Wreckage From the Past Haunts Me; Shakes Me to the Bone

Just as I thought this tour is really stressful. We haven’t even been on the road for a week and already one of my bass drums are missing and another is broken so I have to use Jimmy’s drums. Both Slipknot and Murderdolls had to cancel the few first tour dates so they should be here tomorrow. Alex and Brandon from Atreyu got into a really bad fight and got locked up for a few hours while me and Dan bailed him out. One of Jussi's Cymbal broke. Burton's keyboard wasn't working correctly. Not only that, but Brittney’s favorite guitar was cracked by a fender bender we had. I don’t understand how it cracked, but it apparently it wasn’t put away correctly. Ugh I’m so tired. I have Vicki over her on our bus most of the time and let her sleep with me in my bunk, even though the guys have an extra bunk over there. It’s too loud over there with the guys snoring and she can’t sleep. So that means I deal with her dreams, which isn’t a problem, except I also have to get Aidyn in the middle of the night when he needs to be fed. He sleeps through the night on most nights, but when we don’t even get into the bus before one in the morning it kind of proves hard. I was currently extremely tired. I stayed up thinking last night so I got next to no sleep.

Anyways. I got up and walked into our "bathroom" Brittney passed me on the way out and gave me a smile. I smiled back before starting to fix my hair. We have to go to sound check in less then ten minutes and literally right after sound check the doors open. They had us do sound check last so they had everything right. I walked out of the bathroom making sure my hair was up in my signature bun. Its not a normal bun. It's got the bump type of thing in the front. I did my make up which was applying a think line of eyeliner and then some black and red eye shadow. After I was done with that I pulled on my red skinny jeans and my "No Fashion Victims" shirt with a red and white Ed Hardy belt. I slipped on my high top converse and walked to the front of the bus where the girls were waiting.

"Ready?" I asked as I grabbed my drum sticks. Jocelyn smiled and walked into the bunk room.

"What is she doing?" Nikki asked as she grabbed a Venom out of the small refrigerator. I shrugged. Nikki had her black "Johnny Christ Is My Favorite Gnome." shirt on with her black and white checkered skinny jeans on and her black converse on. Her make up was done simple just a bit of eyeliner and mascara. Her hair was in it's messy, yet tamed fashion.

"I think she had to grab her purse." Tegan said from the couch. She was dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans that had patches of plaid on them and a black "My Boss Is An Asshole" shirt and her knee high converse. Her hair was in her normal fashion too. The "Scene" hairstyle, it just didn't go up as much. She, too, did her makeup light with just her eye liner on because she had her glasses on.

"Well we're going to be late to sound check if she doesn't hurry." Brittney said. She was wearing something a little bit more sexy. She had her plaid skirt on with a plain black corset on that had a white button up shirt underneath with her red tie hanging over her corset. Fishnet tights adorned her legs until they reached her signature knee high boots. I loved those boots, the heel for them is a set of brass knuckles. Her hair was wavy and down. Her make up was simple also. I always loved how she dressed when we were on stage. She always showed why her stage name was Lusty, although we and the fans knew she was Brian's pride and joy. That man would die without her.

I stopped looking around for a minute when I felt something on my neck. I felt my neck to feel that a necklace was now laying on my skin. I picked it up and looked at it to see that it was a Jack Skeleton "Key". I turned around and basically tackled Jocelyn to the ground making everyone laugh.

"Your brother and I wanted to get you something for everything you went through this year and hope that maybe this could bring you some good luck. Tegan come here hun." She said as she held her hand up. Tegan help both me and Jocie up before Jocie pulled a necklace out of her pocket. I looked at it and had to bit my lip to stop my laughter as I saw the Coca-Cola bottle and a Hersey's with Almonds bar pendents that were hanging from the silver chain. Tegan squealed before tackling Jocie back to the ground. You see Jocie has always been the mother figure to us. Like Matt she was the leader of us.

"Girls it's time to go!" JB Diz said as he walked on to the bus. We all nodded and walked out of the bus. I popped my head back in and warned JB if he left my son alone for more then 30 seconds that he'll no longer have a dick. He gulped, but you see once we were off that bus we were no longer the girls you know. No. Now we were Fiction, Misfit, Jocelyn Suicide, Lusty, and Avenge Opaque. We were the hardcore bitches all the rest of the girls just love to hate. We're the girls who could steal your boyfriends in less then a second if we wanted too, but trust me we don't. We walked through the gates and over to the body gruads who smirked and let us in easily recognizing us from past visits.

"Hey Suicide want hook up with me later?" We didn't even look back. We knew who it was. It was Eric a local guy that wanted Jocelyn more then he wanted air. The bad thing was...he knew she was with Matt. Now any guy that would still come after her when they knew that she was with Matt was just down right stupid. She turned around and smirked.

"Not even if your life depended on it." She said simply and continued walking. We all smirked and walked behind her.

"And why is that Caty?" Eric asked. We all stopped walking. Jocie froze up and, I swear, I saw her jaw break from how fast it clenched. We all watched as she turned around. It's like everything froze. Everyone was just standing in place like their feet were stuck to the ground. It was as if time it self had actually stop. I seriously hope this guy can take a hit cause if not...well he's dead to put it nicely. She slowly turned around to face him. Anyone who looked at her could visibly see she was pissed. She calmed down or so it seemed as she walked over. She started playing with his tie in a sexual type of way.

"So you want me huh?"

"Yeah." He said as he walked forward as she pulled his tie until she was backed up against the wall and acted like she was gonna kiss him, but at the last second she moved and slammed his head into the wall. She brought his head back and did it again before she kneed him in the crotch hard. He dropped to the ground whithering in pain like he couldn't figure out which pain was worse. His crotch or his nose. She was about to do more damage, but me and Nikki pulled her back. Matt came running in and over to where me and Nikki were holding Jocie back.

"Are you ok?" He asked as he pulled her into him.

"Yeah baby I'm fine. He didn't even touch me." She said as she giggled. She kissed him before she looked over and smiled. His nose was at least broken and from what I could see as knocked out a tooth because it was lying next to him. Matt's face turned towards Eric and he walked over. He kicked him hard in the stomach before kneeling near him. Matt took off his aviators and looked at the sorry excuse of a man before just laughing.

"You got your ass kicked by a girl. Not only a girl, but one that is taken. Taken by me! If she hadn't done such a good job of kicking your ass I would, but I see that you've learned your lesson. Never come around her again. If you do I'm going to kill you do you understand Eric?"

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes sir I'll stay away from her." We were all biting out lips trying not to laugh. Matt wasn't even being rough. He was being calm and he had this guy scared. the rest of the guys were now over here and in a circle around the withering man.

"Do I have your promise Eric?"

"Yes sir." He said at once.

"Johnny take him outside." Johnny smirked before nodding, "Girls shall we?" Matt asked as if nothing had happened. Jocelyn laughed and wrapped her arm around Matt's waist.

"Bye Eric." She said as they walked away. Matt was smirking. We all shook our heads and walked away towards the stage. I sat behind my drums once we got over there and waited fr everyone else to get ready. They all nodded over to me when they were ready. I gave the count before starting into We Stand Up. The guitars and bass kicked in as soon they were needed. Jocelyn started to scream out the lyrics with perfection.

"I'll watch the sun go down this fall
I've watched the night reign,
Please note that casual observers are always
the first to go,
So this is for me and my boys
We'll always play our part
To kick and scream
To be the ones you hate to know
I could never turn my back
Because this is who I know
You know all that is the truth
We are all we have
In a world that corrupts
Our struggling soul
You know all that is the truth"

I leaned over and sang the next verse.

"If you plead don't do it twice
I've still got something to say here
I will bear my heart to expose my soul
If honesty has a price
Then I won't fucking pay, dear
We will take our dreams straight to the grave"

It wen back to Jocelyn as she jumped up and down in spot.

"Choke on this and on my words
And on us and my honesty
It's of no consequence
Because I've see the opulence
The beauty I've held in my eyes
If only for seconds
What will never take away
What we have built together
Without hands, without hearts,
Without minds"

I took a deep breath again before sing out my verse once again.

"If you plead don't do it twice
I've still got something to say here
I will bear my heart to expose my soul
If honesty has a price
Then I won't fucking pay, dear
We will take our dreams straight to the grave"

Lusty's fingers ran over her guitar as she played the guitar solo as if her life depended on it.

"If this is just in our heads
Then we'll keep on living the perfect lie
One day at a time
God bless our cheating hearts and damn your lies

If this is just in our heads
Then we'll keep on living the perfect lie
One day at a time
God bless us"

I sang once more before finishing the song. I rested my head against my drums for a second before looking up at my band who was smiling. This was it. We were going on stage in less then a half an hour. Jocelyn said she was going to go change before she ran off stage. We all nodded knowing she had blood on her white shirt. I think she was going to just change her shirt. I felt a hand on my back and I looked up to see Jimmy. He smiled back down at me and rubbed my shoulder before hugging me and resting his head on my shoulder.

"Between me and you my drums aren't going to last long." He laughed.

"I'm sorry love. Mine are coming soon though."

"It's cool baby. Use them as long as you need. At least I know they're in the hands of someone who knows what she's doing." I smiled and nodded before closing my eyes and resting my head against his.

"I'm tired." I said as he wrapped his arms around my waist and picked me up. Quickly moving me so he was holding me bridal style. I wrapped my arms around his neck and snuggled my head into his neck.

"No going to sleep. You've got a show to play." I nodded but kept my eyes closed. I woke up fifteen minutes later to Jocelyn shaking me.

"Come on we gotta put on a show!" I nodded and got up. Jimmy was asleep on the couch as well making me laugh. I looked over at Jocie to see that she had changed into her "M. Shadows is my type of Hulk." shirt that had rips in the back and a pair of dark blue skinny jeans that were under her buckled up knee high boots. her hair was in her normal fashion. I always said it looked fluffy, but really it's more the "scene" look too, which I love!

I grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch and covered Jimmy with it. He snuggled in to it, but grabbed my arm. I looked over at Jocie for help, but she simply covered her eyes. Lusty walked in with Brian and laughed slightly before walking over to help me.

"Wait! That's just priceless." Brian said as he pulled her back. She looked and then nodded.

"Sorry girl you're on your own." I glared at her before pulling out my cell phone and texting Matt.

Brother do you love me?

No...

That's fucked up! Come get your drummer off my arm pwease

Fine. He walked in a second later and pulled my arm from Jimmy before laughing when I fell on my butt. I flipped him off before I walked out to my drum set. The girls stood at the side of the stage and smiled over at me. I winked before hitting my toms hard just as I hit the bass pedal with my foot. the lights flicked on and the crowd started to scream. I looked over and smiled before doing it again getting an even bigger response.

"Guys I don't think that's enough! Give her more!" Alex screamed into the mic. The crowd cheered ten times louder making me satisfied to start the opening song which was In Fates Hands. We played dour hearts out the crowd went wild just the way they always do until we heard booing. Our song sixth song ended and we all looked at each other. Me and Jocie witched spots and I started to sing Dead Memories. As I was singing I heard Lusty scream. I looked over to see that someone had thrown a water bottle at her. There was now a small gash above her eyebrow. I dropped my mic and ran over to her. Soon all of the girls were right there. We knew it was Slipknot's fans. They knew about mine and Cory's past relationship and honestly I wouldn't be surprised if it was a girl who did it. Just why the threw it at Lusty unless it was aimed at me. That was until I heard what tone chick yelled out. Her exact words were "Stop trying to be like the guys." soon more things were being yelled. Varying from "Get of the stage." to "Only guys can rock!" More things were thrown at us before the guys came over and grabbed us and pulled us off stage. I saw Matt, Alex, and Brandon run out on stage.

"You guys think that only guys can rock right?" Alex said with his devilish smirk. The crowd screamed in response.

"Raise your hand if you think that we show let them play again." I heard Matt say. I saw a good portion raise their hands but it wasn't enough of the crowd. I saw Jocie walk on stage and I knew this crowd was gonna have hell to pay.

"So what just because we're girl we don't get respect? We can't have a band that kick ass just because you're all closed minded." The crowd laughed. Actually laughed! I walked out and grabbed the mic from Alex.

"Who the hell through the bottle?!" I screamed into the mic. A girl threw her hand up in the air, "Get her ass up here." the crowd looked shocked by my response. The guard set her up on he stage and she walked over to me. I towered over her by a good seven inches. I smirked and shook my head. I just looked over and smiled to Matt Berry. He nodded and walked out and grabbed her promising her something like a shirt or some crap like that.

"Despite the fact that you all hate us. We've got one more song!" Jocie yelled she smiled to me and I nodded. I walked behind my drums and started the count down. I started off the song sing with as much passion and raw vocals as I could.

So fucking
Blow those words out the back of your head
I've heard it all and I’m done with that shit
You tell me lies and
You give what you get
So blow those fucking words out the back of your head.

Jocelyn smirked to me before screaming out the lyrics.

Oh my god
Did you just hear
Lies are coming back in style
Oh my god
They seem so real that they bind you
And confine you
So shut your mouth we've heard it all
Hypocrites and critics all
Can fuck off we do this for our souls oh our souls

Nikki and Lusty walked over to their mics to sing What they say won’t make us go away

I sang my part again but this time I had Tegan leaning over to sing it with me.

So fucking
Blow those words out the back of your head
I've heard it all and I’m done with that shit
You tell me lies and
You give what you get
So blow those fucking words out the back of your head.

Lusty sang the next part completely surprising the crowd and making the shut up.

We’re not sorry and we won’t conform
It’s not a choice but something inborn
If we fail following our hearts can you blame us. no no no

We all sang the next part together. Tegan leaning over once more.

A square peg in a black hole
We don’t fit in, that’s the way it goes
You shouldn’t act like you’re better than us cause you're not no you're not
No no no

What they say won’t make us go away

I sang my part two more times and repeated "back of your head" nearly five times.

So fucking
Blow those words out the back of your head
I've heard it all and I’m done with that shit
You tell me lies and
You give what you get
So blow those fucking words out the back of your head.

Jocie sang the next line before it went back over to Nikki and Lusty.
Tell yourself your not alone at all


(Looking out your window. Know you’re all alone) Lusty and Nikki kicked into their kick ass guitar solo before I sang the last part of the song, but Jocie took over the last line.

What they say won’t make us go away
So fucking
Blow those words out the back of your head
I've heard it all and I’m done with that shit
You tell me lies and
You give what you get
So blow those fucking words out the back of your head.

We all quietly stood up and walked off the stage before we heard the whole crowd erupt into screams and cheers. All of the guys hugged us. I looked over to see Matty (B) holding a camera.

"And that my friends is how you kick a crowds ass without touching them! Well except a few." He said as he grinned evilly.

We all looked over at him. He smiled and lead us outside where we saw Eric and the girl tied to chairs and fans were laughing. The girl's make up was destroyed. She had soda dumped on her.

"Get them untied!" Nikki yelled laughing.