She sighed and followed me.

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“You’re just a phone call away,” I sang along the iHome as I prepared today’s lunch, cordon bleu, “and everyday you seem further away.” Elyse had gone out, to buy some books for her college class, so I had the whole apartment to myself for now, giving myself a little concert and a small dance session around the kitchen.

“I do my best, throw the pride aside and apologize, cut myself down a notch. And I know I said some things that hurt through ninety seven missed calls, I’ll finally get over you,” I stopped dead on my tracks to find Elyse and an unwanted guest at the door.

Elyse shrugged, it’s not like this had been the first time she’s caught me in the middle of my act, yet he stood still, rigid, and probably confused.

“What is he doing here?” I asked Elyse, as if he wasn’t present or wasn’t able to hear me.

“I found him downstairs, he says he’s an old friend of yours,” she shrugged and smiled.

I rolled my eyes and turned my attention to him, “what do you think you are doing here Barakat?”