Sequel: Love's Requiem ›
Everything I'm Not
Death Anxiety
I must have fell asleep on Alex because the next thing I new it I smelt Burberry cologne.
“Jesse?” I said shooting up. I looked around and realized I was in Jesse’s room. Well at least he kept to his word.
I stood up stretched made sure my make up wasn’t smeared and fixed my hair and then made my way to the raging party going on outside of that one quite room.
“She’s alive.” I heard Alex yell from Jesse’s living room.
“What time is it?” I yawned.
“130.” He told me. “Come on Bella let’s get you a drink.” He smiled putting an arm around my shoulder.
“Bitch!” I heard a voice all too familiar.
“Palmeri!” I yelled hugging Frankie.
“I missed you.” He laughed, “Drink up.” He said handing me a beer.
“Shots for Bella!” Jesse yelled.
“Shots for me? Why?” I asked talking a cup from him as Alex did the same.
“Cause you’re home!”
“Oh” I nodded and took the shot.
By four am, I was way past my limit and way drunk.
“Sean gimmes a fucking lift home!” I said hitting Jesse’s friend.
“Alright, what about your little friends?”
“They’re going back to Manhattan, only the tall ones coming with me.” I told him.
“Well how are they going to get back if they’re not from here?” He asked me.
“You caught me! I didn’t think that far!”
“Bella how much have you had to drink?” He asked me.
“Too fucking much, which is why I need a ride home cause I don’t want to roam the subway all night.”
“Alright, I’m sure Ben will take them to their hotel get your friend.” He told me.
“Friend!” I shouted looking for Alex who was talking to Jesse and having another shot.
“What?” Alex said with a sloppy grin, I think he was as drunk as me.
“We’re going home.” I said grabbing his hand. “Jesse I love you.” I said hugging him.
Everything that happened next is kind of a blur.
The next morning I woke up feeling sick to my stomach, freezing and having a splitting headache. That sickness soon
turned in to horror when I felt a body next to mine, and realized I was freezing because I was naked.
“No no no, this didn’t happen.” I said trying to see whom the body next to me belonged to.
“Bella.” I heard a cracked voice next to me say.
“Alex?” I said pulling the covers over me.
“Oh shit.” He said as reality hit him as well.
“Did we?”
“I think so.” He said turning to look at me.
“I’m sorry.” I said to him looking down and kind of wanting to cry.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” He smiled. “From what I remember it was great.” He smiled.
“You’re not regretting this like I am?”
“No.” He said and gave me a kiss.
That one kiss, led to a repeat of last night’s actions, he certainly wasn’t lying when he said it was good.
“Jesse?” I said shooting up. I looked around and realized I was in Jesse’s room. Well at least he kept to his word.
I stood up stretched made sure my make up wasn’t smeared and fixed my hair and then made my way to the raging party going on outside of that one quite room.
“She’s alive.” I heard Alex yell from Jesse’s living room.
“What time is it?” I yawned.
“130.” He told me. “Come on Bella let’s get you a drink.” He smiled putting an arm around my shoulder.
“Bitch!” I heard a voice all too familiar.
“Palmeri!” I yelled hugging Frankie.
“I missed you.” He laughed, “Drink up.” He said handing me a beer.
“Shots for Bella!” Jesse yelled.
“Shots for me? Why?” I asked talking a cup from him as Alex did the same.
“Cause you’re home!”
“Oh” I nodded and took the shot.
By four am, I was way past my limit and way drunk.
“Sean gimmes a fucking lift home!” I said hitting Jesse’s friend.
“Alright, what about your little friends?”
“They’re going back to Manhattan, only the tall ones coming with me.” I told him.
“Well how are they going to get back if they’re not from here?” He asked me.
“You caught me! I didn’t think that far!”
“Bella how much have you had to drink?” He asked me.
“Too fucking much, which is why I need a ride home cause I don’t want to roam the subway all night.”
“Alright, I’m sure Ben will take them to their hotel get your friend.” He told me.
“Friend!” I shouted looking for Alex who was talking to Jesse and having another shot.
“What?” Alex said with a sloppy grin, I think he was as drunk as me.
“We’re going home.” I said grabbing his hand. “Jesse I love you.” I said hugging him.
Everything that happened next is kind of a blur.
The next morning I woke up feeling sick to my stomach, freezing and having a splitting headache. That sickness soon
turned in to horror when I felt a body next to mine, and realized I was freezing because I was naked.
“No no no, this didn’t happen.” I said trying to see whom the body next to me belonged to.
“Bella.” I heard a cracked voice next to me say.
“Alex?” I said pulling the covers over me.
“Oh shit.” He said as reality hit him as well.
“Did we?”
“I think so.” He said turning to look at me.
“I’m sorry.” I said to him looking down and kind of wanting to cry.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” He smiled. “From what I remember it was great.” He smiled.
“You’re not regretting this like I am?”
“No.” He said and gave me a kiss.
That one kiss, led to a repeat of last night’s actions, he certainly wasn’t lying when he said it was good.