Buried Myself Alive

*Gerard’s POV*
-Time Lapse: 3 days later-

I held the bags of food from the grocery store in my hand. I made my way around the corner toward our building, placing the bags on the floor for a second so I could buzz Mikey to let me in. It was surprisingly light out today, the bright blue sky bright with white wispy clouds.

At the sound of the door buzzing I pulled it open flipping the door stopper down. I picked up the five plastic bags and use my foot to move the door stop back up, allowing me to close the door. I brought the bags up the stairs and into our apartment. Mikey sat on the couch with Alicia’s arms around him, her jet-black hair falling onto his shoulder.

She smiled. “Hey, Gerard.” I returned her smile with a half-hearted one. “Hey..” I wasn’t exactly fond of him bringing Alicia over when I would be home. I doubt anyone would want to see their make out sessions, but.. I guess I couldn’t complain now considering Mikey getting an eyeful of Frank and I..

I smiled, a full and true smile, to myself. Mikey took his eyes off of his girlfriend for a second to eye the bags in my hands. “Did you get the cereal I wanted?”

I sighed as I walked across the apartment and dropped the bags next to the fridge. “Sorry, Mikes. They weren’t on sale and the shit you eat is like 3 bucks.” I turned my head to glance at him. He had his arms crossed. “It’s not shit and it’s not my fault it’s never on fucking sale.”

I felt bad, being the older brother and not being able to get Mikey the little things he wanted.. But he knew. I mean, it was his money we lived on. I watched as Alicia leaned forward and pecked his cheek making him lighten up. “Ya know, Babe.. If you ever want something you can’t.. get.. Just let me know. I’ll get my parents to get it for me.”

I turned my head away and pulled the stuff out of their bags. I had always been surprised with Alicia, with the fact she had stayed with him even though his way of living had gone south from the way it used to be.Because of me.

After putting everything away I sat on the floor next to the couch.. or my bed. I mean, they were the same for me. I looked back at my brother, a light bruise left on his jaw. That was the only reminder of the events of that day.

I wonder if I could things behind me with Bert the same way Mikes and Frank did. I gulped, it wasn’t the same thing.

“So, Gerard. Mikey was telling me about this guy..” I turned, resting my arm on the seat of the sofa so I could face them. She took a glance at Mikey. “Frank.. Right?”

I sighed and looked at my brother. Him and his big mouth, at least he only told Alicia.. “Yeah, his name is Frank.” She smiled that smile that should have been in a toothpaste commercial. “Aw! I’m so happy for you!”

I gave her a lopsided grin. “Thanks..”

Mikey sat there giving me the face he always gave me. The one that said, Be nice to her. It wasn’t that I didn’t like her. It’s just she’s so happy and she seems so perfect, I mean like model perfect. I as happy for my brother to have her, but I sometimes wondered what made her choose him.

My brother cleared his throat. “Why don’t you give him a call? You haven’t seen him since, Monday! It’s already Wednesday, give him a call.. Knowing him he might think you forgot about him.”

Even though I wanted to say Frank would never think that, the fact was that he would. Even after what I told him Sunday, even after I told him I loved him. Maybe I shouldn’t have? I only met him last Thursday. Too late to have second thoughts on saying that, but why should I have second thoughts? I meant what I said, I know that.

“Sure.” I got up and walked into the bedroom. We had agreed to put the phone in here since Mikey would be using it more, and I had no intent to listen to him go all gooey over Alicia. I picked up the phone from it’s dock and pulled the drawer open from the end table it had been on. I grabbed the note pad my brother kept all phone numbers in, just in case he needed them.

I pressed the numbers into the phone and waited for someone to pick up. “Hey.” A deep voice answered. I swallowed. “Um- Hi, It’s Gerard.”

I heard a short laugh. “Yeah, sure. Hold on, I’ll get Frank. He’s been out of it waiting for you to call.” I could hear someone yell in the background. “Jeph! Shut the fuck up!”

It sounded as if the phone had been dropped because of a loud crash on the phone line. After sitting down on the mattress I wasn’t sure if anyone was even on the line. “Hello?” I asked into the receiver. I heard more voices, curses, and laughing. “Hel- Hello?”

“Hey, It’s me.” I smiled to myself at how movie cliché that sounded. He started to tell me how he had been waiting for me to call only because he was too scared to call me himself. While I listened to his voice my heart softened inside. After all the TV worthy drama that had been going on, normalcy was well appreciated.

He hadn’t return my words, but I don’t think I ever really expected him too. I just wanted him to know what he meant to me. He was the first good thing to happen to me in a long time..

“Uh- G?” I fought back the instinct to cringe. “Yeah..?”

I heard him take a breath. “I want to see you.. I mean I want to go someplace and do something. I don’t know what, but I just want to go out.. With you.”

I think my heart melted. A big grin made it’s way onto my lips. “Of course! I guess I’ll start to make my way over to Jepha’s.. Is Quinn cool with me now?”

“Yeah, Yeah. He just wasn’t sure about things. I- I guess I’ll see you soon..”

“Alright. Bye.” I hit End and placed the phone back into the dock. I ran my hand through my hair. I shook my head over and over again to myself. It was all too.. surreal.

I hopped off the bed and made my way into the closet I shared with Mikey. I pulled out an old pair of jeans. If I had the money I’d buy a baggier pair, I didn’t like it that much when they were tight on me.. I had no choice but to deal with it.

I pulled off the jeans I had on, kicking them toward the wall, and dig my best to get the clean pair on. I ended up having to jump to get them around my waist. I dug through the second drawer of the dresser I also shared with Mikey. I pulled out a grey vintage style Batman logo shirt. I hadn’t worn this in forever, but it would have to do.

I pulled it over my head and stuck my arms through it, pulling it down so it completely covered my chest. Even this seemed a little tight on me… I frowned at my reflection in the mirror-doors. I shrugged, giving up with arguing with myself and grabbed a dark navy blue hoodie. At least I had something on the baggy side.

Finally somewhat happy with my appearance, I made my way out of the apartment. Though not before being complimented by Alicia. Oh my gosh! Gerard, those clothes make you look so different! If only you could loose the hoodie… You’d look amazing! Puh-lease. As if I’d ever look ‘amazing’ in anything. I rolled my eye at the thought.

I kept my mind onwhat who I wanted to see at the moment.

Frank.