Intensity

It had been weeks since I had even talked to her. Which was nothing new. When it came to school there was one thing that I had to do. And that was not having any relations with Emmbla. But just because I wouldn’t be caught dead being near her, didn’t mean that I couldn’t watch her, make sure she was okay.

Ever since that night, I haven’t been able to get her body, her kisses, and her scent out of my head. It was like she was branded into my brain, with no chance of ever disappearing. It was making moving on difficult, even though I really didn’t want too. I wanted to know what it was like our bodies sliding against one another. More so now than ever before. I won’t lie, the thought, the urge was there from the very first moment that I laid eyes on her. Even the first time she opened her mouth. She was never unattractive to me.

But damnit, she sure made it difficult for me to go back to my old life. Back to the girls I used to fuck. I mean, now I almost couldn’t even get a boner without thinking of her, and I swear girls were starting to notice. Not many asked, but a few did. I never said anything in response to them, but girls tend to come up with their own answers. That reason alone was why I was watching Clare and her posse harass Emmbla across the cafeteria room.

I shook my head. Clare in a mini skirt that was most likely against school regulations but was still allowed to wear it for the male administrations sake. She was slamming her hand on the table trying to capture Emmbla’s attention. But she was staring out the window. Clare’s idle threats meaning nothing, Emmbla didn’t even look at her when she scraped her chair against the linoleum, stood up and left. I narrowed my eyes; she was walking quicker than usual. Her usual stoic face, held a hidden secret. As if she saw someone that shouldn’t have been there. I watched her leave the room, and turned my attention toward the window that she had been looking out.

Clare had already taken over the table that Emmbla once occupied. Thinking it as a victory, she was laughing with her friends. I held back the urge to roll my eyes. I continued to watch the window until the bell rang signaling it was time for lunch to be over. Slowly I stood up, my gaze never leaving the window, when suddenly something flashed across it. Slowly, I made my way towards Clare and her friends. Knowing already what they were thinking, I pushed them out of my way as I headed toward the door that students were entering through. It was the entrance to the school yard where most of the kids liked to go out and eat lunch whenever it wasn’t raining, snowing or downright cold.

I opened the door and stepped outside. The air was crisp, as it should be for the beginning of October. I scanned the field. I could have sworn that I saw him out here. Suddenly I caught a scent, my eyes narrowed as I recognized it.

I should have killed him when I had the chance.