Wreckage From the Past Haunts Me; Shakes Me to the Bone

"How?" I asked sitting next to him.

"When I was 25 I had a girlfriend named Erica Fox. We broke up because of my drug use. I found out she was pregnant three months later. We both knew that without a doubt that she was mine. Erica didn't sleep with anyone else. When she gave birth it was the greatest thing ever. We were still friends so I was able to see both of them when ever I wanted. Last year Erica was involved in a hit and run and now she can't move. She paralyzed from the neck down. So her mom called me up and asked me to take Victoria. Because I was still so messed up I had the one person I could trust. My sister. She was clean. She took care of me, but I guess now I can't even count on her."

"I'm sorry." I said. It was the first thing that came to mind.

"God I'm such a horrible father!" He said. Tears were visible in his eyes and were starting to fall down his cheeks. I wiped away the tears and wrapped my arms around him. He leaned into me and wrapped his arms around my middle and set his head in the crook of my neck making me smile slightly.

"No you're not. You did what you thought was right. You had someone raise her because you know that you weren't stable enough. You didn't know that your sister was on anything. How much were you giving them a month?"

"Somewhere around $1,000." He said sitting up.

"Jimmy that's a lot."

"I know, but she needed it. I paid half of her rent and still had $400 left over for food and bills." He said as he slammed his head back against the wall. I grabbed his head in my hands to make sure he couldn't do it again.

"You're a good dad. Look at how much you gave Elizabeth for taking care of Vicki. Look at how well you did with Aidyn when I was in the hospital. Only a real dad could have taken care of him that well. It takes a boy to make a baby, but it takes a man to be a father. Come here." I said as I stood up. I grabbed his hand and pulled him up as well. I walked over to my room and opened the door. Victoria was curled up in my bed as the credits of Nightmare Before Christmas rolled across the screen. Her eye's were close and her breathing was even signaling she was asleep.

"Look at her. She's beautiful. This is your chance to prove that you can be the dad you want to be. Your chance to fix everything." He nodded and went to pick her up.

"Just leave her for tonight. You can sleep in her with her. Did Elizabeth drop any clothes off for her?"

"Yeah a few things. Not that much though. I need to take her shopping." He said pointing to the bag that was on the floor next to my dresser.

"Well me and Tegan need to go shopping anyway so why don't take her? Plus I can get her a hair cut, some toys, and get her some stuff for her room."

"You would really do that?" He asked quietly.

"Of course Jimmy." I said smiling, "Now get that cute ass of your in my bed and sleep. I'll be in your room." I went to walk out, but felt an arm pulling me back.

"Can you at least stay in here while I shower and change? I'm not going to make her sleep in the same bed as me when I have nothing but boxers on."

"Ugh fine since your pulling my leg here." I fake sighed. He laughed quietly as he walked out of the room. He came back with his clothes and walked into my bathroom ignoring the look I was giving him. That's my bathroom! I shook my head and decided it would be good time to get dressed for the night. I pulled a grey Nightmare Before Christmas thermal and a pair of black boy-shorts. I put my hair up in a ponytail to get it out of my face. I walked over to the bag of clothes Elizabeth left and set it on the end of my bed. I wanted to make sure her clothes were washed and that they were ok for her to wear. I opened the bag to smell the sick smell of mold. I knew I was going to have to wash them, but it wasn't a problem.

When I looked through the clothes I noticed all she had was dresses. Well around here you can't always wear dresses so I want to make sure she has some pants and shorts, but I also want to make sure she'll actually wear the clothes. Jimmy was right; She didn't have that many clothes at all. All she had was five dresses and they were more of the more of the playing kind. Like the Disney princess ones. I sighed and placed all of her clothes into a hamper and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Come in." I head faintly.

"Um...Hey I went through that bag and got the clothes out to wash. Do you want me to wash your clothes too?" I asked.

"Please. I'm running out of pants here." He said laughing. I laughed and grabbed his clothes before walking back out of the room to see Victoria sitting up.

"Trista?" She asked tiredly.

"Yes baby?" I asked. I have a habit of calling people baby.

"Where's daddy?" she asked. Her little blue eyes were starting to water and her bottom lip started to tremble.

"Oh Hun...he's jut in the shower. Listen..." I said as I paused for a second so she could hear the shower running, "He's not going to leave you."

"Ok. Stuff animal?" She asked.

"Would you like a stuffed animal to sleep with?" She nodded.

"I hungry too." She said giggling slightly as her stomach grumbled. I laughed slightly and held out my arms. She got up and walked over to me before I picked her up and grabbed the basket before walking down stairs. Everyone was still down there when I got to the bottom. They all looked at me like I was some three headed monster.

"What would you like to eat?" I asked as I avoid everyone's eyes.

"Samwhich." She mumbled. I walked over towards Matt.

"Vicki do you think you could sit on Uncle Matt's lap while I get you your sandwich?" I asked.

"Uncle Dimples!" She screeched making us all laugh. He picked her up and hugged her before setting her in his lap and wrapping his arms around her. I heard her giggle as I walked into the kitchen. When I was done making her food I walked back out and handed it to her. She happily munched on it as I walked into the basement and started to wash her clothes. I sighed and walked back upstairs to see that she was done and now holding a stuffed duck.

"Ready for bed Vicki?" I asked as I walked over to her.

"Yep Yep Trista." She said giggling. I held my arms out again and she jumped off of Matt's lap nearly hitting his...jewels. She giggled when he groaned making the rest of us laugh again.

"Night Vicki." Syn said giving her a kiss on the cheek as he and Lusty walked to the door.

"Nighty night Uncle Synny and Aunt Brwittney."

"Alright baby girl me and Nikki are leaving too ok. Night and sweet dreams ok?" Johnny said as he stood up.

"Night Uncle John-John and Aunty Nik." She said giving them both huge hugs.

"Say good night to everyone else too Vicki." I said as she let go of Nikki. I guess they explained who the girls were because none of us except maybe Jocelyn knew that Jimmy had a daughter.

"Night Uncle Dimples. Night Aunt Jocie." She said as I set her on the ground so she could hug them.

"Night sweetie." They both said.

"Night Uncle Kitty. Night aunty Misfit." She said. Her was starting to slur making me giggle.

"Come on sweetie." I picked her back up and walked back upstairs to see Jimmy wasn't out of the shower yet. That was odd. It's been over an half an hour. I sighed and set Vicki on the bed letting her get comfortable before wrapping the blankets around her.

"Hun would you rather wear a dress or some pants and shorts?" I asked.

"Shorts and pants." She said smiling. I nodded and kissed her forehead. She laid down on my bed, right in the middle.

"I'm going to check on daddy ok?" She nodded too entranced by what was on TV then actually listening to me. I walked into the bathroom to see Jimmy standing in front of the skin. His head was resting against the mirror and his hands were gripping the skin hard. I knew that he was having problems. More for withdraws then anything. I just hope he doesn't relapse. I wrapped my arms around his waist and put my head on his shoulder.

"Why am I such a fuck up Tris? What did I do? Was I some mean horrible killer in a past life? Or did I do something when I was younger? What?" He asked as he gripped the counter even harder. His tears were rolling down his face.

"You didn't do anything. It's just life. You've had a really hard life. Maybe this is the turning point for you." I said as I rubbed his back. He turned around and wrapped his arms around me and started to cry. I felt so bad. There was nothing I could really do, but to help him as much as I could.

"Clean the tear stains off of your face and get in there and lay with your baby girl." I said smiling. He pulled away and smiled at me and nodded his head. I walked out into my room. I looked over at Victoria who was now staring at me.

"Lay." She said as she patted the bed. I nodded and pulled the covers back before crawling into them laying down. She snuggled into my chest and I wrapped my arms around her. I closed my eyes right before I heard Aidyn start to cry. I smiled down at Vicki who was almost asleep. Jimmy walked into the room and mouth to me "I got him." I nodded and laid back wrapping my arms tighter around her. He walked back in the room with Aidyn clinging to his arm. My eyes were closing. as I watched Jimmy feed Aidyn smiling down at Vicki as he did. I guess everything was finally catching up to me.