Buried Myself Alive

I hit the water off at the sound of someone knocking on my door. I knew they’d try something. I ran my hand threw my dripping, wet hair and grabbed the towel off the floor, wrapping it around my waist. I stepped out, I wasn’t about to open the door without know which one of them was out there.

“What do you want?” I stared at myself in the mirror as I leaned my shoulder against the door. There were a few scratches on my chest and arms, probably from him. I didn’t have as many bruises as I used to, I learned how to live with Jeff and deal with him.

“Frank,” Gerard? I noted his voice was quick and nervous. “I- um, can I come in?”

I heard a bunch of laughs and snickers coming from behind the door. Then I heard the quick groan of Gerard. They didn’t put him up to this did they?

“Why?” I knew that wasn’t the best question since he probably didn’t have an answer.

I heard his voice whisper through the door, pleading. “Please, just let me in. I’ll keep my eyes closed.”

I swallowed hard. I am so gunna get all of them back with something. I don’t know what, but when I find out who’s idea this was I’ll- “Frank, please, They’re all staring at me.”

I opened the door, making sure to keep myself behind the door and away from their eyes. Cat calls and whistles followed Gerard in. He walked in with his eyes squeezed closed and managed to whack his knee on the cabinet under the sink. “Ugh, fuck!”

He almost fell forwards when I sped forward and caught him.

Shit. This is so unbelievably awkward. I had my hands around his wrists steadying him from behind, but it was like my arms were a-fucking-round him. I heard his breath catch and few random curses slip through his lips.

That’s when we heard the footsteps go out the front door, shortly after the door close and the lock set. I loosened my grip a bit and rested my head on his shoulder. I knew I would be drenching his clothes, but oh well. He smelled really good for a guy that spent two days in the same clothes.

“Hey, Gerard? Are you okay?” I bit the inside of my cheek and looked at him from my side view. His eyes were still closed but they were relaxed now. It was completely silent as he searched for the right words.

He turned his head away and snuck away from my grasp. “I’m sorry. I let them talk me into this. You’re not even done showering yet are you? Fuck, Frank, I’m sorry.”

He crouched down to sit on the tile floor. I smiled at Gerard even though he couldn’t see it. He was too cute from the angle I was looking at. He sighed and began reaching out from what I guess was something to support his weight on as he stood up. I felt his fingers grazed my towel then my leg. Tingles were left from where he touched and he jerked his hand. The look on his face was priceless.

The cheeks on his face turned red in a heartbeat, his eyes squeezed tighter shut. His voice was high and fast, “Frank, I could leave now. I mean, they all left already. They wouldn’t know and…”

I moved down, kneeling in front of where he was. My face was right in front of his, all I had to do was lean forward just a little bit more..

I wonder if he knows that I’m right here. I guess the fact he stopped talking is the answer enough. I moved back and sat against the wall. I wasn’t going to do this. I mean a part of me wanted to take full advantage of this whole scene.

I mean who would want to pass up a chance to get sexed, but I wouldn’t do that to him. He deserved to know me. He needed to know me first.

“Gerard, I don’t know if I should say this. Fuck, this is fucked up. Whatever, I’m not doing this in here. Common let’s go to Quinn’s bedroom.”

I stood up and held the towel with my left hand and reached my right hand out. I watched his eyes open wide and stare up at me. I scrunched my eyes shut as I realized what I just said. I began to stutter.

“I- I uh.. didn’t mean it like that… I- I-” I clamped my jaw shut to stop me from embarrassing myself any further. This was so fucking awkward.

I felt his hand wrap around mine and his arm tug mine as he stood up. “I’ll follow you, I know that’s not how you meant it. You don’t have to tell me.”

He sounded so calm and comforting, but there was also a hint of disappointment in his voice. I think he wished we could.. As much I wished we could.

I felt his eyes on me, so I opened mine to find myself facing him. How could any of this be happening? All of this… It wasn’t things that happened to me. None of it. Friends? Trust? Care? Dare I say it.. Love? I kept my eyes locked onto his, I needed just one thing to seal this…