Wreckage From the Past Haunts Me; Shakes Me to the Bone

"Can I see Tegan?" I asked as I stood up. I wanted to talk with her before I saw Trista because I don't think I would have been able to talk after.

"Yes sir she's in room 352. Trista's in the same room. I need to warn you the blood from the incedent is still on them. Tegan asked us to stop becasue she was hurting and we were afraid to do anymore to Trista." He said as he stared at me. I nodded before walking out of the office.

"Hey man I would stay, but I'm beat and I left Lust at home without letting her now what was up. She'll probably want to know what happen to her drummer and her bassist. I'll come by later ok? Call if anything changes." Syn said as he yawned and gave me a hug. I didn't take offense to them wanting to leave. I woke them up at 4:00 am and it's now 9:30. Johnny agree and walked out with him.

"Hey Syn!" Zacky yelled after him, "Take my car since you have Johnny!" Syn nodded and caught the keys to Zacky's car. I sighed and walked into my angels' room. As soon as I saw them my heart dropped and my breath was caught in my throat. The left side of Tegan's face was swollen making her eye swollen shut. She still had dried blood in her hair making the blonde look like a rusty red and her arm was wrapped in a bandage. She had stitches to hold the gash on her forehead closed. She looked over and saw me and gave me a sad smile.

"Hey Matty." She spoke with a raspy voice.

"Oh god. Tegan I'm so sorry." I said as I felt a tear run down my face.

"It wasn't your fault." She said as she looked over at Trista, "She wouldn't blame you either. She would just be happy that you got there in time and he didn't hurt Aidyn."

I nodded before dropping my head. She grabbed a hold of my hand that was on the bed and gave it a squeeze. I smiled slightly, enough to show my dimples. She giggled slightly. Ever since we were kids she's loved my dimples. They always cheered her up. I looked over to see Zacky sitting on the opposite side of her bed with his head down. She dropped my hand and ran hers through Zacky's hair making him smile. That was always something that calmed him down. I looked over to see Jimmy running his hand, that wasn't holding onto Aidyn, through Trista's hair. I haven't really looked at her. I'm too scared. Yeah that's right M. Shadows is scared of something, but can you blame me? I mean if you were me you'd probably hurting more then ever. I feel like my whole world came crashing down. My sisters were hurt and I couldn't stop it until it was almost to late. I looked back at Tegan to see that she was smiling down at a sleeping Zacky. He was breathing softly through his nose. I smiled before shaking my head.

"I'm going to get some rest ok?" Tegan said as she closed her eyes, "Oh and Matt stand up to your fears. Wasn't that what you told us?"

I nodded and smiled lightly at my old saying. It was something I told the girls when they were afraid. I watched as she closed her eyes again before walking over to my baby sister. I took deep breath and walked over to Trista's bed. I could already feel the tear brimming my eyes with each step. I finally got to her bed, but had my eyes closed until Jimmy placed his hand on my shoulder. Her brown hair was clumped together in some spots and her highlights were now a rusty red instead of the light brown. Her beautiful hazel eyes were closed and swollen. Her full rosy lips were pale and chapped. The side of her face had a long gash and her nose still had a few drops of blood dried from where it ran down. Her bridge was taken out and so was her lip ring. There were a few stitches where Brandon had nearly ripped out her piercings. She was breathing on her own, thank god, but I could see she was struggling. Her knee was in a brace that showed the screws and her arm was wrapped up tight. Jimmy set Aidyn in his car seat that Johnny had boughten in and walked over to the sink. I heard the water running as I grabbed a hold of Trista's unharmed hand. Jimmy walked back over and slowly started to wipe the blood off of her face and arms before moving to her hair. By the time he was done, I couldn't contain the tears any longer. She looked a little better then she did, but not much.

"Jimmy why don't you get Aidyn to my house and get Zacky into the spare room. You can use your room there." I said as I handed him the keys. He took them from me and pulled me into a hug. I gripped his shoulders as tears started to pour from my eyes. He pulled away after a few moments.

"Call me if you need anything ok?" I nodded before he grabbed Aidyn and he and Zacky and walked out. I took Trista's hand in mine again as I wiped away the tears that were pouring from my eyes. I looked down at my broken sister. Her chest rising and falling with every breath. It looked like it pained her to even breath.

"Oh god. I'm so sorry. I should have been there. I should have been the big brother I'm supposed to be and protected you. I should have been there. You would have been safe. You wouldn't have been hit. He wouldn't have gone after Aidyn. I could have saved you from being hurt. This is my fault. All my fault." I said as I put my head in my hands and let every tear drop.

Tegan's P.O.V ~the next day~

"Ready to get out of here?" Zacky asked me as he helped me up.

"God yes!" I said laughing, but then I looked over at my sister and my brother. Matt was asleep on Trista's hand that he was holding. His hair was sticking up in odd places making me giggle. I saw the tears stains running down his face. I bet he thinks this was his fault. I already looked over at Trista. I can't again.

"Come on. She'll be ok." He said as I limped over to Matt and hugged him waking him. He smiled an hugged me back before he let go.

"I'm going home ok? Do you want us to bring you anything?" I asked.

"Just some clothes." He said laying his head back down and falling back asleep. I smiled and ran my fingers through his hair and kissed his forehead before wlaking over to Zacky and out of the room. We wlaked over to the elevartor quitely before waiting for it to come up. When it finally came up we got on. Zacky pressed the first floor button making the elevator move. He sat with his back against the wall, his head resting against it adn his eye closed. I walked over to him, without him noticing, and wrapped my right arm round his waist and my left on his chest. I looked up at him when he jumped before laying my head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arms aorund my waist.

"What's wrong?" He asked notcing a tear falling from my eye.

"Thank you." I said I said as he wipped it away.

"You'd do it for me." He said with a smiled. I nodded and place my head back on his shoulder. We walke dout of the hospital and to his mustange.

"Do you want to go straight home or go get something to eat first?" He asked as he drove out of the hospital parking lot.

"I just want to go home and sleep." I said with my head falling back to show my point. He laughed before saying, "Home it is."

He turned into Matt's driveway and turned off the car as I got out. He grabbed my bags and held his hand out for me to take. I smiled adn took his hand as he walked up to the front door. When the door opened I saw Jimmy asleep on the couch with Aidyn being held close to his chest. I smiled at the sight.

"Hey. I was just getting the bassinet ready in Jimmy's room." Johnny said as he walked down the stairs.

"Why Jimmy's room?" I asked as I stared at him.

"Jimmy won't let him out of his sight. Are you ok?" He said as he walked over and hugged me.

"For the most part." I said with my head down.

"It'll get better." Zacky said as he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me into a hug.

"Why don't you guys go get in bed and I'll get Jimmy up to his room? God knows he hasn't slept. I'll give him sometime to sleep. Tegan you're staying in the room across from Zacky." Johnny said with a huge smile. I nodded and walked upstairs and to my room. This was one of the rooms that Matt never really used so it's just white with black and red bed sheets. I changed into my pjs with little trouble and crawled in bed. I know I was only in the hospital for one day, but you'd be amazed at how much it makes you want to be in a real bed. I tossed and turned for a few hours. No matter how I was laying I couln't get comfortable. Questions kept running through my head.

What would have happened if Matt hadn't gotten there?
What would have happened to Aidyn?
What would have heppened to me and Trista?
But most of all these two...
What if this all happens again?
When's Trista going to wake up?

I sighed and sat up before getting out of bed, which resulted in me standing up too fast and getting dizzy. I sighed again before walking out of my room and across the hall to Zacky's. I hesitated for a mintue before knocking. When I didn't get an answer I opened the door to see Zacky laying on his side breathing lightly through his nose filling the room with his soft snores. I smiled lightly before I notcied his shirt was off. I looked at his chest and tattoos before I started to close the door again.

"Tegan?" I heard him whisper.

"Ummm...Yeah." I said as I walked into his room more.

"What's wrong?" He asked rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Can't sleep." I said simply from the door way, "I'll let you get back to sleep."

"No! Tegan come on. You can stay in here if you want."

"No I can't take your space." I said as I started to walk back out. He jumped out of his bed and grabbed my arm before pulling me towards it.

"Come on it's a California King. There's lots of room. I'll stay up with you until you fall asleep." He said pulling me down next to him. I nodded and curled up into his side before putting my hands on his biceps. He put his arms around my waist and his head on mine. I listened to his heart beat and smiled making him smile in my hair.

"You need to shower." He said as he chuckled.

"Your sheets need to be washed." I replied makign him laugh.

"I know." He said laughing harder. Our laughter died down before I closed my eyes finally feeling safe. I know what you're thinking. It was your sister that had the abusive boyfriend what do you mean finally? Well lets just say my sisters not the only one with a past, but that's another story for a different day.