Wreckage From the Past Haunts Me; Shakes Me to the Bone

I awoke to the sun shining right in my face, blinding me and making me more the aware of the nauseous feeling present in my stomach. I covered my mouth with my hand, as I quickly jumped out of bed and raced to the bathroom. My knees barely hit the floor before the contents of my stomach came up. Heaves tore through my body making every joint in my body scream with pain. The ice cold tile felt amazing on the burning flesh of my legs, but was sending waves of cold through my body making me shiver. My stomach was screaming for the heaves to stop and, after what felt like hours, they finally did. I rested my head on the porcelain invention given to humans by the porcelain gods themselves as my eyes closed.

“Oh sweetie.” I heard from behind me. A cold hand was placed on my back making shivers run through my entire body. I heard the water running before a warm wash cloth was ran softly across my face.

“Come on lets get you back into bed and into something else to wear.” Jimmy said as he picked me up off of the floor. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my head there as well, relishing in the ice cold feeling of skin pressing against my burning flesh. He set me gently on the bed before running over to the closet. I opened my eyes and watched as he walked back over to my motionless form. He smiled sadly as he untied the tie on my pants and gently tugged them down before replacing them with my blue leopard boxers. My top was fine since it was just a simple black tank top.

“I’m going to go get you some meds and everything else ok?” He asked as he placed a kiss on my forehead.

“I love you.” I said quietly. He knows that when I get sick I end up being extremely clingy and for some odd reason he never minded.

“I love you too beautiful.” He responded as he brushed some hair out of my face. I smiled softly and closed my eyes as I heard the door close. I laid there for a few minutes in silence until I heard Aidyn’s cries. I sighed and pushed my legs to the side of the bed before trying to push myself up off of the bed.

“Lay back down baby. I’ll get him.” Jimmy said, running back into the room and setting everything down. He handed me some Tylenol and of glass of water before pushing me back down onto the bed. Something changed and I instantly knew I wasn’t the only one sick.

“He’s sick too and he’s going to throw up.” I said as I pushed Jimmy towards the door. He nodded and ran down the hall. I heard Aidyn cry louder before gagging. I winced as I heard Jimmy say “dammit”. I could hear Jimmy trying to calm Aidyn down as, I’m sure, he changed him.

“Babe just bring him to me.” I yelled, or tried to yell. I heard Jimmy’s sigh as he said a quiet ok. I heard his foot steps and Aidyn’s cries as Jimmy walked down the hall way. He walked in and handed Aidyn to me. I instantly set Aidyn on the bed, not trusting my strength. I laid down on my side and pulled Aidyn closer. He yawned and snuggled into my side more, picking up my arm and wrapping it around himself. I chuckled slightly and laid down more so he was pressed right into my side. He turned so he was on his side as well and closed his eyes. I slid him over more so that Jimmy could get back in bed since we were on his side.

“What time is it?” I asked as Jimmy pulled the blanket up around me, Aidyn and himself.

“About 5:30. Go to sleep mamas.” He whispered already falling to sleep as he lazily wrapped an arm around my waist and Aidyn. I looked down as I heard Aidyn’s even breathing to see that he had fallen asleep. I smiled and closed my eyes, feeling Jimmy kiss my shoulder. I could feel my whole body relax as my eyes felt heavier.

I felt my eyes starting to open sometime later as kisses were placed up and down my face. I smiled as I felt two more smiles on my cheeks. I opened my eyes fully to see Vicki and Aidyn smiling.

“What are you two doing? I told you not to bug momma.” Jimmy said as he walked in.

“I don’t mind Jimmy. I see Aidyn’s feeling better.” I said as I looked down at him. Aidyn smiled widely before laying down with his head on my shoulder. I smiled and set my head on top of his. I lifted my arm and pulled Vicki in to my right side as I saw her pout. She smiled and curled into a ball on my lap.

“Why don’t we all just lay here in bed and watch movies?” I asked Jimmy. Both kids looked over at him as well and pouted. You could see his heart melt at the sight of the two of them.

“Alright....just stop with the faces! What movie first?” He asked laughing and shaking his head. Both of the kids looked over at each other before yelling Jack. We both started laughing, he nodded and walked over to our TV pressing play, seeing as I watched it last night. Yes I’m in my 20s and I still watch Nightmare Before Christmas religiously. It’s a classic, what can I say. Once the movie was playing he laid next to us, wrapping his arms around me and Vicki. I acted like I was into the movie, but really I was watching the two of them. The love in his eyes was amazing. The kind of love that you wish to see in every fathers eyes, but rarely do. Anything she chose to do you know that he would be right behind her in. I can only hope that he will love Aidyn the same amount. Before I knew it the movie was over and both kids were sleeping soundly again.

“You seemed pretty fixated on me and Vicki there babe.” Jimmy said as I shook my head.

“Sorry.” I whispered. The nauseous feeling was back and I was trying to suppress it as much as I could. Especially since I really couldn’t move with both kids asleep on my arms. Jimmy reached over and kissed my forehead before sighing and grabbing something off of the nightstand.

“Here tilt your head back.” He said as he set a hand behind my head. I did as he said and nearly gagged when he dropped two Tylenol in my mouth. I swallowed them dry making myself cringe. He laughed softly as he shook his head. I sneezed making my arms jolt. My whole body immediately froze as both kids stirred.

“I’m going to take them to their rooms ok?” I nodded as I tried not to sneeze again. He picked both of them up, showing how long he had been doing this, and walked out of the room. I got out of bed, shakily, and walked down the hall. I held on to the wall as I walked into Aidyn’s room to see Jimmy set him down in his bed and cover him up.

“Mamas what are you doing up?” He asked looking over at me. I smiled weakly before clearing my throat.

“I didn’t want to be in bed anymore.” I said as I held on to the door frame. I felt extremely weak and I hated it. Jimmy must have saw this because he walked over and wrapped an arm around my back and slowly led me away from the door frame. We were almost to our room when I felt like I was going to pass out. My knees buckled and if Jimmy wasn’t there I would have fallen straight to the ground. His grip tightened on me as he gently set me down.

“Are you ok?” He asked. The worry in his voice was like none I’ve ever heard except when I was in the hospital. I nodded my head and tried to stand up, but my legs just wouldn’t allow it. He sighed softly in a way that I could tell he was worried. I just smiled softly, trying to show him that I was ok. He smiled back, but it was only a slight smile. He helped me up and kept a tight hold on my waist, tightening with every step.

“I’m going to call Matt ok? And see if my mom can take the kids.”

“Aidyn’s sick too.” I arugued.

“Not as much as you. He’ll be ok.” I nodded, not really having the energy to fight anymore. He set me in bed and wrapped the blanket around me. My breathing was now uneven and my whole body ached. I curled up into a ball and closed my eyes, feeling unable to keep them open. The water in our bathroom was turned on making me question what Jimmy was doing, but I put it in the back of my mind as I heard Jimmy walk into the room. He softly brushed some hair out of my face and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead.

“Babe Matt told me to get you into the shower ok? The steam should help your breathing.” He said as he slowly took the blankets off of me, making me shiver at the loss of heat. He picked me up with ease and walked into the bathroom. Setting me on the counter he checked the water and pulled off his own clothes before gently pulling mine as well. The warm, not hot, water hit my back and I instantly relaxed. If I wasn’t tired before I am now. I could feel my chest relaxing from trying to breath so hard. I sighed as Jimmy kissed my forehead and ran a hand through my hair.

“I remember Matt telling you to do this for me when I was sick back when we were just starting out on tour.” Jimmy recalled laughing slightly. I smiled and nodded remembering that Jimmy was basically in the same position as me now. I leaned more against him nearly falling asleep. Jimmy must have figured this out because he turned off the shower and wrapped a towel around me and himself. We walked into the bedroom, him right behind me incase I fell, but I seemed to stay up the entire way. I quickly changed and got back into bed. Jimmy changed just as quickly and ran out into the livingroom as the doorbell rung. I laid in bed for a few minutes before I heard Matt’s voice.

“Yeah man. She’s in bed right now. She’s completely worn out just from walking. Me and her were walking back in the room from putting the kids to bed for their nap and her legs completely gave out. She almost fell asleep in the shower too.” I heard Jimmy say as his voice became closer and closer to the room. I snuggled closer to the blanket as Matt walked into the room. I opened my eyes to see him looking down at me sadly.

“You ok sis?” He asked as he ran a hand through my hair. I leaned into his touch.

“No I want my brother.” I said quietly. He laughed and looked over Jimmy, who simply laughed and nodded. Matt slipped out of his jacket and shoes before climbing into the bed next to me and pulled me into his grasp. I smiled over at Jimmy who smiled back and closed my eyes. The last thing I heard was Matt singing softly, just like he used to.